Some people say that we should forget the past to move on and continue our life to make the future better than before , in my opinon the past never dies and we need to learn from it even if it still haunt us , the problems that we made, the struggles that faced us we were kids i dont blame it but still the past has a big value in creating the future , so every one who adviced "forget it and move on" they are lying and just repeating the words that their therapist tells them
i still remember that days , elementary school days, one of the worst years of my life, it all started getting worst since the second grade specifically that day.
Once , i went to school early , mother told me to break my usual routine she had to go out early that day . im used to arrive at school before 2 minutes of starting the lessons , that day i arrived before thirty minutes and no big surprise all the clowns were already in class of course that thirty minutes are so precious , well , i didnt have a good feeling about to be honest i was afraid of what can happen.
when i entered to the classroom , all that chaos shut down and felt observed by everyone they were probly glaring at me disgusted i feel it because i cant look up but i if i do it all i see are just some blurred faces.
Quickly i went to my place nervous , i can feel the dark atmosphere of hate and mockery , they were all looking at me with the devil eyes some of them were laughing ,some of them were making fun of me and some of them start shading me in without giving any importance to my existence «did she came early today thats unusual» « yeah thats weird»«look who is here to ruin the best thirty minutes ,it's the brain who come messing around »«no dude she is devil she's acting cold and normal in real life but inside she wishes that she could end this world and make her self a new god of it im not gonna let her»«bro you aren't a main character of an anime stop being childish but you have a point there's a monster inside her i don't believe in her»« im not happy after seeing her around »«same here» «y'all didn't you hear about her father's death , he got..... At that moment i glared them till the point that one of them peed in his pants, i still remember it what a shame
i didn't hold it more «aren't y'all those
crybabies who literally annoy every one for being childish and weak listening to you shading me literally make me wanna explode of laughing arent y'all the same kids that
Cry when y'all forget your bento aren't yall the same kids who cry when they drop their pens on the floor then you annoy us more if someone got it under his feet, right?
At that moment ,most of them started crying and others run away but one them approach to me and looked at me in the face trembling « at least we got what you're lacking , look at your self dumbass do you call your self a human for having no friends , no feelings , no family alone no one by your side....
-do you think they will stay always by your side did you ever though about it, the fact that everyone can betray you and leave you one day ,the answer is never cause you are dumb and you suck .
No reaction after it he remained silent and he gained his place speechless ,the rest of the class were shocked and the class entered in some kind of creepy silence but still who won this conversation it was me i don't need anyone, look at me i defeated a whole class alone i was so proud cause i thought before going to the class staying in the wc of the school was better, i was running away from problems , i cant handle anymore it's exhausting but after what happened now i think i should giving up about that idea cause running away is easy but leaving is hard i need to learn to face problems for my own good , the road just started and it's too long but i think i can make an end to it but still it's too early but did we end it right now ......
i forgot i shouldn't interrupt this long chain of thoughts by overthinking ....
The mess didn't end over there , after all the thirty minutes didnt come to an end , what i was worried about happened when i saw her entering to the class....
TO BE CONTINUED