Present Day
The interaction between the two girls and that man had become too overbearing & immodest for me to watch anymore. As I look away, putting me head down I hear a loud gut-wrenching growl, the one that raises the hair on your neck, and I know they heard it too.
How can there be an animal here in the middle of New York? I start looking around from the car window trying to spot the animal, that is when I hear one of the girls scream.
Stay inside Omerta, you must not go out. I keep on repeating to myself.
But against all my better judgement, I step out of the car and run towards the screaming girl.
Yesterday
I was still standing dealing with the aftermath of my first ever interaction with my father, my mind still trying to process what had just happened. I was baffled, confused, I had so many questions.
Sensing my confused state, nana broke the awkward silence that my father had left for the three of us to deal with
"Omerta, don't worry I am sure your father has thought this through", but nana's usually sure voice failed to support her words. "you should go pack your bags"
"Yes absolutely, you shouldn't think too much about this." Maria added, a little too eagerly.
"But but?" I asked wanting to know what was happening
"Omerta you are wasting time, And you must get up early, if you want to finish the pizzeria statement of account before you prepare breakfast tomorrow. You were so keen on doing it, I would hate for you to not have the learning experience. Also, pack your bags, you surely wouldn't want to disappoint your father."
I nodded out of habit and started towards my room.
Maria is right I can't disappoint him; this was the first time he has ever directly asked me to do something.
But why pack all my things?
Probably they are sending me to live with nana, yes that must be it. This topic has come up multiple times, especially after the twin's birth. But nana has always been able to convince my father that it will not have a good impression on Don Luciano, and that the family must stay together. Yes, that must be it. I try to convince myself.
Unwanted child or not, this is the only family I had ever known. They had always provided for me - a roof, clothes, food and a good education.
I might have hoped for more when I was growing up, but at 17 years I knew they had done a lot. I was indebted to them; my life could have been a lot worse. And it's not just what they had done, I had no one else in my life these were the only people that were there, I had no friends or any other living relatives, except for my absconding mother.
My whole life revolved around this house, the family pizzeria where I worked with nana & Maria, and the school, or rather library where I spent the left over time. I have never had time to make friends or even acquaintances, no one knows me well at school. I have always been busy being "the ideal daughter".
Good or not, this is all I have ever known.
I just hope that it I am going to stay with nana, I really wont mind. I will still be with my family after all.
I start packing my things, it doesn't take me too long to pack my belongings, I don't have that much, just an old trunk that has my clothes, and some books that I have collected over the years.
Lastly, I pick up my mother's pendant that she left me, it is the only thing that I have left of her, and pack it in my school bag along with other school supplies. As I am closing my school bag I start to wonder if I will be allowed to continue school, I still have my last year left, and I enjoy studying learning new things, books and knowledge have always been my happy place.
I am still wondering about school as I lie-down in my makeshift bed. My previous worries try to make their way back in my head, but they soon lose the fight to physical exhaustion that takes over my body putting me in a deep slumber.
"Beep Beep" "Beep, Beep"
As my alarm clock blaringly declares that it's 5am, my body's biological clock robotically puts me to action, like any other day.
I quickly shower and head down to the kitchen, to start on breakfast & cleaning. In the back of my mind I am aware that I also must work on the statement of accounts before everyone is awake.
Come 8 am, the entire family is awake, and I can hear the footsteps moving towards the kitchen. Luckily, I am also done with my statement of accounts. I have been so into my morning tasks that I have not even had a minute to think about anything.
After serving them breakfast, I collect the statement of account and hand it over to Maria.
"Let me have a look at this! Were you able to compile the supply chain log?" Maria asks calmly
But we never spoke about the supply chain log, I think but don't say "Uh-um, I can start right away I will just take an hour"
"No, it's ok we don't have the time, I will have to manage that myself only" she says flatly "We must leave right after breakfast. I hope you are packed, right? The Luciano family home is in upstate New jersey. We need to leave right away to make it there by brunch. You remember what your father told you last night right?"
And the train of unanswered questions, uncertainties hits me with full force. In the morning madness, I had so much to do that previous night's events in my head seemed like a disturbing distant dream. I lose all my morning calm as I realize that this nightmare will be my reality in few hours.
"I also have a dress set out for you, why don't you quickly go change. And come back down with your bags. You too boys quickly go change" Maria continues
I want to ask so many questions, but I am tongue tied. "I am going to live with Nana" I keep telling myself.
Antonio one of the twins looks at me & asks "Why is Omerta packing her bags? Where is she going?"
"We leave in 5 min sharp, all of you go and sit in the car" my father interjects with a cold voice. The twins look uncertain because he is always very warm & loving with them, but they quietly abide when he looks up from his phone to glare at them.
"we will drop you home after the brunch mama" he tells nana
Then he turns his head towards me, looking me directly in my eyes, acknowledging me before going back to his phone.
And that right there is ladies & gentlemen is the second time that my father has acknowledged me in my lifetime, & despite the questions in my head, all I can focus on is a glimmer of hope that this interaction has left me with .
The twins are already in the car, and so is my trunk and school bag in the boot. Maria gets in and asks me check on nana to see if she needs any help.
When I enter the house, I again hear nana & father arguing again.
"They had asked for the backgrounds & academic records for all the girls in the Mafioso a few weeks back. Don Luciano called to inform me last week."
"And you did no care to ask why, women have no role in the mafioso.?" nana questions my father
"It's for something important, he will publicly announce it today" father stalls, looking around nervously.
"What are you hiding Lucio?"
Before nana could continue, my father's phone rings.
"We will continue this later mama I promise, let's go pls we can't be late. I will have to take this" he said hurrying out of the room, ignoring my standing figure at the doorway.
When nana saw me, standing against the door she gave me a reassuring smile, assuming I had not heard anything "Are you ready Omerta"
"yes Nana, do you need any help"
"No, I am good. And don't you worry. It's going to be all ok."
She tries her best to pacify me, but the conversation between her and father has left me more worried than I originally was. My mind has started going in circles, and I barely wrap the recent events in my head.
What was that about the details of all the girls, what will be announced at the party today? Why am I invited for today's brunch, I never go? Could it be the Italy scholarship that they had announced, but I never applied for it? Am I really going to stay with nana? Or am I reading too much between the lines?
I know that I am thinking too much, but my gut is telling me that I am right to be worried. These feelers that I get are mostly true.
Plagued with these questions, I see the only home that I have ever known fade into distance.