You know, I never thought that I would get so excited over something in my life, and feel bad at the same time. It is the kind of bad that makes you feel bad. It ruins the excitement. It is a very bad feeling. Yet here I was, feeling it with a frown, a real frown, plastered across my face. Something I have done so rarely that I have forgotten the last time I have done it.
I was currently in my hallway. I always had a strange connection, a strange yearning for this place, like it was my place of belonging. I had begged my parents for it and after a while, they finally caved. That victory was the second time I have felt so excited. I let out a sigh, remembering how at the time I had felt a nostalgia...and something that tells me that this place is my destiny...one I shouldn't like. At the time I was a child. Even though I was able to speak and understand what big and cryptic words mean at a much younger age than my siblings, I myself did not pay any heed to the warnings and desperately tried to hang on to that excitement I had felt. That rush. That thrill. I want it back...but not like this. Now I see that I truly do want it back. I want it back but I just want the excitement. Is that so much to ask for?
I scowled at nothing. 'Apparently, it is.'
I knew that fighting Zane was going to be fun. Yet now that I am here, waiting for him to walk in, I realized that...
....I should have done this so much sooner.
I've seen Zane fight. I feel my acidic salvia drip from my mouth and the thought of us dancing...Yes. That is the least he could do. Every time I think about him, mainly the few times I see him smile, I feel a bad stab at my chest and my mind goes blank like it can't fully understand what is happening. And I am sick of it. I am sure Zane loves to fight. It is the one thing that is different in each world he goes to. Each fight different. That is something I am positive we both love. So fighting each other should be no different, right? Besides...I don't want my dad to die. My mom, maybe, but not dad. So I'll guess I'll fight for him too. Though to be honest, I might, nay, probably will kill him myself if he intervenes.
I felt my smile return, only this time it is real...or as real as it can be in this situation. My teeth came together, making a nice clink sound. Luckily the doors are soundproof. I can hear Zane walking up because I am special but he can't hear nor detect me. I have to stay quiet and hidden, as to not ruin the surprise. I can't wait to see the look on his face. The realization. Oh, how Delicious it will Be!
I start scratching and clutching my face, attempting to contain my excitement and the urge to start swinging and destroying whatever is in sight to quell my urges. I have all the time to do that...do that to Zane...
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....Somehow that makes me feel worse.
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I stared out the window of this hallway, which has one of many large windows. This hallway was mine. My room...or secret room anyway. I had begged my parents to let me have it and after a while, they gave in. It isn't like anyone actually uses this room for anything. Despite the ancient design which told stories in riddles that were far too advance for my little head to wrap around. Proof of this was the purple tiger/bear stuffed animal in my right hand and the tiger stuffed animal on the left of the window ceil.
I was currently not playing with them. No. I was staring out the window and into the dark outside. The two moons, the closest one blue, and the farthest one silver shone brightly in the sky. That mixed with the stars cast a wonderful glow on the ground below, highlighting the shadows. The way the shadows are highlighted and the way the ground is lit up make for the most beautiful scene. I wonder why, with this oh so beautiful scene, that people shun the night and the darkness. Honestly, it makes no sense at all. But, I guess people are just like that, huh?
I always have my thoughts collected when I am looking out like this. I know I'm messed up. If my mother or most of the people in the kingdom were to die, I wouldn't feel a thing. In fact, I would enjoy the panic that would ensue afterward. Even though I could speak and understand big concepts at a young age, I never did understand anything simple, or much common sense, in the first place. To me, it was a concept that no matter how much I try, I just can't figure it out. And I seem to be fated to always be like this, be the same, forever.
I heard knocking at my door and wondered if it was the janitor. After all, this hallway is located behind the throne room and the entrance where the knocking is coming from is from an old and not used part of the castle. Only the royal janitor knows that I am in here. Not the guards nor most of my siblings since this room is locked off in the throne room.
I felt myself smile and wonder if instead of the janitor, it were bandits that were on the other side. I really hope that is the case cause if it is then I could have some fun!
I stayed silent and when the knocking came back, I felt my hopes die down a little.
"Come in!"
Despite saying that, I was already in front of the door. Despite being soundproof, I could hear past the doors. It sounded like there were two people both wearing armor. If I hear any of them walking away, I would open up the door to see who it was. That or if I detect magic. I really want them to be bandits.
Unfortunately, it seems fate has other plans.
"Hey, it's me, Zane. Can I come in?"
I let out a tsk, my hopes dying out in an instant. Still, I wonder who the other person is?
"And the other person?"
"She is Annabell, a friend of mine who is one of my party members."
Ahh! Right. Zane is currently on a journey right now. Which does beg the question, why is he here right now?
"Sure sure, come on in. You have some explaining to do though."
I unlocked the door and walked back to where I was. By the time Zane managed to open the eight-million-pound door, I was already back staring out of the window. I sighed and turned to look at my visitors. Zane was looking less chubby and Annabell was a rather tall girl with red hair and somewhat pointy ears. Probably a half-elf. With her flashy silver armor, I can only assume she is some kind of big shot. For some reason, her face seems to be relieved when she saw me. Though of course, that changed when I turned to face them fully, showing my right eye. Then I saw delicious fear. I couldn't help but let out a giggle at that.
I crouched down and was on Zane's back in an instant. Annabell flinched while Zane didn't react. He was used to my antics by now.
"So, why are ya here? I thought you were on a big old grand journey to save the world and whatnot?"
I poked Zane on the cheek, accidentally cutting him with my sharp fingernail which also got a reaction from Annabell. I am guessing she is used to seeing Zane as someone who couldn't get hurt from a mere little girl. Heh.
"I came back since I could catch a break and thought that it wouldn't be really much of a break if I didn't see you."
I giggled, feeling my happiness meter raise.
"That is true. I am your tutorial after all."
Zane let out a small smile at that. I got off him and spun around.
"This must be the third time you saw my hallway, huh? Well, welcome again!"
I took one last glance at the outside world before focusing back on Zane. Ever since he came into my life, even if I can't find it within me to trust him, I have been so much more...happier. I find myself enjoying not morbid things but things that little girls my age are supposed to enjoy. Zane is like my brother, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
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....Well, I guess being enemies would work too.