I'd have wished you revealed it sooner.
A life of ashes, being swept away every encounter to be had, and I am going to the center of it all.
Losing every part of my being. Piece by piece, I tear myself down, only to experience another round of abundant destruction. I will keep losing who I am, looking for what I need to do, hoping to once again be happy, praying that this is all just a dream. Finding ways to bury my pain will continue with an unrivaled and excruciating hurt that will leave me, with yet again, another hopeless future, and another futile struggle.
Torn apart, I will walk this path screaming and blinded, being fed to those who make me more hurt, and will leave me as but another shell that I no longer have the strength to come out off. 'The ending is close', again I think to myself an uncountable amount of times. Never escaping this path I am walking, never forgetting what monsters are lurking in the dark, and never again trusting anyone for my care. This experience made me aware, it made me think, it made me panic, and it made me die a million times with no mercy. But most of all, it made me forget who I really am, because in mind, I am no longer even alive, I am no longer human. I have no more existence.
I am ``worthless``.
Or maybe I will again find true happiness after this experience, in contrast from the three paragraphs that was just said. Maybe I'll again be able to recover, dealing with the things my new significant other, and again regain my clarity that was just lost in the battlefield that I had participated in... Or maybe I'm just being too hopefull...
I have no knowledge of what might happen after this. I have no choice to choose, only god has that power. The bitterness that this life have just given me is unbearable, this life gives me a chance, but a moment later, it takes it away. It's cruel. It really is, in such an uncanny amount of resemblance. What will happen to me; I don't know. What will become of me; I don't know. What can I expect; that is not for me to decide.
But what I do know; is that I will never give in, no matter what faces me I will not run away. I have my pride. I have ``Faith``.