Academically she was doing ok in her first two years she had managed to maintain a strong GPA so there was that , Nkoli seemed to be catching a break until one morning when she was rushed back home she had passed out at her hostel . there began another round of endless hospital visits to new and existing hospital and stupid questions about the cuts on her legs. First stop was her family's primary care physician. On getting to All Grace Hospital DR Seyi ordered a series of blood tests after which she was treated for typhoid, malaria, low blood sugar and low blood count. Series of injections and drugs later, it was off to her eye doctor, whom then referred her to a squint specialist because her case was now almost irreparable, off they went to the specialists office where Nkoli found out that according to this doctor she was at risk of blindness and would have to use special hideous kind of glasses to prevent the squint from making her blind. The cost of the glasses? A whooping 250k on the spot father decided that Nkoli had to choose between getting a laptop for school or getting glasses .On getting home mama and papa decided it was best she got the glasses instead of a laptop. Nkoli wept. Once again she was faced with her imperfections and how frail her betraying body was , she wept for her ill luck, she wondered why she was the one to bear it all, I mean couldn't they share it, they were nine children after all, did God love her or was the problem that he trusted her too much. Damn those glasses are hideous she thought as she wept. Mama and grandma tried to give her moral support telling her how it wasn't the end of the world, how God had a plan and what not, however fathers mind was made up she was getting the glasses end of discussion that night Nkoli was too tired to even cut she just wanted out she couldn't do this anymore, Dear God may I sleep for ever, could this please be my end, you love me right?, Well I love you too so as I sleep tonight can you please call me to heaven to be with you?, She prayed through tear stained check and a runny nose before going to sleep, but as usual God chose to ignore her as she woke up the next morning to her dismay. What kind of problem was this, she wanted to die yet he let her live while those willing to live died without trying.
That morning off she went with papa back to the squint specialist after choosing a frame papa paid for the glasses which would arrive a few months later because the lenses were so special they were to be imported. While waiting on her glasses her next stop was Samaria to see her orthopedic doctor and run some tests on her legs . A few fancy expensive tests later the doctor confirms to her that she had actually been misdiagnosed; she in fact did not have juvenile arthritis rather she had patellar Alta aka high riding patella which by all indications in her case was a congenital birth defect. His recommendation since knee brace and pain management had failed was knee surgery which involved repositioning her kneecaps to reduce pain and increase stability the surgery was to be done at Igbobi hospital recovery time was about three to six months the surgery was for both legs and could either be done alternatively or simultaneously confining her to a wheelchair for the period of recovery however for immediate relief he prescribed a combination of tramadol injections and pain meds. On getting home a meeting of the elders was in order to inform them of the doctor whilst Nkoli went to bed she was overwhelmingly exhausted and beyond tears. thank God for the pain meds that suppress her mind and fears. In the opinion of her family surgery was best she could just defer a full school year and get it done at least that's what mama and papa said when they called her into their bedroom to have an encouraging talk trying to make sure she wasn't depressed.
Nkoli returned to school shortly after trying hard not to live in her head she just couldn't imagine herself on a wheelchair surely that would be her end, So she made up her mind that no matter what her family said she was never going to have the operation she would rather live in pain true to her words Nkoli managed her pain sometimes waking in tears other days crying herself to sleep of one thing she was sure pain was a very faithful friend, always there , it never left , even on days she smiled her brightest pain was there, some days her pain was like a lullaby other nights it was the monster that had her screaming God why but she persevered.
Her glasses finally arrived, they were more hideous than she anticipated but she had to wear them. The doctor told papa that it would stop the eyes from getting worse and possibly bring some improvement. Imagine her shock when a little over three months later Adora points out not only that her eyes were getting worse but that she was also getting more and more bent. So once again back at the eye clinic after running a few tests the doctor not only confirms Adora's claim but sheds more light on the reason she was bent. Oh please humor me you mean there's a medical reason why I was bent and I didn't do this to myself like my family claims?, Nkoli thought to herself according to the doctor she had ocular torticollis which was caused by the alternating exotropia it was her brains way of compensating for the eyes disability the ocular torticollis was what saved her from double vision as was seen with most patients with her diagnosis. Relief, fear and anger were some of the emotions she felt at that moment the doctor referred her to a brain specialist at LUTH for further neurological examinations and to a physiotherapist who was to treat what he diagnosed as structural scoliosis.
On getting home Nkoli was excited to inform her family what the doctor had said, especially the part about none of it being her fault and how something medically wrong was the reason she was as they so nicely put it deformed and an embarrassment and how papa had to take her for more tests to confirm.
On getting to the physiotherapist a few tests were run after which she was diagnosed with functional not structural scoliosis as her optician earlier suspected the difference? Her spine seemed curved but actually wasn't curved or something like that moreover he like her eye doctor also asked her to see a neurologist to be sure there wasn't an underlying issue with her brain
The next morning before she and papa setoff to LUTH mama called her aside to remind her that God had a plan and to remind her that in respect of how papa speaks to her he loved her and she should always see everything he says or does to be out of love. The journey to the hospital was quiet, Nkoli a prisoner in her own mind was now at the mercy of her thoughts she just couldn't understand why it had to be her but whatever, papas voice dragged her out of her head she wasn't even sure what he was saying but let's get this over with, she just wanted to be done and in bed.