CAUGHT IN THE ACT BY GODFREY EMUZE
CHAPTER TWO
Charles thought his decision to get some work done at the office will keep his mind off things but that didn't work out as planned. He had a pile of work on his table that was begging for his attention but he couldn't concentrate on any of them. He kept thinking about Jenny and wondering where she went after leaving the house. His gaze drifted to the picture sitting on his desk, they took it when they went for vacation last year, they looked so happy, he looked happy.
'will this ever be us again…will you ever smile at me like that again?,' he said thinking out loud. He picked up his phone and dialled her number, she picked up after the first ring.
This is a good sign…he thought.
"honey…please tell me where you are so I can come get you?," he said calmly.
"I am somewhere without you. No need to start worrying about me now. Besides, I do not want to see you," she said in a curt voice.
"please don't do this, I know I messed up big time, all I ask is a chance to make It up to you," he pleaded.
"you had your chances Charles, please I need some space,"
"Please don't do this. Remember our promise, You vowed no matter what happened, no matter what I do, you will never stop talking to me. Please let's talk about this..."
"I remember our vows unlike you. I picked your call, didn't I…I've not stopped talking, my words just seem to have deserted me right now. I really don't have anything to say to you. I don't even know what to say to you. You broke me Charles, you killed my words," she said fighting back tears.
"You can't do this to me Jenny. You love me too much to spare me your words remember? You love me too much to spare me your wisdom, else I will crush remember? those were your words. Please talk to me, tell me where you are let me come for you, am sorry I hurt you," she didn't say a word but he could hear her soft cries over the phone and It broke his heart even more. After some seconds, the call went dead and he was left to his thoughts again, his face palmed thinking of where she might be.
It's been a few days since Jenny left and Charles felt worse than even before. He tried to bury himself in work in order to distract himself from the pain he was feeling but that only works for a few hours. Returning home is like torture as he could feel her in every room. As he returned home that evening, he felt exhausted, his body ached all over but that didn't compare to the pain in his heart. He missed her so much, her beautiful smile and her warm embrace. He opened his arms wide half expecting for her to step out and welcome him with a hug like she used to but all that he felt was the cool breeze from the air conditioner and he let his arm drop to his sides feeling disappointed. His mind drifted back to the good days.
He had gotten home late feeling tired and exhausted, as he undressed himself she snuck up behind him and helped him with his shirt.
"wow, I can feel the tension in your shoulders," she said as she rubbed his shoulders.
"I feel exhausted," he said with a sigh.
"why don't you have a seat let me give you a quick massage before dinner," she said as she pulled him down to the arm chair. She made small circular movements around his shoulders as she gave him a massage.
"hmmmm…that feels so good," he moaned
"I know just what you like and how you like it. So why not shower and then come down for dinner"
"I have a better idea, let's shower together. I'm in the mood for dessert," he said with a wink as he lifted her up and headed for the bathroom.
He shook his head to stop the rest of the memory from resurfacing. He made his way to the bedroom and walked to the closet, his face fell as he saw the now empty space that used to house Jenny's clothes. He shut the door angrily and decided to go make dinner instead but as he entered the kitchen, another memory hit him.
He saw Jenny standing by the sink washing vegetables and he decided to sneak up on her and give her a back hug. He hugged her from behind and tickled her a bit as she giggled uncontrollably.
"honey, stop that. I need to finish cooking," she said in between laughs.
"who cares about dinner…this is more satisfying,"
"well as much as I enjoy this, I wouldn't want my food to get burnt. So are you going to help me or not?,"
"as your lordship pleases, what can I do to help?"
"well, you can help me with the salad by slicing the cabbage, just don't cut yourself please the knife is very sharp," she said with a teasing smile.
"I will be careful, I promise." He said holding up his hand as they smile at each other.
