No matter how many times I tried, I keep getting rejected. I would sometimes pass by Grace in the Adventurers Guild, but she just ignored me. It seemed that she was getting along with a new partner who also pretty high up in the leaderboards. Grace must have also blocked me on all her social media accounts since I never get any responses from my messages.
Why?
This wasn't my fault, right?
Is Grace just a psychopath or something?
It's not me that's wrong. It's her!
How could she break off our friendship over such a petty thing? We've been partners for almost three years!
So why? Why does she have to do this to me?
Please tell me. Was this my fault? Should I have said something else? Was there any way that I could have avoided all this from happening?
Fuck. The past was past, and I can't change it anymore. I just have to deal with the consequences.
Now that I had no one else to play with, I grinded Serial Slain in silence. It was weird not to have another voice in my ears. Everything just felt so...empty.
Was this loneliness? Heartbreak?
I've never felt something like this before. All my life, I had been alone, but for the first time, it was almost as if there was a cavity in the depths of my stomach, yearning to be fed.
Did I love Grace? Is that why I feel so awful?
No. I don't think I love her. But still, the gnawing pain persisted.
My only friend had left me.
Now, I'm completely and utterly alone.
With nothing else to do in my life, I just kept on playing Serial Slain. I fought and fought and fought, but I felt nothing inside whenever I completed a difficult boss. I would keep on grinding until I could craft an overpowered new weapon, but upon obtaining it, I was left feeling like a cat lost at sea.
As the days went by, everyone lived their lives all the same. Nobody cared about my hardships. It made sense because who would give two shits about a useless brat like me?
And so, I kept playing Serial Slain.
Hours upon hours of gaming.
At this point, it was my only solace in life.
Just recently, Telemachus Technologies had announced a new VR version of Serial Slain, but from the videos I saw, it was pretty scuffed. I considered buying a VR system, but it wouldn't have been worth it. For now, I'll just stick to the traditional mouse and keyboard. Although, a week after the VR was released, Telemachus Technologies announced an even greater project that will revolutionize gaming forever: a fully immersive VRMMORPG.
It was the stuff of science fiction. One could put on a helmet, and it would feel like they were inside the game itself.
Back in the day, I remembered watching an anime about people being trapped in a VR game world, and if they died in the game, they would die in real life. It was a dope concept, but the story was utter garbage. Still, the series was immensely popular, and it really sparked my imagination for a fully immersive experience in the future.
When Telemachus Technologies announced the VRMMORPG, they didn't say anything else other than the fact that they already had a significant portion of it completed. It seemed like they were developing the hardware for almost a decade now, and they have been keeping it all a secret.
Man, I'm so excited. What game will it be? Will I be able to fight monsters with my own two hands and feet?
Unfortunately, it may still be a while until the VRMMORPG gets released, so in the meantime, I'll continue doing what I always do: play Serial Slain.
At this point, playing that game had become my entire personality. I didn't do anything else, and I didn't think about anything else. Even when I was at school, I pondered different ways I could optimize my builds. Then, when I got home, I played in silent solitude.
Hm. Maybe I should join another party now. It's pretty annoying when I get matched up with trash people during dungeon raids, so maybe if I can find some high-level people, I could beat the bosses more efficiently.
The issue is that I'll need to find people that I trust. If your avatar dies in the game, all your progress will reset, including every level and item. It didn't really matter too much in the endgame since you didn't have to fight the main quest all over again (you need to have defeated the final boss if you want to challenge the endgame dungeons).
On the contrary, if you were still playing through the main quest, then you'd have to restart at the tutorial. Telemachus Technologies originally received much criticism from this mechanic, but they emphasized the point that Serial Slain was a roguelike RPG meant for hardcore gamers.
But as I said before, I need to be with trustworthy people. Whenever someone dies in the game, they drop all their stuff on the ground, and the other party members can pick it up. Usually, nice people will return your items, but if I end up joining with a bunch of scumbags, they can steal all my items, and they might refuse to give them back.
It was similar to playing survival Minecraft with a bunch of people, not that I could relate.
Of course, the easy solution to my trust problem was not to die, but I hate wasting my time on easy bosses whenever I play with people who have suboptimal or gimmicky builds. Call me a toxic gamer, but I value my precious time when it comes to Serial Slain.
Fortunately, when I typed in the public chat if any parties wanted a new member, I got an instant response from someone with the gamertag Speedwagon_BestGurl, and he told me to meet him outside of the Happy Koala tavern.
When I arrived at the designated location, Speedwagon_BestGurl introduced himself with his two other companions, Itsuki_BestGurl and Astolfo_BestGurl.
Interesting names, to say the least.
For the sake of simplicity, I'll call them Speedwagon, Itsuki, and Astolfo, respectively. From their attire, I deduced that Speedwagon was a warrior, Itsuki was a rogue, and Astolfo was an archer with a young griffin standing by as a mount.
