Ever since her outburst in the morning, Yan hadn't spoken a single word.
She didn't know where to go or what to do. Her mind was scrambled.
By the time she came to her senses, she found herself dangling off of the tallest warehouse in the Industrial District. Her snow white ponytail hung upside down, pulled downward by gravity.
Yan considered straightening her legs to plummet to the concrete below. She was about seventy feet from the ground.
So if she landed headfirst, her life would end just like that.
Yan closed her eyes, releasing her legs from the roof.
But before she fell, a voice whispered in her ear. Her fist smashed a hole into the warehouse's wall; her body reacted instinctively to the voice of the Prescript.
She hung precariously, her body limp as she opened her eyes again.
"...What is this." The Prescript given to her was not what she imagined at all.
'Don't die yet.'
Such a simple Prescript, such a simple solution.
"But why should I do that?" For the first time in her life, Yan questioned the Will of the Prescript. If it was all knowing, then why did it tell her to give a Death Prescript to Bellecote, cementing Asher's hate toward her?
And if everything was part of its plan... why? Tears welled in her eyes.
She didn't know which one hurt more:
Whether her belief, engrained into her since before she could remember, was wrong. Or that the Prescripts wanted Asher to hate her. And every part of her life, including her personal relationships, was part of its control.
The voice in her head didn't respond, observing her in silence.
Yan used her hand to swing herself upwards. Now, she sat squarely on the highest point of the roof, overlooking the warehouses below.
She could see the glowing lights of the Neon District, smothering the small strips of land adjacent to the main street.
The Hana Association towered over them all, easily over fifty stories tall. The skyscrapers of the Nest, only faraway shadows amidst the debilitating smog, reaching the clouds and beyond. Those rich folks... she wondered how much better their life was compared to hers.
She resisted the urge to cough. Nearby, one of the crematoriums in the Section glowed from the corpses of yesterday, filling her lungs with powdery ash.
For only a handful of Ahn, one could get the ashes of a loved one scattered into the world. A sweet premise, with dreadful results.
But people didn't stop; burials were too expensive. Thus, the smog of the Backstreets consisted of over twenty percent human ash. Most human bodies didn't get such treatment, either rotting silently or being 'recycled' into food by the gourmets who roamed the street in search of human flesh. They called it the flavor of 'life'.
Her attention was pulled to some commotion down below.
Urgent shouts and the tip-tapping of footsteps.
A man was being chased down by two Fixers. She could tell the pair of women were Dawn Fixers from the stylized sunrise engraved on the sleeves of their brown uniforms.
The man came to a sudden halt, flipping over the Fixers as he twisted his body around, aiming to slit one of their necks.
"Lily, behind you!" The other woman yelled out to her friend, reaching toward her to block the man's hidden knife, but there was no way she could make it in time.
Yan clasped her hands together, grabbing the holographic sword that materialized in her hand and flinging it downward.
Just as the man smirked devilishly, Yan's obsidian blade slammed to the ground, pinning him in place.
He coughed blood as he felt a gaping hole run straight through his chest.
The Index had no tolerance for such troublesome rabble.
"W-Wha..." The man looked up at the two Fixers, but they were just as shocked as he was.
The ominous noise of clinking metal rang above them, like a death toll. As the man's vision faded, the noise stopped.
Then the ground cracked as Yan landed on the ground, revealing herself.
"M-Messenger..." The man croaked one last time, taking one good look at the tiny girl and the white cloak that drooped past her ankles before his eyes glazed over.
The sword disintegrated into blue light as Yan turned toward the shivering Fixers.
Her eyes were closed, her face devoid of any emotion.
"Miss Messenger! Is there anything...?" The two of them backed away slowly, spreading their fingers out in a gesture of peace.
Yan stared at them for a long, long time, before finally opening her mouth.
"Do you hate me?"
Lily shook her head, motivated by her fear toward the little girl.
"No no no! You are m-my savior, miss. How could I possibly hate you? I- You saved us, so please don't..." The girl backed away, shaking her head vigorously to reaffirm her answer.
The two of them froze as Yan furrowed her brows, like she was pondering something.
For all they knew, the Messenger could be deciding whether to kill them or not.
Yan said nothing, leaving them with the man's corpse as she walked away.
The two Fixers looked at each other before sighing in relief.
The reputation of Messengers was engrained into their soul. If anything, the girl's youthful appearance made them even more terrified.
But as Lily's partner glanced back at her, Lily's expression also held a glimmer of... pity?
...
Yan spread her hand out, scanning her palm against an intricate device hidden inside a hollow wall in a random alleyway.
The floor fell out below her, causing her to plummet hundreds of feet into a pure white basement, remarkably similar to the color palette of the Hana Association.
The room was occupied by dozens of white tables and chairs, specks in the white expanse. It was one of the Index's bases, free for all of its members to use.
If they could find a drop point, of course. Whether the members could find one of not was all random chance. Or more correctly, the Prescript's Will.
Currently, the room was cleared out, with three figures playing cards on a table in the center.
Section 12's Proxies of Knowledge, Power, and Chaos were playing a game of cards.
"Hehe, I'm just so lucky~" A bubbly, childish voice echoed in the chamber. The voice was metallic and slurred, hidden behind layers and layers of gold.
