"Control, the power isn't in the heat or the flames themselves, it is in the control." Costrae normally worked with her alone when it came to physical combat but when it came to magic Aspen insisted that he and Pierson be there to keep her incheck in case something went wrong.
"I can contain our cailín bea tine-" Costrae had started but Aspen had interrupted
"I know you can handle her, and it is for exactly that reason that I don't want you to be the one to do it." Whatever Costare's power was, Aspen didn't want Anatia anywhere near it. Costrae blinked, not used to being questioned or interrupted at all and from the atmosphere and the slight embarrassment on Aspen's face Ana could sense that no one ever contradicted Costrae, and it wasn't a surprise, Costrae was a force to be reckoned with. But Costraehad allowed it, though she had insisted on being the one to actually coach her.
And so they came to stand here at the center of the training yard. There was a candle on the ground in front of her. Her goal was to light the candle without immediately melting all the wax. Costrae circled her and Aspen and Pierson leaded against the archways.
Smoke trailed up from the wic but no flame appeared. Whenever she got an actual flame to appear it was always too much and the candle would melt into a puddle of wax.
"Ugh! Why wont it work"
"Because-
"Because what? Because I need to control, well it's not working!"
"And is yelling at me helping?" Costrae didn't look angry or annoyed at her outburst, no her face was as always cold as stone. And maybe she imagined it but she thought she might have seen a tired sort of amusement, like a parent trying to teach a frustrated child to walk after a long day in the fields and finding humor and how much such trivial things upset the small human.
"Well no, but it's satisfying!"
"Why? You have not accomplished your goal so any and all other exerted energy is a waste. Yelling at me in no way changes the task that you have to complete or if you have completed it. If anything, yelling at me should make you feel disappointed in yourself."
"Why? I mean I understand not being satisfied by it using your logic but why would it make me feel disappointed in myself?
"Because yelling at me means you aren't fully focused on the task at hand, you aren't controlling your energy which is disappointing because I just told you to do that." Anatia thought for a second,
"Yes, but you're saying to put all my energy into the task right?" Costrae nodded, "Well if i'm putting all my energy into my task I couldn't possibly spare any effort to listen to your instructions." Anatia gave a satisfied smile and she heard Pierson and Aspen give huffs of amusement.
"That would be true, except that if you put all your energy into the task you wouldn't need my constant reminders to do so and you would already be done." At that Pierson suppressed a laugh and Anatia snapped her head at him, indigent.
"What are you laughing at, waterboy?" Pierson put his hands up in mock surrender,
"Nothing, nothing" she turned back to the candle after rolling her eyes at Pierson. She focused her energy on the wic, on the heat in that one spot. She cut out the smallest piece of her, that smoldery heart of fire and will that was at her core, and she commanded it to light the candle. She summoned all her focus and restraint to contain the energy she meant to put out into the world, allowing only a small flicker to release on the candle. She watched as the small fire danced in the breeze.
There was no intake of breath, this was no unfathomable feat. This was what was expected of her. It had been the same at Nightcliff Keep and in the Iron Castle. There is no reward for doing what is expected of you.
"Now put it out." She snapped her head to Costrae who was looking at her expectantly.
"I can't-"
"I didn't ask for excuses, I told you to put out the candle." Ana was half tempted to just blow it out but she didn't think that would go over well. She focused on that little door she had allowed to form between her and the world. Focused on the energy trickling through it and into the flame before her. She thought of erasing the door, turning it back into a wall between her magic and the world and the flame disappeared into folds of smoke and air in a flicker. "Now light it again."
"But I just-" she started but Costrae cut her off.
"Light it again." She let out a breath and thought again of carving out that small door. A bead of sweat rolled down her face as she used all her focus to control the raging magic but the candle lit.
"Put it out."
"Are we just going to do this all day?"
"We are going to do this until you can do it without a thought. We are going to do this until you learn to master your control." She groaned in irritation.
"Fine." And so she spent the day lighting and extinguishing the candle.
By the time she went to her room she had a pounding headache and refused to attend dinner with Aine. She didn't care if the queen had her hanging from the ceiling by her toenails, she needed rest and she'd deal with Aine and the consequences tomorrow.