"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asked.
"Uh, no. But I can't be held responsible for what happens next. So, I have to get out of the water."
"Is something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?" he asked when I turned around. I faced him again and looked deep into his green eyes as I made my way over to him. Such a gentle soul and a perfect heart.
I cupped his cheek, tilted my head, and kissed him. The more we kissed, the closer he pulled me to him. His hands slipped from my waist to my lower back. But it wasn't enough for him. He wanted to be in control. And for the first time, I let him.
He took my face in his hands, allowing me to let my hands roam all over his body. I love the feeling of him shivering underneath my fingertips.
If only he knew what he was doing to me. How he makes me feel. How I want to be with him all the time. How I can never stop thinking about him. He's the one. I can feel it.
Am I ready?
Am I ready to do this?
Am I ready to give him all of me?
But, I will have no idea what to do... How will I know if he would be satisfied with me? Will he leave me after we're done? I want to make him feel the way he makes me feel. Loved. Cherished. Cared for. Safe.
"Let's go home," I whispered in his ear.
"Are you sure you want to? I mean we can still stay for a while or go to get ice cream."
"No... Just home. Just you," I said. He had a worried and confused look on his face like he didn't know what to say next. It made me nervous.
We got out of the water, hand in hand, and packed up everything. The warm sand beneath my feet started to burn my feet. "Feet burning?" he asked. How the hell did he know? I'm not going to let him carry me all the way to the car while he should carry the basket.
Besides, I'm carrying our chairs and towels. Trevor didn't even bother to put on a shirt. I mean why should he. I love showing him off. Rubbing him in other women's faces. Letting them see what they can't have.
He's mine and I'm his.
When we got to the car, we put everything in and got inside. He started the engine and revved away. He really knows how to make an entrance and an exit. It's so hot.
As we drove, I let myself get lost in the wind that was blowing through my hair. I closed my eyes and saw myself standing next to Trevor, side by side, ready to take on the world. Maybe one day, we will.
When we got to the apartment, I started getting really nervous about what was going to happen. He closed the apartment door and walked to the kitchen. I started unpacking everything and putting some of the things back in the fridge.
It's like he read my mind...
He slowly made his way over to me with my back facing his front. His hands automatically made their way to my hips and his lips onto my shoulders to my neck.
His warm breath on my skin sent a shockwave through my spine, making me weak. I couldn't take it anymore and rushed around to face him as I pulled him down for a very passionate and long kiss.
He picked me up and placed me on the counter. It's like we used to do this. Like practice when my legs wrapped around his torso. He was still shirtless, making me hotter. His beautiful, caramel skin rubbing against mine felt like a way to heaven.
I need him more. I craved him more. I couldn't take the slowness of the kisses anymore. His hands roaming all over my back and then his fingertips torturing my arms as they glide up and down.
I could feel my heart pumping faster... Louder... No longer in a rhythm.
But Trevor and I... We were in sync with each other.
"Trevor," I said between kisses, like a kid mumbling with a mouth full of food. He pulled away from my lips and looked into my eyes.
"I want to... I'm ready..." I said, sounding hesitant. I wanted to get rid of the fear and doubt that keeps me from wanting this. Am I just hormonal?
He had a small smile on the corner of his lips. It made me happy knowing that I could make him smile like that. I've never seen him smile like that to another woman. I might be the first, just like he will be my first.
He kissed me again, picking me up from the counter and walking both of us up the stairs and into his bedroom. I really wanted this, but not when we were still covered in sand.
He put me down again and just looked at me. I gave him a sassy smile and a quick flash of my brows before taking off the loose shirt I had on over my bikini. This made him smile even more.
"What are you smiling about?" I asked.
"Just about the beauty in front of me," he answered shyly. His words sent instant heat to my cheeks. I reached out for his hand and led him to the bathroom, putting on the showers.
Turning my back on him, I looked at him through the mirror and said, "Do you mind?"
He slightly shook his head and reached for my bikini straps on my back. He glided the straps off my shoulders with his fingers, making me moan. Shit! I did not mean for that to happen... Is this normal?
Then he did the same with the bottom part of the bikini. He took off his swimming shorts and took my hand as he led me into the shower.
Never once did he break eye contact with me. He reached for the sponge he bought specially for me, covered it with body wash making it foam before washing my back. He was so gentle. Was he still afraid of hurting me?
"Are you sure? I don't want to push you," he whispered in my ear.
"You're not pushing me. I want you to," I whispered back breathlessly.
He placed a gentle and comforting kiss on the crook of my neck, making me lean in more to the touch of his lips on my skin. I'll never be able to get used to this...
The sponge reached my chest and then stopped. Why is he stopping?
He didn't want to... Maybe I'm the one pushing him. Maybe he needs a little reassurance. I put my hand on his and slid them over my breasts. He was so tense up behind me. Maybe we shouldn't do this.
Maybe both of us aren't ready. But why do I feel so sure?
Letting go of his hand, he got used to me. As he continued to wash me, he stopped yet again... Right above the most intimate part of myself. "I can't do it," he whispered in my ear.
"I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
"You're not, Trevor. I want you to be comfortable. If this is too much for you, then we can stop," I said. I turned around and placed my palms on his chest.
"You have no idea how you make me feel," he said and kissed me. If only he knew what he does to me. He makes me feel things I never allowed myself to feel before. Every time I'm close to him, I feel something tightening in my stomach. When I hear his breathing as a whisper to my ear, following with a hot breath on my neck, I feel like kissing him and giving all of me to him.
But something was holding me back. What will happen after I have given him my virginity? Will he leave me like the rest of the boys in the world?
Trevor isn't like most guys and not all the guys in the world are like that. He stayed with you this long. He won't leave you. But be sure that you want to do this. Ask your heart…
I was ready to do this. And I wanted him to do it. We were ready.