Elowen?"
Muffled voices circle and linger above me like mist. I can't see anything but I know Cardea's panicking because I hear her footsteps shuffling nervously around my room, but I wish she would stop. I hate how the sound of it echoes in my empty room and empty brain and doesn't stop until it's gotten to my deepest point.
I try to focus on my surroundings but a piercing ringing sound prevents me from focusing on anything. It pulses like a heartbeat.. and suddenly
I'm drowning
but I don't care.
I won't claw or cling for my life.
I gasp with acceptance for the end.
A white-blue light blankets my vision... it reminds me of the dragonflies that I caught with Tobias and I wonder if people can still remember things like this after they die. I can hear Leopold playing his song on the Piano again.
I thought it was over?
"Elowen" A deep female voice summons me. My feet are tickled by the sudden appearance of tall grass and wild cosmos.
It's the garden of my soul.
I walk towards a Gondola I see in the distance. It glows in the single stream of sunlight and as I approach it, I can hear the calming and steady song of raindrops hitting the roof even though it isn't raining and there is no roof.
"Elowen" the voice repeats.
I look around and see no one so I sit in the Gondola expecting something magical to happen, but nothing does.
"Elowen, why are you here so early?" the voice starts talking to me again but I can't locate the owner of it.
"Who are you? Why can I not see you? Please come out!" I exclaim.
"It's Io. Io as in i-o."
"Oh okay.. Io..." the name is unfamiliar but tells me otherwise since there's something warm about it.
"Am I dead?" I ask bluntly looking down at my lap. My life wasn't the best but I'm sad for some reason; I didn't think it was time yet.
"I believe you are... but it wasn't supposed to happen so quickly. I've noticed you're too passive."
Passive. Passivity. That's what he called me yesterday too. Passive. Why am I so passive? That's how Renee ruined me. No. Renee didn't ruin me. I ruined myself because I was passive.
I never did anything to defend myself. Why was I stupid? I accepted everything life gave me whether it was good or bad. I never changed anything for myself. No. I didn't want to. I didn't protect myself or fight for myself. Why? Is this what it was all about?
"Haha. Dead people only come when they're ready but you've just messed everything up so bad. Dead people only die because they've fulfilled their own purpose and their soul was ready to move on. You're strange... but at the same time, nothing would've changed. You didn't do anything. They say I should send you back. Would you fulfill your desires if you could live again?"
No. Would I? Why should I?
"Elowen is a stubborn one I see. But you're telling me you want to live."
"No!" I look up at the sky, still trying to find whoever Io is. "Who says I want to live?"
Io's giggle circles around me. I spin around to follow it.
"Trust me, you do. It's the will of your conscience. But you can't live forever... there would be no point in that. Go back. I'll let you since life's been unfair."
"No! I said no! Life was good, it was good to me! Don't take me back." I started to sob because I really didn't. It really hurt and how could I face anyone? "Don't take me back.. please..." I sobbed.
"Don't worry, Elowen. I'll give you time to make it up. I promise."
As soon as Io said that, I felt the air knock out of my body.
"Pleaseee..." I gasped as a single tear dropped from my eye but floated with the air around me. "no..."
And it was beginning again.