While I was immersed in the enchanting mist of the darkness illuminated by the dazzling stars, I was at the same time listening to the eerie silence of the night whispering with an effgan in my ear. As I was freed from the whirlpool of my thoughts, I gave my eyes a gift to the absolute darkness.
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As the harbinger of the morning, the dazzling sun, with its stately yellowness, was warming inside me while hitting its bright warmth as if to wake up, as if to imprison my whole body. While I was rising from my bed, those dark thoughts that made me feel the pain that would never come out of my mind and inside my whole body every time, again, I took a vow as if trying to relieve my fatigue, which is more and more mesid, in my soul.
Then, when it came to my mind that I needed to heat the wraps, I flew out of bed. I ran to the sink without wasting time. While I was brushing my teeth like beating my teeth to keep up with the wraps, when I suddenly raised my head and saw my image in the mirror, I started to examine my face after the laughter that came out of my mouth involuntarily.
My auburn hair, which was actually straight and always shiny, turned into a broomstick, my toothpaste wrapped around my mouth like a circle, while at the same time splashing over my long lashes, which my green glowing eyes carried as I shook my laughter.
I stopped laughing and started washing my face. Without changing my clothes, I immediately ran to the kitchen.
On the counter, I put the wraps we wrapped with my mother yesterday on the stove.
When I breathe, the air that I always feel in the early hours of the morning, slightly cold but at peace when I breathe in, is surrounded by the happiness of starting the day.
I definitely go out on the balcony every morning and forget the burden of this low life, and with all my strength I breathe in the smell of the city, which fills my nose with a gentle wind.
When I turned my head to the balcony, I saw my mother hanging clothes in the garden. I was filled with joy. My love for my mother was quite great. It was the only light I had in this black life.
I never wanted to lose it. Every day my longing for my father was increasing multiple times and I could not lose someone more, I could not bear it.
My father was a great sailor. When I was little, he could only come every two months to see me, and that day, when I was eight, my father, who came on the second of every month, had not come that day. Moreover, on my birthday. I was offended by my little mind because it did not come to him, and my mother kept saying your father would come, as if to console me.
We were waiting for my mother and father to come as time progressed unceasingly. We were silent and calm at the same time, my mother is always afraid when my father comes home late. One day, just because his ship would sink and something would happen, and today my father was too late to have left before.
We were watching the race of the hands and the hands. With the numerals embroidered with fine craftsmanship on the wall, the elegant escape of the elegant hour hand of the silver-leaf clock and the chase of the thin long minute hand I wanted it to end for a moment. When my father came, he would continue again, but I was aware that the minute hand and the scorpion, which never stopped chasing each other, now brought the night.
When I saw my mother deep in thought on the windowsill, I was content with watching her, and yes, I think the moment had come when we and my mother waited for two months. As soon as I heard the knock on the door, I jumped up. My mother, on the other hand, took her eyes from the window and met my eye with a shiver. While looking at each other, I noticed that my mother suddenly started laughing with laughs. When I saw him happy like this after a long time, I responded in the same way. I did not want to keep my father waiting any longer, and with my gnawing excitement, I headed towards the door.
"My father came, my father came."
I opened the door with all my might as if trying to throw out the joy inside me. At that time my mother went to buy my birthday cake because my father had promised me. As soon as we arrived, we would blow the candles together at the door, but this is what the people I saw in front of me said disappointment, so this magical life was dragging me into secret thoughts again.
I called my father as a hope among the police at the door, but the disease called disappointment found me again, my father was not. Perhaps the turning point of my life, the sad course of which had begun, then.
In a tone of voice as if to get the answer I want
"Where's my daddy?"
I noticed that my mother was behind me with my birthday cake in her hand. The cops are looking towards my mom
"Are you Zeliha ER?"
My mother in a hectic voice
"Yeah yeah me"
"Unfortunately, I have a bad situation to explain to you, but it would be more appropriate if we talk about it alone."
My mother turned to me with her shrill voice and full eyes
"Come on, Mavi, you go to your room, my beautiful girl."
I did what my mother said and went to my room, but I could not stop while my curiosity gnawed my mind.
When I was fighting my curiosity and praying with my whole self, pleading for that thing that came to my mind not to happen, I had already suffered. Without noticing my mother, I went behind the door and started to listen, and the sentences made by the police froze my mind. This couldn't be my tears eyes It was impossible for me to stop him as I was trying to flow from me.
