Isabelle
"Miss Avildsen, is this the right address?" The driver who's been with me since I got to Nashville asked.
"Yes." I gulped, looking out of the window at the mental institution.
For a brief moment I had some courage that led to me directing him here. However as I looked at the place I felt it slipping away. Knowing she's in there somewhere has caused anxious knots to coil inside of my stomach. For all I know she could be at the window looking out, not realizing that she could see me.
From what I've been told by her doctor after her breakthrough, they went over the details about what caused her to lose me. They didn't exactly say how she reacted to hearing about her actions of locking me in a closet and then trying to sell me.
After learning the true details about my father's death it raised new questions about what she did to me. Before it was easy to cope with the thought that maybe she was so broken-hearted that it destroyed her to the point she couldn't look at me.
Now I realize she may have been trying to get rid of me so she didn't have to live with the guilt of her actions. She's the reason my father died, she couldn't be faithful and had every intention of leaving him. Then he did the unthinkable and she had to live with that on her conscience, having me around had to be a reminder to her of everything she did.
"Miss Avildsen." The driver's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. "Do you want me to park so you can go inside?"
"No." All the courage that had been inside of me was completely gone now. "Take me home please."
"Okay." He gave me a nod and then focused back onto driving.
I took a deep breath in and let it out. I can't help the anger I began to feel from just looking at that place. I figured driving by was going to be harmless but it seems that I was wrong.
I pulled out my phone to try to get my mind off of some things. Part of me wished I could just go and run to Sterling, tell him everything that was bugging me right this moment. The problem is that he's not in Nashville.
His father sent him to go meet with the client that he had just scored a deal with. He was sent out to somewhere in New York viewing a site where the project would be built. Since I'm no longer his assistant I had to stay back and help Killian watch over Tipton Enterprises since Damon has been in and out.
As if he knew I was thinking of him, Sterling's name came up on my screen as my phone began to buzz. Before it could even ring again I went ahead and answered it.
"That was quick." I could tell in his voice he was a little surprised. "Must have been sitting by waiting for me."
"No." I couldn't help the small chuckle that slipped out. "I was actually on my phone when you called, hence the quick answer."
"I see." He responded. "How are you?"
"I'm fine." Hearing his voice managed to make the negative feelings I had slip away almost instantly.
Things between Sterling and I seem to be improving each day. The awkwardness that we had both felt not long ago seemed to be no more. I'm still being careful but I can see he's trying and that's all I really wanted.
"Just fine?" He questioned me. "What's on your mind Izzy?"
"Nothing." I lied, he doesn't know my mother has reached out to me.
I could have told him, I know he'd be a good listener and maybe even help me think this through. However, this is something I feel like I need to figure out on my own.
"Okay." I felt slightly relieved he chose to not press the matter any further.
"What about you?" I switched the subject before he had the chance to change his mind and press me for more details. "How are things in New York?"
"They're good." He answered. "Truthfully I'm missing you already. I'll be here another day or two and then I'll be on my way home. I want to see you when I get back."
"Okay." I smiled to myself. "I'm sure that can be arranged."
"Good." He was pleased with my response. "I've got to go but I'll call to check in tomorrow afternoon."
"Sounds good."
We said our goodbyes and he hung up. As I placed my phone back into my bag the driver pulled up to the apartment complex.
"Thank you." I spoke before getting out and heading inside.
The apartment was empty as I entered it. Noami must have already left for work. I know she had to go in early so that she could do some inventory. I probably won't be seeing her at all tonight since she usually stays until the bar closes.
My phone began to ring in my bag again. I pulled it out, expecting it to be either Sterling or Killian. They're the two who are usually behind the phone calls I receive, but this was the number from the mental institution. I've practically got it memorized at this point.
Taking in a breath, I exhaled as I answered the call and brought the phone to my ear. "This is Isabelle Avildsen."
"Hello Miss Avildsen, this is Dr. Thomas." The doctor's voice was gentle. "I was wondering if you had given any more thought to visiting your mother."
"I have." I answered truthfully, not that I have any intention of telling him that I was so close to caving in today.
"She requested to see you again today." He informed me. "I really think it would benefit both of you. Even if it doesn't go as I hope it would be a form of closure for the two of you."
He's not wrong, I'll give him that. If I sit down with her and get to ask my questions then I'll either walk away feeling like we can have a relationship or I'll walk away and never have to look back. Either way I can't really go wrong here I guess.
"Fine." I exhaled a low breath, my stomach began to twist into anxious knots all over again but I forced myself to ignore them.
"Wonderful." I could tell he was pleased that I finally agreed, every other time I've shot him down almost instantly.
Dr. Thomas went over the schedule and we set up a meeting for the end of this week. It would give me a few days to collect myself and decide exactly what questions I wanted to ask her.
Now I just need to make sure I don't use the time to back out.