"Whatever. Find your class by yourself," Nixion says to me, angrily, and walks away. What did I do? I ask myself, but my curiosity doesn't last very long. I hug myself tightly, leaning against the wall, and try to calm down. My body is shaking and my breath is ragged. He touched me… He touched me…
I shake my head and keep telling myself over, and over again that it's okay. It's over now, and it's okay. It wasn't a lot anyways, it's okay. Slowly, I get my mind to clear, but my body is still shaking. However, I can't worry about it now; I got to get to class. But where was Nixion taking me…
"KACE!" I hear to my right and I look over to find Arian bobbing through the crowd to get to me. I watch in horror as he clumsily pushes people aside, apologizing every two steps. When he's only a few feet away from me, he trips, and hits the floor with a thud. I wince, but when he gets up, he's smiling. "Hey, I've been looking for you everywhere!"
I start to tell him that he didn't have to and that we would have just came across each other eventually, but Arian starts up again before I can get anything out. "It's been so long since I've seen you! So much happened too!! You missed all the fights at school and all the hook ups. Not me, of course, but I did go out with Cindee Harris once in sixth grade, even though she won't admit it. We kissed though so it was real. Oh, and I-… Hey, are you okay?"
I laugh a little at his rambling and unlatch my fingers from my arms. "Yes, I just got a little lost. You say a lot has happened but you're still the same."
"What is that supposed to mean??" he protests, but soon we're both laughing. "Well, either way, it's still really good to see you again. I didn't think I ever would! I'll help you find your classes if you have your list."
My smile fades and I bite my lip out of awkwardness. "Oh… I think Nixion must have taken it with him."
Arian's eyes widen and he steps back. "You don't mean Nixion Moore??" he yells out in surprise. Then his eyes widen again, and he quickly looks left and then right, looking frightened, before stepping closer again. In a hushed voice he asks, "Why were you talking to Nix??"
Confused, I just shrug. "The teacher made him show me around. He seemed nice."
"Nice?? How is Nix Moore nice?" Arian frantically asks me before taking a deep breath. "Well… I'm just glad he didn't beat you up. Let's go to the office and get your list."
Arian leads me down a series of hallways and I follow close to his heels. As we walk, he tells me about all I missed, and about all that has happen. Apparently, who was fighting who and who was with who was very important. I didn't really understand it all- maybe because I didn't know anyone that well anymore. School seemed like a blur in my mind and I could only remember Arian and some of the bad things that happened… I didn't really care much about any of what he told me.
When we finally got to the office, Arian helped me get my list again. From the moment he mentioned Nix to the lady at the front desk, she became very understanding. Was Nix really that bad of a guy? I didn't really know him well but he didn't seem that bad. Maybe it's good he doesn't like me…
Arian was overcome with joy when he found out that we had most of our classes together. He explained to me how in this school, we had only four periods while in other schools people had eight. "We just have each class one semester," he said while he walked me to class. "It makes things easier, I think."
His attitude towards everything was bright, and it made it feel nice to be around him. I didn't mind that he rambled or that he was clumsy. Even our differences in views didn't bother me. He was happy, so he made me happy to.
Suddenly I realized how much I missed this. I missed having moments like this and having friends. It felt good to have it back again but something had changed. The things I missed were long over and the people I used to know were strangers. And then there was me… I was far past changed. How do I get back to normal?
The classroom appeared before us and Arian said goodbye to me at the door and ran off to his next class. We had lunch and another period together though, so I didn't mind it much. Knowing someone made going to class a whole lot easier. I just hopped no one remembered what happened the last time I came to school…
The class was, again, fairly easy. I didn't talk to anyone like I did with Nix, but I felt as though things went well with the others. No one singled me out for being new or anything else, so it didn't feel as awkward. Maybe my mom was right; things weren't as bad as I thought. I didn't really want her to know that though.
Class ended in what felt like minutes, even though it was about a two hour class. I waited again for everyone to leave before me, and when I got to the door, I found Arian there waiting on me. "Ready for lunch?" he asked, and I smiled and let him lead the way.
On the way there, a few of Arians friends showed up to join us. There was Emily- an extremely athletic girl who was involved with every sport imaginable, and from the sound of it, she played very well too. Eric was the other guy who showed up. He was much like Arian because he rambled as well, and about things I didn't really get. They were all very social though, and it didn't take long until I started to warm up to them.
The cafeteria was huge and extremely crowded. I started to feel uncomfortable instantly, but I tried to remind myself that I was okay. For some reason though, all I could think about was someone coming close and touching me. Their skin pressing against mine, rubbing, or just bumping against me was a disgusting thought. I wasn't afraid of germs. I just got this feeling when someone touched me… I hated it. So much that I was afraid; just waiting for it to happen.
I tried to shake off the bad feeling, and got my food with the others. It was pizza day and I was very happy. School food was one of the things I didn't look forward to, but it looked as though I didn't have to worry about it as much today.
We picked a table off to the side and started to eat. The others started off into conversations about comics and math, and I was reminded of how much of a nerd Arian was and used to be. I enjoyed that about him though and it was confronting that he didn't change much. I tried to keep up with their conversation, but I got lost. Listening was just as well though, and actually a lot easier. The three of them talked so much that it felt as though they were fighting over who got to speak next. I smiled at the thought.
However, as I looked up from taking another bite of my food, I noticed another table in the back. Nix was there with a group of four or five others dressed similarly like he was. They all wore some kind of band logo, and they all had tattoos or piercings. A guy that was next to Nix was talking, and when he finished, they all laughed. Around them though, all the tables were empty, like people were trying to avoid them. When someone walked past, it was fast and without a glance towards them. They didn't seem to notice or care though- they were busy laughing.
Then, suddenly, a pretty girl with black hair walked over to the table and sat down in Nix's lap, facing him. A nasty feeling settled in my stomach as she wrapped her arm around his neck, and traced her hand down his stomach with her other. Arian saw me make a face and asked me is there was something wrong with my food.
"No… It's fine," I said plainly, but Arian looked behind him to see what I was looking at.
"Oh that's Olivia," he explained to me. "She's been after Nix since sex was a thing."
Emily smirked. "He's not interested though. He always blows her off and she gets so mad. It's kind of funny actually."
I looked up again and looked at the expression Nix was making. Maybe Emily was right- he looked extremely annoyed.
"She's really pretty actually," Eric added in. "Too bad she's a whore."
"Yeah, I bet they've done it already," Arian said.
What? The girl was leaning into Nix now, and I watched as she kissed him, while slowly rubbing her hand on his chest. I started to feel sick.
"Ew gross," Emily said laughing. "I bet she used his abs like a washboard for her tongue."
They were kissing deeper now, and I could tell that she had entered his mouth. The sick feeling got worse as Emily's words took picture form in my head. This is so disgusting…
Eric laughed too. "I doubt it. He probably didn't let her get farther than a blow job. He pretty much hates her."
I couldn't stay there long after that. The picture image was in full color now, and the girl's kiss was just getting more intimate every second. As fast as I could, I ran to the nearest trash can, and I threw up.