*Ana*
"No, I can't do this." I crumble the paper and toss it on the ground. It lands amongst the others.
"Maybe I should give up?" Why is this so hard to do?
"What was wrong with this one, Ana?" Maddie picks it up to unfold and read.
"This one looks fine."
"It's not." It's bad; they all are. There are balls of paper all over the floor. All rejects that weren't good.
I just can't seem to get it right.
"It's too hard." I clench my hands. "I'm just not good at this."
"I think we should just pretend this never happened and-" Just carry on like before, but Maddie is spreading the paper out before me.
"Maddie-"
"I'm telling you, this one is fine." Maddie steps back. "I mean it. Let's use this one."
"But Maddie. It's not-" But Maddie is shaking her head.
"You are being too critical of yourself. It is fine. Here, I'll even read it out loud."
"No, please don't-" But I'm too late as Maddie starts.
"To Prince Nicoli,"
"Maddie-" But she throws up her hand at me.
"I hope you will find this letter in good health. I've heard it continued to snow after I left. It's hard to imagine. I've never seen so much snow.
Please remember to wear your coat and turn in before it gets too dark. I would be beside myself if you caught a cold, so please take care."
"Maddie," I stiffen at the next part. It is the most difficult section and the one I've struggled the hardest with.
Even though she knows, she gives a warm smile before going on.
"But this isn't the reason I write. My purpose is to take full responsibility for what happened. You have suffered a great loss of your kitten. I can not apologize enough."
I squeeze my arms and look down as the memories of that cursed morning resurface.
"Maddie, really." But Maddie holds my shoulder. It feels warm and helps. A little.
"I hope, with time, you can find it in your heart to forgive me. And one day, we can meet once more. Your loving sister, Empress Anastasia." Maddie finishes reading the last part.
"Until you write back, I will be waiting."
Maddie folds the letter with a smile.
"See? I told you it's fine."
Maddie squeezes my shoulder.
"Let's send this out."
"But what if it doesn't work?" I hold my hands.
"It's one thing to write to him. But I don't know if he-" I can't even finish before Maddie moves to hold my hands.
"Have heart, sweetie." Maddie squeezes my fingers. The pressure helps lift a heaviness in my chest that I didn't know was there, making it easier to breathe.
Again, I feel tears, but they're not as salty.
"Thank you," I whisper and look up. Maddie smiles after me with another of her smiles.
But it's so much more than just a smile. I know it. Maddie cares. And she cares for me.
Not just as a maid. It's something more. Something more solid.
Maybe almost as much as a mother would?
My lip quivers at the thought because it's true. To me, Maddie is the closest thing I have to one.
Maddie is that important to me.
I don't know where I would be without her.
"I appreciate your kind words, Maddie."
"Any time, my lady." Maddie, let's go. She turns to start sealing the letter into the envelope before something comes to mind.
It's silly; I know it is, but at the same time, I want to do it.
"Wait, Maddie!"
"Yes?"
"Could you…" It seems silly to ask, and my cheeks turn hot at the idea.
"I know it's childish, but…In case it might work-that spell you did. Could you…do it again?"
"My spell?" Maddie lifted a brow in surprise.
I grow a little hotter, feeling more silly, but I must commit to it as well.
"It worked…last time. I got to meet brother- and father because of it."
"Ah, yes, that spell." Maddie grinned. "I thought you said it was silly?"
"Well, I changed my mind." I look down, fully embarrassed now. "So, if you could do another- but this time, can it be for luck?"
"Luck, is it?"
"Yes. I…I want luck to be on my side this time. So when Brother gets this, he'll want to write back." I take in a breath and muster all my courage to look up.
"Please, Maddie. If you can?"
"Of course I will, you silly nit." Maddie cuts in with a laugh. It's loud and rich, but it's warm.
And her smile is even warmer.
"I'll do anything for you."
Maddie stoops down to press her lips on my forehead.
"You deserve so much more. I'll set my life on it."
Without further pushing, Maddie moves. I watch the stamp get pulled up, and she draws. This time, it is two hearts inside a crown.
Something about it feels very encouraging. But I still have to ask.
"This will give me luck?"
Maddie pressed down the stamp.
"More luck than you'll ever need." Maddie goes before frowning as the stamp curls up a little.
"Pesky bugger." She curses, licks her finger to reset the glue, and presses down again.
"You'll get sick of it." Maddie winks before attacking me with a kiss on the cheek.
"How silly." I rub at the sensation. It feels weird, but Maddie looks happy.
"I'll send this out now, my lovely Ana." Maddie curtsies and turns swiftly away on her mission.
"Come back when you're done." I wave, seeing her go. A warm, light air fills my chest now, and it makes me smile a little.
The spell will work. I know it will. I can feel it working already.
We'll be together again soon, Nicoli.
"Everything is going to be alright." I look up at the clock, anxious for Maddie to return. It shouldn't take her long to send it out.
But what should take minutes turns into hours and then a whole night.
And still, Maddie never returned.