It had been 7 hours since Emblaze had weighed Wolfe down with his task for the next 3 days. The man had waited beside Wolfe until 11 A.M. when he was called to Zychs for an emergency meeting, all while Wolfe continued to wonder what the answer could be.
"1 P.M.," Wolfe thought. "Almost time for lunch."
The thought of 7 hours passing depressed Wolfe since it felt like he had wasted that precious time and had no leads on the answer. Tired and sweating, he sighed heavily as he walked back to the servants quarters for his meal.
30 minutes passed and Wolfe walked back to the spot where Emblaze had asked him the question. He hadn't noticed this when he had first arrived here at 6 in the morning, but he could now see the minute insects scurrying across the grass. A line of ants marched in an orderly fashion towards their ant-hill, clearing away any small coagulations of soil that obstructed their path. Watching the determined ants push away any and all debris implanted several ideas into Wolfe's mind.
He was glad that he witnessed this spectacle. Taking inspiration from nature was clearly the best way for him to progress. He would push away all the 'pebbles' plaguing his 'clay', just like the ants had cleared their path of all obstructions.
Propping his back up against the stump of a once-gigantic oak tree, Wolfe closed his eyes and focused on his thoughts.
Questioning himself inwardly, Wolfe tried understanding what insecurities troubled him. The answers he came onto were varied but they all shared one trait in particular. Hatred.
He hated that the family he was born in determined how great his future would be. He hated the self-centered attitude most royals shared and the entitlement nature that seeped out of every orifice of their body. He hated that he only earned enough money to barely help his family survive, and now that income would be lessened even further because Alexa Claire was the one appointed with maintaining the welfare of his parents.
God knew he absolutely despised Alexa. The woman was like a parasite that latched onto the royals in hopes of gaining even the slightest of benefits. She wasn't benevolent in any sense of the word. Sharing her rewards with lesser earning servants wasn't a construct that existed in her mind.
She had screwed over Wolfe and many others countless number of times and what could they even do about it? Complain to the royals? As if they would listen to a servant's life problems.
This hatred, Wolfe realised, was a consequence of his insecurities. He knew he had to get rid of this hatred, but how could he? How was he supposed to totally get rid of these feelings when they were the driving force for him to do better? If people like Alexa, the embodiment of greed, did not exist in this world, then Wolfe wouldn't have to go through so much pain. But at the same time, he wouldn't know what good people were like. Similarly if Haik's sinister nature didn't exist, then Emblaze's compassion would go unnoticed.
After the whirlwind of clashing thoughts settled in Wolfe's mind, he wondered if getting rid of his insecurities by pushing them away and ignoring their existence was the right answer. Sure, it would be nice not to always get infuriated at the thought, but he wouldn't be who he is if these thoughts didn't exist. He wouldn't have developed an empathetic nature if these malicious thoughts didn't push him towards it.
Thus the idea of destroying his insecurities was determined to be invalid. This also made the idea of ignoring them obsolete since acknowledging them was what allowed him to move towards the opposite end of the spectrum.
Wolfe stood back up and faced the sky as a frustrated sigh left him. No matter how hard he further searched for the answer, the only result he would land on was that behaviours exhibited by organisms around him were the key.
After idling for a couple more minutes he left the meadows, defeated by his lack of wits. He slumbered his way over to the servants quarters and lay down on his mattress at the foot of his father's bed. Age had ruined the mattress which was now hard as a rock and yellowing at the edges. The fabric tore off the top exposing huge chunks of cotton beneath.
Despite its ruined condition, Wolfe had a strange obsession with this mattress. He couldn't sleep at night if it wasn't for the odd sense of protection it provided him. Maybe it was nostalgia that drove this sensation, but Wolfe couldn't put his finger on it.
Wolfe slept until 5 in the evening then returned to his usual duties at the mansion. The boy had skipped taking a bath because he had to catch up to the backlog of work that had piled up since the morning. This directed disgusted looks aimed at him by both royals and fellow servants. He finally washed himself when the sweat and grime that collected at his forehead began to upset him.
