"Uh, I have to take a shower and get dressed. I have to leave in an hour," I said, getting out my shirt and walking to the bathroom. His eyes were fixed on me. Well, my body. Can't he look into my eyes?
"Trevor?" Where the hell is he? Is he even listening to me?
"Yeah," he said softly like he's been holding his breath and then snapped back to reality and looked at me.
"Yeah, ahem, sorry. What did you say?" he asked. I laughed and turned around heading to the bathroom. I closed the door and then he came in. "Hey?" I asked sarcastically as if asking what-the-hell-are-you-doing. "Hey," he said as if nothing happened. So casual.
"Wanna shower with me?" he asked with a naughty grin. Tempting offer...
"I have to get ready," I said pointing at the shower with my thumb. He stretched out his right arm and leaned against the wall. Stop turning me on, Trevor.
"I'll just go shower in my bathroom," he said.
"You're welcome to join me, babe," he said with a wink.
"I think I'll pass," I whispered. Shit! He heard! He wasn't supposed to! He stopped in his tracks, turned around and slowly walked over to me after shutting the door. Oh, shit! Someone help me...
"You hurt my feelings," he said with his hand pressed against his chest. Oh, such a drama king. I do feel kinda bad.
"And if you want to make it up to me, you'll shower with me?" he asked softly. His voice wasn't demanding or controlling. But kind and gentle. He brushed away a strand of hair behind my ear. What am I supposed to say? I don't want to hurt him. And I really do want to shower with him. But what if he sees something of me that he won't like? Why am I feeling so insecure with myself? Usually I'm a lot more confident. You're in love, Amabel. You're allowed to feel nervous.
"Okay. But, no looking and no touching, alright?" I asked. A small smile came across his lips. I turned around and headed to the shower. I really want to use my shower... I've never used it before...
"Okay," he said softly and followed me. When we were in the bathroom, he closed the door and tried to avoid my gaze to not make me feel uncomfortable. "I don't have a hair tie. I'll go get one," I said.
"Wait," he said and opened another drawer under the sinks. Yes, that's plural. There are two sinks next to each other in both rooms. He took out a pack of hair ties. It's really all for me. They are brand new. What is he doing to me?
"Here," he said as he handed me one. He came up behind me with another one in his hand and asked, "May I?" I looked at him in the reflection of the mirror and nodded. He took all my hair and made a high ponytail. Then, he took the hair tie from my wrist and made a messy bun. How did he learn to do that? He probably did this with other girls too...
"Where did you learn how to do it?" I asked him.
"I had a lot of free time when you weren't here. So, I was on YouTube a lot. And these tutorials kept on showing. I didn't know I even paid attention to them. I could only think about you."
My heart melts into my stomach, releasing all the butterflies. He turned on the shower and then another. Wait what? There are two shower heads in one shower... Nice!
I was so nervous about this and he could see it. He turned his back to me and pulled down his shorts. I told him that there will be no looking. And I didn't. And neither did he. I love that about him. How he respects my decisions. I just love him even more.
He looked away the moment he saw me taking off my shorts. My hands were shaking. And this stupid bra isn't helping. I was grunting. "You okay? You want me to go?" he asked.
"No, I'm struggling to get out of my, ahem, my bra," I said as I cleared my throat.
"Do you want some help?" he asked so softly. I tried again, but it was no use.
"Yes, please," I said. After a few seconds he turned around and focused his eyes on the bra. I shivered at the feeling of his touch on my spine.
"Sorry. My hands are cold," he said. But he was lying. His hands weren't cold. I guess he didn't want to make me feel self-conscious about me knowing that his touch is turning me on. I guess he is stronger than both of us.
His fingers glided from my spine to the straps and softly slided them off my shoulder. "Thanks," I said and then he turned around again and got into the shower. Fuck! I'm about to shower with Trevor Walker. I got naked in front of him. And he didn't even look. And he did it because I asked him not to. I love him so much.
His back was turned to me as I got in. My anxiety levels were shooting beyond the stars. Trevor will be the first man ever to see me naked. Literally...
I feel so stupid. I want him to face me. But then he'll look at me...
Grow up, Amabel...
Trevor loves me. And I love him. I want to show him all of me. I tapped on his shoulder and looked up at his head as he let the water fall down on him. "You can turn around if you want," I said softly.
His hand reached for mine with his pinkie and then slowly turned around. When he faced me, he swallowed. He only looked into my eyes as he took hold of my entire hand. Suddenly, he just turned around.
"Are you okay?" I asked him.
"Yeah, I need to face this way."
"Why?" I asked.
He sighed. Was he not ready to do this? Did I push him into doing this?
"Because I really want to look at you. I love you. And it's because I love you that I won't let my temptation get the best of me that will make me dishonor your choice." I felt like crying.
"Hey," I said and touched his shoulder. He suddenly looked at my hand on his shoulder. "It's okay. You can look at me..."
He then turned around to face me again, but still kept his eyes locked onto mine. I cupped his cheek and said, "It's okay. You can look at me. I want you to look at me, because I love you. And because I love you, I won't let myself be your temptation."
He was so scared to look at me. He closed his eyes and then relaxed when the water hit his back. And so did I when the shower head on my side allowed water to run down my back. So warm. So soothing. So relaxing. When I took his pinkie with mine, he slowly began to open his eyes again.
"It's okay," I whispered again.
Then slowly he allowed his eyes to travel down. And I didn't feel that nervous anymore. He loves me. And I love him. When his eyes met with mine again, he was absolutely quiet.
What was he thinking? He saw something he didn't like... What the hell do I do now? I can't just run, that'll make me look like a coward...
"You're so beautiful, Bells. You are perfect... You're mine," he said and tightened his hold on my hand. I bit my lip to prevent myself from screaming in joy.
"Don't do that, though. I only have so much control," he said and took my bottom lip with his thumb.