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Chapter 14 - Contemplations

Caspar was stunned. He tried to speak and only air came out. The council was looking at him expectantly. Farhad knew of the familiarity that Caspar shared with his daughter, and probably thought that it was only right and not painful if the two were to join in marriage.

Caspar cleared his throat and attempted to regain his composure, not even sparing a glance to see Nasir's reaction, who's eyes were about to fall out of his head.

'I am pleased that you are willing to help us. Please do not take any offense to what I am going to say next, but in Bamm it is customary to wed for love' he explained slowly, trying to gauge the council's reaction. Maarit looked concerned, Ehsan was unreadable, Farhad actually looked understanding, but his wife Tabitha looked like none of the other three. She looked angered.

'Are you telling me' Tabitha said in her low voice 'that you do not love my daughter, because we are aware that the two of you spend time together' she said, revealing that they knew of their meetings.

Caspar could sense he was on rocky soil, particularly with the girl's mother. He had never meant any harm towards Vashti. He enjoyed her company for the most part, noticing little quirks that did not compliment him, but he never complained, as they both talked and understood that their relationship was one of friendship and lust, nothing more. He was not raised to save his innocence for his wife and therefore didn't worry as long as Vashti was comfortable, which she told him on numerous occasions that she was.

The past 3 years however, Caspar had begun his work in earnest, scouting and trading for Azzaran while waiting for an opportune time to gain back his kingdom, Bamm. He had put a halt to his and Vashti's relationship, realizing that their differences were growing bigger while the lust had waned, at least for him. She would try to see him consistently, and he would oblige her a meal but nothing more. It seemed to irk her, but she never complained. What would she think now with her parents trying to tie them together after all these years apart.

Treading carefully, Caspar said 'I care very much for your daughter, Madam Tabitha, we just have not been so close for years now. She is beautiful and respectable. Maybe I can take some time to consider this new offer you have generously given me?'

'It would be wise to do so, you have 2 days to decide, as we would have many preparations to make if you decide favorably' Tabitha answered him.

'Thank you wise ones, I will be back within the allotted time' Caspar said bowing and began to retreat with Nasir.

Both men were silent as they exited the place, looking lost in thought. They began their walk towards Caspar's estate and once they crossed the bridge, Nasir began.

'What are you thinking?'

'I don't know.'

'What do you think Vashti will do?'

'I don't know' Caspar responded, looking tired again.

'And what about Sarina?' Nasir continued his onslaught of questions.

'I DON'T KNOW!' Caspar exploded at him.

Nasir nodded, not hurt, knowing his friend was only overwhelmed. He gave Caspar a minute to calm down, knowing when he did he would begin to think clearly.

They walked in silence for a bit.

'I am sorry' Caspar said finally, looking defeated. 'That was wrong of me to raise my voice.'

'Okay now that you're back, can we please discuss how you're going to get out of this' Nasir asked, bouncing back to his old self instantly.

'Nasir, ...I'm not sure I can get out of it' he said, his mood turning foul. 'I have intel informing me about Bamm and the surrounding lands. The smaller villages would help only slightly in numbers, but in no way magical. The royal family still has good rapport, but no one knows that I am missing still, at least not officially. The kingdoms that have some distance are concerned only with themselves and their power, they will not provide aid. Azzaran is our last and best hope' Caspar said, as much to himself as Nasir.

'Okay, but are you willing to tie your life to Vashti, can you trust her to keep your kingdom's secrets? And an heir! Everyone will soon want an heir.'

'What other choice do I have Nasir? I can't jeopardize my kingdom just because I am not infatuated with their queen' Caspar said sighing.

'There is a reason our ancestors always married for love Caspar. Love strengthens us, supports us and guides us to be the best versions of ourselves. It is doubly important for you to be at your best as a monarch. Kings went without wives if they could not find a suitable match, not marrying for power. You would be doing something that hasn't been done in generations.'

'Well maybe love isn't all it is told to be. Or maybe I can learn to love her' Caspar negotiated. 'And since when are you an expert on love? War makes everything different and everything is fair within it. If it's a sacrifice I have to make for my people, then I will do so' Caspar said with some finality.

Nasir said no more, and just let his friend sit in his thoughts, thinking how foolish he was. They were almost back to Caspar's estate.

'I will give you some time to consider Caspar' Nasir said and turned on the road towards his own estate.

Caspar slowed his walk to almost a crawl as he got closer to his home. He hated this, not dreaming this was something the council would want from him for aid. He had studied and learned that other kingdoms operated this way and thought it strange. Now he is forced with the dilemma. And why did it feel like such a dilemma to him? He has known of Vashti for years and she is beautiful. But a ruler?

And then there was Sarina. He knew it was a bit ridiculous to be so infatuated with her already, but he could see her innocence and beauty. Mostly she seemed like a pure spirit to him, floating free. He had just decided to know her more and consider marriage with her! Now he dreaded seeing her face, afraid it would drain his resolve. He would go to the lake. It always calmed him.

Then he would face her.