"So, er, what's this?" I said, looking pointedly at the stack of papers crowding my desk.
"Documents, forms, proposals, petitions... am I missing anything?" My assistant, Jennifer, said, slamming another set of paper-clipped sheets on the table.
"And I'm supposed to do what with them?"
"I don't know. Fill them in, perhaps?"
I nodded. Easier said than done. It was barely ten in the morning, and I'd already lasted through a meeting with the neighbouring town's mayor, looked over numbers with my treasurer, and now that I'd finally headed back to the study to catch a breather, nothing but a pile of paperwork awaited me.
"Being a mayor really isn't all it's cut out to be, huh?" I said, picking up the nearest stapled document and giving it a quick scan-through.
"Well, what did you expect? Super models at your beck and call? Showering in dollar bills? Being chartered around in a fucking Tesla with Elon Musk as your chauffeur?"
"Half-true. The Tesla part."
"At least you're honest."
Jennifer grabbed a swivel chair, wheeled it over, and sat down beside me, resting her elbow on her knee. Now that she was this close, it struck me that she was actually quite beautiful. Auburn shoulder-length curls, a petite face with well-defined features, coupled with a pair of sharp, intelligent eyes. I could almost overlook her horrible personality and declare her Miss World 2021.
"Stop dawdling. Every minute you waste is eating into your lunch break."
Almost.
I turned to look at the paper I'd chosen and picked up my fountain pen to fill it in. Not even halfway through, my wrist began to cramp and I started to wish I'd taken penmanship lessons more seriously. When I finally finished writing, all my muscles felt like they were burning in hellfire. I slumped into the depths of the chair and took a deep breath. One down, many more to go.
"Holy crap, you're slow." Jennifer said. "Jimuel would've breezed through this."
I laughed.
"Jimuel's just a different breed."
"Clearly." Jennifer snorted. "At this rate, it'll take you till nightfall to even make a dent in the workload."
I chuckled, picking myself up and getting started on the next document, brushing off the comment like any exemplary mayor would.
Yeah, right. As if anyone wouldn't be freaking out if they were in my position. Nightfall? My brain cells were already fucking screaming. And I had to do this till nightfall? My fingers clutching the paper trembled, as though fearing the hours of hard labour that was to come.
"Oh, come on. You're being fucking pitiful." Jennifer said, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back in her chair. "Read it."
"What?"
"Read it aloud."
I skimmed through the petition I'd picked up.
"The neighbourhood children want a new playground." I said.
"In the trash," said Jennifer instantly, "Cheeky hobgoblins. Do they think our coffers are bottomless or what?"
I fed the petition into the paper shredder, infinitely conscious that I'd just crushed the children's hopes and dreams. In this same manner, I discarded a proposal for improved healthcare, a plead for a new elderly care centre in light of the deteriorating state of the current one, and a request for the basketball court to be refurbished after the centre of the court caved in, among many others.
"I think I'm starting to understand why the state of this town is constantly worsening." I said after a while.
"Well, I shaved off most of your workload, didn't I? Be thankful." Jennifer said.
"That's true. Thanks."
"Get to work finishing the rest." she said, turning her head away.
I smiled. Maybe she wasn't that bad of a person after all.
A sharp vibration in my left thigh broke my reverie.
"Sorry. I'll go outside to take this." I said, pushing my chair back and pulling my phone out of my pocket. Jennifer nodded. I rushed out of the study, wedging the phone between my shoulder and ear and closing the door behind me.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Pete. It's me, Jimuel."
"Ah, we were just talking about you and your superhuman capabilities." I said.
"'We?' You and Jennifer?"
"Yeah."
"You're at the office right now?"
"Mhm."
"Nice. How's the job so far?"
"Well, I think I'm beginning to understand why you just upped and left. Jennifer is a fucking taskmaster, dude." I said, lowering my voice.
I heard a light chuckle from the other side of the line.
"Don't let her catch you saying that." Jimuel said. "Anyways, if you're at the office, then that's just perfect. I've got something I need to tell you. Rather, someplace. It's kind of a heirloom passed down from mayor to mayor."
"And it's in the office?"
"I suppose you could say that."
"Hm." I said, "I guess I could excuse myself for a moment."
"Great. I'll walk you through the process step-by-step, so don't worry. I mean, I would've preferred to be there in person, but I'm kind of tied up at the moment."
"The baby's doing well, I presume?"
"She just learned to crawl a couple of days ago. So, yeah, she's doing great. Should we go ahead?"
"Sure. Feed me the instructions anytime, man." I said.
I conducted a swift cursory survey of my surroundings. Outside the study, the walkways branched off in three directions, each corridor so deep that simply staring down it induced a sense of awe and intimidation. Floors were carpeted with intricately patterned berber, and urban ceiling lights hung at regular intervals. I took a deep breath.
"I'm ready."