Dear myself,
Why do things so unjust? It appears when not needed and unseen when you want it the most.
After the incident the other day, I can't bear to show my face in front of Mr Costello. He's my colleague and we're in the same building yet I don't know him. What worst is he made me realized my fault.
If I have the power to disappear, why not choose for a while to lessen the guilt?
"Miss Sandoval and Mister Costello, both of you are assigned to facilitate the upcoming event on a Mathematics and Science Consortium since you are both excellent in these two areas," our school principal claimed. "I have high hopes between the two of you. That's all. You may go."
Then, we went out of the room. I tried my best to compose myself.
"I'm free this afternoon." He said.
"Okay, we can meet at the school auditorium," I said as I excused myself because I still have classes to attend. The rest of the hours became peaceful though my guilt still haunts me. I can't distinguish how bad my manner is. The afternoon came, I went to the venue.
I made myself busy doing school matter. I'm blessed as well that Vener was professional, he doesn't mention anything. I'm lucky that he doesn't raise a question about me or anything personal.
"About the participants in the other school, I already informed them about the tentative date via email." He said then he gave me a bottle of water. He even indicates all the list of events, showcase booths, purchase materials and so on.
"That fast?" I asked and he nodded. I accepted the water and gulp in half. So another guilt listed in my system. I can't blame myself for being space out in the meeting and not listening carefully. So I just agreed and agreed during the meeting. "It's my task to finalized then. Just send me the details."
After school, I immediately went home and did my usual routine. I spent the night and the following days doing my part. I was ashamed of my manner that seems like I was degrading myself. I was happy because there were no distractions. If yes, I don't know what to think.
Weeks had passed preparing for the consortium, I can say that Vener was a type of a guy that was responsible. Though almost all the work to be accomplished was credited with him, I didn't even hear a single comment or complaint, from a simple thing to a complex one. He was a smart guy so I'm not shocked if it turns out to be successful. Our principal and other visitors congratulated us. "Thanks for trusting our potential."
But others say that not all responsible person is responsible in all aspects. Even those who are responsible for almost everything, when it comes to love they are not.
How I wish there was a hint or reminder inscribed all over the guy's faces the first time we saw them. Don't you think, we deserve to have a warning? Don't you think we all deserve the pain? I doubt. Whatever it is, that's life!
The next day, it rains. Even the next day.
I remembered those days when it will rain. During my high school days, when the school bus can't make it on time to get us, it's our time to play in the rain. Those old days that I didn't need to worry if I will be scolded because I didn't bring a raincoat or umbrella. Those days that we chose to left our things in the closet and only our lunch box remained. Those days that I didn't bother if I will get picked the next day yet my priorities is to have fun. Those days were so innocent.
Those memories are left unheard.
The droplets of rain hit the ground, chiming lightly. It created a steady beat as the soft drizzle turned into heavy rain. Looking up at the sky, I wondered if the rain would continue until the afternoon. It was unusual to rain in this month, usually the sun still shining giving a hot temperature, but that didn't mean it would happen. Climate change would be.
My white shoes were starting to get soaked. The navy blue, full-length denim jacket that I was wearing prevented my school staff outfit from getting wet. I also keep my bag from getting wet so I maintained a way to level my umbrella between my chin and shoulder.
In my peripheral view, I saw a guy standing on the other side. At first, I didn't recognise who it was but moments later, the guy was Mister Costello. He was wearing our school staff outfit. He wears a boyish smile and a confident stance like how he used to. He seems not bothered if there could go wrong for him. He didn't complain about the delay. I wanted to have a mindset like him but that trait didn't seem to fit with my way of thinking behaviour. I was about to call him but I chose not to. What will I say? He didn't even glance in my direction though we are just meters apart.
I stood up on my toes, checking out for any indication of the bus or any public transportation. Ten minutes had passed since it's the last trip and it was starting to get late.
Some students from the other school waited. One student started to groaned and another one was busy playing with his Rubik's cube.
After a while, I heard a honk so I looked up and finally, an empty bus. I checked my watch. I was confident, we'd still make it to school on time. I sighed in relief.
We boarded the bus and finding my seat was an issue. "Can I seat beside you?"
Vener asked and I nodded without hesitation.
"Is anyone got inside?" the driver asked.
"No one, sir," a student seat in front answered.
"Okay, it takes a longer time than the usual travel because of the slippery road," the driver announced.
The ride going to school was different. Vener and I, don't even chat as if we are not working in the same area and living in the same building. When the bus stopped, we all went down. It was still raining and it looked like it wouldn't stop anytime on this day. As we were walking in the school entrance, Vener talked. "Thank you. We made it successful."
I didn't know what to react but I tried to compose myself. "No, it's you. It should credit on your part."
And that's just the start of our conversation.
Pouring Rain,
Ms A