So I recently-ish discovered a show on Netflix that had been out for a while but I just hadn't seen.
The story of how I discovered this was interesting. As you all know I like to write (obviously) and since I'm not very good at understanding social cues all the time and they tend to be important when writing scenes with multiple characters, I look online. I watch video essays on character development and relationship development and while wondering down a YouTube rabbit hole of such content I found a video.
"Why Adora is a fantastic Protagonist" by Five by Five takes (it really is a good video) It was about the protagonist of the show She-ra and the Princesses of Power, a 2018 reboot of and 80's show meant to sell toys. I as a child had watched a few of the episodes of the original and I thought it was nice enough (child me hadn't realized that its entire purpose was selling toys). I however didn't know which show it was from when I clicked it. The thumbnail was a picture of young Adora next to some text that said the title of the video. And while I had seen some of the characters from the show before in passing (though I honestly would have likely said they were from Steven Universe (I know I should watch it but I can't find the first episode)) I didn't recognize Adora.
So despite not having seen the show I decided to watch it.
And after watching that video and then another by the same channel with the title "Why She-ra 2018 is worth your time" I was thoroughly convinced and I decided to watch the show.
5 seasons, and about 17 hours of content later I was obsessed. When I really like a show I don't re-watch the entire show in order, I re-watch my favorite episodes. I also watch those compilations on YouTube. And of course more video essays on the character development because despite that reasoning for watching the show having been abandoned long ago I still wanted to observe and analyze the show's incredible use of character arcs and relationships.
Now you might be wondering, why do I like this show?
Well as with any hyper-fixation, I can't really explain it beyond the fact that I love the characters and humor and that I love cartoons.
Shows like this and "Star vs the Forces of Evil" and "Gravity Falls" and "Avatar" have always been a joy to me.
But this show especially. And while I would love to gush over the hundreds of reasons I love the show, there are two important things about it and my experience that are important.
This show has incredible representation, not just of the LGBTQ+ community but they also have some neurodiversity too. And here we come to my favorite character. Entrapta. She canonically has Autism and though if you pay any attention to her behavior this is quite evident they still do a good job of not making it her entire personality or the only point of her character. For one they never say it on screen meaning that no one really makes a big deal of it, but it also shows the experience of someone who goes undiagnosed and how they are often treated or seen by others.
With that out of the way I can talk about the real thing I wanted to talk about. This show honestly makes me question my sexuality. Mostly for this reason.
I can't tell if I'm hyper-fixating on the Catradora ship or if I just love it because I'm secretly Bisexual.
Which might sound weird but, for me at least I have a hard time telling the difference between a hyper-fixation and a crush. I have hyper-fixated on female characters before but until watching this show I never seriously considered that those might have been crushes.
But that I'm thinking about it I can't tell if I'm placeboing myself into thinking of those past hyper-fixations in a different way or not.
It's a mess.
I'm a mess.
Now you might think there's a simple solution to this question, do you think about girls in a sexual way. But I don't really think about anyone that way beyond random and unwelcome intrusive thoughts. So maybe I'm asexual bi-romantic?
Or maybe I'm just blowing this whole thing out of proportion and it really is nothing but a hyper-fixation.
Or maybe I have Impostor Syndrome.
So you see its really quite the conundrum. This is why I like things to me black and white, a defiant answer. All these different sades of grey are so confusing its hard to know if what I chose it the right answer. And I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not.
go watch She-ra 2018 and enjoy Pride Month!
That's all for now!
Love Ya,
Lissa