Dear myself,
I became busy the next day and the following days, I have to accomplish all my reports in my work at the same time to attend my classes in my graduate school. I don't have time to unwind.
Just this day.
My classes had ended at 5 p.m. and I was informed that tomorrow we don't need to attend classes because our professor must attend an urgent conference. I felt delighted by that news. Instead of going home, I found myself going to my famous coffee shop.
"I got a coupon here so there is a discount on my order, right?" I inquired.
"Yes, since you are a regular customer, we have a freebie." I felt special. "What's your order?"
I ordered only coffee, double shot iced tea Americano, not my usual drink. I want to taste new. I'm not fond of eating sweets just like cake. I just want to taste sweet occasionally.
After a minute, they gave my order as well as the freebie, a handmade mug.
"Thank you," Then I went straight to a vacant table and sat in the same spot where I usually seat, near the window and not far from the counter as if it was intended for me.
While sipping on my drink, I got my book and glance at it.
I was drowning myself in reading, a familiar voice caught my attention. A voice that I yearning to hear. A voice that seems new to my ears but it's no because it brought a good pace. I was so sure that it's him.
It seems like I can't sip the coffee that I ordered and even the words noted in the book seems like a stranger. I didn't even grasp the idea. I pretended that I didn't see him. I didn't know if he sees me too. I doubt it because he was busy looking at the menu.
Then, all of a sudden, his eyes roamed around but I pretended I was busy reading hoping he won't see me.
Seeing him near to me but seems so far made my heart cry. Despite that, I am happy that he is now a police officer. Seeing him wearing on his police uniform which he wanted to become in the first place since day one my heart melts. I'm happy about his success.
Then suddenly, a pretty lady wearing a uniform same as his approach him smiling widely.
He gave her a sweet smile. A smile he used to wear when I was with him. It's hard to see that someone made him smile. I can see through his actions the happiness even though he won't tell. Though I can't hear what he was mumbling, his aura tell words endlessly. I don't want to assume or conclude but I was very confident in my assumptions.
I find it heart torturing.
Yesterday was different from today and today is vera y gloomy day. I was so damn tired, both physically and emotionally.
I know that past is part of life. "Past is past," they said but how to let go of the past.
Even though I'm not the reason that he is happy, I understood the concept behind it. We are not meant to each other. We are destined to walk in different ways. That not all stories have a happy ending. There are a certain people are not meant to fit in our life no matter how much we want to be with them.
But I can't deny the fact that it was great and that's it, the story had ended.
All I thought this day made my mind at peace but I was wrong. The exhaustion became worst and clouded with numerous thoughts.
"Would you mind if I share with the table?" a gentle voice approached me. I glanced at the person in front of me. He smiled but I didn't bother myself to respond. I just nodded.
He then pulled the chair and sat. "We meet, again miss."
I frowned at his statement. "You don't remember? I'm the new staff."
Then a realization hit me. Oh, the new faculty member? The new guy and I even saw him on one rooftop. "I'm sorry!"
"It's okay." He uttered. "Not that a big deal."
In peripheral view, I saw him together with the girl went out of the cafe right after getting their order. He held all the take out coffee and the girl held his free hand. It was a sweet gesture but how odd it is because some part of me took it seriously and deduced though sometimes it will give misleading assumptions.
It was final.
"Don't look back. It will lead to a mistaken idea," the boy in front of me said seriously. "What you can see might be a half-truth a half-lie."
How come that this guy said those words recklessly? Did he notice that I'm looking at them especially the girl? Keen observer? Sucks!
"No, it's not. I tell you!" I sheepishly lied yet the thread on his expression, he won't buy it. He looked at me intently.
"But you're eyes speak another way around," he said as I caught on at the act. His words pile in my heart. "Only acceptance is the key."
Acceptance is a big word.
"I know." So, am I the only one who can't let go? I wish I could let go.
"Excuse me, sir! You are badly needed in the staff area. Sorry if I disturbed you," a staff in this coffee shop name Jayson in his template said.
"Okay!" the guy in front of me casually spoke. Then Jayson went to his spot.
"I got to go. By the way, my name is Vener but just call me Ven," he smiled as if nothing had happened, as if he didn't give me a real talk conversation. Then, he left leaving me alone at the table.
After I'm done with my coffee, I immediately went out of the coffee shop.
Accepted,
Ms A