[Trigger Warning: This chapter will mention mental illness and implied/implicit self-harming. Feel free to skip this chapter for readers who are uncomfortable or easily triggered by the topics above.]
[District Six Headquarters, Infirmary - Monday, 3:39 pm]
Adrian left for his apartment once he had Sage's assurance. She let him off immediately, seeing how blood was gushing out of the back of his head. Micheal wanted to treat his wounds, but Adrian refused. Sage was not surprised. Adrian was not a big fan of physical touch. As long as he was conscious, the chances of him letting others treat his injuries are close to 0%.
Once Sage got her painkillers, she intended to go back to her apartment in the HQ. However, Micheal stopped her.
"Sage." He called out to her before she could leave, "Bring Stephan here, will you? He was supposed to be here an hour ago for his checkup. He missed last week's. And the week before last week's... Well, you get it. Since you two are pretty close, I'm sure he will listen to you."
Sage was puzzled. Why does Stephan need checkups?
Out of curiosity (and definitely concern), she looked over her shoulder and asked, "Checkups for...?"
"Well." Micheal swallowed, "I don't think I'm in the position to say anything. After all, it's personal, isn't it?"
Throwing him a deadpan look, she waved her hand in dismissal, "Fine, keep all the secrets to yourself. I'll bring him in."
——
"...Stephan."
Stephan's eyes shot open. He was lying on a patch of fresh green grass. A gentle breeze blew by, brushing against his face. On the contrary, the blazing sun was beaming down at him, urging him to shield his eyes with a hand.
"What a beautiful day, isn't it?"
He pushed himself up and turned to the sound of the voice. It was Caleb.
Alive and well.
He had a bright red apple in one of his hands. He tossed it up and caught it with ease. He did it again and again as if he was playing with it.
Was it all a dream? Did he finally wake up from a nightmare?
"Caleb..." Stephan called out, "Am I dreaming?"
Caleb stopped, and within a fraction of a second, the atmosphere shifted completely. It was silent. The air was somehow thick and suffocating.
Caleb dipped his head as he bit into the apple.
He crunched and chewed.
Crunched and chewed.
Crunched and chewed.
Once he swallowed that piece of apple, he let out a laugh while retaining his head in that position.
"What do you think?"
Something is definitely not right.
Stephan reached out for his shoulder, "Caleb...?"
Before he could touch him, his head perked up as he smiled widely, "Of course! You are dreaming, silly!"
Stephan broke into a cold sweat.
"I'm dead." Caleb continued, "Remember?"
Blood began to pour out of his eye sockets, turning both of his retinas into a deep crimson red. His nose was bleeding as blood spurted out of his mouth. Stephan backed away from the bloodied up figure, only to meet a pool of dark thick liquid.
He whipped his head down and realised that it was blood.
Blood was everywhere. His clothes. Head. Body. Arms. Legs. They were all drenched in blood.
Shakily, Stephan brought his hands towards his face. They were covered with blood.
He could hear Caleb's voice again.
"Why didn't you save me? Why didn't you-"
Stephan jolted up from his bed.
Gasping and sweating, he darted around frantically.
"Where am I?"
"Stephan!"
That call for his name grounded him back to reality. He was in his room - In the headquarters.
Caleb was dead and had been.
Still shaking, he scooted over to the edge of his bed. His face fell into his hands as he taught himself how to breathe again-
Only to be interrupted by a loud banging on his door.
"Stephan! Are you okay?! I heard a thump!"
He recognised that voice.
It was Sage.
"Hey! Answer me if you okay! Otherwise, I'm knocking the door down."
Stephan knew she would 100% destroy the door if he remained silent. So, he responded, "Hey! Don't! I'm fine. Give me a moment."
"Oh my god! You finally answered!" Sage shouted from the outside, "I was banging for a good minute."
For some reason, that made his lips twitched up slightly, forming a small smile.
She was ridiculous.
He could not even imagine how the staff outside his room are looking at her.
"Okay! I'm coming." He stood up quickly, only to be greeted with a sharp cramp in his stomach.
He gasped and curled forward.
When was the last time he ate proper food? He could not remember. Was it yesterday? Three days ago? Or maybe a week ago?
Regardless, he could not find the appetite.
"Stephan?"
"...Yeah, I'm here." He managed out as he trudged towards the door.
He opened his door with one hand and rested his other hand on the door frame.
His stomach protested. But he doesn't care.
