*Ana*
"Where is she?" I can't help but look up from the book to check the clock. Bad idea. It only makes me more aware of the time.
It's already morning. I should already be bathed and dressed. At the very least, I should have had my breakfast by now.
But I am still alone. Maddie never came back last night.
"Surely, it doesn't take this long to deliver a letter." Did Maddie get lost or something? Or did she fall into some gossip?
"Maddie," I shake my head.
I swear if she got caught up gossiping with the laundry girls again-
"Maddie, You are going to get quite an earful." And then some, I return to the book.
Silly Maddie, but it does seem likely though. Maddie does get distracted.
And if that's the case, I'm sure she'll tell me all about it soon enough. Any minute now, she will come bursting in.
'Ana, guess what I heard. You won't believe it, but-' She will go and excitedly gush over all the details.
And I will just have to sit and listen. Until she tires herself out, she won't stop. My lips curl into a small smile.
Maddie is quite silly like that.
I look up at the door, half expecting to burst in right now. Maddie comes pushing through with a giant smile.
'Ana!' Her voice booming
But the good feeling slips away the more ticks the clock gives.
It really is getting a bit late, isn't it?
I check the time again.
Shouldn't Maddie be back by now?
"This is very unlike her." I give up on the book and get up. The room feels so still and quiet. An unsettling feeling crawls up my arms to rest over my chest.
"Oh," I realize why. I forgot what it felt like.
It's been a long time since I've been alone like this.
"Alone," I hold my arms. My breath feels tight as if the air is thin.
What if- what if Maddie does it too? A surge of forgotten familiarity runs up my back. I thought it was all behind me but I'm wrong.
It's back in full force.
What if it finally happened? I can't help but fall deeper. What if, Like all those other maids, what if she decided to quit, too?
What if Maddie doesn't come back? What if I never get to see her anymore?
What if-
"Stop it," I shake my head. Maddie wouldn't do that.
I'm not going to entertain such childish fears.
I won't. Instead, I will read. I go to my chair to flip open the book.
"I won't look up to check the time or anything else until Maddie comes back." I sit straight up with the book.
"Maddie's on her way." She is just running late. I flip a page.
"Or she's got caught up somewhere." Maybe not gossiping, but maybe somewhere else.
Perhaps the kitchen?
Yes, they could have a problem in the kitchen. They could be understaffed, or my sweetbreads were burnt. Knowing her, Maddie wouldn't stand by. She'd help.
The more I think about it, the more reasons I come up with. Maddie must have her hands tied at the moment.
But she is coming. I keep telling myself.
Any moment, she will come. I will hear the door and-
I nearly throw the book at the knock on the door.
Finally! I rush over to the door.
"Maddie! What took you so long?" Pulling it open so fast pushes my hair back in a whoosh.
"I've been waiting-" I mid-say as the air drops out of my mouth. My eyes blink to refocus on the towering shape.
However, this isn't- I open the door wider, not so much to let her in, and it doesn't look like she wants to. She stays standing in the doorway.
"Your Empress," Aunt Funda bows slightly.
"Aunt Funda…" I try my best to control my unease. Why is she here?
I perk up at the sound of footsteps. But, again, fall at the sight. It's not Maddie.
Two guards are coming over. They are armed with their swords out. Their eyes are darting around as if alert.
Why are there guards? I swallow to feel it sink into my stomach.
And why the security? Did something happen?
Did something happen to Maddie?
Again, something creeps up my skin. I swallow, but a ball forms in the back of my stomach. It won't go down. No matter how hard I try.
"Aunt Funda?" I look back to her for answers. But Funda is holding her face. It's not quite a smile, but it's not a sneer.
"What brings you here?" Something doesn't feel right. I swallow again.
The guards are looking at me. No. They're not looking at me. It's my hair.
My hair. I nearly forgot. The shawl isn't on.
That doesn't make me feel any better.
"Your Empress," Aunt Funda starts. A slight curve twists up the side of her lip.
"Something has happened."
"Something?". The slimy ball breaks from its spot to travel down my throat and drop into my stomach with a sour splash.
"An emergency court has been set. You are needed."
"Emergency?" Again, I find myself suddenly alone, even with Aunt Funda standing right there. The guards, too, are no comfort.
I pull in my arms. Half wishing to just crawl back inside. It's not safe without her.
But it's not like I can say no.
"Very well," I breath and march ahead. My halls are empty, so we move rather quickly. But I notice more people about the further we go in.
Servants and Nobles are filling the hall. But something is off. They whisper and bow their heads with anxious eyes.
Is everyone just standing around? It's almost too crowded to move.
Is the whole palace here? It looks like it.
Save for Maddie. I don't see her anywhere.
Her absence is starting to haunt me.
"All bow for Empress Anastasia." The servant pulls open the door as another bellows.
If the hall was crowded, the court room is packed. I find Uncle Charles and Mykhol by the throne. Their faces are still and cold as I take my seat. For Uncle, this is normal.
But seeing Mykhol this way is unnerving.
This must be serious, then. I realize. If Mykhol is serious about it, I take another hard swallow before hiding my unease.
"Continue." I motion for everyone to rise. Eyes come to me, but some turn to Mykhol.
Does he know something?
"Cousin Mykhol, what has happened?"
"A spy's been caught, your Empress." Mykhol motions to the guards.
"Bring forth the prisoner."
A pair of guards drag a third between them by the arms at his words. The third looks like a woman by her physic. But she is in bad shape.
Have they beaten her? It instantly pulls my stomach, but I can't dwell on it. There is something more distinct that I have to find fault with.
They have tied a bag over her head. This is not protocol. This cruel.
"A spy?" I frown back at Mykhol before eyeing beyond him. Again, I see just about everyone.
But not her.
Where is Maddie? Again, the ball forms behind my throat to crawl down with a swallow.
"Cousin Mykhol?" My breath hitches as I look back at the woman.
And who is this woman? Something pulls in the back of my mind the more I look at her. She's familiar in some way.
I feel like I know her from somewhere. Her clothes are of some maid. But the only maid I know well enough would be, Wait, no!
"Cousin, I -" I turn, hoping to stop him, but I am too late.
"Remove the bag."
The guards move without hesitation. One yanks the bag free to reveal the dweller beneath.
"Is that-" The room gasps around me before growing muffled.
Freezing cold air hits my lungs like plunging headfirst into water. It stops everything but the sound of a thump. My heart. Beating hard in my ears.
"It-" And then glass shatters. Suddenly everyone is speaking. Rushed tongues are wagging as people around me are pointing.
Every word hits my ears. Stinging and stabbing in my head. I can't breathe between the sounds.
My lungs burn for air. I gasp. A cold, hard, shrill, like sound that is the most solid thing around. Because underneath me, I feel nothing safe. Everything is sliding out from under me.
But I can't look away.
This can't be. I blink. I swallow. I breathe.
It couldn't be. It couldn't.
It's not true. I shake my head, but it won't go away. Why won't it go away?
Please, no. tell me it's not true.
But my mouth betrays me. It's moving faster than I can catch it. Lips form to breathe out the name.
"Maddie?"