Kind of awkward isn't it? Standing next to your crush, pretending there isn't anything possibly related to feeling between you guys, while he is casually filling out an application form. But oh gosh does he look handsome while doing that. Him being tall, he has to bend to fill the form, which he is doing while tilting his head. This reveals a sharp jawline. His handsome features somehow soft but making his face sharp, make a somewhat cute concentrated expression. His slightly long hair is fluttering from the soft breeze, which the open window lets in.
He suddenly tilts his head in my direction making eye contact with me with his deep dark brown, almost black eyes. It was like you could see the stars in his eyes. They formed galaxies. I could bet that these are the prettiest eyes in the universe. "You've got something to say? You have been staring for a while", he breaks the silence. "Not really, just waiting for my turn to fill out the form", I sheepishly replied. I got caught staring…. Way to go!
"For how long are you going to pretend that we don't know each other and put up an act of a mystical lady?", he questioned signing the form and lifting his head after finishing the form which felt like an eternity. "Never did that, don't know whom are you talking about", I answered partly admitting to myself that he was right. But he doesn't need to know that. "Sure, but what about…". He was cut off by me putting a hand on his mouth impulsively. "I get that this library seems empty, but you never know for a fact". "Do you never plan on talking about it, or want to forget it?" he asked with a weird expression. He seemed somewhat confused and disappointed?
"I don't this is the time or place to talk about it and the break is almost over" I said quickly filling out the form and signing. "Then, I'll see you around?" he promptly questioned. "Sure you will", I said putting the pen in my backpack and brisk walking out of the library fighting the urge to turn around and look at him before leaving. Gosh this is so stupid.
Classes are over. I slowly take out my homework and proceed to finish some of it. I prefer to go back through peaceful hallways after everyone is gone. It gives me a sense of satisfaction. I pack my bag and proceed to do so. As I leave the building and approach the gates I notice a person wearing earphones and a navy blue hoodie standing leaning on the wall near the gate.
As soon as the person hears my footsteps he lifts his head. It is Koda. Ignore. Pretend you did not notice. With these thoughts I proceed to wear my earphones and bury my head in my phone, while aimlessly swiping back and forth on Instagram.
Suddenly I feel a tap on your shoulder. I choose not to react, obviously knowing who it is and just walk forward. Before you realize it, I am turned around and earphones are briskly but still somewhat carefully pulled out of my ears. "When are you going to talk to me? You avoided me the entire day and keep giving me excuses!". "Where were you before? You never bothered contacting me for months! And after the way you treated me excluding the fact that you did not contact me, you have the audacity to expect and demand something from me?", I screamed letting go of my cool. Koda stood clearly confused. "I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about, care to elaborate?", he raised his eyebrow. "Use that amazing top student brain of yours and think". With these words I ran off and caught the bus leaving frustrated Koda behind.
Sitting on the bus I put my earphones on and leaned back on the seat. So frustrating. Why was he doing this to me? With his actions he showed he didn't care about my feelings. So why was he caring now? He was toying. The rain and the sad music weren't helping. I let go of my stress and frustration through tears. No one is looking anyways.