Sage looked a little shocked to see Stephan.
He was pale, sweaty and shaky.
"What brings you here?" He asked with a gentle (but weak) smile.
Regardless of how she sees it, he did not look okay. Something must have happened.
She caught herself observing Stephan too closely and decided to look down momentarily. She folded her arms across her chest and cleared her throat, before looking back up, "Well... Micheal wanted me to get you for your checkup."
"My checkup?" Stephan repeated.
"Yes, your checkup." She replied, "He said you missed your past checkups, so I guess it's time."
Stephan bit the inside of his cheeks for a moment as he thought about what sort of excuse he should cook up.
He turned back into his room and stared at his desk, "You see, work has been piling up lately and I haven't got much done. So, I'll go for my checkup later. Tell Micheal that." He then reached for the door knot once again and attempted to close it, "Now, that's that. See you around then."
For some reason, Sage felt that Stephan should not be alone. He did not look well enough. She did not know what is up with him, but something was up. She was sure of it.
She held on to the door and pushed back, "Alright, that's fine. I'll accompany you until you're done, and we can go together."
"No, no. You don't have to waste your time, Sage. Just tell Micheal that I'll be there in the evening." Stephan insisted as he pushed back, but Sage was clearly not backing down, "Sage. Come on. Let me get my work done."
"Yeah, I will. Just let me in."
"No, it's fine." He pushed further, but he felt weak with the ache in his stomach. He bit on his lip and gave in.
Sage pried that door wide open, and the sudden jerk of the door made Stephan slightly dizzy. He rested his head on the door frame where one of his hands was.
She noticed and went closer to him. She stooped down a little to peer at his face, "Hey, what's wrong?"
Stephan let out a peal of dry laughter, "You know, you haven't changed at all. Still rowdy as ever. Most guys don't like it when girls are too rowdy."
Sage did not smile, nor did she laughed. She knew that Stephan was playing it off as a joke so that he could get her off his ass.
Noting her silence, he adjusted his head so that he could have a better look at her. She had her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes beamed with concern. Seeing her like this made his chest tightened. She was worried.
But he doesn't deserve it. He doesn't deserve someone like Sage.
"Come on, don't look all worried now. I'm fine." He broke the silence, "There's really no way to escape, huh. I'll go for the checkup if it makes you feel better."
Her expression relaxed slightly, "Yes. It will."
——
"Micheal!" Sage barged through the door without knocking, "I've brought Stephan for his checkup."
Micheal was surprised. After being a no-show for the past few weeks, Stephan was right in front of him.
Stephan sat down on a nearby bed and stretched a little.
He looked skinnier than the last time he saw him.
"Thanks, Sage. You can leave now." Micheal said with a smile.
Sage considered it for a while but refused, "No, I want to be here."
She did not know what was going on with Stephan, but she wanted to know. She wants to help him. She did not want to leave things as it was.
"Sage. I know you want to know what is going on. But, this is still a little-"
"I don't mind. Honestly." Stephan interrupted, "It's fine, Micheal. I want Sage to know what's going on. Naomi did say that I need to talk to someone about it, right?"
Naomi is the head psychiatrist in the HQ. She is not an elite but a regular human. Nevertheless, it did not stop her from helping them.
Micheal nodded firmly, "But, only if you are ready."
"I am."
——
Frankly, he was nervous. He did not know what Sage would think of it. Will she find him insane for doing what he has done? Will she turn away from him?
He did not know.
But what he did know is that Sage was one of his closest friends.
Before she left, they spent hours talking about his crush, her fiancé issue and life in general. Both of them have their problems, but somehow they found a common ground.
They were both forced to grow up too fast.
Stephan reached for the collar of his shirt and pulled it over his head.
Underneath, scars littered all around his body.
Most were not inflicted by him, but some were.
Sage flinched at the sight of his body.
He was not looking down, but he was not looking at Sage as well. However, even without looking at her expression, he could tell that she did not expect that. Mustering a sad smile, he clocked his head slightly, "I guess you can say that a lot happened when you were gone."
"I..."
Sage did not know what to say.
For once, she felt guilty for leaving.
She knew that Stephan looked skinnier than he used to be. But she didn't think much of it. She sure in hell did not assume that this was happening.
Swallowing hard, she sat down next to him and reached for the scars on his back. Her finger traced along the discoloured skin from his shoulder blades to his lower back. As her finger hit each dent and bump, her heart sank a little lower.
