Generation ZEDD: Experimentation

Chapter One:

Gemini is one of the thirteen constellations of the Zodiac. It's visible between latitudes 90 and negative 60 degrees and is best seen in February, preferably at 9:00 PM. Named stars included in the constellation are Castor, Pollux, Alhena, Wasat, Mebsuta, Mekbuda, Propus, Tejat Posterior, and Alzirr. The constellation itself comes from the story of the Greek twins Castor and Pollux; the Dioscuri. Castor was only a mortal, while Pollux was the son of Zeus. The smallest differences cause the greatest flaws.

They were warriors. Heroes.

But when you think you're seeing double, don't forget whose side you're on.

Once upon a time, there was humanity. Well… maybe. Or maybe I'm just being edgy because I barely got any sleep last night. Anyways, I guess the point I'm trying to make is that we don't actually know if there's still people outside, or if they're all Zeros, or if there's nothing left. The Bunker has only been up for about two generations, and I should know, because the new generations have only been called one thing; The Generation ZEDD.

Me. My sisters. My best friend. My peers. All a part of what's left.

I look up as Gray sits across from me, dropping his tray on the table, interrupting my train of thought. Our parents were the heroes—there's that word again—but everything's changed since then. Half the people in here now wouldn't even bat an eye to save the world. But I suppose, in here, what need would they have for it?

He nods to me, chewing on his sandwich.

"Whatcha' thinkin about?" He says, a piece of turkey flying from his lip. I scrunch up my nose, looking at where it landed on his tray before I raise my gaze back to his.

"What are you, five?" I ask, then laugh when he reaches across the table to swat at my arm. "Zeros, and anything before all this."

"Dude. Depressing." He says, going back to his sandwich. I grin.

"Devastation is a pastime." I say. He nods with a grin and swallows. He gestures to my tray before crossing his arms on the table.

"Do you want the rest of my sandwich?" He asks. I look down at my tray, though I already know all it holds is an apple and a poor excuse for toast. I shake my head, poking carelessly at the half slice of buttered toast. I pocket the apple and push the tray to the side.

"Nah, I'm not hungry anyway." Gray looks back at me, almost disappointed. "I'll be fine." I wait for him to finish, feeling a twinge of guilt as he leaves the rest of his food untouched, then we stand and drop our trays at the front of the cafeteria.

"It doesn't make sense that they cut rations," He says—nevermind either of us even finished our share, I suppose he's just trying to make me feel better—as we walk. "So what there's five of you. The Bunker isn't even at full capacity." I shrug.

"I don't even know why my Mom had any more kids," I remark. "But y'know Tink, she says it's 'Capitalist Propaganda'." I say. Gray barks out a laugh.

"You know she's right though," He says. I roll my eyes, both of us slowing our pace as we reach a forked hallway.

"Don't encourage her. God knows how she's seems to attract anyone with two balls and half a brain."

"It's because she's hot," Gray replies with an easy grin.

"Ew no! She's like sixteen!" I exclaim, laughing as Gray dodges my punch.

"Bye!" He calls with a lazy wave.

I watch as he jogs down the hall, only beginning to turn away after he disappears from view. I walk straight, stuffing my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I keep my eyes trained on the ground. On all the same tiled floors.

All the same white walls.

All the same fluorescent lights.

All the same vaulted ceilings.

My thoughts wallow distantly as I walk. I look up to the wall. It's bland and pale; too much like its inhabitants. I pull my key from my pocket as I jog the inclined ramp to the first floor of apartments. Most apartments come with a maximum of three keys, I carry one on me, then Juliette and Kate swap with theirs. The third stays with our Mom. I move to the left side of the hall, standing in front of the fourth door. I look down and to the right, seeing a pair of small pink shoes. I shift my gaze to meet the eyes of my neighbour and childhood friend, Melissa, she smiles politely at me, and I give her a reciprocated nod. I almost open my mouth to say something like 'How's it going?', but instead, there's a small croak at the back of my throat. Melissa stops in her doorway, her face still and eyes wide at my croak.

"Are you okay?" She asks me, and I nod feebly, my hand gripping the doorknob as I pull it open. She lingers. "Okay then." She waivers, gives me a small wave, and steps into her apartment. I groan once she's out of view, my face flushed red as I step into the apartment, kicking the door closed behind me. I stalk towards the surplus of laughter from the kitchen. I turn the corner, crossing my arms as I see the three of them gathered around the kitchen island. Juliette and Kate on either side, and Artemis sitting criss crossed on the counter. Juliette holds a bright smile, and Artemis' shoulders are bouncing with laughter. Kate raises her eyebrows over the thick rims of her glasses with a smirk. Then the three of them make a croaking nose, Juliette even bangs on her chest, and my face burns again.

"I hate each of you," I say, and they burst out laughing again.

"Let them have their fun," My Mother chuckles as she passes the kitchen, stray blonde curls framing her face. She kisses my cheek before she goes to take her pills. I sink into her touch as she kisses me and watch how she moves towards the sink.

"How's your knee?" I ask. She shrugs with a slight grimace, filling a glass with water.

"It's been worse," She says, tipping her water glass as she drops the pill onto her tongue. She swallows and waves her hand at Artemis. "Off the counter." She says and Artemis pouts, sliding off. I wink to her and pull the apple from my sweatshirt pocket as Mom walks back to her room. Artemis brightens as I toss it to her. She leans against the island and stands beside Kate, sandwiching herself between her and Juliette. The three of them are carbon copies of my Mother. Oval faces, petite noses, and brown eyes. Except for Artemis' hair. Her's is brown like mine and Dads, only he died when she was about eight.

Out of my sisters, I remember the most about him; being the oldest, and I think it had something to do with me being the only boy out of my family. The biggest thing I remember was when he died. He'd had cancer for two years, and we were in the medbay. My Mom had taken my sisters out to get something for lunch, and my Dad started coughing. Being the only one in the room, and only thirteen, I didn't know what to do, but my Dad grabbed onto my arm, pulling me down close to the bed.

'Oscar,' He had said. 'I'm dying.' I remember shaking my head. Him telling me he was tired. Me telling him that he had to keep fighting. He'd shaken his head with a teary smile after that.

'Oscar, just because I'm dying doesn't mean I'm gone forever,' He said. 'You'll remember me. So will your sisters. And your Mother. And one day we'll all see each other again.' I'd shaken my head again. Saying "I don't want to."

But I didn't have a choice in the matter, and I don't have a choice about my Mom's arthritis. And I definitely don't have a choice about the Zeros.

I mirror Artemis, leaning beside Juliette. Artemis rolls the apple to Kate.

"How's her knee."

"Getting worse," Kate says, taking a bite out of the apple before handing it back to Artemis.

"But she'd never say anything," Juliette adds.

"Then we'll get her more pills,"

"She barely gets anything for rations as is, if she applied for more they'd just cut hers down again."

"I'm nineteen, they can cut mine." I say. There's no discourse. Kate is shaking her head, thick blond curls brushing her shoulders. She opens her mouth.

"It's 'Capitalist Propaganda'." We chorus, and Juliette giggles. Kate just rolls her eyes. We sit in a comfortable silence, Artemis giving the apple to Juliette to finish. I watch her eat. She narrows her eyes after a minute or two.

"Whatcha staring at?" She asks. I shrug.

"It's just the funniest thing," I ponder, crossing my arms on the island. "Just the way you looked just now, really reminded me of this book I read last year. Something about trolls—" I'm cut off when Juliette throws the apple at me. Artemis giggles.

"I hate you," Juliette says. I grin.

"See you guys at breakfast." I say, pushing myself away from the island, and I go to bed for the night.

I often dream of a dark haired girl. One who speaks in Latin and sings in Greek. That would be my Perfect Life. It's something I bring up with Juliette a lot of the time. We really started doing it after Dad died. Then again, this Perfect Life was imagined a few decades back in time, because for some reason I'd fantasized historical fiction for two years.

I'd found Juliette in her room, she was crying and my Mom was already asleep with Kate and Artemis, and since my Dad was… well, dead… I was the only one there. All I did was stand in the doorway at first, Juliette and I staring at each other while she cried. She sniffed.

'What do you want?' She asked, and I faltered. I didn't know what I was doing, just that I was the only one for her.

'I just thought I'd come see how you were doing,' I said, and Juliette had sniffed again. 'Are you okay?' I asked. She wiped at her face, having been crying. She shrugged.

'No,' She said, and she was crying again. 'It was perfect. Why can't everything just go back to what it used to be?' She choked, and I grimaced. I remember shrugging again.

'Nothing's perfect,' I told her, but that hadn't seemed to make her feel better. She sniffed.

'That's stupid,' She said, and I smiled a bit.

'Yeah… but y'know,' I said. 'If there was such a thing as a perfect life, I'd probably be six foot and have a girlfriend.' Juliette had chuckled.

'That would never happen,' She said, which made me smile too.

'You give it a try,' I remember telling her, and she had. Since then, it became a thing of ours.

A Perfect Life would be one where we wouldn't be in the Bunker. Where I could actually see the stars and point out constellations instead of memorizing them from books and drawings.

