Thursday was here and I had no class. I decided to visit a gynecologist for check up since I needed it. I booked a random appointment with an online gynecologist. I also used my mum's health insurance which I had to steal since I was covered while still in school. Now here I was sitting at the waiting room.
I was partly prepared for this and every moment I kept convincing my brain to be ready. "Daisy Claudius?" A nurse walked into he waiting room and called out. I stood up. I was nervous that was clear from my shaking and my wide eyes.
"You look nervous, coming for a pregnancy test?" The nurse asked as we headed to the office but I shaked my head. "Relax, STDs are not killer disease...well apart from HIV." She said and I felt the heat travelling to my head. "Thank you." I answered not caring what she'll think. I have more to worry about. "Here." She said pointing to a door that had a sign on top written 'Dr. Ken Mulin'. "Thank you." I said again but it came out as a whisper. She smiled and walked back. I knocked on the door, trying to cool my nerves down. "Come in." A male voice said from the other side. I opened the door hesitantly and I was in.
"Have a sit Miss....Claudius." He said swiflty confirming my name and I smiled, I knew it barely looked real. "Care to tell me what the problem is." He said looking at me. He had a pen in his hand and he suddenly leaned his elbows in the table and breathed.
At that moment I realized I didn't know how to say this to him. "I want to undergo multiple tests..." I said then took a deep breathe to calm down. "STDs and pregnancy test." I added. His eyebrows rose then he narrowed his eyes on me. "You have to be honest , did you have sex with someone you suspect has STDs?" He asked.
"No." I said bitterly. I was a virgin well until Saturday night.
"Then why would you take the tests." He said. I breathed heavily and I felt his eyes narrowing to me again. "I'm just trying to help and I need you to trust me on this so be honest. Anything you say in this room won't leave this room so please let me know what's the problem."
I was raped and I'm scared I might be pregnant or having gonorrhea or chancroid or HIV. My brain gave me the statement. "Don't cry, hey." He suddenly said and I looked up to him and that's when I realized tears were flowing down my cheeks.
He stood up from his seat and went to his door. I heard him locking the door. I didn't turn I just stayed still. "Here," He said handing me tissue and a bottle of water. He then sat next to me away from his chair and looked deep into my eyes. I noticed he was not that old. He looked like he was in his mid 30s maybe.
"Talk to me." He said and those words just made me overflow. My emotions took the best of me and I couldn't stop. It kept flowing and flowing and flowing. He was kind enough, he kept handing me a tissue and holding my shoulder.
After a series of ocean...or let's call it over flow. I decided to tell the gynecologist everything that happened. "Is it someone you know?" He asked after all my blurting out. I nodded still feeling emotional. "Who is he?" He asked. "Mike, a friend." I said. "Tell me about this Mike."
Mike and Dylan were friends not that close but I got to know Mike through Dylan. Mike eyed me first and tried to make a move but I felt he wasn't right for me. He came from a well of family and his dad was an official at a top government office and he was a respectable man. He was too much of a cool kid, rich and always felt himself to the brim. His confidence was up on the roof.
Me not taking him in made him mad and he always threatened to make me pay for rejecting him. The threats became more often when I started dating Dylan who was the total opposite of him. Dylan was humble and kind then I guess.
"You should have reported this, I know how much all that reporting is just so much to take in but it's the right and the appropriate thing to do. He has gotten away with it now and he'll always try to get to you again and again knowing there is nothing you can do." The doc says and it dawns in me that this is the first person I've told about my rape.
"I know Doc, I just...I called my boyfriend to let him know but he's just..." I stopped saying the word. I meant he's is an asshole. "He's mad?" I shake my head. "He doesn't care..well I feel he doesn't care about me anymore ever since he went to campus." I say.
"Look..." The doctor says looking at me. He then took my hands in his. "How old are you?" He asks and I wonder how is my age connected to all this then I remember my mother's statement. 'You are too young to have boyfriend issues. If a boyfriend kicks you in the ass kick him back before he marries you and turns you to a slave.'
"19." I say. He smiles warmly. "I want to help you, I'm not a therapist but I'm going to learn from you. What you need is some counseling and you'll be fine. You fucked up by taking a bath and not reporting." He laughed and I wondered how he felt confident using a youthful word like 'fucked up'. I laughed back weakly. "I'll do the tests and then we start a session of counselling don't worry I won't charge for that." He says and I become immediately confused. "Why do you want to help me...I mean that much?" I ask and he smiles again warmly then answers. "My daughter was raped when she was 22 years of age. She didn't let me and the mother know. Instead she told her boyfriend and he helped her luckily. He took her to the hospital and she was helped. Unlike you she didn't take a shower till the next day when her boyfriend rushed her to the hospital. I felt bad for her not letting me or the mother know, I felt like she didn't trust us with such an important information."
"Ooh." Was all I could say. At that moment I noticed my parents were in their early forties and I was 19 and the first born. "How old are you?" I blurted my thoughts out. "Very much older than I look." He answered and laughed. The heavy air around lightened up. "The man was caught and taken to prison and to make it more interesting. The man was a neighbor and he was HIV positive. So my daughter did the right thing because right now she could have been HIV positive. Maybe I would have been mad at her and claim she slept with multiple men to get the disease."
I started sweating. What if I was positive too. Or maybe pregnant. Well pregnancy I can terminate but HIV. Ooh God.
"Relax. We'll do the tests first then know the results what to do next." He said reassuring me. I nodded. He then stood up and went back to his seat. He then opened a couple of drawers and took a card. "Here." He said handing me the card. "That's my card, it's has my both business and personal number. But I prefer you use my personal number. I'm just doing this to feel easy and fill the void my daughter thought I won't fill. Well to someone else's daughter but it's for the best and the least I can do." He said and I nodded.
He then took his telephone from the desk and made a call to the nurse to take blood samples and vaginal fluids for tests. After that he took my number and promised to get back to me in two days with the results. With that I was done and happy that someone was helping me, someone I didn't know but I think I could trust.