I dip my one tenth flat head paint brush into a puddle of colors that I had mixed to resemble a light royal blue color, I make small strokes with my brush filling in the iris of the very eyes that haunt me night after night. Ones that are so much like my own yet at the same time so different that it doesn't make sense how anyone could mistake them for mine. I paint the long flat hair that mirrors a raven's wings, a mix of blacks, dark purples and blue. I replicate those colors with paint to get the perfect color scheme, imitating how light reflects off her hair making her look life-like. I paint her rosy red full lips creating the light curve of her cupid's bow, capturing the bright smile that was plastered on her lips. I paint the smile lines on her cheeks using a mix of light grey and the skin tone color I had originally used to create shadowing. I use that same color to portray the crinkles at the edge of her eyes that had been etched into her beautiful creamy very light golden toned skin, probably from the years of the constant joyousness that was written on her face. I try to capture that very joyfulness in both her eyes and face trying to make it clear all the way through to her very being. I paint her the one person I had in my life that loved and understood me better than anyone, I paint her to maybe help fill that empty void in my heart that she left when she died. I paint her by memory from the arch of her brow, the slenderness of her face and the soft rounded curve of her chin that fed into the sharp edges of her perfectly defined jaw. I memorized the light blue color of her eyes that was a mix of royal blues and another color called cloudless. I remember the curve of her lashes and the small button-like nose I inherited from her. I remember her so perfectly that it hurts. I remember the sound of her voice, the way she would throw her head back when she'd laugh too hard. I remember every single part of her, and sometimes I can see her if I stare into the mirror long enough. I remember her so perfectly but how could I not? How could I forget my mom? How could I forget the woman who raised me? The person who loved me? The person that brought me into this world? How could I forget her? How could I forget my best friend? How could I forget her?