Juliette tells me hers would be she and her future wife sitting on the porch of a white farmhouse.

I think there's one thing that remains a constant between us though; in both our Perfect Life's, we wouldn't be the Generation ZEDD..

Chapter Two:

I'm walking with Gray, Artemis trails behind us, and I hear her kicking up at her gymnastics bag as she skips.

"I looked like an idiot," I tell Gray plainly. He winces, but I see a hint of a smile twisted between his lips.

"Maybe it wasn't as bad as you thought?" He offers.

"Nah, it was hilarious. We could hear him croaking from the hallway." Artemis pipes up from behind. Over my shoulder I meet her eyes with a glare; hers sparking back with petty innocence. Gray laughs.

"Shut up, Cricket." I say. She snickers. I turn back to Gray, pouting sourly.

"Sorry dude," He says with a faint chuckle, and my pout dissolves.

"You would've loved it," Artemis says to Gray. He laughs again. We turn around the corner, the Bunkers gymnasium a few feet ahead. I look down beside me as Artemis' hoodie brushes my sleeve. Another girl comes down the hallway towards us and Artemis beams. She runs over, catching the girl at the door.

"Bye!" She calls over her shoulder. I wave, watching Artemis until she disappears into the gymnasium.

"You know what that reminds me of?" Gray asks, sighing absently.

"Elijah Naomi Grayson, I swear I will murder you in this hallway."

"That time in Grade Eleven when we left your house and you were singing along to some old station in the highest pitch I've ever heard, and Melissa and all her friends saw." Gray says in a rush, already quickening his pace.

"Gray!" I grab for him as he starts running, a cheeky laugh emitting down the hall. I sprint to catch him, jumping on his back and throwing us both into the wall of the Bunker, earning me some gratification from the groan Gray expels. I laugh as he pushes me to the other side of the hall and we continue walking. When we turn around the corner I nudge his arm, nodding into the main hall.

"I need to grab a request form," I tell him. Something flickers in his eye, something I can't explain, but he nods and walks still alongside me. I walk to the counter and stand in front of the little glass window. A member of the Council comes around into the window a few moments later. A little woman with a knot of brown hair and long eyelashes. She smiles warmly to me, she's seen me before.

"Hi Oscar, Elijah," She smiles, nodding to Gray and I. I smile back.

"Hi Mrs. White,"

"What can I do for you boys?" She asks.

"I need an order form," I say, and when she nods, reaching for one of the paper slips piled next to the window, I fear for a minute she's going to write my Mothers name. "Under my name." I add quickly, and she glances up at me, hand poised above the dotted line on the paper slip, her fingers curled around a pen.

"Are you sure?" She asks. "Certain items require an additional collateral." She knows what I'm asking for, and I guess that means she knows she'll have to cut my rations. Again.

"Oscar," Gray says, grabbing at my arm. I shake him off.

"Yes."

"Do you have valid identification ensuring you're over eighteen?" She asks, and I nod, pulling my IC out of the front pocket of my jeans. I hold it against the window to show her. After the outbreak, things like driver's licenses and passports were discontinued, at least in the bunker, because we literally had nowhere to go. Now we just have Identification Cards that have some basic information like hair color, eye color, name, and date of birth.

"Yes." I say, and she nods, bowing her head as she writes my name on the dotted line. I put my card back in my pocket.

"What are you applying for?" She asks. I swallow.

"Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs." Her gaze flickers to mine again before she puts it down in the first slot on the form.

"How much?"

"Six months worth." I tap my fingers against the top of the counter, call it a nervous habit.

"That takes away five percent of your rations," She says. I swallow, Gray trying to pull on my arm. I'm at 30% right now, the lowest out of all my sisters, and definitely lower than my Moms, but I nod. And anyways, no one has a 100% of their rations anyways, most people have 85% percent average. Basically, having more than two kids limits a families rations by about ten percent for each additional kid, and people with more respected careers like doctors or teachers get extra rations. Even though the Bunker isn't at full capacity, it doesn't change the fact that the bunkers founders basically preached capitalism, even if have of them are dead. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She asks. I nod.

"Yes." She purses her lips, but stamps the form anyways. "Sign here please." I do and I slide it back to her.

"Thank you," I say with a small nod and leave the main hall. We reach the hallway when Gray puts a hand on my shoulder and turns me to face him.

"What the hell?" He asks, his tone reflecting obvious distaste for my actions.

"My Mom needs more pills," I say poorly.

"Oscar you're gonna end up starving yourself." Gray says, concern reflecting in his eyes as he stares at me. There's a small beat of silence. Gray sighs, his shoulders dropping, and clasps my shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me your Mom was getting worse?" He asks me, and I feel a pang of guilt.

"Because I knew you'd try and register for the pills yourself," I tell him.

"You're damn right I would!" He snaps, and his eyes soften again. "Someone's gotta look after of you."

I smirk, pushing his hand off my shoulder. "Aren't I lucky to have you, then?" I ask, my voice dripping with sarcasm. He matches my grin with one of his own.

"Of course you are," He says and I snort. "I'm a blessing in everyone's life. Consider me your saviour, if you will." He grins cheekily and we start walking again. "Seriously though, man, I'm here for you. Whatever you need." He says. I smile with a nod.

"Same here."

After I split with Gray, Artemis still isn't done gymnastics, and regarding that, she can get home by herself, I move into the Bunkers library. I show the librarian my IC and move around the aisles between bookshelves. I pick out one I've already read, but it's one of my Moms favourites, so I move through the aisles again before I find a table and sit.

I'm maybe thirty pages in when a wad of paper hits my forehead. I scrunch my face up as it hits off my head and drops onto my page. I look up, seeing a red lipped smirk waving to me a few tables away. I stand and roll my eyes as she chuckles, closing my book and putting it on a stand on my way over to her.

"Nice to see you too, Tink," I say, sitting across from her. She grins.

"Oh hush, you love me," Kate replies cheekily.

"Only 'cause Mom tells me to." I say easily and her jaw drops into an open smirk.

"You're a dick," She says. I laugh, crossing my arms and leaning forward on the table, frowning mildly when I see the material she's bent over.

"What are you looking at?" I ask. Usually, Tink's drowned herself in history books and Shakespeare. She rolls her eyes.

"Stupid physics," She mutters, taking off her black rimmed glasses to rub her eyes. I chuckle.

"Want some help?" I ask. She puts her glasses back on, blinking.

"Nah, it's okay. It's actually not that boring,"

"Says the historian."

"Says the historian," She mocks, her voice squeaky and high, then laughs loudly as I match her expression with one of mock horror. "But I'm serious. Seeing how things work, I don't know, it kind of made me think about Zeros." I glance beside her.

"Is that why you also have an open book on neuroscience beside you?"

"Obviously," She says, as if it's the most normal thing in the world. "It's really interesting, I wish we knew more about it." I raise an eyebrow.

"You mean other than the fact that we already know everything?"

"We don't know everything though—that's the point. All the public was given was a formal statement, and all we've gotten since then is magazines and journals and government interviews," Kate argues. "There's always more out there, you just have to be willing to find it." I consider her argument for a second before I nod to the walls of the Bunker.

"Do you think that's true?" I ask. "About there being more 'out there'?"

"Of course I do." She says defiantly. "Don't you?"

"I don't know," I answer. "And what are the odds we'll ever actually find out?" I ask.

"But don't you want to know?" Kate asks again, prodding. I look away from the wall, wondering for a moment. Would I?

Know about new environments, new temperatures, new threats, and new possibilities? I look at her, wondering if my gaze has given away the answer.

"I don't know," I echo.

Chapter Three:

"Oscar?" I look up from the side of my bed. Juliette stands in the doorway of my room, her blonde curls a frizzy mess as they crowd her shoulder. I turn to the side.

"I'll call you back," I say into my phone and hang up, tossing it onto my pillow, then I look back to Juliette. "What's up Jules?" I ask. She nods into the hall.

"Mom wants you to take the laundry down," She says. I shake my head.

"BS—laundry's your chore." Juliette rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.

"Yeah, but I did the kitchen the last two nights in a row," She counters, her eyes staring back at mine. I sigh, giving in after a moments hesitation.

"Fine."

I'm getting back from the laundry when I see Melissa coming up the hall beside me, stopping in front of her door.

"Hi, Melissa," I say, easing into a smile. She smiles at me, red hair cut to her shoulders.

"Hey, Oscar," She replies, looking down to scan her key. I do the same and try and push the door open. It doesn't budge. I frown. Damn. "Everything okay?" She asks. I look to her quickly.

"Yeah, totally," I say, crossing my arms and half leaning against the door. I nudge at it with my shoulder, hoping I'm inconspicuous enough. Melissa doesn't seem to buy it, but she is smiling, which I count as a victory.

"Then why haven't you gone inside?" She asks. I lean fully against the jammed door, seeing no harm in it. I'll just wait until she leaves and throw my body against it. I cringe at the faint creak, but it subsides itself.

