"Your noodles would get soggy" I heard a voice told me which brought me back to reality.Naialis ko naman ang pangalumbaba ko at nilingon ito. He was also holding a cup of noodle which he placed to the table beside me before he sat. Napatitig naman ako sa sarili kong noodle. Even though I'm craving for it kanina, di ko magawang maka-isang subo nito dahil naalala ko na naman ang nangyari kanina.
"Eat. You deserve a scrumptious meal after a long day" he told me as he start eating his own noodle. Napatitig na naman ako sa kanya, unaware of the time.
"Why do guys... Bakit kayong mga lalake, ang galing nyo mag-paasa?" I blurted out in a whisper tone. I can even visualize Grayson's face lit up when he told me na may pag-asa na sya kay Gist.
I don't know but I'm starting to tear up a little. Nothing hurts much more than the rejections I've received through the years.
"We don't do paasa. It's you girls who put meaning to our actions." seryoso naman nitong sagot sa akin sabay kindat pa. Halos mamula naman ako sa ginawa niya.
"See? You immediately turned as red as tomato samantalang kinindatan lang naman kita." he continued bago pa sya humigop ng kauntin sabaw.
"So kami pa may kasalanan? Ako pa may kasalanan?" nanlulumo ko namang balik sa kanya. Ang pathetic, ang hibang ko naman sa part na ako yung nagbibigay ng sariling kahulugan sa mga actions nila.
"Not technically. Depende sa sitwasyon. Meron kasing mga lalaking paasa talaga, may mga babaeng umaasa talaga and we can't avoid that. Infatuation is so much broader than we think it is. Ginagawa ka nitong hibang" dagdag pa nya sabay lingon sa akin. Napakibit balikat na lang ako sa sinabi nya.
"But pano mo naman nasabing infatuation lang yun? Why is it not love, Kuya Uno?" tanong ko pa, nakapangalumbaba. I flinched naman when he touched my arms, inalis ako sa pagkakapalumbaba, "Bawal mangalumbaba sa hapag at sa harap ng pagkain".
"Infatuation? Love? They're alike but so different. Mas matimbang lang ang love kasi dun ka talaga matatanga. Sino ka mang magna cum laude pero pag tinamaan ka na ng pana ni Kupido, dedo ka na" natatawa pa nitong sabi. Napangiti naman ako because of what he said kasi totoo naman.
"Pero yang sa'yo, infatuation lang yan. It hurts because you got rejected. Not because your love was rejected. Kasi in the first place, you offered no love dun sa tao. Gusto mo lang sya pero di mo sya mahal. It hurts coz your ego got scathed." sabi pa nito na parang alam nya ang nangyayari sa akin bago pa muling sumubo ng noodles.
"Pano mo naman nalaman na I got rejected? Or that was the case?" nagtataka ko naman tanong.
Hinarap naman nya ako as he crossed his arms, "You asked me bakit paasa mga lalake, right? Dun pa lang, sapat nang dahilan para isipin na tungkol sa pag-ibig yang tinatanong mo and that you got rejected. Trust me, I know so much more about being rejected. Being those guys' oldest bro, I witnessed how they got rejected by girls. And that time, just like your eyes right now, their eyes screams words like, 'Why am I rejected? Am I not enough to be liked by someone?' " kwento pa nya as he stared outside too. He seemed like he's reminiscing those times.
I can't believe naman na some or those guys got rejected. I mean, they have the looks and they all look adorable. Sino namang tanga ang hindi sila gugustuhin?
" Hays" I breathed out. I opened the lid of the cup noodle that I prepared earlier. It's a little soggy but I guess I'll need to bear with it. Medyo mainit pa ito so when I took a bite, it brought warmth to my system. Idagdag mo pa ang anghang nito ay paniguradong papawisan ako nito mamaya kahit ba naka-aircon dito.
"But you know, rejection makes you a better person if you're a positive thinker. You can improve yourself and would have the will to discover more about yourself. Pero kung negative ka mag-isip and think that you would never be enough for someone, you'll get drowned by those thoughts. You'd keep thinking, paulit-ulit kung bakit. So you, you better think positive. You're too young to get either distracted and destroyed by rejection," payo pa nito na kinalingon ko ulit sa kanya habang sumisimsim ng kaunting sabaw from the noodle. Though our eyes didn't meet dahil nakatingin pa rin sya sa labas, I can sense his sincerity.
"Noted po 'yan, Kuya Uno" I replied, slightly comforted by what he just told. My appetite started to build up as I continue eating the noodle until I finished it. On the other hand, he opened his gimbap and started devouring it. We're quiet for some minutes, medyo nakikiramdam pa sa isa't isa.
My hands were shaking naman, contemplating whether kung aalukin ko siya nung isang kalahati ng grilled cheese sandwich or not. Mukhang napansin naman nya iyon dahil nakapatong sa table iyong kamay ko habang hawak iyong sandwich.
