Sophie didn't find the rearranging of her schedule to be time consuming, but she was frustrated having to hand so many of her clients over to another midwife. One of her clients was about to become a third time mother during the time Sophie was going to be gone. Having been present for the other two births, Sophie hated the fact that she wouldn't be there for the third. Meeting her niece and nephew was the only thing that made the whole situation okay.
After hanging up with Bryna, or as Sophie was now referring to her silently, the ice queen, she had dug out all of Nanette's letters and poured over them, hoping to find some indication of the life her sister was living. She didn't find anything, but enjoyed re-reading how her niece, Kinley and her nephew, Briley had come into the world.
Oh, Soph. You should see her tiny little fingers, Nanette wrote of her daughter, The only baby I can relate her to is you, and I don't remember your fingers being nearly this small. They're long and slender, her tiny little fingernails on the tip of each, I think I could sit and stare at her hands for months if she'd let me.
Nanette had been detailed in their birth stories, so detailed in fact that Sophie felt like she was there in the room. In the end, it left her in tears. She'd packed the letters back into her closet and spent the rest of the evening packing her suitcase. They didn't stay in her closet long, before she zipped her bag shut, they'd found their way in the top.
Sophie's best friend for the past five years, Amber Watson, had offered to take Sophie to the airport along with watering the plants and checking her mail while she was gone. A knock on the door indicated Amber had arrived. Sophie opened the door for her friend. Amber was a wild card and Sophie adored her for many reasons, but her favorite was that Amber cared very little what other people thought. She was wearing a white, flowing skirt, paired with a bright red peasant top. Her usually red hair was dyed black and up in a bun. Most people were taken aback by Amber, but Sophie wasn't.
"I know this is a sad occasion and all," Amber said immediately, "But have you considered having an overseas affair of some sort?"
"Wouldn't affair imply I have someone in my life to cheat on?" Sophie asked, giving Amber room to walk in.
"Please, humor the thought of having an illicit sexual relationship with a hot French guy so I can live vicariously through you!"
"In between getting to know my niece and nephew and mourning my sister, I'll try to accommodate you," Sophie said sarcastically.
Amber, who had made herself comfortable on Sophie's bed, shrugged. Sophie pushed her suitcase over and sat next to Amber.
"Speaking of the little munchkins," Amber said, "Are you bringing them back here?"
"Of course! I can have Kinley sleep in the bathtub and Briley can sleep in a dresser drawer," Sophie replied, still sarcastic, "I think their grandma is going to keep them. She's still alive. I'm not cut out to be a mother, I'll leave that to the women I help."
"You're ridiculous," Amber laughed, smacking Sophie with a pillow.
Amber got up to check out the fridge, leaving Sophie to her thoughts. She couldn't keep a memory from playing out in her head. It was well after their dad had left, but during a time when their mother was being a mother, giving Nanette and Sophie time to be regular sisters. Sophie figured she was five or six, making Nanette ten or so. They had been playing outside all day, beneath the trees in the park behind the condo where they lived. They had their two favorite dolls and had been playing a fairy pretend game. Throughout the game, an evil fairy hunter had been attempting to capture them and eventually managed to capture Sophie. Sophie had thrust her baby into her sister's arms before being drug away but the evil hunter.
Later that night, the two girls were laying in bed talking. Nanette was rubbing her hand up and down Sophie's back, helping her fall asleep.
"Thank you for taking care of Annie when the hunter got me," Sophie whispered.
"You're welcome. That's why it's good to have a sister, we will always take care of each other, and someday, even our babies," Nanette told her, giving Sophie a kiss on her head.
"If I have a baby, you can take care of it," Sophie told her sister, dozing off.
Remembering the weak promise broke Sophie's heart. She tried to assure herself, her niece and nephew were safer with their grandmother. She knew nothing of how to be a mother, that was what Nanette did. Sophie failed at being a daughter and a sister, she couldn't imagine succeeding at being anybody's mother. Still, she wondered what Nanette would have wanted for her children.
She carried a mixture of guilt, remorse and general sadness with her to the airport. Amber walked her as far as she could, gave Sophie a hug and reminded her to do something sordid for the both of them. Sophie managed a weak laugh and boarded the airplane. She immediately swallowed a couple of anxiety pills. Flying had never appealed to her, much less over an ocean, much, much less the same ocean her sister had died in. Before long, she had fallen fast asleep.