"Just chilling," I respond. She bites her bottom lip as she turns to push open her own door. "So, you doing anything later—" The door opens suddenly and I fall forward into the hallway. I stumble and half catch myself before making a complete fool of myself. Too late. Melissa laughs.

"See you tomorrow, Oscar." She says, and that's that.

I'm lounged across Gray's bed a few hours later. He's spinning in his chair picking something out of his teeth.

"I finally got that piece of broccoli out from behind my tooth," He says.

"Dude, gross," I mutter. He cocks an eyebrow when I glance sideways at him.

"Hell yeah it is." I pretend to gag. "Oh really? Would you rather me tell you I had a sex dream about you?" I turn, propping myself up on my elbow to look at him skeptically.

"Did you?" I ask, and he grins.

"Nah," He chuckles.

"'Cause you know, we support the gays,"

"Pro-homo," Gray agrees, reaching into his desk for a magazine. "So why'd you hang up on me earlier?" I roll my eyes, rolling up to sit against the bed.

"Juliette worming her way out of laundry." A shrill alarm starts blaring and I bolt upright, looking to the ceiling frantically. The lights blink on and off, not in their usual white but flashing red in time intervals that match the alarm.

"What is that?!" Gray shouts.

"I don't know!" I yell back and we stand, opening the door to his room. He stops to talk with his Dad in the kitchen and I go to open the door into the hallway. Gray's neighbours are doing the same, one woman rocking a crying child in her doorway. "Gray!" I call. He looks to me. "I'm gonna go find my sisters!" I tell him and when he nods, I leave the door open because everyone else has and I join the swarm of people.

I'm craning my neck as I look over the heads of those who fill the hall with me. Everyone is yelling and reaching for friends and loved ones. I'm looking around wildly for anyone. Artemis, Kate, Juliette. Any one of them. I finally see Artemis as I reach the main hall. People have overcrowded the standard cafeteria tables that have been set around the room, and the little windows for Council consultation are barely even visible. Artemis stands on one of the tables, her brown curls turning with her head.

"Artemis!" I call over the roar of the crowd and alarm, and luckily she perks, turning her head to spot me.

"Oscar!" She yells back, jumping off the table and running through a thin part in the crowd. I pull her close into my side to keep us from separating as the crowd pushes and nudges at us. "Look!" She says a minute later, pointing. I follow her finger and my eyes widen, my arm dragging Artemis close behind me as I push my way through the crowd.

"Mom," I say when we get close enough. Kate and Juliette are on either side of her, each holding one of her arms to stabilize her. She's limping, and her mouth is pressed into a tight line, I let go of Artemis and reach towards her.

"Oscar, what's going on?" She asks as the girls shift her into my arms.

"I don't know yet, Mom," I tell her, looking down at her leg. "How's your knee?" I ask. She winces.

"Really sore. I can't move like I used to," She admits. I nod.

"Yeah, okay, I promise as soon as this is over we're getting you home to bed," I say and she nods.

"Okay," She agrees, and the alarm stops. I find myself squinting in the shift from the red lights to bright white as I tilt my head towards the ceiling. A static buzz comes over the intercoms then and a second later, the Council Leader's voice echoes through them.

"Hello everyone, sorry for the delay. We have just experienced a minor breach in security. The threat has been removed and you're all welcome to continue with your normal activities." He says. As it finishes, the murmurs and yelling throughout the hall don't stop, if anything they increase, seemingly enraged with how nonchalant the whole ideal appears. I look down at my Mother, whose face is twisted in pain; her breathing is sharp, her mouth is pressed in a thin line, and her forehead creases.

"Come on, Mom," I tell her, and nod to my sisters as we leave the main hall.

"Oscar," My Mother says as I help her into bed. I don't respond, because a part of me doesn't hear her while I'm busy fussing with the sheets on her bed. She grabs onto my wrist, stopping me from coddling her, and forces my eyes to meet hers. "I need you to promise me something." My brow furrows and I lean on the edge of the bed, a handful of her quilt still bundled in my hand.

"What do you mean?" She lifts her right hand over her left, grabbing onto my hand.

"If there's another breach, and we have to leave," She says thickly, her brown eyes, though worn with age, wearing a heavy tone. "You have to take the girls. And leave me here."

"What? But—"

"No buts." She says. "Promise me." I blink once, her eyes never dropping from mine.

"I promise." I say after a beat of incredulous silence. She exhales as soon as I do, dropping my hand and laying her head on her pillow. A tear drips down her face as she does, and I lift my hand to wipe it away. Her lower lip shakes, and she presses further into the pillow, leaning into my fingertips. She opens her eyes when I move them away.

"Thank you," She says, and I bite my lip, bending to kiss her on the head before going to bed myself.

"I love you, Mom."

I leave Mom's room and go walk down the hall to mine. I see Kates light on from under the door hear multiple whispers. I knock on the door, and I hear them go silent for a minute. I sigh and knock again.

"Guys, I know you're in there," I say, and finally, Kate opens the door. Juliette and Artemis are sitting on her bed, and she sits in her desk chair. I sit on the floor and close the door behind me.

"What are you talking about?" I ask, and see them exchanging nervous glances. Juliette sighs, being the eldest of the three.

"The breach," She says and the room elapses into silence once again.

"Do you think we'll have to leave?" Artemis asks.

"Maybe," I admit, swallowing tightly as I recall my Mother, and I glance back towards Kate's closed door.

"What do you think it'd be like?" It's another minute before anyone answers.

"Hell."

Chapter Four:

I roll over in bed as my pager wakes me. I glance quickly to the alarm clock before my eyes widen.

"Stercore," I mutter, so not to let my Grandfather hear, kicking my quilt off the bed as I turn back to reach for my pager, swapping my shorts for a pair of jeans. I hold the pager between my teeth as I tie my hair, though it still hangs halfway down my back when I do. I use my shoulder to push my door open and lazily slip my feet into a pair of crocs sitting against the kitchen wall. My Grandfather sits at the table, thin reading glasses resting on the bridge on his nose and a paper in front of him as he sips on a mug of tea.

"Good morning, Amata," He says, lifting his gaze over the rim of his glasses to watch me grab a muffin and my purse. I stop within my panic to smile back at him, as flustered as I was.

"Morning," I say, dropping my pager into my hand and going around the table to quickly kiss his cheek before I speed walk down the hall. "I'm late."

"Have a good day!" He calls out to me as I open the screen door to the porch.

"You too!" I yell back as it closes behind me, paying minimal attention as I fish my keys out of my purse and jump into my Jeep. I glance over my shoulder before pulling out onto the road, and speed a little more than I usually would to get to the hospital. I park crooked and run into the hospital, meeting my chief resident in the entryway. She's tapping her foot with a smug grin. She says nothing to me as I run up to her, and then follows me into the locker room.

"You're late," She says. I nod, opening my locker. I throw my purse in and lift my sweatshirt over my head, pulling off my shirt with it.

"I know."

"You're interns have been left unsupervised for ten minutes."

"Yeah; I know that too," I tell her, changing into my scrubs. I turn to face her when I'm finished and close my locker with a cheeky smile. She rolls her eyes and steps to the side to let me pass, and I skip past her as I shuffle into my white coat.

"I don't like chasing you down every morning, Chambers!" She calls down the hall. I grin, turning and continuing to walk backwards.

"I love you too, Harris," I say and turn again in a jog, running for the elevator before it closes.

It takes me an extra seven minutes to find my interns. The four of them are sitting in the gallery of OR four, watching an ortho surgery. I clap my hands to get their attention, and feel a slight satisfaction when they jump.

"Up!" I say, turning on my heel to hear them scrambling out of their seats. "Etsi deum non in æternum vive."

I take them to the catwalk and begin assigning their roles.

"You're in neuro, you're in the ER, you're in peds, and you're in plastics," I tell them, pointing each off in a different direction before I head to oncology, not bothering to check if they go or not. I meet with the department head, Dr. Ford, at the reception desk and smile to the receptionist as I follow the doctor. He's a tall gentleman, I've been working with him since I interned. He looks behind at me as I follow him.

"How are you today, Chambers?" He asks over his shoulder, grinning when I give him a nod.

"Well sir, and yourself?" He turns and stops, smiling.

"Exemplary," He hums and I follow him again to the elevator at the back of the hall.

"Where are we going?" I ask him, stepping beside him in the elevator. The older man hands me the chart he's been carrying.

"Peds," He answers, and I glance over the chart. An eight year old girl with stage two acute leukemia.

"Are we taking out her spleen?" I ask after I skimmed the chart, passing it back to Dr. Ford, looking up at him as I do. He shakes his head as the elevator dings.

"Liver, good observation though," He corrects, looking sideways at me, and I nod, following at his heels as we step off the elevator. "In here." He points and takes me into a yellow room with flower stickers along the walls.

An eight year old girl sits on the edge of the hospital bed kicking her legs, a purple knitted blanket laid out behind her. Her parents sit on either side of her, her Mother's arm on the bed behind her. She has no hair, and has an IV coming out of her nose. She has bright blue eyes, and they meet with my brown ones when she spots us in the doorway.