"If you're gonna offer that sandwich, I would be glad to accept it. Huwag ka na mahiya," medyo natatawa pa nitong sabi. Nahiya naman ako sa kanya as I probably look constipated beside him but I just shyly smiled. He just broke the serious atmosphere when he smiled at me and reached for the sandwich. He divided it into two, iyong isa ay pinatong niya sa ibabaw ng cup noodles nya while the other half is inabot nito pabalik sa akin.
"Pasensya na kung naging mataray ako kanina" mahina kong bulong before I took a bite from the sandwich. Diretso lang akong nakatingin sa labas at hindi sya malingon dahil nahihiya pa rin ako remembering what I've said to him in front of his friends.
"Sus, yun lang. I get where you're coming from. Kung ako man ay lapitan ng hindi ko pa ganoon kakilala at mangungutang ay ganun din isasagot ko" he replied before he swallowed the remaining gimbap in his hands.
"Yeah, but I was a little rude considering you're older than me," I reasoned out. Nilingon ko naman sya at nakitang nakatingin sa akin but he just shrugged his shoulders.
"Lalo nyo naman ako pinagmumukhang matanda. I'm just 20 years old. And I guess you're the same age as Cinco and Sais, mga 17-18? You can drop the 'po' and 'kuya'"
"Fine, I'll drop the 'po' part, pero di sure sa kuya as mama raised me to speak with honorifics" I just replied with a smile, trying to lighten up the mood.
"Sige, bet ko na yan" sabi pa nito while stifling a smile habang nakatingin sa table ko na may mga pagkain pa.
Clearing his throat, he told,"On the other hand, hindi ko pa alam ang pangalan mo."
I wiped my mouth naman, "Oh sorry to be rude, I haven't introduced myself pa pala"
"So? Sino ka nga pala, miss 'I don't talk to strangers, I won't let you rip some money off from me'" tanong pa nito na may halong pang-aasar.
"Sino nga ba ako?" tanong ko rin, chuckling.
"Baka naman ikaw na pala si Miss Right ko" biro pa nito sa akin na medyo kinapula ko. Maging sya rin ay namula nang kaunti ang kanyang mga tenga.
"Psh, stop bluffing. Ang corny naman nung Miss Right na sinabi mo" I told him, chuckling a little as I cleaned my hand with some tissue.
"I'm Joana, Joana Medina but you can call me Joe but most definitely you can call me love as I can be your Joewa" I offered him a handshake which he gladly received while suppressing a laugh, probably entertained by what I just said.
"Hi, Joe, I'm Juan Carlito de Ayala. You can call me Uno dahil number one ako sa puso mo but never ever call me Juan or Carlito" pakilala pa nito sa akin na kinatawa ko na.
"Seryoso? Juan Carlito pangalan mo?" I asked him, slightly shaking from laughing. Di naman sa judger ako pero ambantot pankinggan. You really can't have it all.
"Oo, bakit? May problema ka ba?" medyo nangingiti din nitong tanong sa akin.
"Wala naman. Eh saan nanggaling yung Uno?" I curiously asked him as I opened a bag of chips, iyong Ridges. Inalok ko naman sya and he accepted it, getting a handful of it.
"Hmmm, I really don't know. Dahil siguro dun sa Juan na part, it sounded like one. Dati kasi iyong si Seven noong bata, he read Juan as one na number when he was a toddler. He was like, Kuya One, Kuya One. Siguro sila mama na nagsanay na Uno ang tawag sa akin dahil may lahi rin si mama." kwento pa nito na kinatango ko naman. I even imagined the little version of him and Seven which I just saw kanina and they look cute in there which made me smile.
"Ang cute naman nung story behind your nickname" I just commented and ate some chips. Sa lagay kasi namin na kwentuhan at sa patuloy niyang pagkuha ng chips ay mauubusan ako. Aliwin daw ba ako sa kwento habang inuubos yung pagkain ko?
"Pero alam mo yung mas cute?" he asked me na halos ikahilamos ko ng mga kamay ko sa pagmumukha ko, readying myself from his answer.
"It's me" he continued while doing a cute sign, the flower pot pose where he put his hands under his chin while smiling widely. Halos iuntog ko naman ang ulo ko sa table sa taas ng confidence niya.
"Ganyan ka ba talaga?" I asked him, starting to clean my table. I put my trash in a tray as I put all the unopened snacks to the plastic bag which iuuwi ko.
"Paanong ganyan? Iyong confident?" seryosong tanong niya pabalik habang nililinis din ang table niya.
"Oo, how come you have the confidence to say and do those things?"
Noong nilingon ko naman sya, he was pouting, contemplating whether to tell something. "Why not flaunt it when you have it?" he just replied which made me just shrugged my shoulders.