"Ey, AtomicWorm," Speedwagon said through the proximity voice chat. "I heard that you were in the top five last season!"
"Yeah," I replied.
It was weird being called my gamertag—AtomicWorm—since Grace always called me Claudia.
After we all exchanged greetings, Speedwagon added me to the party. Soon enough, we started up the newest dungeon, the Acheron River. It was just added yesterday, following the VR announcement, and I haven't played it at all, but I did manage to watch some gameplay when my favorite streamer was playing. It was strange how dungeon fights weren't actually in deep dark dungeons anymore. At this point, they were just like normal boss battles or short raids.
Before entering the dungeon, I asked, "Are any of you guys running a healer setup?"
"No," they all said.
"I guess I'll be the healer, then."
"Thanks," Speedwagon said, "We might need the heals, but we were actually going for a speedrun record against this boss."
"Wow. Are you guys that good?"
"Well, it's more of an exploit," Astolfo replied. "You'll see when we get inside. In truth, none of us are even in the top one-hundred of the leaderboard, so we're glad to have someone of such high caliber join our party.
I may have blushed a little bit in real life. Man, who knew it was this easy to make new friends?
"Let's go in!" I exclaimed.
Just like the Dezastre, there was a short cutscene.
Us four were going down a relatively large river that cuts through a sparse jungle when suddenly, the skies turned dark. A billowing rain smacked all our faces, and the gusts created waves that erratically knocked around our vessel. Then, a massive shadow passed under our boat, and ominous music began playing. With a tremendous splash, a four-headed sea dragon burst forth, screeching in every direction. As the water dripped down its scales, it reflected a multitude of radiant rainbows that touched every nook and cranny of the river.
The monster's name was the Torbillon.
As I regained control of my character, the battle began.
"Alright," Speedwagon said. "Here's the plan. AtomicWorm, you're gonna aggro the monster's first hit. Don't worry. Our archer can throw a healing potion in case your health gets dicey. While the monster is distracted, the rest of us will spam our explosive abilities so that we can perma-stun the boss."
That was a good idea, but from the gameplay that I saw earlier, the Torbillon hit harder than a truck. I probably should have run a tank build, but luckily, as a paladin, I had my own healing skills and a decent defense stat.
"Understood," I responded.
The rogue created a platform of magical ice using specialized boots, allowing everyone else to stay back as I rowed forward.
"Come at me, you big bastard!" I screamed.
The Torbillon chomped on me, dealing an insane amount of damage.
"Yo!" I called to Astolfo, the archer. "Can you throw a potion?"
The archer ignored me, and instead focused on sending as many explosive arrows as possible. As for the warrior, he threw explosive javelins, and the rogue was launching dagger coated in dozens of debuffs.
What the hell, man?
Since the archer was preoccupied, I healed myself, but it only brought my health to about seventy-five percent.
"Keep up the aggro!" Speedwagon called.
"Got it!"
Since I was on the boat, there really wasn't much I could do other than soak hits. I wouldn't be able to move fast enough to dodge any attacks. Evidently, this was one of the few times that an aquatic mount would be overpowered.
For the Torbillon's next attack, its four heads all glowed as balls of energy formed in the mouths. Usually, explosive attacks would have stunned it by now, but it looked like everyone else will have to put in more DPS.
So, I consumed a defense boost item and braced myself for impact. With a blinding flash of light, the Torbillon sent four rays of death straight onto my character. I quickly pressed a key that would proc another healing skill, but nothing happened.
Huh? What's going on?
Wait a minute.
My health.
It's at zero.
That single attack instantly killed me.
I couldn't speak, and my jaw felt like it was touching the ground. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
There were two simple words on the screen:
[You Died]
***
I respawned in an empty room inside a lodging nearby the Adventurers Guild. My avatar had no armor, and when I checked my inventory, it was empty. There was no way for someone to save any of their items in a different place since they were all carried within one's Bottomless Bag, which served as a storage location for everything.
When I looked above my character to see the health bar, the number next to it read level one.
I lost all my gear, all my items, and all my levels.
It's all returned to nothing.
Fuck.
I pulled up a tab that showed my party members, and I saw that Speedwagon, Itsuki, and Astolfo were all still fighting the boss, as shown by their status, "In battle." After a few seconds, their status shifted to "online," meaning they must have just finished, so I sent a message to Speedwagon asking about him and the others returning all my stuff.
"Yeah, sorry about letting you die," Speedwagon said. "You see, there was this bug, where if the Torbillon killed a player with its quadruple laser attack, then it will freeze up for thirty seconds, letting us obliterate it easily. We got a record of one minute and eleven seconds!"
I sent a reply, "That's great and all, but are you gonna return my stuff yet?"