He shook his head as he took in his surroundings, this time the kitchen was empty and dark. He opted for snacks instead of cooking as he didn't trust himself to concentrate long enough to cook a proper meal not that he even knew how to cook a proper meal. He used to come into the kitchen just to watch Jenny cook and of course take some pieces of meat while she was not looking but he never really paid attention to how she made the food. Now he wished he had paid more, no, he wished he hadn't put himself into this situation that now required him to make his own food. He wished she was here to make him one of those delicious meal like she used to, he wished he could shut his eyes and wake up from this bad dream that his life had become but when he opened his eyes, all he felt was guilt, shame and disappointment. He wished so many things, if only he could turn back the hands of time. He shook his head in disagreement as he headed out of the kitchen with the cereal box in hand.
Jenny had been staying with one of her close friends for the past two weeks. She knew her husband had been looking for her and she was glad he hadn't thought of looking for her here yet. Comfort had been very accommodating and didn't bug her with too much talk about what she intended to do and she was grateful for that. She just needed enough time to sort through this mess.
As Comfort arrived home that evening, she saw her guest lying on the sofa with her eyes closed and a book resting on her chest, she and Jenny had been friends for years and it broke her heart to see her going through so much pain. When she showed up on her doorstep asking to stay with her for a while, she let her in without too much questions and when she later explained the issue with her husband, she couldn't help but feel sorry for her. So this evening, she decided it was time to have a talk with her friend.
"Hi dear, how are you feeling?," she said shaking her feet lightly.
"I don't know how am feeling but I guess am okay, how was work today?" she said sitting up on the sofa.
"you know how it is, work is work. So tell me, how was your day? Did you at least go out?"
"I didn't go anywhere, I've been home all day," she said with a sigh.
"yea, same thing yesterday, the day before that and all the days you've been here. You need to go out, you can't put your life on hold like this," she chided.
"I want to go out but I just can't bring myself to, I'm afraid of running into him somehow," she said in a low voice.
"oh dear! Just say the word and I'll take you places where you won't even have to see any man much less your husband," she said with a smug.
"of course! Don't I just know…" she said and they both smiled.
"alright, so tell me what you've been doing all day,"
"I tried to read but I couldn't concentrate, I just kept thinking mostly," she said sighing.
"need I guess…you are thinking about him aren't you?"
"I just can't forget him you know. I keep wondering how he's faring without me, if he's eating well or not. And am sure his dress sense will be back to Stone Age since am not there to keep him styled in civilisation," she said and let out a small laugh.
"so you want to call him and find out how he's doing?" she asked.
"nah, I need some time away from him. I just miss him, that's all," she said softly.
"I understand dear, just take your time. You can stay here for as long as you want, you know my husband won't be returning from the US till next year." She said reassuring her.
"Thanks Comfort. I am so grateful for allowing me to disturb you this way," she said squeezing her hand.
"oh, come off it! It's always nice to have you around, that's when you are not moping and walking around like a zombie," she said with slight humour in her voice.
"You are really a good friend Comfort. More like the Big Sister I never had…"
She cut in before she could continue, "more like the naughty sister you never had," she chipped in and they both laughed.
"You know my parents must not hear that I left home or that I left Charles, it will crush them. To them, he's the perfect son-in-law."
"I understand but if you don't go back soon you might have to tell them what's happening before Charles or someone else does. You are their only child you know,"
"I know but I'm just so confused right now."
"Then do nothing until you are sure of what to do"
"But am not good at doing nothing"
"I know! So has Charles been trying to reach you?" she asked.
"Every morning and evening I put off my phone when I know he would be trying my line and when I put it on, his messages comes in like bees to the hive, every blessed day. I refused replying all his chats and he keeps begging me to forgive him and come home," she replied.
"hmmm…so now that you are avoiding him, are you considering leaving him for good?,"
"I don't really know comfort, What's worst is I let him think I am with a man because of one thing I said to him the last time, and the thought of it is really driving him crazy,"
"oh dear, I don't think that's a good idea. You should tell him the truth,"
"He doesn't know where I am and it's killing him. He knows he can't go to my parents, In fact he knows they mustn't find out I left him. He wouldn't even have guessed am here because you are supposed to have travelled with your hubby to the US."
