Please give me constructive criticism as you read the chapter, or you can leave it all in a single chapter comment.
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A teenager was standing at the bus stop, waiting for the bus. "*Yawn,* great to be done with the exams, mom and dad will be happy with the results." It came from the clearly exhausted teen, as the bus arrived. He entered the bus, checked in with his travel pass, and went down to the seat furthest back in the right side of the bus, where he always sat when it was free. Then he put on his headphones and closed his eyes to take a nap like he always did.
Around half an hour later his body woke him up by itself like always. When the boy looked out the window, he only noticed the fact that they hadn't arrived at the station yet. 'Geez, why is the traffic becoming so much worse? It's fucking up my schedule; sadly, not something I can do anything about.' And just five minutes later, he was out of the bus and on his way home, which was around one kilometer from the station.
'One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four…' His thoughts went, as he looked mostly at the pavement while counting his steps. As he was walking, he made sure to also be aware of movement in his surroundings and stopped at red lights, like any sane person. At the last two hundred meters he switched over to a jog and stopped counting steps.
After going down three side roads, the teen finally arrived at his home and went through the gate at the front. Before him was a lawn of over five hundred square meters, and a pretty big house with two stories, a basement, and a slightly slanted roof, around 22.5°. The walls had a bland yellow color, that matched quite well with the black roof.
He entered the house and called out. "I'm home." To which a deepish male voice responded. "Hey!" and a little later a tall man with a broad stature walked into the hall. "How did your exams go Asbjørn?" "Great dad, I even got a 10 in Danish and Idea History, everything else was a 12." The teen, named Asbjørn responded with a big smile. (A/N: grades in Denmark are: -03 (didn't show up or hand anything in), 00, 02 (passed), 04, 07, 10, 12 (best))
This caused the dad to burst out laughing and exclaim. "Linda, get in here, Asbjørn just passed with flying colors." He then gave Asbjørn a big hug that lifted him from the ground, even though he was 195 cm tall. They moved to the kitchen where a woman, who looked to be in her early forties was waiting with a big smile. "Great job Asbjørn, we knew that you could do it," With a smile she patted Lars' back. "Lars, let him go, I can't hug him with you in the way." With his wife telling him what to do, the man named Lars released his son, so Linda could give him a hug of her own.
They had spareribs and sugar potatoes for dinner that night, even though it wasn't Christmas eve, and for once Asbjørn was allowed to eat as many of each as he could. Another great thing that evening was that he didn't get into any discussion with his little sister for once, and as he didn't have school the next day, he could stay up for a good bit longer. That night, a happy and satisfied Asbjørn went to bed, blissfully unaware of the chaos of the next day. (A/N: In Denmark it's tradition to eat sugar/caramel glazed potatoes at Christmas, they're also called brown potatoes)
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When Asbjørn awoke the next day, he was greeted by the sight of a transparent rectangle with a blue tint floating above him, and instead of exclaiming something in shock like most normal people, he just stared at it with a confused expression. This was because, for Asbjørn, his room had a special feeling of security and safety to it, so having something new appear while he was sleeping, just confused him more than it scared him, as things appearing while he slept were often related to gifts by his family.
After pondering about the rectangle for few minutes, he was just as clueless as before. Then he decided to quickly skim what was written on it.
[[Status
Name: Asbjørn Nielsen
Level: 0
Exp: 0/100
MP: 150/150
STR: 13
END: 11
AGI: 9
INT: 16
WIS: 15
WIL: 14
Titles: [World Traveler]
Class: N/A
Sub-classes: N/A
Skills: Disabled]]
"What the fuck is this thing? Some kind of game status?" He exclaimed after skimming it, and when he turned his head to check to see if other stuff had happened to his room, it followed his movement and continued blocking his sight. "Get out of my sight, you're… oh it actually disappeared." He said with some surprise. With it now gone, he checked his room for changes, of which he luckily found none, afterwards he got out of his bed so he wouldn't stay there for the whole day.
"Alright, now that I know it can disappear, let's see if I can get out again. Open the rectangle." Nothing happened at his command. "Really? You disappear when I tell you to get out of my sight, but you don't reappear when I tell you to, what kind of asshole thing are you?" He complained out loud to no one. "Anyway, I can always do this later, I'll just get on with my day for now and maybe ask mom and dad, if they've heard of this stuff before."
When Asbjørn entered the kitchen, he saw Linda making some lunch. "Morning mom, it seems like I woke up later than I expected." She giggled lightly. "Yeah, this is way later than normal and good morning." "Why are you home right now mom? Shouldn't you be at work right now?" He asked curiously, as his mother was rarely one to work from home. "I was supposed to be at work today, but something happened at work and they had everyone stay at home. Weirdly enough, something similar also happened for dad, so he's in the workshop."
"That's weird; anyway, I got something I want to ask if you have heard about before." Linda grabbed her plate with lunch and walked towards the living room. "Sure, but I'll be eating while we talk." She said, as she sat down at the dining table, with Asbjørn taking a seat opposite her. "Before I explain what it is, I'll warn you that it's something pretty out there." She just nodded, as she began eating.
"Something weird had appeared while I slept, it was a transparent floating rectangle with something called a status on it. It was in the way of my view when I woke up, so I ask it to disappear, which surprisingly, it did, but then it didn't appear when I asked it to reappear." Linda looked at Asbjørn with a shocked expression and hurriedly finished chewing her food. "Are you being serious?" She asked in a worried tone, to which he just rolled his eyes in the 'of course you don't believe me' way. Then she asked again. "Do you really mean that you've forgotten about your status? Just say or think status with the intent of opening it, then it'll reappear."
Now it was Asbjørn's turn to be surprised. "You mean that you've always known about this? But why didn't you ever tell me about it then?" "What are you talking about? The system is common knowledge for every human, and you certainly knew about it a few days ago, so I think something is wrong on your part." She told him, which he responded to by shaking his head in denial. "I don't believe that, I've never heard about this system thing before now." But, just in case of what his mother said about the status thing was true, he called out "Status."
The rectangle appeared once, proving that what his mother was indeed true. "Huh… it seems like it really might just be me, as it worked exactly like you said it would." He said while reading the content more thoroughly this time. "See, mom was actually the correct one this time, though I do wonder what caused you to forget about it." She says with a voice that's both happy and concerned at the same time.
"I think I might know what happened." Asbjørn said. The thing that had stuck out the most to him when he reread the status, was the title named [World Traveler], and when he was curious about the title, another rectangle popped up.
[[Title
[World Traveler] - {Mythical}
Description: The owner experienced their world change around them, and their body took a couple traits from the changing space and concepts around it. Traveling across worlds is a feat that is unheard off.
Effect: Grants the two skills [Minimap] and [Sub-space], and gives an increased spatial affinity to the user, should that become relevant.]]
"What is it Asbjørn?" Linda asked with interest. "I seem to have a title called [World Traveler], and from what it says, either I'm a different Asbjørn than the one you know, or you are a changed version of the mom I know, maybe even both." He says in utmost seriousness, his bright amber eyes staring into her eyes.