Yuki-nee was in front of me. She was right in touching distance. But the moment I tried to reach her, I remembered my premonition. I couldn't be close to her. Instantly I rolled away from her, and coughed out, trying to catch my breath for a moment.
"It's dangerous to move around like that..."
"Stay right there! Don't even come close to make."
Words of hostility escaped from my mouth as I desperately tried to draw a fine line between us both. I didn't want her to be anywhere near me. I wanted her to stay away.
"Nao..."
"Why did you come here? Why? You can't let me live peacefully and neither can you let me die! Is this what your feelings boil down to?! Huh?"
I let out my ambiguous thoughts to her. There's no way I could keep quiet. I don't exactly remember what happened to me. But for a while now, I haven't been my apathetic self. I'm catching onto these so-called 'emotions' and 'feelings'. It's just driving me sick. I just wanted to keep a Low profile. Was that too much to ask of myself? Time and time again I've been dragged into these worthless ordeals that it had started to drive me insane. I've had enough. Enough of it all.
"Nao...what's wrong...Why...why are you acting like that?"
I think I snapped at this point. Or maybe, I just lent out my pent-up frustration. But keeping in mind that there was a possibility that I could hurt her, I just slowly got up on my feet with heavy breath.
"What's wrong? Why am I acting like that? Isn't this too funny, and cruel at the same time? Your boyfriend just beat the living hell out of me and sent me back to your dad to treat the blows I had taken, and just meddled his way and ruined my peaceful life. Where were you then? At the time of discharge, I was the only one who just looked aimless as to how know had picked me up. I...I was foolish enough to think that someone would at least pity my existence and pick me up. Where were you then? And now, I just wanted to make amends with her, and suddenly my heart seized. It gave out. I finally got what I wanted. And yet, I'm here. Why?... The answer is, You're here! You weren't around when I needed you and the one time I didn't need you, you just showed up! And yet you have the audacity to ask me that! My goodness! I think I can understand anguish, rage, and despair now. And it's all thanks to you! Argh!!!!"
I shouted like a mad man. I couldn't help it. I never needed this change. My days were filled with the color of gray before. That was a pleasant life. I never had any regrets. But now, they were painted in all types of abstract colors that I can't even remember who I am.
I've started to bicker around like a small kid, instead of just laying low and accepting everything as it happened. What went wrong?
For a moment, I lost sight of what really went wrong. But then I remembered the route cause of all this mess. I clearly remember him. And this time, he had done it. To think he'd pounce on me like that, it was high time that he must be put down. But was that really possible? And do I have the nerves of steel to pull that off? This time, I only care about myself.
I don't give a damn about what happens to Miku, Yuki-nee, and Sakura hereafter. I really don't. I don't care if I'm considered to be self-centered all of a sudden. That's who I was, and that's who I shall be. I'm sick and tired of this!
I looked around and saw that Yuki-nee and Sakura were terrified of me. This was the first time that I had seen them in such a state. Like I gave a damn about it now!
"Yuki-nee!"
I called out to her and was focused on her.
"Go back home. Text your boyfriend. Make love to him. Do whatever you want. Cherish him well."
"What...what do you mean by that?"
"I'm hungry, Yuki-nee!"
I looked at her with my piercing eyes. She had to know by now what I mean.
"And I wouldn't dare to even hesitate to consider you as dessert if you stand in my way. And that goes the same for anyone who stands in my way."
I opened the door and headed towards my room. Before I left the room, I remembered I had one trivial detail I had to mention.
"Oh! I almost forgot! Don't look for me. I'll be gone for a while. It may be days or maybe a couple of weeks. Just don't look for me."
I closed the door on my way out. I headed towards my room and took out my duffle bag. I grabbed a few pairs of clothes and my essential gadgets. I checked the time. It was over 7 PM. I could still make it. That's what I had in my mind. That one place. Where I could just be myself. I had texted my mother to let her know what my intentions were. She had just seen the messages and didn't reply. Nor that I would care about her opinion. It was just a formality. An obligatory step. So as to n to be bothered by them, in the time of my endeavor.
I switched off the lights, put on my hoodie, and went down the stairs.
Yuki-nee suddenly ran down the stairs, and Sakura followed her.
"Wait, where are you going?"
She tried to grab hold of me. But the moment she held me, I shrugged her away. Luckily, for her, that is, Sakura was there to grab her back.
"Where I go, and what I do..."
IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!