"Good morning, Dr. Ford," She says, her voice sounding scratchy. He smiles at her and bends so he's face to face with her.

"Hi, Dr. Beth," He smiles, and the little girl smiles brightly. She looks up at me too.

"Hi, I'm Beth." She says to me and I smile.

"I'm Dr. Chambers," I tell her.

"She's gonna help me during your surgery, make sure I get all the right pieces out," Dr. Ford says, pulling a stool to sit in front of the bed. The little girl looks to me again.

"Dr. Ford needs the help," She tells me and I laugh suddenly. She nods, approving my reaction, and I notice the small smile her Mother gives. "In my last surgery, when he took out my lymph nodes, he forgot one and it moved to my liver."

"Hey now, that's not what happened," Dr. Ford says to her, even though he's smiling. "I checked that one—remember?—but there wasn't any cancer on it until two weeks after your surgery." He reaches forward from where he'd sat on his stool and tickles her stomach, making her squeal. I smile to her parents and take this moment to shake both their hands.

"Dr. Chambers," I introduce. The Mom seems to squint at me as I introduce myself.

"Christie, and this is my husband Mark." She says and I shake Marks hand before I smile again. Christie still looks at me, and after a moment my eyes narrow. She flushes.

"Sorry," She says, pointing to her own mouth. "Do you have an accent?" My smile breaks into a flushed grin and I clear my throat.

"I have an Italian heritage," I explain and she nods, smiling a bit shamefully.

"Well Dr. Beth," Dr. Ford says, redirecting the focus to Beth, and the little girl giggles again. "Dr. Chambers and I are gonna go now and we're gonna be back in three hours for your surgery, okay?"

"Okay," She nods and he stands. He's looking back and forth between Mark and Christie.

"And I'll just talk to the two of you outside," He says, and I see Christie bite her lip before she nods. She and Mark both stand from the bed, leaving Beth looking smaller than before on the hospital bed. "Dr. Chambers?" He asks me. I look from him, and then to Beth, who appears suddenly timid.

"I'll stay," I say, and see Beth look to me out of the corner of my eye when Dr. Ford nods.

"I'll see you shortly then," He says, and then nods to Beth. "And I'll see you for surgery." She nods and Dr. Ford closes the door when the three of them step into the hall. I sit on the bed beside Beth, and she sinks into my side under the added weight to the bed.

"So I'm guessing you want to be a doctor when you grow up," I ask her, and she nods, watching Dr. Ford and her parents.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna save other kids like me," She says. I smile fondly as I look down at her. She looks up at me, like she's caught me in an act, and I pretend not to notice Dr. Ford bringing her parents back into the room with tears on their faces.

"How are her odds?" I ask as soon as we're back in the elevator. He sighs.

"Slim to none," He replies, and I remember seeing in her chart she'd had the cancer for four years. The life expectancy with it was about five years after the initial diagnosis. I look into the hall as the doors open again.

"Besides," Dr. Ford says with a tight smile, leading for me to follow behind him. "I need you to meet my new patient." He takes me to room 106. He knocks on the doorway, leaving me to linger behind him. He's smiling as he enters the doorframe. A middle-aged black woman is sitting up in the hospital bed. She has a head full of frizzy hair, and an IV in her arm. She smiles kindly when she notices me behind Dr. Ford. She looks tired.

"Dr. Ford," The woman from the bed says hoarsely.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, stepping further into the room, allowing me to follow behind him.

"Not too bad," She says, nodding to me. "Who's this?" Dr. Ford turns, waving me closer into the room.

"This is my star resident, Dr. Eleonora Chambers," He says and I smile, leaning forward to shake her hand.

"Hi," I say.

"Hello to you too," She says.

"Dr. Chambers this is Stacy Warner, she's been a patient of mine for about three years now," Dr. Ford says.

"Really? What brings you here?" I ask. Stacy smiles painfully.

"A third grade Oligodendroglioma," She says, and then chuckles when I wince. "Don't I know."

"What's the plan of action?" I ask, looking to Dr. Ford. He and Stacy share an exchanged glance.

"I don't know yet, anything else I've tried, nothing's worked. As of now, the tumor is most of her frontal lobe. Which is why I brought you on," He says, tipping his head to me casually. "I'm assigning you full time to Stacy's case, which means that as of tomorrow you'll both be transported to neuro under the influence of Dr. Blake." He explains. "Got it?"

"Got it." I nod. He grins, then with a final nod to Stacy, he leads me out into the hallway. From the hall, he lingers, looking at her through the window, where she tries to sink into the hospital bed's mattress.

"Tell me you won't kill her?" He asks. My gaze flickers up to meet his in the windows reflection. He looks solemn, turning his head down to meet my eyes directly

"I'll do everything I can."

Chapter Five:

I meet with Dr. Ford again the next morning. He's waiting outside Stacy Warners room with another doctor, a wheelchair sitting against the wall beside them. He's younger than Dr. Ford, with a curly head of dark hair and deep blue eyes. There's a smudge on the side of his nose. Dr. Ford smiles when he sees me.

"Chambers!" He welcomes, and claps the other doctor on the back, making the man stumble forwards slightly. I smile with a nod and look quickly to the other doctor. Dr. Ford follows my gaze to the man beside him, who nods to me.

"Good morning," He says, a British accent laced into his voice. He extends his hand to me.

"British?" I ask through a smile as I shake his hand. He returns my smile.

"Italian," He replies, noting my accent as well. Dr. Ford looks to me.

"Dr. Chambers this is Dr. Blake, the neuro head I've assigned you and Stacy to," He introduces and I nod, smiling again to the man across from me. He's a bit shorter than Dr. Ford, but still tall enough to hover above me, and he's not as awkwardly slim as Dr. Ford.

"It's nice to meet you," I say, and he nods with an introductory smile.

"To you as well," He replies briskly, then nods to Dr. Ford, excusing him. The doctor pats my shoulder as he passes. I look back to Dr. Blake afterwards. "Shall we begin?" He asks me, and lets me lead him into Stacy's room. I smile to her when I step in.

"Hi Stacy," I say, picking her chart up off the side of the bed. Her vitals remained steady throughout the night. I pass the chart to Dr. Blake for him to skim over. Stacy smiles back to me.

"Dr. Chambers," She greets, coughing as she does.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her, trailing my hand along the bedrail. She shrugs meekly.

"Well you know, everyone's got their share of bumps and bruises," She jokes, nodding. "I'm fine." She assures. I smile and Dr. Blake sets her chart on the small table beside the door.

"Mrs. Warner—"

"Just Ms." Dr. Blake smiles.

"My apologies. Ms. Warner, I'm Dr. Blake, neuro department head. Dr. Fords new treatment for you has included a transfer into my specialty, where I'll be taking over your case. I assure you, I am the best this hospital can offer you." Dr. Blake says.

"Oh, the best," Stacy winks to me, a small smile on her face. "I like this one." Dr. Blake nods with a grin.

"That's what I like to hear," He says. "I'm going to have Dr. Chambers take you up for a head CT and I'll see you this afternoon." He nods again to me and leaves. I turn to Stacy.

"Are you ready?" I ask. She nods, using her hands to prop herself up into an upright seated position, exhaling slowly as she rests her head against the back wall.

"Ready as ever," She tells me and I nod, quickly reaching into the hall for the wheelchair Dr. Ford had stationed outside the door. I pull it into the room, placing it on the left side of the bed and lock the brakes. She's already set herself on the edge of the bed. I go to stand in front of her, putting my feet on the outsides of hers, and gently lift up on her waist. She mirrors my actions, placing both of her hands on either side of my waist. I nod to her, beginning to rock back and forth on my heels.

"One, two, three," I count and we lift her off the bed. I direct her hand to the arm of the wheelchair, she holds onto it at first and I look down, seeing her legs are brushing against the front of the chair. She leans forward, holding the arm rests and I help her shift into a comfortable seated position. I smile and take off the brakes, moving around behind her to push the chair.

"How long have you been a doctor?" She asks me, and a quick glance to her white knuckles on the arms of the wheelchair tells me she's anxious.

"I'm in my second year of residency," I answer her, keeping my voice level, and dropping it to be a bit softer, looking my head around the corners of the hallways as I push Stacy through, smiling to one of the nurses (Cara) while we pass through. Stacy twists her head back, her eyebrows raised.

"Is that all?" She asks incredulously, "Darling you look so young!" I laugh, and she grins, turning back around in the chair.

"Thank you," I say, scanning my key and nudging open the door to CT with my foot, holding it open as I back Stacy and I in through the doorway. Stacy smiles as I help her up to take the scan. I get her to lay down and she looks up at me as I place a cage around her head.

"Hold onto your youth, darling," She tells me, looking back to the ceiling. "Who knows? You may end up just like me."

My Grandfather and I eat corn on the cob for dinner.

"How was the hospital, Amata?" He asks as we finish saying Grace. I shrug.

"Same as usual," I answer, and take my first bite. "Mm, I got transferred to one of Dr. Bakes cases." I tell him.

"Who?" My Grandfather asks, pausing to lick his fingers.

