Worse, this was so much worse than Axton knowing, so much worse seeing the look on Elexis' face. Knowing that Elexis had sent rebels to kill her, she had known about the attempts on her life by the rebels, but knowing Elexis herself had planned them. It had been different knowing Elexis was alive somewhere with the rebels. Knowing that they were trying to get her out. But this, seeing their faces, gods. And the look of disgust and hatred on Elexis' face, watching her realize how terrible and broken and twisted she was.
But she hadn't let herself admit the real reason why she couldn't leave. Because she couldn't revisit that night. Because seeing Elexis and Axton was one thing, one thing that knocked her knees out from under her and left her crying on a warehouse floor, but still.
She huddled in a corner of the warehouse and wrapped her cloak around herself, and she cried. She cried for the secrets Ben could never know, for the look on Elexis' face when she had truly seen her for the monster she had become, and for Lythian, dear sweet Lythian. Lythian, who was the only one who might have been able to forgive her, the only one who would always love her, because that was who Lythian was.
So Cinis huddled there in the warehouse beside old wooden crates, letting her tears flow as a storm raged outside.