By the time Wolfe was done with dinner it was already 10 P.M. and sleep wouldn't return to him that night. He laid awake on his ancient mattress for a few hours, searching for any reasonable solution that could relieve him of his dilemma.
He ended up walking back to the meadows at 1 A.M., an act he had never performed in his life. His eyes were heavy, but the thought of sleep did not cross his mind. He felt energetic and full of purpose despite the long day and wondered if he would remain this active in a few hours when meeting Emblaze.
The pitch black of the night was only irradiated by the faint glow of the moon. The far-away stars were beautifully sprinkled across the sky. Few trees surrounded Wolfe, but they provided him with a sense of security despite the fact that their canopy blocked out most of the moon's glow. Their shadows cast across all visible ground before Wolfe, forming the image of an empty void that could suck the boy in at any moment.
The chilling air seemed to suck out the strength from Wolfe's invigorated body as the knockback from the day's activities finally hit him. And it hit hard.
Wolfe hadn't exercised in a long time and the pain from the 15 minute jog was returning to stab him in the legs. He finally gave in and collapsed to the ground where he spent the rest of the night in the comforting shade of the trees.
The 5 A.M. call sounded once again in the distance, alarming Wolfe as he jumped up from his bed.
"Bed?" Wolfe confusedly questioned as he searched around the green expanse for his yellowing mattress. The vast emptiness around him was a grave contrast to the compact room he was used to waking up in. He felt exposed in the vastness, like he was being observed by some unknown entity.
He stretched his aching body which seemed to have recovered a little by his 4 hour nap. He could've sworn that he felt some of the bones in his back creak as he bent forwards and backwards.
The faint yellow glow of the rising sun over the horizon slowly streaked through the bluish sky, almost like an infection spreading across the body. "It's nearly 5:30," Wolfe concluded as he walked back to the mansion entrance to meet Emblaze.
"Am I right to assume you didn't get enough sleep last night?" Emblaze questioned as he noticed the dark bags under Wolfe's eyes. He noticed some dirt stuck to the boy's elbow and smiled lightly. "He must be determined," Emblaze assumed as the two left for their jog once again.
The next 15 minutes of excruciating pain would remain ingrained in Wolfe's mind for a long time. The soreness from the previous day was catching up to him and the fact that he had to run uphill to reach the meadows made it worse. By the time they arrived at the spot Wolfe's calf muscles felt like they were on fire.
The first thing the two did after a 5 minute break was exercise. Emblaze said that Wolfe had to strengthen his body in order to handle more complex techniques and more importantly to remain alive during a tough fight.
Wolfe was blessed with 30 minutes of break time after an hour of exercise and he used that time to lay down and catch his breath. The sun had risen already, and Wolfe couldn't help but wonder how much time he had wasted since coming to the simple conclusion that getting rid of his insecurities wasn't the answer.
These thoughts wouldn't last long since Emblaze would soon create a distraction. For the next 3 hours until 10:45 A.M., Emblaze taught Wolfe about the basics of magic. They would then have a short 15 minute break for refreshments before continuing with studies.
Most of the basic information was brand new to Wolfe since he had never had any formal education. This saddened Eblaze as he saw how curious Wolfe was to learn more. Maybe if Wolfe had been offered the same resources as Ray, he could have become much stronger.
Emblaze continued teaching Wolfe until 3 in the afternoon when both of them decided to call it quits.
Sitting with their backs propped against the oak tree stump, Emblaze and Wolfe did not speak a word. The silence wasn't uncomfortable since there was no animosity between the two. Both of them accepted that the silence was due to how tired they had gotten throughout the day.
But persistent silence can often be alarming. Especially when there's something on your mind that you don't know how to deal with.
The silence remained untouched.
Wolfe did not know how to speak his mind, and Emblaze had nothing in particular to talk about. So the two just sat there, teacher and student. They sat for an hour. And then another. But even as time passed, the silence didn't.
The silence stayed.
It stayed until they parted ways for the day.