Do you ever have those moments in life where you ask yourself "where did it all go wrong?"
Was it when Lamb accidentally shot the Bank teller? Maybe it was when the FBI showed up quicker than expected! Was it when Chimp got hit by a sniper, maybe when Jackal sped off with the loot and left us surrounded by the Bureau or is it right now with me looking down the barrel of a 12 gauge?
It's true what they say, as cheesy as it is, life does flash before your eyes. I saw everything, Getting raised by a bunch of bums, Flunking outta high school, my first robbery a 7-11 (scored $739), my first girlfriend and first time all behind a red robin, my first heist (scored $10000 after splitting even),and forming The Gang.
I forgot whose idea it was to wear animal masks, definitely wasn't me because if I chose the masks I wouldn't have to wear a ridiculous rat mask!
this was supposed to be our last job, guess it still was.Damn what a fucking life.
"Get on the fucking ground!" I tried to aim my pistol at the agent, but he was quicker. And then dark coldness.
. . .
. . .
. . .
"Oi, omea!(Hey you!)"
Huh?
"okiru!(Wake up!)"
Who's speaking that jibber jabber?
I opened my eyes to see a girl with blond hair and red eyes. She had a long white robe on. I look around me to see that I'm still at the bank with cops swarming everywhere! I See a cop running towards me and I tense up thinking he's about to tackle me, but I'm startled when he phases right through me! I look around and see them placing my body in a black bag, so I am dead! But what's the deal with this babe if I'm a ghost then how can she see me!
"Who the hell are you!?" I ask her.
"Watakushiha no megami- (I am the goddess of-)" Suddenly her face is full of confusion and she pulls out a small notebook and flips through it.
"Ahem, this wouldn't be Japan would it?" she asked nervously.
"No lady this is The U.S, why is that important?" Now I'm getting confused too.
"You also wouldn't be an introverted virgin nobody would you?" Now she was really nervous!
"That is the opposite of how I would describe myself." Why is this important?
"OH,NOOO!!! I Messed up big time!" She fell to her knees and started crying a little.
"What, Why!?" I said embarrassed. She stood up and regained her composure. She took a deep breath.
"Look dude I'm going to be real with you. I'm a goddess that was supposed to find a candidate to reincarnate into a world of sword and sorcery that would have became a hero that would have slayed the demon lord and it just so happens that japanese introverted virgin nobodies have the highest success rate but i messed up and somehow ended up with you and i can't just throw your soul away because once a god has started talking to a human the reincarnation process has already started and can't be reversed!" She was outta breath.
"Uhhh, so what now?" That was a lot of information to process.
"I guess I'll just have to reincarnate you into a form that will keep you from affecting that world in a big way." She placed her thumb on her chin and started thinking. She glanced over to my dead body.
"Hmmm... a rat?" She whispered under her breath. Wait what?
"Oh no, no no no you better not!" She pulled out some holograms and wrote something in them!
"I'm sorry human but I can't have you interfering with that world." She said that with a sassy undertone!
"No, please anything but a rat! I'll do anything you want!" I fell to my knees to beg harder. A ring of light surrounded me and a portal of light appeared under my feet! Luckily I was able to hang on to the edge.
"You can't do this to me! I swear I will get my revenge! I'll end you!" I was seeing red and trying to pull myself up. She saw this and went up to me and stepped on my fingers.
"I'm sorry human but it's nothing personal." she said with a Cheerful expression.
She kicked me off the ledge and I fell into the light.