At this point, Micheal decided to leave the infirmary to give them some space.
Sage's eyes fell onto his forearms.
They were covered with scars.
Cautiously, she extended her hand slowly for his arms.
However, before she did touch his wrist, he flinched away.
"Sorry." He muttered, "I'm still not used it."
He did not have to apologise. Sage understood.
"So, did you...?" She could not manage to complete her sentence.
Despite that, Stephan knew what she meant, "Yeah... I did."
Her heart ached, and for a second, she felt winded.
"I..." She uttered, "...I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry."
"Don't be silly-"
'You are dreaming, silly!'
He wanted to tell her that it was not her fault. And she should not blame herself for anything. But, the word 'silly' made him remembered the dream-
No, the nightmare he had.
He has forgotten to breathe once again.
"Stephan...?"
He was shaking. He could not hear Sage's voice. They sounded like static - White noise. He could feel the tears forming on his bottom eyelids. He wanted to say something, but he could not. No words came out. His lungs felt like they were closing in on him. And and and
"Stephan?"
Sage immediately cupped Stephan's face and pushed it to face hers, "Look at me, Stephan. I need you to breathe."
"Breathe in." Sage inhaled.
"Breathe out." She exhaled.
She then continued, "Breathe in. And out. 1. 2. 1. 2."
Looking at her lips, Stephan could somewhat make what she was saying.
Breathe.
Subconsciously, he complied.
——
Sage did not know how much time had passed. Five minutes? Fifteen minutes? Or A whole half an hour?
She did not care one bit. All she cared about was to get Stephan to breathe.
After some time, she could feel like his breathing became steadier.
Finally, he was able to manage some words out, "Sorry, I..."
"Shut up." Sage shot back, "Don't be sorry, idiot."
At this moment, Stephan, who used to be one of the squad captains among the elites, seemed so frail and small.
Although he was beginning to breathe normally, Sage retained her hands on his face and asked, "How did you get your other scars?"
Her voice was firm, and her eyes were demanding.
"They wanted information out of me, and I sure in hell was not going to give them any." Stephan then averted his eyes, "I was tortured, Sage. Burnt, beaten, whipped, cut and-."
Although Sage missed an entire chunk of what has happened in the past four years, she was able to make the correlation between 'they' to 'the hybrids'.
Sage dropped her hands to her side, "...Those fucking assholes."
She then shot up to her feet and stood in front of Stephan. She pulled him by the neck and into a hug, "I'm here now, and I'm not going to leave anymore. Everything will be okay. I swear I'll kill them."
Although Stephan did know what else to say, he felt somewhat comforted and secured. Without thinking, he allowed himself to collapse into her arms. He was just exhausted. Extremely exhausted.
Unfortunately, he still could not help but think that he did not deserve it-
Shut up.
——
Micheal could tell that something obviously happened when he was not in the room. Stephan looked extremely tired, and Sage looked like she was about to kill someone. Micheal read the room and try to finish the checkup as quickly as he could so that Stephan could get some rest and Sage could take her blood-lusting self somewhere else.
Once they were done, Sage walked Stephan backed to his room.
"You know, I'm not a kid, and I'm three years older than you. Just to clarify, you understand that, right?" Stephan said as the two of them walked side by side.
Sage, who had her arms folded across her chest, lifted one of her brows, "Yeah, so?"
She was terrifying.
"Yeah, so... You don't have to walk me back."
"Too bad, I want to."
He let out a sigh, "Geez, you-"
Suddenly, his stomach shot him a sharp cramp.
He grunted and clutched onto his abdomen.
Sage immediately stopped her track and checked on Stephan, "Hey, hey. What's wrong?"
He rubbed his middle and waved off her concerns, "I'm fine, just some gastric pains."
"Have you been eating?" Sage questioned as she narrowed her eyes, "When was your last meal?"
Stephan chuckled and looked away, "Oh, look! The weather seems nice today."
Sage was not having it.
"I asked..."
If she did not look pissed just now, she was literally flaring up right now, "When. Was. Your. Last. Meal."
She said every word with emphasis.
Honestly, he did not know when was his last meal. For the past few days or weeks, he had been living off from pots of coffee. Occasionally, he will have an energy bar.
"She going to kill me." He thought.
He laughed nervously, before quickly blurting out what he has to say in one quick sentence, "Honestlyidontknow."
Without a word, she tsked and yanked on his hand to pull him along.