Samlin Greenham
I suddenly open my eyes.
I blink and slowly move my head. The pain in head is light, a little like when you are injected morphine.
Where am I?
I move myself in a seated position, then look around the room, remaining dark.
It is my own room.
I clamber off from the bed and stand up and switch on the light. The clothes I'm wearing is dry, surprising. The windows are opened, bringing cold air and the door is opened, so I warily step outside.
Somebody brought me home.
How night is it?
"Mom, are you here?" I call out, wondering if someone's in our house. I stay still and try to hear any sound.
It's quiet.
I go downstairs and examine the front door, which is locked from inside. The grand clock says it's 7 p.m. and my mother isn't home yet.
I look for my school bag, which is staying on the sofa and I sit in a one, pulling out my phone.
Battery died.
Awesome.
I walk to the kitchen and open the fridge. I think it would be better to eat something than searching for answers.
I place a plate of sandwiches on the table and sit down in a chair. I take a small bite.
I remember now.
I was swimming and started seeing flashbacks. Then the pain bursted....
I was with Edwin, right?
If I'm right about thinking who he is, who he really is, then...I don't know what to do. I take a gulp of water, feeling confused.
I stand up and unplug my phone from the charger. I scroll down and tap his number. The line is ringing.
"Sam?" His voice says.
"Charlie. I have a favor to ask of."
~
After dinner, I open my photo album. Photos can tell you many things. When the people who you love, who aren't here with you, maybe you can recall them by your memories.
But you can remember them better by the photos. Photos of your good times. Photos of your happiness. Photos of your excitement.
But I have photos about my sad times, too.
Maybe you're wondering why am I telling you this?
This is about my father.
I open the first page. There are two photos of me and him. I was eight right then and we traveled to see Eiffel Tower. Another one was in Eureka Valley.
The vast, blue sky was behind us.
It hurts thinking about my father, when I don't know where he is.
Alive or dead.
Or running 'cause of The Conditorem.
I found an book and some paper clips about this secret society in his study room. Those were hidden, but I was pretty good at revealing hidden stuff. I didn't know what the connection between my father and the society, hell, I still don't.
But I do know they're dangerous. Somehow they are responsible for his disappearance. At that moment, there's a knock at my door.
I swiftly hide the album in my closet, because I don't feel comfortable talking about him with my mother.
It hurts so much.
"Honey, you asleep?" my mother's voice comes through the door.
I climb off the bed and open the door. She just came home and she looks exhausted.
"Mom, you okay?" I ask worriedly.
She gives me a faint smile. "I'm okay, Sam. Just....tired."
I let her come in and she sits in the edge of my bed. I examine her face carefully.
She looks confused, sad, weak and maybe a little afraid. She releases a shaky breath. She wants to tell something .
I kneel in front of her, taking her hands.
"What happened, Mom?" I ask softly.
She seems to like gathering her emotions.
"I don't want you to be upset."
"I won't. Just tell me."
She runs her eyes, inhaling a deep breath. "Chief Corbin called two hours ago. He said me that an old man found a body in a small forest ....actually a skeleton... near of a hotel in Belèm. The same hotel your Dad went for his work."
"Where? Forte do Castelo?" I can't avoid the shake in my voice.
My mother nods. A tear falls down in her cheek. Why is she crying?
That can't be true.
"A body couldn't turn into a skeleton in ten months if it was six feet under the soil."
"It was. But the Chief said...animals could do that in Amazon. And the face wasn't recognizable. The police team of Belèm are going to take the body for autopsy." She's crying hard now.
I don't think it's him.
"It can't be him." I say.
"I hope so," her voice breaks.
I make my mind hard, at least pretend.
"I need to be alone, Mom."
I close the door firmly behind me, then change into a black t-shirt and jeans.
Because I'm going outside.
To Alone Five.
I open the window and silently come outside. If my mother knows, she'll pull out my brain in her own way. And obviously I don't want a brainless head.
I need to distract myself.
I start to run, letting the cold night breeze touch my skin. When it touches me, my emotions calms. When it touches me, a tiny piece of hope peeps in my mind.
Is my father really dead?
What if the autopsy report tells that it's his body? Four days later?
What if some bastard really killed him?
My hands start to shake.
Calm down, Sam. Please.
My father's voice just appeared in my head.
Well, I am starting to talk to you. It can help to distract my temper and hurt.
And keep running.
I'm not a normal teenager. I don't get up lately for school, greeting my parents "Good morning" with a bright smile, tapping little siblings heads or whatever (I don't have any ) and shove some breakfast in my throat. I don't ride with my mom or dad and listen to them saying, "Have a good day, sweetie!" I don't blush as strawberry when I see every hot guy passing me and start to talk about their asses with my friends. I don't go to a club or a concert or a party and dance wildly and get stoned, ending up someone's bed. I don't tell people names behind their back and if I do, I don't bother to say that in their faces, too. I am so quick. My thoughts change within a second.
What are you thinking, huh?
No, trust me, I'm not as bad as you are thinking.
But sometimes I can be a badass.
Don't think I'm a total weirdo, 'cause I do normal things, too. I eat, sleep and pee.
And some unusual things.
When I hear the sound, I focus myself in the present.
Somebody is playing cello.
Oh...now I'm passing Jake's home.
I stop for a moment and I can see the light in his room. Honestly, he plays very well.
I went to their home a few times and it were okay, despite his mother behavior. I don't get it, but she has a hard feeling against me. Mr. Sordino is a banker and my mother's colleague. He's very cool and a football crazy fan and plays cello, too. When his family first moved here and Mr. Sordino got a job in the same bank where my mother worked, well she still does, then Mom invited them for dinner. This is how I and Jake got closer.
You might think I wanted him to like me.
Maybe I did.
For a little while.
I jerk my head, not wanting to about that. He has got Em now and they can be happy, if they understand each other.
And if they're getting serious.
My legs are running and when I start to climb the tiny mountain, my mind tense up.
Is it a good idea?
To bring back memories of someone, who hurt you? When you're trying to forget about your father's disappearance?
Yes, we all live in confusions and questions.
I jerk my head again and slowly reach at the top. I sit on the ground.
It's my Alone Five.
It's not mine actually.
Yes, I have a huge secret.
The place is his.
~
"You love surprises, don't you, Sammy?" He asked me, his tone playful.
"Come on, Lynn, don't be an ass," I grabbed his hard arm, stopping him. "Just tell me where are we going."
He took his mouth to my ear, taking a deep breath. "We're going to..." he paused dramatically.
I was waiting eagerly for the answer.
He yanked his arm from my grasp and started to run.
"I can't tell, it's a surprise! Let's run, Sammy!"
After releasing a frustrated sigh, I started to follow him.
"You always do this, Lynn. I can't tell you that I hate surprises, because you will be sad. And I don't want to be the cause which makes you sad or glum," I thought.
How silly I was!
He had long black, soft hair, that kind of hair you want to ruffle with your fingers. He was tall, broad shouldered and so handsome.
He had green eyes. So dark, beautiful.
He was my friend. My first....love? I'm not sure if I loved him. Your whole world shatters when your love betrays you.
But he showed me his places, where he loved to stay when he was alone.
Or angry.
Or sad.
He showed me this Alone Five, a tiny mountain. From where you can watch the stars, the dark sky in night, the nature.
From where you can feel the cold air of the night, which calms you.
From where you can slightly feel heaven.
Lynn showed me this places.
He showed me how to love nature.
Why did you leave me?
And now why did you come back?
Actually what's the point of my life?
What's the point of all of this?
I start to sob.
I guess I did love him.