"Point taken. You've got the looks, I mean" sabi ko pa na kinangiti naman niya.
"So inamin mo na rin na gwapo talaga ako?" panunukso pa nito na kinailing ko na lang habang pinipigilang ngumiti.
"Fine, gwapo ka na talaga" I replied, trying to avoid him by standing up to throw the trash sa basurahan sa loob ng store. Sinundan naman nya ako and did the same thing with the trash he was holding. He was even smiling like a fool. Inayos ko naman ang mga dala ko, checking my wallet if it's in the plastic bag na, umiiwas pa rin tingnan ulit sya.
"So paano ba 'yan? Good bye na?" he told me, standing there in a manly posture, his left hand inside the pocket of his pink hoodie while the other is waving me good bye. Medyo nalungkot naman ako that time passed so fast. I admit it, I enjoyed his company kahit ba sandali lang naman kami nagka-usap. I really thought he's that mayabang and overconfident guy but he's so much more than that. With the advice he's given, it screams a mature and a responsible man.
"Good bye na?" tanong ko rin pabalik. Medyo nakonsensya naman ako na maiiwan pa siya rito as I remembered he's waiting for his friends to come back. An idea popped up to my mind and I decided to do it naman so I went for the cashier. I paid for the small black label na nabasag ng kaibigan nya. He noticed what I did kaya naman lumapit sya sa akin, ready to stop me from what I'm doing.
"You don't need to do that" he softly told me but I just smiled at him, extending his hands to my arm.
"Yeah, I don't need to do it. And you don't need to give some advice to me either but you still did. Look, I'm just returning the favor" I tried to ease him which he did naman. Halos makahinga naman ako nang maluwag when he withdrew his hands at napakamot na lang batok niya.
Hinarap ko naman na sya after I received the receipt and the change. Nilagay ko muna iyon sa wallet ko bago ako lumingon sa gawi nya where I caught him looking at me too, like a puppy.
"Salamat" he told me which made me smile.
"You're welcome. Thank you for the advice din. It made me feel... lighter" me trying to tell him that it's him who made a good deed between us.
Napailing na lang sya while smiling and walked slowly, waiting for me kung kaya naman ay sinabayan ko na sya. He opened the door for the both of us and we were immediately greeted by the cold wind. We were both quite, waiting for each other.
"So paano ba yan? Good bye na?" he repeated, scratching his nape. Palinga-linga pa ito, tinitingnan ang paligid.
"Wala eh, it's already night na. I guess it's goodbye na?" I told him, ready to walk towards the direction to our house.
"Wait, Joe!" I heard him calling me na kinalingon ko naman muli sa kanya. He paced himself faster to reached me and walked beside me.
"Bakit?" I asked him, completely confused.
"I'll walk you home" he just replied to me and I just smiled at him.
"Walk me home? Dalawang kanto lang layo ng bahay namin dito bruh" natatawa ko pang sabi sa kanya but he just shrugged me off.
"Kahit na, madilim na oh. Delikado pa naman panahon ngayon" seriously, he said as he looked at me. I just accepted his reasoning.
We just walked there in silence, side by side. It's just for a few minutes pero parang ang tagal naming naglalakad dahil siguro ay hindi kami muli pang nag-usap. When we reached the gate of our house, I stopped in front of it, maging siya.
"So... ano? Good night na. Salamat sa paghatid" thanking him for what he did. Hindi naman ganoon kadelikado ang lugar namin but he still walked me home.
"Okay lang, nabusog naman ako sa pagkain mo. Also, you got me out of that store. Mukhang napagkasunduan ata nila na iwan na ako dun at hindi na bumalik" natatawa pa niyang sabi.
"Ganoon ba? Kawawa ka naman" I told him in a nag-aasar na tono. Napailing naman sya sa tinuran ko.
"Ako pa? Makakalabas pa rin naman ako dun. Siguro kakausapin ko yung babae sa cashier na pautang muna after ng mangilan-ngilang bola" tuloy pa nya habang natatawa na kinailing ko naman.
"Iba ka talaga, isa kang legend, master Uno!" I just replied to him which made the both of us laugh. Though, after a few minutes ay natigil kami, nangangapa who would say good bye again.
"So paano ba yan, mahahamugan ka na. Good bye na" I initiated. Nginitian na lang nya ako and waited for me to open the gate.
"Oh, good bye na" he bid too and started walking slowly kung kaya naman ay papasok na ako sa gate.
"Yung ballpen ko pa pala isauli mo sa cafe! Bukas! Promise, 'di mo pagsisisihan!" sigaw pa niya kaya naman napasilip pa ako sa gate para tanawin sya. He was even waving at me before he started running. I don't know but that made me smile.
This night is like a bliss. I don't know but a stranger made everything feel lighter by just a small conversation, in a convenience store.