Love doesn't all work
What the novels don't tell us
Is that people don't move on so fast
People like us love never works
I have been waiting for ages for her to show up at the cafe, damn I was running out of patience. I was falling for her at an escalated pace and hard. I don't think she noticed how attached I have become of late. In my head she was the only thing running, I have tried time and again to stop myself from growing to attached, I have seen many girls but this one was different, she was made specifically for me.
I looked outside and noticed a form like hers. She was a charming soul, a vision of beauty, everything a man could ever want. Have you ever waited for someone at a public place and seems like they are not coming even though the other person is not aware you are waiting? Sounds awkward and stupid but I was willing to risk. She didn't show much of herself, she had mastered the art of shrouding herself and her thoughts, she was not easy to read. I couldn't tell what she was like. She has a mask on her face, a smiley face.
I haven't had much sleep in the last few days or so, she caused my system to refuse all forms of sleep, denied any form rest for my soul, always thinking of when I'd meet her again and again. My mind was hazy, never thinking straight. I was clouded by something stronger, a desire.
Life is a lie too beautiful to accept bad things can happen. I enjoyed our last meeting that I fantasise about it every second that passes. Now sitting here impatiently waiting for her to show up felt like betrayal, maybe I was overjoyed, I skipped some steps maybe in our initial acquaintance. I was only thinking of her, of the words I'd eventually tell her.
It has only been 45 minutes and my patience was growing thin. I stood up, paced to the door and yanked myself out. I needed some fresh air, I was disappointed, a bit angry, I was worked up by thoughts of a girl I knew nothing about, yet here I am. Was I becoming mad? I was convinced that I was crazy, beads of sweat collected at my forehead, I used the back of my hand to wipe the moisture, I paced down to the basketball court just opposite the cafe, damn my day was already a ruin. The day passed in one long moment that seemed to spell doom, one long moment that was stuck with me. I was feeling so disappointed, so weak that walking toward the basketball court was becoming a sort of slavery.
I was just about to quit my pursuance when a group of ladies briskly walked past me, I noticed a dark haired girl with eyes similar to the stranger staring right in my face. Another day was passing in my life, not complicated but I did not have the will to follow her, or even wink, some weird stirred in my stomach, I just walked past as well, leading straight to the library instead, I needed clarity of what has happened to me. How could a mere girl toss my soul aside in darkness like that. She scarred my heart, it's like I was made for loving her, I don't know where all these thoughts were coming from but I was sure not from my head.
For starters I didn't even know her. Just two lonely hearts that's what we were. Maybe if I could just see her, I'd be alright I was in a tight spot. Strained feelings to be honest with her, I did not know where we stand, we had only met once, talked only that one time, should that conclusion be the only thing I could decipher? I wanted her to be here and ask her how her night was, how she sleeps if she has nightmares, it was weird but that was what I wanted.
Strange.
My life was not complicated nor fancy, simple just passing through to make it to the next day, maybe a poem about her would relieve me of some baggage and move on from this, I had this thought that it may be just another phase, I jumped in too soon. Maybe it was too soon, if I wait it may take too long to have her, I was confused.
I wanted to invite her to some homemade tea, a casual dinner, a movie and call it a day. At times it all comes to doubting yourself, doubt your feelings, tuck away all the courage and shove away the effort you put in believing in someone that they would reciprocate your feelings.
Love is weird, you can't put a unit of measurement on it and quantify, it is heavy on the heart but light on the scale.
Or maybe, just maybe, I got my interpretation of love wrong, she and I had no clear intention, but at least on my part I was, just wasn't sure about her, her side of the story. It mattered to me, I needed to know where we land.
In the midst of my walk I was interrupted, I looked back angrily and was ready to confront the one who was messing with my peaceful thoughts. I found the trouble maker, there she was, smiling like an idiot at me, she melted my anger a little.
"I have no idea I'll live to see you again" I was amazed by her remark, actually I should be smacking her face, and call her all the names in the book, but I was softened by her soothing voice.
"Well I can't say the same for you, you have been a total pain in the ass today, looking everywhere for you."
I will admit she has that charm. I was calm.
"Let me make up for it." She offered.
"How, sing a song for me?" I fired.
"Actually I was planning to." Pure sarcasm in her voice, and it seems like she enjoyed taunting me.
"How about we chat about your absence." Why on earth was I asking her about her absence while I had actual questions I should be asking her? Anywho as long as she was here, I will torment her to the fullest.
"First, I was absent, just caught up with work, you know student lifestyle." She was too quick to dismiss,
'I get it. so, what happens now?' I pondered.
I was now becoming the typical campus kid and it wasn't my style. But that was immaterial to her, she didn't have to worry about it. Well I still have a shot at this, I better not blow it this time.