Nostalgia, melancholia and reminiscence was what Sir Rowen Miller who was a second world war veteran - a man of tall stature and a great physique that said a lot about him being a strong man, felt every last moment of his life. He felt like an inmate at the maximum security calaboose where the apartheid fighters were locked in for detainment. A slammer is no place for cry babies man, hence the detainees were cry wolves. Some were fearing for the lives of their loved ones and that forced them to give in as sacrificial lambs in the hands of the perpetrators who were cold hearted as the devil himself. The memories of black freedom fighters being assaulted, smashed against the wall or strangled to death were flashing back in his mind like it was yesterday. The thought of a little girl who was always visiting in his dream made him lose the last straw of sanity he had been left with after all those testing times. It could be his subconscious mind that was playing tricks on him but he was always having the same dream all over again and it was bothering him to the point that he was adamant to do something about it. He was now an old man, all miserable and physical drained and the only person he had been left with who was close to him was his old employee, Mavis Masemola. Mavis had been working for the Miller family for the past thirty years. She knew all their secrets together with their dirty laundry. Mavis had already reached the years of being a pensioner but she was feeling all bad about leaving Mr Miller, now that he was a bit of a loner. Sometimes the old folk would mumble to himself saying things that were only known to himself and that gave Mavis some creeps for she was not sure if her old master was losing it. She wished she could find someone who was his close relative but that seemed impossible. The only relative of him who could had been looking after his interests was his niece who was living in London. This niece of Rowen by the name of Lindsay Hallman was insisting that her uncle should be taken to a retirement home where he could spend his last days in tranquility. Lindsay was twenty five and was chasing her dreams of becoming a well qualified chartered accountant and above that she was engaged to her childhood sweetheart. There was no way that she could drop everything and care for her frail uncle. She felt sorry for him but she had a lot on her plate hence she suggested a retirement home. But her uncle was hell-bent to find his mistery heir. All those words were harsh and did not sit well with him for he was in the hunt for his supposedly the heir to his empire. Had the time come for him to die before he found that person, he would leave a great deal of investment and his twenty eight acres piece of land which was now a well developed farm. He had performed a few generous deeds of giving a portion of his wealth to some few organisations, one of which was the safe house for children with cancer. He did this on behalf of his late wife Maureen who died of lung cancer. Maureen died a day before their thirtieth anniversary which was also her birthday. " She would have been eighty five ", Rowen was counting every time her birthday came. He would take the big family photo album and page it slowly until warm drops of tears roll down his wrinkled face. " Don't cry Row, don't cry", he would console himself and wipe those tears with his old handkerchief that Maureen bought for him on their last trip to a family holiday. He still remembered that trip as if it was just yesterday and he missed his wife so dearly. He felt like he lost one of his bones. He was weak to the core now that his pillar of strength was no more.

Mavis was a loyal employee and an additional member to the Miller family. Being a black woman working for a white family during the apartheid era meant two things. You chose to become a white man's pets or a black man' s enemy. Times were hard then, when Mavis came to work for the Millers. It was a time when a black person was not even allowed to buy a packet of rice from the shop where their master( the white man) did. The second world war aggravated the situation since food items were put on a scale before each sale so that they would not run out, leaving people struggling to find something to eat especially after the war. The blacks were threatened to be put behind the jail bars for such a trivial offence of buying things that were set aside for white people. They would suffer for such a much acclaimed privilege for white people. Back then there were many laws that hindered a black person to step in a white man's territory. There was a black land act of No 27 of 1913 where a black man was prohibited to own or purchase a plot of land in the white acclaimed territories. Such was a criminal offence and could cost the party concerned many years of imprisonment. No black man was allowed under any circumstances to share the public facilities with a white man. Such was a criminal offence either. There was an obligation to mark the white owned facilities as 'Europeans only'. Some of these facilities were public lavatories. Sharing a lavatory with a white man as a black man was a criminal offence too. This colour bar act was introduced so as to make a black to be somehow inferior than a white man This reminds me when my father owned his first vehicle. He had to drive during the night to avoid being prosecuted for owning a car when a black man was not allowed to own one. That was ironical because the car was sold to him by a white man and he could not tell that a white man sold him a car. He better kept quiet and sneak around during darkest hours of the night to avoid being asked for the permit to travel especially by a motor vehicle. So, he had to be accountable for two crimes. To be black and own a car and to be black and not having a permit to travel in the white owned areas. That too was an serious offence. He was dodging police vans to avoid to be thrown in jail. It felt like being black skinned was a serious offence too.

Rowen came to South Africa in the midst of the Anglo Boer War. He was one of Sir Alfred Milner's kindergarten. Sir Alfred Milner was a British high Commissioner who had assigned his regiments, the kindergartens to combat the domination of the Boer( the Afrikaners) in South Africa with the intent to colonize the land. Rowen was amongst those soldiers who fought that battle. He came at the time when white domination was a burning issue in the land. Now there were two white powers(the Britons and the Boers) fighting over the black man's land. The Boers won and the land fell into their hands thus they became the super powers. There were few black people who were in the frontline to fight this demon of white domination. Some were killed along the way and they who survived carried on with the struggle. The black resistant movements were being launched in the black townships. Although these movements were conducted in private sessions, their effect gave the white people a hard time. The private meetings were held in the backyards of the leading members. The issues that were discussed were to overthrow the white supremacy. The white officials had to come up with the laws and decrees that would Impede the black from carrying on with their strive for freedom. This led to the banishment of one of the huge black resistant movement, the South African National Congress which is now the leading political party in the country. This party fought for the equal rights amongst all people regardless of their race and colour. They fought against the 'whites only' laws that are now no longer applying thanks to the struggle and bloodshed battle that were carried in regard to this effect. Now a black man can dine in the same restaurant as the white man. A white guy can have an intimate relationship with a black woman, something that was a crime during those days of the apartheid.

Rowen was one of those white people who were fighting against the idea of watching a white man walking hand in hand with a black woman. " When in Rome do as the Romans do", this was what Rowen was up to back then. His was hell-bent trying to destroy the little spark of what was seem to be love between his son and a young black woman who was a daughter of Mavis' friend, Sarah Mathebula who was a teacher in one of the farm schools near where Rowen was living. Cynthia, Sarah's daughter was a dark skinned beautiful young girl with dimples that adorned her round face. She had beautiful eyes that were complemented by her set of well arranged and beautiful teeth. She was a natural beauty. Her father was one of the freedom fighters. He was shot during the black resistant movement campaigns. He left behind his widow Sarah raising Cynthia and her brother. There were rumours that Rowen was behind the shooting. This happened during the time when Rowen 's son Owen was secretly seeing Cynthia who was a member of student freedom fighters at that time. This gave Rowen headache and he felt betrayed by his own son who decided to graze in the camp of the enemies according to him. He was adamant that nothing of that nature would happen as long as he was still breathing under the sun.