"Mehn…I wish I had o but I had to stay behind this time and handle some urgent stuffs for our business. I know that's why Charles has not called me to find out if I have seen you. You are really gonna break that man, Jenny." She said matter-of-fact.
"He broke me first, he broke me bad," she replied.
"So what do you plan to do now?" she asked.
"Nothing, I'm in a really bad place right now and I'm not sure how to deal with it," she replied.
"anyways, one thing is for sure, you still love him."
"I'm not sure, if I still do I can't feel it anymore. All I can feel is the feeling of hurt and betrayal of him sleeping with another woman while giving me smart excuses for avoiding me in bed," she snapped.
"at some point, you would have to forgive him you know," she said gently.
"I know but not now, I'm afraid that if I do I'll have to let him back into my life and I'm not ready for that."
"Honey, you never let him out of your life, you only left his house. He is all you think and write about, He is all you talk about, Sweetie, he is your life and unless you have gotten another better life, I do not think you want to throw this one away just like that."
"but he cheated on me…" she said wiping the tears from her cheeks.
"Well most men do, if not with their hands or eyes, they do with their minds. What difference does it really make? We have to still be their wife, forgive them often and keep them very occupied with us so that there's no space or time for another Miss or Mrs Outside."
"If I let this go, how am I sure he won't do it again since he has done it before," she asked.
"You will never really be sure he wouldn't, you just have to trust that he won't. You have to give him a fighting chance to make it up to you and to prove to you that with you on his side he can be a better man. Marriage most times is like a sweet but scary dream, If it's worth dreaming about then it is definitely worth fighting for. Please don't throw yours away just yet, at least not without a good fight," she replied.
"I want to fight for him, I want to fight for us. I just don't know where to begin, I am not just mad at him for cheating, I am even more mad at myself about it. I feel I might have unknowingly pushed him away. When I had my last miscarriage, the pain was much for me. I wouldn't even allow him touch me. I would nag and snap at every little thing. At a point I even stopped talking to him but just when I was returning to myself again gradually, I discovered being us had become unfamiliar. Then being together became a struggle yet I kept trying to catch up with him. I hated being alone but I first left him alone so much that he nearly forgot how to be with me, how to be with us. Somehow I feel guilty that I might have caused this but the blame is all his. He is the man, he should take responsibility for both of us. He ought never to leave me, After all, he promised never to leave me!" she said sobbing softly.
"I understand but think about it this way, If a house suddenly collapses, the problem often is not only with the people that built it, the problem is also with the materials used. Same thing applies to a home, both of you are to blame for what's happening to your marriage. It is never the fault of one party, both parties must have done something wrong,"
"We used to be inseparable, we were best of friends, I guess life happened to us," she said shifting uncomfortably on the couch.
"Yea…life happened alright. The mistake was not what happened but that you blamed each other for it and you stopped talking. No matter what happens in a relationship, you must always keep the conversation going whether you feel like it or not. Be loud, be soft, be gentle, be offensive, be what you have to be but be out with it. Let the words leave your heart else you reach hasty conclusions and take nasty actions. You begin to assume, presume and your world ends up consumed with too much hurt from within," she said as she stood up from the couch.
"To think I have written 19 novels, 11 of which are best sellers and 10 award-winning plays. To think am a top-notch editor and literary critic for firms and many individuals but when it comes to my life, I simply don't have the words, I don't know the direction am supposed to cast. I simply don't have the words to stabilize my world," she said with a hint of sadness in her voice.
"Please go easy on yourself honey, life has no rehearsals and no preview. Life is just life. You deal with stuffs as they come the best way you can and move on. It is what it is okay? I think am gonna make us a very nice dinner. Let me go in and change. Hang in there my friend, things will be just fine," she said as she left the living room.