Below the Proxy of Chaos' singular glowing eye was a small opening that spewed acrid smoke as she sighed in amusement. This was the seventh time she had won in a row.
Esther tapped the table impatiently as he looked at his hand. It must have been from her meddling. His colleague wouldn't have said that if it wasn't because of her.
Yan watched by the sidelines with muted curiosity.
The Proxy of Chaos stood from her seat, her joints creaking with golden rust.
"Oh, I got a Prescript now~ It's really funny, want to hear it guys?"
The Proxy of Power didn't stay behind to listen, having already received a Prescript of his own.
Esther shrugged, gesturing her to continue.
"Here goes~: Exchange the right leg of the fiftieth person you meet today with the left arm of the ninety-second! But I'm not sure, does that count the people I've already met today?"
"Yes." As the Proxy of Knowledge, Esther translated the Prescript for her.
The cheerful girl's glowing eye swung toward Yan, cutting through the air like a knife.
Yan shivered.
"...Forty ninth~! How lucky, how lucky!" Her eye curved upward, knowing that it was definitely not due to luck. The Prescript could have easily said the 49th, but chose not to.
And with Yan being the person just before her target, the Proxy could see the hidden message in the Prescript's wording. This Messenger was important.
Esther could tell what his colleague was thinking.
"She's part of my familia. Yan is her name."
There were three familias in each Section, one under each Proxy.
"Yan, Yan-ny Yan! I'll be watching you~" She hummed with childish flair as her body turned into hundreds of small cubes, crumbling before their eyes.
Her glowing eye observed Yan until it was swept up into a vent leading to the surface. The poor soul who passed by as she reformed would have a very unlucky day.
Yan breathed a sigh of relief, crashing onto a nearby chair to calm herself. Even though the Proxy of Chaos was the weakest of the three, she was just too... chaotic.
Esther pulled a seat from another table and sat beside her.
"Anything on your mind? You seem troubled, and not just about Gloria." The Proxy of Chaos called herself Gloria, though few knew if that was her real name or not. It was one of the secrets even Esther was not given privy to.
"Don't you know everything? Stop faking ignorance." Yan couldn't be bothered to maintain formality.
She didn't care if Esther killed her because of her disrespect, perhaps she even preferred it.
Esther smiled. Yan's will had broken into sharp shards, her thoughts became muddled. By shattering her ego bit by bit, the Prescripts could remold her as it saw fit. At least, that's what the man interpreted Its plan as.
But right now, Yan needed some comfort, otherwise the situation would become unsalvageable.
"I met Asher this morning. He is a pleasant fellow, wouldn't you agree?"
"..." Yan shifted uncomfortably; Esther cut straight to the topic. She was actually hoping that the man didn't know, but the Proxies were the closest to the Prescripts. They knew secrets that most couldn't even fathom. Especially the Proxy of Knowledge.
"You are scared that he hates you because of the Prescript you gave Bellecote."
She nodded her head.
"Fixers are more similar to us than you might think. Don't be afraid."
"So what should I do? Are you saying he doesn't hate me for what I did?" Yan muttered into her arms, blinking the tears out of her eyes.
The conversation trailed away as another person dropped into the room.
Yan's eyes widened as a little girl walked into the room, muttering sleepily.
"Esthy? Needs help~" Bellecote's daughter stumbled toward them. Alicia noticed Yan from the corner of her vision, remembering the Messenger who always spoke with her mother. She tilted her head as she stared at Yan.
Esther scooped the girl into his arms, turning back to Yan one last time before he disappeared.
"I'm saying that you might be misunderstanding something. Does he really hate you, or is that all from your imagination?" Alicia's arms wrapped around Esther's neck as he spoke.
The Proxy sank into the ground, leaving Yan alone with her own thoughts.
"..."
Yan's stomach rumbled amidst the silence. She cackled, her voice filled with unstable ramblings.
Alicia's appearance didn't calm her down at all, it only reminded her of what she did to the poor child. She killed the girl's mother, and now Alicia was an orphan all because of her actions. The reassurances that Esther gave had all but been forgotten.
She lurched forward, scanning her hand again to leave.
Another Prescript had been given to her.
It told her to arrive at HamHamPangPang in four minutes, seventeen seconds exactly.
Then order a chicken nugget meal.
Another strange Prescript.
Her body, conditioned by years of brainwashing, automatically moved her toward her destination.
No matter how strange, the Prescripts were absolute.
Yan's broken mind defaulted on the only thing she knew she could 'trust'.
It whispered to her every day.
It was there for her.
For... her.
.
For her?
.
Yes, for you
.
It is?
.
Yes.
You want to kill yourself.
.
God?
.
No.
You want to kill yourself.
.
Okay.
.
You want to kill yourself.
It reminds you helpfully.
.
I ponder for the slightest second.
I know the answer, the painfully simple answer.
I know.
I do.
I slit my wrist.
I look down.
I expect blood.
There's no blood.
I realize.
I realize I cannot do it.
I realize I still have feelings.
I realize I might hurt him more.
I realize I still care.
I realize I am hurt and I still care.
I realize I might have misunderstood.
I realize my stubbornness hurt me.
i. realize. i. did. not. listen.
to. the. person.
&i@
*realize#
$i^
%love>