They flowed softly onto my cheeks, without any effort to liberate them. I still couldn't comprehend what the cops said,
"Kenan ER could not return from his last time. At the same time, his body has not been found yet. We will inform you of the developments, but unfortunately it is not possible that he is alive until this time, thank you."
But he was my father, he could not die that my mother's birthday cake, which she made with great happiness and imagining happiness in her hands while she could not stop her body mixed with sadness and sadness, slipped from her palms like all the happy dreams we had, and my mother's alive body, which was always struggling with difficulties, collapsed. it was piled up. Afterwards it was like walking in the dark without a torch ...
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My mother, on the other hand, had to marry a man she did not love four years ago, in order to take care of me, she could not manage the hollding that my father raised and directed after his death. He could not accept my father's departure, and hollding finally sank, it was not just hollding, it was my father's labor, it was my father's sweat.
My mother always tells me, I wish I would take care of the father's trust instead of grieving in those years. He would say if I hadn't let his forehead wasted.
But there is always something he is content with. I, another entrusted to my father, did not sweat a little to take care of me, my mother did not clean the dirt of the people a little, I do not know how I can pay my debt to him. For four years he kept suffering from a man he didn't like for me. Not that
I no longer put up with the pain she inflicted on my mother and sent her where she deserved.
FIVE MONTHS AGO
"God damn, leave my mother"
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't save it. Every time my mother hit her from the hand of this deprived of humanity, my heart was shattered. I couldn't stand it anymore
"Don't do it, don't do it"
As I hit my face with a violent slap
"Well, go ahead and beat you like your mother, don't make me crazy. What about mother disguised?"
The dishonest man, as soon as I left the door, I went to my mother. His face was covered with blood and deep bruises were formed in his eyes, and I stared at his eyes, which were swollen from weeping.
"It's all going to happen, don't worry my mother. I know I will do it to her, she won't even be able to raise her hand to you anymore."
When I heard her painful moaning while hugging my mother, I let her tears flow like a river into the sea of despair.
I was supposed to save my mother from this situation and she had only one solution.
That was the only thing I could do and I was going to do it! I slowly put my mother's head on the sofa. I immediately rushed to the kitchen, grabbed the bread knife and went to the room where he was.
It was as if my eyes were darkened, I was no longer in a position to bear this injustice to my mother. I could not stand it.
I kicked open the door of the room. With a violent scream, I plunged the knife into his stomach, before I had time for the man who was stabbing his cigarette inside and was a news of what was to come. Listening to his moaning while the fire burning inside me did not cease to be a relief, it was a remedy for what they made me feel like.
As I slowly began to wake up, I realized that whatever I was doing was not right.
The knife I held in my hand, drenched in the blood of that degenerate, had fallen unintentionally from my palms, my legs were no longer helping me to stand, as if I had lost my resistance, I leaned against the wall, but it was not happening, I lost my strength. My body was rubbing against the wall, meeting the cold floor. I placed both hands on my forehead as my hands trembled as the storm made the tree resilient. I was thinking about what happened, pulling my knees towards my chest. After being in this state for about five minutes, I turned my head towards her with my mother's voice.
"My daughter, what have you done?"
With my filling eyes and trembling voice
"I saved you, my mother will not interfere anymore, I saved you"
After my mother hugged me, staring at my crying eyes
"Why did you do that, my mother?"
While my mother was frozen by the surprise of the incident, I gathered my resistance and picked up the phone to call the police.
"Hello! Police?"
When my mother noticed that I was calling the police, she took the phone from my hand and threw it against the window.
"What are you doing, are you shining yourself?"
When my mother's voice echoes through the house
"What am I doing, mother, do I notify you? Do you think I can live without being punished when I am guilty? Would you do it, mother, would you live without punishment? You taught me, you said that, mother! They will come too late now."
As screams reign in the house
My mother is crying
"Don't do it my daughter, please don't do it, what will I do without you"
It was as if the pain in his heart was reflected in his voice, I couldn't stand it and I hugged him.
But it was not what we thought. It was that man who was tried for violence against women and went to jail. I was aware that my mother was happy now. I say good luck, what happened that day happened. I did it well and I never regret it again