"The neuro head. I met the woman with the tumor today and we scheduled a surgery for her in two days," I explain. My Grandfather nods, though he's never really understood surgery. "How was your day?" I ask. He nods again, continuing to eat. My Grandfather is a retired vet. He moved us to Chicago when I was nineteen for medical school.

"I went to the shelter; volunteered. I went to the hospital nursery while you were on your break; volunteered. Tried finding you afterwards but one of your interns told me you were in surgery," He says.

"Do you ever get bored?"

"Why do you think I come looking for you?" He jokes and I chuckle. "No, I went grocery shopping and cleaned the bathroom before you came home."

"No wonder the sink is shiny," I comment and he glances to me, raising a brow.

"You think it's shiny?" He echoes with a teasing smile. I nod seriously.

"Like a diamond," I say, and I smile when my Grandfather chuckles. I swallow, finishing my corn on the cob. I stand and move around the table to wash my plate and put it in the dishwasher.

"I made some Zeppoles this afternoon if you want one," My Grandfather says, coming to stand beside me at the sink. I smile, looking at him out of the corner of my eye. I stand on my tip toes as he washes his plate and kiss him on the cheek.

"Thanks Grandpa," I say, reaching into the cupboard for one of the sweets. "I love you!" I call, going down the hall to my room.

"I love you too, Amata," He says to me. I smile to myself as I close my door.

Around noon the next morning, I let Beth listen for my heartbeat and look in my ears. I glance down as my pager goes off and place my fingers on the popsicle stick she's holding on my tongue. I guide her hand out of my mouth and let her hold onto it.

"Who's that?" Beth asks, craning her neck to try and read the message on it. I smile at her.

"I don't know," I tell her, standing and picking the pager off my pants waistband. My eyes widen. "Oh no."

"Excuse me!" I shout, twisting as I push through two nurses walking in the hall. I jump into the empty elevator as doctors file out and press the button to the fourth floor. I fret nervously, wringing out my shaking hands as I watch the buttons tick on the top of the elevator. I break into a run again once the doors open and quickly turn the corner, running into Stacy's room. Five nurses are already in the room when I get there.

They've turned her on her side. She's still.

"What happened?" I ask, looking to the nurse closest to me, Cara. The one Stacy and I passed on the way to CT

"She seized," She tells me, taking the cardio board out from underneath Stacy. The other nurses lay her back down on the mattress. I let myself breathe. Then—

"Pressures dropping."

"Dr. Chambers?" Cara asks me and I look to the monitor as the beat goes flat.

"She's coding," One of the other nurses say and I look up, pressing the code button on the side of the wall.

"Get a crash cart!" I yell out to the hall, and two more nurses flood into the room, pushing the cart in front of them. I move it to the side of Stacy's bed and take hold of the paddles. I nod to the nurse doing chest compressions. I turn to Cara.

"Charge to two hundred," I tell her, turning to watch the monitor. "Clear."

The defibrillator shocks her once.

"Stercore," I swear under my breath. "Charge again. Clear."

It shocks her twice.

"What the hell is happening here?" Dr. Blake asks, entering the room.

"Grand mal, she's coded," I say, nodding again to Cara. "Three hundred."

"Charging to three hundred."

"Clear."

It shocks her a third time, and the monitor beeps. I deflate, dropping my hands and letting the paddles hang loosely in my hands before Cara takes them from me.

"Thank God." I mutter, crossing my chest in prayer. I look to Dr. Blake, who stands with his hands on his hips. He's eyeing Stacy warily. He gnaws on lip, and when he glances at me, I meet his eyes. "Dr. Blake?" I ask. He continues glancing between Stacy and I, and at one point, his gaze lands on Cara.

"Dr. Blake?" I ask again as the nurses take the crash cart back into the hall. He sighs, stepping to the side to allow them by.

"It's too dangerous," He mutters. I blanche.

"What?" He looks at me.

"The surgery. We're not doing it." He says and leaves the room.

Chapter Six:

Stacy looks heartbroken when Dr. Blake tells her, eye gaze flashing to mine as he explains it.

"You're not doing the surgery?" She whispers, her eyes landing on mine again. I look down at the floor when she asks.

"No," Dr. Blake says, sounding tearful. "At this point, I believe there are too many risks associated with the tumor, and even more if we attempt to ressect it." He tells her mournfully. My pager beeps and I look down. Stacy and Dr. Blake both look to me.

"Sorry," I mutter, checking it. "I got to go."

I meet Christie in the hall when I get to peds. She's pacing back and forth, gnawing on her fingernails. My brow knits together when I see her state, her hair is a mess and her eyes look bloodshot.

"Christie?" I ask her, and she looks up at me, eyes widening.

"I don't know what's wrong but she's freezing," She tells me and takes me into the room. Beth lays on her side, burrowed in the thin hospital blanket. She's shaking, her eyes are closed, and her skin is cold to the touch. I feel her forehead and turn to the nurse in the room.

"Can you get me a thermometer and a heated blanket?" I ask her and she nods. I turn back to look at Beth as the nurse leaves. "Hey Beth, how're you feeling?" I ask faintly.

"Cold," She whimpers. Her breathing is erratic when she answers and she draws a gasping breath before whimpering again. "My tummy hurts." I notice her curl inwards when she tells me. I look at Christie, her eyes are glassy. The nurse returns from the hallway, holding a folded blanket and a boxed thermometer.

For now I tuck the blanket snug around Beth's tiny frame, swaddling her in the small bed. I take the thermometer out of the box and swipe it across her forehead, reading 92.4°. Much lower than average.

"Beth, I'm gonna quickly look at your stitches real quick, okay sweetie?" She nods meekly.

"Okay," I pull the blankets off, and she winces, shivering more. Christie sits on the other side of the bed, cupping Beth's head and kissing her forehead, whispering soft soothing lullabies to her. I lift from the bottom of her hospital gown, examining the hooked scar across the left side of her torso. The skin beneath and around it is blotched and discoloured. The skin is swollen, pushing the stitches up from the skin. The wound itself is a mosaic of pink-red scars and pus. It's infected, and Beth whimpers again when I press against the outside skin.

I page Dr. Ford before pulling the hospital gown back down and draping the blankets over her again. I nod to the nurse that brought me the thermometer.

"Call up and prep an OR," I tell her and lift the height frames on the side of the bed. Christie grows frantic when I ask her to step off the bed, her lower lip trembling as the nurse pushes her back to lift the height frames.

"What's happening?" She asks.

"Beth has deteriorated into liver failure and she's contracted sepsis. I need to take her up to try and take out the infection," I try and explain as the nurse lifts the height frames on the beds other side and begins to take her out of the room. Christie catches my arm before I leave.

"Is she going to be okay?" She asks me, voice cracking. My mouth lingers open, looking back and forth between her and Beth, and I'm fishing for words. Eventually, I swallow and turn my gaze to hers.

"I'm going to do my best," I promise, and turn to follow Beth to the OR.

I meet Dr. Ford outside the OR afterwards. He's been watching from the scrub sink. He looks at me and I physically deflate, swallowing past the lump welling in my throat.

"There was nothing you could have done," He tells me mournfully.

"I could have done more," I murmur, leaning my hands on the edge of the sink, my guilt only multiplying when I see the nurses cover Beth's head and remove the breathing tube from her throat. "I didn't catch it fast enough."

"But you did catch it," Dr. Ford reminds me, both of us standing looking into the OR. I don't respond. He puts a hand on my shoulder. "I'll tell her parents. You get some rest." He's right, I look to the clock in the OR. Six hours. For six hours I cut, and mended, and suctioned and I still couldn't save her. She'd gone into complete liver failure. At eight years old.

I hear the door open and close and look to the now empty spot where Dr. Ford stood. The doctor leaves down the hallway and I spread my hands as I grip the edge of the sink. I let my head hang for a moment before I reach up and grab the scrub cap off my head and throw it in the disposal bin. I take my hair out of its twisted knot and let it fall all down my back. I run my hand through it as I breathe.

I don't leave until they wheel her body out of the OR.

I find myself crying as I walk down the hall. I turn the corner to see Stacy walking. She's holding the rail on the wall and she's shuffling her feet. I sniff and wipe my face once she spots me and fake a smile.

"Dr. Chambers," She nods, looking miserable.

"Hi Stacy, how are you feeling?" I ask, falling into step beside her and letting her wrap her hand around my arm instead of relying on the railing.

"Honestly?" She asks me, glancing up at me quickly. "Like shit." I nod and find myself catch a sob in my throat.

"Me too," I mutter as we walk. "I'm really sorry about your surgery."

"It just wasn't meant to be," Stacy tells me, sounding distressed. "I just have to hope there's another opportunity for me." I look at her again.

"I'm sorry." I echo. She eyes me

"Are you okay?" She asks me. "I saw you crying when you came around the corner." I exhale deeply and nod eventually, biting the edge of my tongue.

"Yeah. I lost a patient, eight years old," I tell her and reach up to wipe my eyes again. She sighs sympathetically and smiles to me.

"Oh darling, you can't save them all," She says. I look and direct us back to her room.

