Waking up to sunlight in your eyes has to be the worst feeling in the world. Groggy and disoriented I manage to get out of bed. Something feels different but I can't figure out what it is, I grab my towel and jump in the shower.
The water trails down my face like reminiscent tears and I feel something stir within me. The feeling grows stronger but I still can't grasp what it is.
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The room feels tense as I take my seat at the kitchen table. My head feels like it's been hit with a brick and I hold my head in my hands. I hear my sister enter the room and sit down. The chef shortly brings out breakfast and I didn't realise how hungry I was. He adorns the table with waffles, pancakes, berry compote, whipped cream, sausages, bacon, eggs, sauteed mushrooms and tomatoes alongside a large pile of muffins and toast. My mouth waters and I immediately dig in but notice that my father and sister are hesitant. I look up at them questioningly as I shove yet another forkful of food into my mouth. I watch as my father and sister exchange a look. Grace then fills her plate full of food, kiss my father on the cheek and gives me a reassuring smile before leaving the room.
I look back at my father and see him already looking at me. His gaze is intense and I haven't experienced this since he told us about our mother. As he begins to speak, the feeling that I couldn't name this morning shows its true colours. The fork clatters out of my hand as my headache intensifies at his words.
"Will, please try and understand this from her side. She left to protect you, to let you live your life again without fear or harm. She left you a letter if you wish to read it. However …"
I don't register anything more he says, the tears that were lining my lower lids run free and before I can hold it back, a sob leaves my body. I hear a chair move and when I look up I'm greeted by my fathers face. I try to stand so that I don't seem weak but my body betrays me and my legs give out. He reaches out for me and holds me as I fall to the ground. I've never felt so vulnerable in my life and my father seems to understand that.
"Why did she have to leave?" I scream. I look at dad and he looks upset himself. "She made everything feel right again dad, I can't lose her. Please! There has to be something we can do". I plead with him but he just looks at me with a sad look in his eyes. He holds me tighter as I shake my head and cry. My head spins a million miles an hour as the headache grows more intense. I feel a drop of water hit the back of my neck and I realise that dad is now crying too. I'm confused but in too much pain to think. The last thing I remember before the dark takes over is my father's warm embrace.
When I wake again the first thing I see is the glass of water and my pain medications sitting on the bedside table. I smile a little and reach for the painkillers. Just as I'm setting the glass back down, the door opens and Grace walks in. She smiles at me and hugs me before leaving again. I lay back down and realise she left my phone on the bedside table. I smile slightly, pick it up and dial.
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The tears keep rolling as my phone falls onto the floor. I leave it there as I throw on a hoodie, grab some keys and head to the garage. I look all around for it and see it on the far end. I run towards it and jump into the car. I'm halfway down the road before I start to calm at all. I remember the CD stack in the glove box and I play her favourite. It has the desired effect and I find myself calming down the more I drive. I park the car out the front and run inside. Marcus clings to my leg and I realise that they're all in the middle of dinner. Martha gives me a small smile and gestures to the seat at the end of the table. Sitting down, she grabs me a bowl of food and I join them all. After dinner I find myself upstairs in her bed, my eyes struggling to stay open. I hear the door open and little footsteps run to the bed and curl up into my stomach. I feel the little person shake and as I succumb to the darkness, I see Marcus sobbing into my shirt.