"Oh. About that. It looks like you have some really high-level weapons here and tons of maxed-out armor. You even have a Gulgoleth's Wail! I hope you don't mind if we borrow some of this."
"I'd be happy to share, but you'll return the rest, won't you?"
"I dunno. We could all use some of this OP gear. Maybe I'll give it back if you pay us. How does three-thousand bucks sound?"
"What the fuck, man! All that stuff is mine! You stole it!"
"Nah, it's not yours anymore. You died, remember?"
"You tricked me!"
"We just told you to aggro the Torbillon."
"But you knew about the bug!"
"It's your fault for not knowing such a huge exploit. Everybody was posting about it on Twitter."
I slammed my fist on my desk, rattling the keyboard and mouse.
With gritted teeth, I seethed, "You better give me back my items right now! Or else!"
"Or else, what?"
"Or else..."
I couldn't finish the sentence. There wasn't anything I could do. I could report the three of them, but Speedwagon was right in saying that all that stuff didn't belong to me anymore. Upon death, I relieved all ownership. Telemachus Technologies wouldn't be able to ban a player for doing something that abided by the game's mechanics.
Fuck.
What do I do?
It's all gone!
My life's work...down the drain!
"Welp," Speedwagon said. "If that's all you have to say, then I'll be going now. Bye!"
"Wait!"
Speedwagon disappeared from the party list. Itsuki and Astolfo followed soon after.
Once again, I was left all alone, without any friends and without a party.
I've just been swindled.
First, I lost Grace, but now, I've lost everything that I worked for. Since my childhood, I'd been playing Serial Slain, working my way up the leaderboards until I reached the top five. You don't know how happy I was when I finished the season at such a high ranking. I've managed to fight hundreds of different bosses, and I've crafted even more armor and weapons. I've collected some of the game's rarest items that took dozens of hours just to get. Maybe I was addicted to the game, but nothing else gave me as much joy as sitting down next to my keyboard and mouse and playing for hours.
Serial Slain was my life's work. It was the only thing that I looked forward to. It was my solace. My warmth.
Without a sun, what is a planet to do but freeze over and die?
It's the end.
It's all over.
I sat on my chair in shock—a broken man.
Everything's useless.
There's no point anymore.
***
And so, those are the events that led me to stand over the bridge. It took a while to recount the whole story, but I hope you understand everything now.
I didn't know the name of this bridge, but it was high enough that I would most likely die from impacting the water below. If I didn't die, then I would surely drown. It would be painful, but it was a small price to pay for salvation.
Still, I was undecided. I'll let you help me. Should I die? Or should I live?
Once again, I ask: does your life have meaning? Have you given anything back to the world after spending your whole life taking things from others? Or maybe you're just some hollow shell drifting through time—a non-player character.
Indeed, that was me—a simple NPC. With no purpose and no will of my own, I was nothing but a marionette bound by steel strings.
So, do you have an answer for me yet?
Life or death?
Heh. What's the point in asking you all of this? You don't have any free will, either. You can't control my actions.
My actions are for myself to decide.
And so, with a deep breath, I climbed the railing. The fresh air expanded my lungs, bringing in a soothing bliss that could grant me pleasure for the rest of my life.
All around me, I could hear the roaring cars, with their pitches fluctuating due to the Doppler effect.
Nobody stopped me.
Nobody cared about me.
Not even myself.
As I leaned forward, I embraced the temptation of Thanatos. Soon enough, my body plummeted, racing into the night below. The empty abyss awaited me with open arms. Was it petty for me to kill myself over such seemingly trivial things? That's for you to decide. In the end, I don't care about what you think of me since I'll be dead soon enough. Once I have left this world, I would have shed all my worries away.
During the fall, my life didn't flash before my eyes. Instead, I only saw one image: me sitting under an olive tree atop a hill, looking out at a picturesque countryside city with pretty little houses scattered about, and fluttering birds that chirped an upbeat tune.
It was a beautiful final thought. How I wish I could live in such a wondrous reality.
But then, there was a deafening splash.
Everything went black.
***
The next thing I knew, I was sitting under an olive tree atop a hill, looking out at a picturesque countryside city. It was just like the image that flashed before my eyes before I died. For some reason, this view felt familiar, like I had already seen it some other time in the past. Was there a reason why I envisioned this before dying?
Oh, well. Who knows...
I got up and stretched, allowing the perfect weather to soothe my nerves. The city that stretched out below was styled with classical German architecture. Meanwhile, the surrounding woods glowed a radiant green, and the mountains in the distance stood guard like a set of stalwart knights.
Is this Heaven? Paradise? It couldn't have been Hell or Purgatory.
Maybe this was the place that I would get to spend my afterlife.
What a wondrous reality.
Just then, a female voice spoke in my head.
She said, "I'm glad I saved you before you could die from your suicide attempt. There's no need to worry; I've given you a second chance in life."