"It kind of comes with the job description," I joke haphazardly and help her into bed. She watches me as I help her. Before I leave the room, she calls out to me.

"We live in a world that knows no promise," She hums, and when I turn to look back at her, she's looking out the window. She turns to me. "No one's a hero, Dr. Chambers." I stop for a moment.

She's right, I realize. And I can tell she knows it from the little glint in her eye.

"Call me Eleonora."

When I go home that night, I don't sleep.

I'm sitting up in my bedroom, a standing lamp stretched from my desk to the side of my bed. There's books scattered on my bed sheet. I have a notebook in my lap and my laptop in front of me. I've been looking for alternative options for Stacy's oligodendroglioma for almost three hours.

I've looked at a lobotomy, and a lobectomy. None of which would appropriately respond with the referred chemotherapy Dr. Blake had already assigned for Stacy.

In my third hour, I take a break.

My Grandfather is sitting at the kitchen table, and I stop amid my surprise. He has a cup of coffee on the table in front of him and he's twirling a little gold pin between his fingers.

"Grandpa?" I ask, and he looks back to me over his shoulder. "What are you doing up."

"I can't sleep," He says. I pull up my chair side by side with his and cross my arms on the table, my elbow nudging his.

"What's that?" I ask him, and stifle a yawn. He glances at me sideways, his glasses perched on the end of his nose. He turns it over again and lets me see it.

"It's a pin from my time in the Carabinieri," He murmurs. I look to his eyes to see him still studying the pin, turning it over and over again.

"Is that why you can't sleep?" I ask quietly. He nods solemnly. The Carabinieri is the Italian military force. My Grandfather served for twenty years before he retired to take care of me.

"When I was working in Pianoro, there was a flood. On my own I was able to save a family of three. A Mother, Father, and their daughter. In 1994." He adds, and I look up. He nods. "You were just a baby then, and by that time, I'd been serving already seventeen years." He looks at me. "I loved your parents, and I loved you just the same." I look down at the table.

"This pin was your Mothers, passed to her from her Father," My Grandfather tells me, and hands it out to me. I take it from him and hold it between my thumb and my forefinger.

It's a circular pin, with gold wire twisted on the circular surface, roughly mirroring the Latin symbol 'ancestors'. It's an oval with three small circles and a line connecting the three that points to the top of the oval. I squint and turn the pin in my hand as I read the small engraving going around the outside the circle.

"Ignis fouet nostras," I murmur.

"The fire that fuels our daughters," My Grandfather translates. He looks to me soberly. "I'm so sorry, that she didn't get to show you this herself… I wish I could go back, everyday. Do things backwards as if it could change anything." He says and I look up, almost as though a lightbulb went off in my brain. "Eleonora?" He asks.

"Do things backwards…" I repeat, and jump out of my chair, looking frantically as I reach for my keys. "Oh my God! Grandpa, I love you—I'll be right back!"

Dr. Blake looks out of breath when he reaches Stacy's room.

"What's wrong! You paged 911!" He exclaims. I look at him, eyes sparkling and face beaming, my Grandfather's words echoing in my mind.

"I know how we can save Stacy."

Chapter Seven:

I'm sitting in Grays room. I usually come here; get away from my sisters, take a break from taking care of my Mom. I'm laying on the floor on my back, he's on his bed looking through his phone. I'm throwing a small basketball up in the air, catching it in my one hand.

"Do you think there'll be another breach? Like, where we have to leave," I ask him, tossing the ball up again.

"Why? You got a Zero fetish?" I catch the basketball and sit up, chucking it at his face. He drops his phone.

"Hey fuck off," He chuckles. I roll my eyes,

"Y'know what, if there is a breach, I'll personally make sure all the Zero dick I can find is shoved up your ass." I say, catching the basketball when he passes it back to me. He laughs.

"Sure you would," He says, and I go back to throwing the basketball.

"Do you think Zeros have sex?" He asks after a minute. I miss the basketball and it falls on my face.

"What the fuck, dude?"

"No seriously, I mean like obviously they're fucking psychotic and have like no human morals but they still have dicks,"

"What if their dick rotted off because they're a Zero,"

"Then it's just grinding. That would be so gross," Gray says.

"Yeah, so shut up," I respond, throwing and catching the ball again. Gray swings over the side of his bed and hits the side of my face. "Bitch!" I exclaim, jumping on the bed and jabbing at his side.

He rolls over, throwing me off the bed and jumps on my gut. I breathe sharply.

"Fuck," I groan, pushing him off me. He laughs, falling onto the floor beside me. Grays Mom opens the door of the bedroom to find us both on the rug that overlaps his tile floor. She sighs playfully and rolls her eyes at us.

"Your Father and I were planning to go down for dinner soon," She says. I take note of the way her eyes linger on me. Even though I'm not looking at her, I can tell she's looking at me. Gray looks to me and I curtly shake my head, but not enough for Grays Mom to actually notice. He shakes his head.

"Nah, we'll go down later or something," He says. I feel a bit guilty that Gray is ditching his parents, and his lunch to stay with me. I don't like being the one who drags his family down though, catching the eyes of everyone else when they see me with my rations compared to theirs. It just earns me pity I don't want, and pity I don't need.

After his Mom leaves, I turn to Gray.

"You can go if you want," I say. "I can leave." Gray shakes his head.

"Don't worry about it," He says, standing from the floor. Not only is Gray the only kid in his family, but his Dad is on the Council, so his family gets special extras. "Do you want a beer?" He asks me as he stands. I nod and lay back on the floor.

"Yeah," I say and go back to tossing the basketball.

My phone goes off a little while later. It's a lot crappier than Grays, but I'm the only one between my sisters who has a mobile phone. My Mother has one in the same condition as mine. I look at the contact it reads at the top of the screen. Gray nods to me, taking a sip of his beer.

"Who's that?" He asks, leaning over to read the contact name.

"My Mom," I reply and pick it up. "Hey."

"Oscar it's me," The voice on the other line says. My brow furrows and I glance to Gray.

"Jules? Where's Mom?"

"She collapsed. We're in the med-bay."

Gray and I reach the reception desk of the medbay sooner that I'd thought.

"I'm looking for my Mother? My sister said they brought her in about ten minutes ago?" I say, Gray waiting behind me. The receptionist nods.

"What's her name?"

"Abby."

"Curtain three," She points down the hall to her left. I nod, Gray thanks her, and we hurry down the hall. I count the numbers above each curtain before reaching 'three', and pull back the curtain. My Mom lays on her side. Artemis is laying on the bed with her. Kate and Juliette are occupying two of the chairs set up beside the bed. I look to each of them.

"What happened?" I ask, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Blood clot," Kate murmurs, watching Mom and Artemis sleep. "I don't know, the doctor said that she had a pulmonary embolism."

"They said it was why her knee looked so much more swollen," Juliette tells me next. I meet her eyes.

"Can they fix it?" I ask, only then realizing how pleading my voice sounds.

"They've got her on a blood thinner right now to see if it can relieve itself but we don't know yet if it's bad enough they want to take her into surgery," Juliette explains.

"Oh my God," I whisper. Gray puts a hand on my shoulder.

"She's gonna be fine, Oscar," He says. I nod.

"I know," I say, but I can't help but remember the conversation she and I had had only a few days prior.

Gray stays with us for the night. I check the time again. It's ten o'clock, and we still haven't heard from the doctor. Artemis is still curled up with my Mom. Kate is asleep in her chair. Only Jules, Gray, and I are still awake.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" Juliette asks, her tone hushed from exhaustion. I nod.

"Yeah."

"Really?"

I don't mean to hesitate when I answer her, but I find myself thinking once again to what my Mom had said if there was another breach. I swallow, and give myself a moment to look at her and Artemis, both curled up on the little hospital bed, and Kate, tucked into her chair.

"Oscar." Juliette presses. I look back to her. I nod.

"Yeah." I repeat, sounding disbelieving even to my own ears, but Juliette doesn't question it.

We all fall asleep before eleven.

Around one o'clock, I'm up again. Everyone else is still sleeping, and the doctor stands outside the curtain; I can see him through a slit in the fabric. I stand from where I've laid my arms on the side of the bed, wincing slightly as my back cracks. My neck is sore from lying sideways.

I walk around the chair Gray has passed out in and step outside.

"Dr. Russell?" I ask. The doctor turns, almost surprised to see me.

"Oscar," He responds, closing my Mothers chart. I put my hands in the pockets of my jeans, feeling uncomfortable.

"Will she need the surgery?" I ask. He shakes his head.

"As of now? No, I don't think so," He tells me, and I relax, my shoulders drooping as the tension I'd welled up settles. "But we won't know until—" He's cut off by an alarm going off. The same one that went off during the breach a few days ago. I look back into the room, everyone's woken up. My Mother looks like she's about to cry, she's holding onto Artemis. They're all looking around wildly. The red lights are flashing, and the intercom cuts in.

"Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill—I repeat this is not a drill—the Bunker has been infiltrated, a full evacuation is in order." The Council Leader's voice scratches from the speakers. I meet my Mother's eyes and she nods. I feel instantly stomach sick and turn to Gray, I've already told him what my Mother told me. Gray nods, his eyes sparking with a sudden fear as the message echoes.

"Get up," I say to Juliette and she does, Kate following suit. Gray pulls them into the hall and I go to pull Artemis out of the bed. "Come on Cricket. We've got to go." Her eyes go wide and she shakes her head.

"What about Mom?"

"The doctors are gonna take care of her, and everyone else, but come on, we have to go to the main hall." I coax her, and after what feels like a lifetime, she nods, taking my hand and pushing herself off the bed. I nod to my Mother, and I only hear her begin to sob once we're in the hallway.

We're running with other residents, towards the end of the forked hall. I hear screams before we make it and people come sprinting from around the corner, crying and screaming, running back the way we came. I wait until they've passed, until I turn the corner and see what they're running from.

At least a dozen Zero's are trudging their way down the hall.

At least a dozen undead, rotting, ghastly pale, zombies dragging their way towards us.

Chapter Eight:

"Oscar," Artemis whispers, her arm snaking around mine. I'm frozen, stuck to the floor in my fear, though somehow my muscles find their way to grab around Artemis and pull her behind me.

I'm frozen staring at the Zero closest to me. It's bent over a screaming pregnant woman, a scratch through her stomach and what looks like a bite taken out of her leg. The Zero wears almost nothing, and there's nearly no skin on its foot. From its calf to its toes, pure muscle is exposed, and I can see a glimpse of bone on her calf. Its other foot is twisted and bent ailing to the side. The same pestilential plague starts above its belly button and curves around its torso, creeping up its neck and scattering down its arm.

"Oh my God," Gray whispers and the drudge turns its head towards us. I gag as it does and stagger backwards, pulling Artemis with me and backing into Juliette. The disease is spread from its neck to the entire left side of its face, stripping away the flesh on its left nostril and the corner of its mouth. Its left eye socket is completely empty: an empty nothing staring back at me. The muscle beneath its right eye twitches.

"I'm gonna be sick," Kate mutters. I don't respond, still in an infected trance as I continue to stare. It heads tilts slightly as it stares back at me. The pregnant woman it hovers above has stopped screaming. Its remaining eye lolls to the side as I stare at it, and it's only a second before the thing staggers forward. I feel my heart beginning to race as it lurches unevenly, reaching its arms towards Artemis and letting out a shrill, inhumane screech. It catches the attention of some of the other Zeros and they turn.

I don't hesitate in hauling Artemis into my arms; her face burying itself into my shoulder, and her legs draping across my body. I turn and start sprinting, my heart pounding in my ears and the sound of Grays, Juliettes, and Kates footsteps slapping the tile behind me. I pant and pull to a halt, turning the corner as we run into Melissa and another group of teens. First her eyes widen, and I see how clearly she deflates when she realizes it's just us. She turns her head when another scream emits through the hall and grabs onto my arm.

"Oscar, there's—"

"Yeah we know," I say breathlessly "come on." We keep running, about nine of us. Gray runs beside me. I yelp as we turn the corner sharply, a Zero standing in the hall in front of us. My arms tighten around Artemis and before I can squeeze my eyes shut I'm staring shell-shocked as Gray lifts his leg and kicks the Zero into an open apartment. We're still for a moment, then Gray nods back to me, breaking into a jog and allowing me to sprint to catch up.

"Holy shit, dude!" I exclaim as we keep running. After turning another corner we reach one of the exits. I stop, freezing when the door is wide open in front of us. My arms sag from holding Artemis and my jaw drops. No one behind me moves either. The door is open.

And we're about to go outside.

It's dark. A grisly gray fog is protruded throughout the atmosphere. Ahead of us, the pavement is cracked and uneven. Fallen buildings and structures are the result of this apocalypse, and we're here looking at it. There's a broken overpass in the distance, with a fallen streetlamp and tangled traffic wires across it. Real life trees are growing out of the cracked pavement, and an arch of vines is suspended on phone lines above a collapsed building.

One building has the glass exterior entirely shattered, and a broken elevator is sitting collecting dust from where it had been decimated against the sidewalk. Dust blows around the city. A collection of overturned vehicles are stacked in a collision.

No one can see to tear their gaze away from this real life; they themselves feeling alive with wonder as their eyes search the Ruined City.

Me however, I'm staring up.

Through the smog, the stars are just visible. And in spite of the present events, I smile still. The world is completely dark except for glints of light above the earth. Some brighter than others, but all still extraordinarily beautiful.

"Holy shit," Gray whispers, breaking the awed silence. We look back at another blood curdling scream ricocheting through the hallway. One more glance around, from Gray to Melissa, this may have been the first time any of us had unanimously agreed to something.

We have no choice.

We step outside, and we keep running.

After however much time had passed, we had no idea, we stopped in one of the buildings, more specifically the one we had deemed 'least likely to collapse'. It looked like an old theatre, judging by the metal foundation of an extended box on the front of the building. Above that was a large red, faded, and scratched metal banner. It appeared rusted, along with the bars, and you could carefully pick out the word 'CHICAGO' where the banner appeared less tainted.

The inside looked previously extravagant; before the apocalypse. We had run in, basking in the disharmonic glory of the theatre. There were rusted gold fixtures with peeling varnish throughout the theatre. There were rows and rows of red seats, the cushions ripped, missing, or smelling of something foul. There was a sort of calming essence to it, like watching a movie when fog sets around the main character.

There were eleven of us that had left the Bunker together. The anxieties were setting in. We didn't know where anyone else was. We'd all left our parents and everything. We'd all reclined in the red theatre seats, sitting where we could. It was definitely an adjustment after spending a lifetime within an enclosed, controlled environment, and I found myself suddenly afraid of the dark.

More specifically, afraid of whatever could be lurking inside of it.

A lot of us didn't end up actually sleeping. There was a resting fear within all of us, just as anticipated. But no one said anything. Some things are better left unspoken.

I glance down to my hand when another hand covers my own. A pale, cold, smaller one. I shift my shoulders in my theatre seat, wincing slightly as my body aches numbly.

"Oscar?" Melissa asks. I squeeze her hand and turn my head, seeing her squished in the seat beside me.

"Yeah?" I whisper back. She looks like she's almost smiling, but it's hard to tell in the dark.

"I wanna show you something," She says, using her free hand to push herself out of the seat. She stands and pulls at my arm, her almost smile continuing to linger. I don't move at first, looking back to my sisters and Gray, all asleep, and my heart pangs at the realization that my sisters are my responsibility. "Come on. They'll be fine." She tells me. I look back to her pleading eyes and nod reluctantly, pursing my lips. Melissa's almost smile turns into a real one as I wince at the moan the chair lets out when I stand. She tugs on my hand childishly and makes me smile a bit. We're always gonna be kids, I realize. "Come on." She breathes again and walks backwards, leading me out of the row.

She takes me to the lobby, where we'd first come through the theatre. She drops my hand when we turn around an old ticket booth, the glass dusty. I draw a smiley face on it when we pause.

"Here it is." Melissa says, grinning. I raise a brow at the sight she's brought me to; the ceiling has caved and the piled rubble around it had created a set of stairs. Melissa doesn't wait for my reaction and rolls up her sleeves before looking back at me over her shoulder. She starts climbing over the rubble, turning on the first ledge and waves at me to follow her. She giggles when I hesitate.

"It's safe," She says, tapping her foot against the stone ledge as if to prove her point, and I shake out a sudden blush before I reach up to the ledge. Melissa smiles widely and helps me onto the ledge. We continue climbing through the mostly caved in theatre until Melissa extends her hand to me. I look up. She's standing on flat surface. I take her hand at let her help me onto the roof of the theatre. I shake out my arms and put my hands on my hips, tilting my head to look at her. At her almost smile.

"Okay, I'm here," I say and feel my heart twitch when she giggles again.

"Okay," She says, walking to the edge of the roof and sitting down, crossing her legs. I follow suit and sit beside her. "Look up." She says and I do. My jaw goes slack almost suddenly and my eyes melt.

The sky is completely cleared of fog and cloud, all that remains now is a black nothingness and flickering lights. A minute goes by and my throat tightens, which makes me realize how close I am to crying.

They're beautiful. Every ounce of stardust and moonshine reflecting, bouncing, ricocheting, and emitting off one another to create a sea of dazzling nitrogen and helium; blinking golds and silvers.

A beacon of hope, with every star that shines.

I smile for the first time since leaving the Bunker.

I wake Gray and my sisters to watch the sunrise from the roof, and I marvel just as I had only a few hours earlier. It's incomparable to the stars; blends of the colors bleeding into the sky, silhouetting the clouds. I'm standing at the very edge of the building, Gray beside me with a grin. Then Artemis points to the horizon.

"What's that?" She asks. I follow her finger across the city. On another building, four figures stand standing away from the sun. Each appear hooded, and carry a staff beside them. The one closest to the edge holds the biggest one.

"It looks like… people," Kate says, coming to stand between Gray and I, Artemis occupying my other side. She's holding her hand over her forehead, squinting from the natural light.

"Zeros?" Gray asks. Kate shakes her head, blinking profusely whilst trying to shield her eyes from the sun.

"I don't think so," She mutters. I eye her sideways before I look back to the four figures.

"Is that even possible?" I ask. She shrugs, glancing to me, dropping her hand to cross her arms over her chest.

"How the hell should I know?" She asks. "We've been in captivity our whole lives. We don't know anything."

Chapter Nine:

We leave the theatre after sunrise.

I'm sweating and squinting, trying to navigate alongside Gray as we walk through the Ruined City.

That's what everyone in the Bunker had called it. Apparently it was notorious for being the originator of the Zero infection. Based on the look of it, I wouldn't say they were wrong. I look over my shoulder; my sisters are walking with some teens Kate knows, even though Artemis looks more like she's been left to the back with a boy her age. I turn back to the front, walking ahead with Gray and Melissa.

To say we're overwhelmed by the heat would be an understatement. Melissa has shed her blue cardigan, having tied it around her waist. Her usually straight hair has curled from the humidity. I think of my sisters, and turn to pick out their curls that have shot out in all directions; even mine it seems. Gray is sweating too. He's abandoned his sweater, leaving him in a black shirt. I've left my sweater too, and I have a line of sweat down the back of my T-Shirt. I shield my eyes as we keep walking, the brightness of the sun giving me a headache.

We continue walking through the Ruined City, not finding any other choice. Hoping that just maybe we would run into anyone else from the Bunker. There's an unsettling thought when you're on your own, though, and we could all feel it. It's a little overwhelming; and makes me feel claustrophobic. We're just a small part of the universe, and people underestimate just how consequential they are.

We rest again a while later.

We're starving, we're dehydrated. And a part of me thinks we won't survive much longer.

We stop in a library, close to the edge of the city. One of the doors has been ripped off its hinges, the other has a crushed door bracket and hangs crookedly. With the help from Juliette, Gray and I pull the door off its hinges and discard it to the side, throwing it amongst other damaged items throughout the city.

The worn library has two floors. It's painted walls have been dusted and covered in dark grime, smelling musty and old. A faded blue carpet has been ripped up and broken through by trees that grow up to the second floor of the library. A makeshift teal fence is bending upon the edge of the second floor.

The shelves of the library are in remarkably well shape and are lined with books that have been left collecting dust for generations. As we walk through the library, I trail my fingers along the spines of the books, particles of dust dripping onto the floor as I break them from the spines. I stop when I reach the end of the shelf, rubbing my fingers against my pants to rid them of the dust, and look to Kate, who stands awed.

"Wow," She whispers, never mind the extent to which we had found the library. I smile at her amazement and turn back to look at Melissa. A faint light from the dusted windows shines through and illuminates the side of her face, and brightens her smile when she looks at me.

One of the trees, in the middle of the room, has broken through the roof, which was nearly destroyed in itself anyways. I move from the shelves to stand at the base of the tree, and look up. Disfigured light bounces off the leaves, leaving a shadowed pattern across my face. It causes me to blink when the leaves shift, when sunlight squints at me between the gaps. I look back at the trees stalk and place my hand on the bark, feeling myself begin to smile. The bark is scratchy, rough and firm. It smells almost sweet, and I spread my hand against it. My fingertips spread at each groove and divot within the bark. My calluses curl around them as I touch them. I feel grounded, and flatten my palm on the sculpted bark.

My smile broadens, and I beam.

This is a tree.

This is a library.

This is the real world.

We found apples hidden between the branches on one of the trees. We didn't stop to wonder if they had some kind of infection, and since we had nothing to wash them with, we took our chances. God knows we've already been exposed to enough bacteria, and if we don't die soon, I'll consider it a miracle.

The apples were sweet. Not as sweet as the ones from the Bunker, and from just holding one they felt more rounded, more natural. Everything in the Bunker had been manufactured to specific detail, ensuring health and vitamins that were complementary to what was considered a healthy lifestyle.

Even so, it felt nice to have something of any familiarity.

Our group left the library about a half hour later. A bit further down the street, we came to an empty parking lot. There are a few fallen streetlamps, and the pavement is cracked and shifted from where it had originally sat. Faded yellow lines scratch the divided lot. There's a large building white crosswalk lines direct us to. The previous white and red paint of the building is tattered, and there's missing letters where the signs impression once read 'COSTCO' in red lettering.

I glance to Gray vigilantly as we approach the building. His expression mirrors mine, and we stray closer when we near the entry. The doors look automatic. The metal bars still divide where the doors would slide apart, but the glass on the doors are completely shattered. I stumble back when they move apart, and out of the corner of my eye Artemis smirks.

When we go in, it looks completely deserted, and someone coughs when dust rises as we walk through. Melissa takes off as we enter almost immediately, running towards a line of cash registers. To the side of them are cases of bottled water.

"Oh thank God," Juliette breathes when Melissa tears into the water bottles, tossing them around the group as we jog to meet her. Gray chugs his bottle and reaches for another one. Artemis is looking around the building, water dripping over her lip.

"Do you think there's any food here?" She asks. Gray swallows, taking a breath and putting his bottle on the floor.

"Probably," He says, glancing to me. I shrug, looking around the building just as Artemis had. It's split into wide aisles all across.

"We should split up. Look around the store, we'll meet back here if anyone finds anything," Kate says, nodding to Juliette and I.

"Says who?" One of the boys snarks, and there's an echo of snickering between the other boys. Kate raises a brow and crosses her arms.

"Fine, go ahead and starve," She remarks. I can see Artemis grinning out of the corner of my eye, I turn to reach over and ruffle her hair. She shrinks, cringing away from me and ducks under Juliettes arm, easing in beside her. The boys face has gone beet red. I glance to my sisters and Kate nods.

"We're going to look around," I say, glancing at Gray. Beyond him, Melissa comes to stand beside him.

Gray and I turn to browse the aisles with Melissa, Juliette, Kate, and Artemis. The shelves are high, and the ceilings go even higher. The shelves are mostly empty, and a majority of the aisles occupy overturned cardboard boxes and broken products. In one aisle there's a grocery cart turned on it's side. Something looks as if it's rotting inside of it. We don't go closer to see. The further we go into the store the darker it gets, from the lack of natural light reaching the back of the building, and the more clammy the air begins to feel. I swallow, and a chill runs down my back when something runs ahead of us. I lessen my pace as I realize what sits in front of me.

It's a child. A little girl, maybe six years old. She sits facing away from us, and I swallow, an uneasiness settling in my stomach; then her head turns. I hear one of the girls gasp, and I think Gray whimpers. A bloodied leg is held between her grubby hands, and she's gnawing on it's flesh, a strip of skin hanging out of her lip

"Oh God," Artemis mewls. The little girl stands and begins stalking towards us, tottering back and forth as she attempts to drag the leg behind her. Melissa hooks her hand around my elbow.

"Oscar," She says cautiously. I turn and start running, grabbing Melissa's arm and pulling her with me. I look behind me to see Gray and my sisters right behind us, and beyond them, the lurching figure of the little girl who staggers to reach our speed. I hear Melissa yelp and turn again. In front of us is another Zero, one biting into the neck of the boy who had spoken to Kate. His mouth is frozen open, and thin lines of blood are trickling from his eyes. I gag and swallow back a heave of vomit as Melissa pulls me back, closer to her.

We skid to a halt, stopping mere feet in front of the Zero.

I'm panting, and cold fear trickles through my veins. Melissa's arm is still wrapped around mine, and her other hand rests at my elbow.

I stumble back, and Melissa yelps as a girl drops in front of us, wielding a hooked staff in her right hand. It's carved of wood, with a leather patch wrapped around the middle. The hook on the one end is curved inward, sanded almost white, and the lip of it curls around itself. A carved spearhead is on the other end, tied around the top of the staff with vine. She's facing away from us, and a wave of black hair whips around as she drops, kicking out the Zeros legs and plunging her spear into its chest as it falls.

She stands from where she'd bent over the Zero. She lifts her spear from it's chest and turns to face us. She holds a fierce stare. A black scarf is tied around her head, shielding the entire bottom half of her face. Sleek, black hair falls to her hips, few hairs straying in front of her eyes. She wears black clothing; combat pants with knives and daggers peeking from her pockets. It looks at though she holds arrows in the sheath of boots that reach her knees. She wears a haltered black shirt. The sleeves only reach to her elbows, past that is the same brown leather on her staff shielding her forearms.

"Flagitiis atro ambientibus." She says from under her mask and I jump as three additional girls jump down, encasing the six of us in a circle. They each wear the same thing as her. Two have brown hair, one is blonde, all three have it exceeding their chests in length.

"Oscar," Kate whispers. The girls head tilts to the side. She moves forward quickly, swinging her staff behind her before the hook reaches around the back of my neck, pulling me to my knees. I look up with a quick gasp of breath and see the black haired girl hovering just in front of me, pulling my head up to meet hers as she navigates her hook. Her eyes are narrowed, and it's a second before she speaks again.

"Who are you?"