"Why did I end up loving the wrong person who hurt me the most ? why is love so cruel?" I yelled my heart out.
" I had told you repeatedly , but you didn't listen to me once " Varun Singh replied quickly.
"Yaa , I don't know how can I be so dumb to get into the same trap twice " I started to howl.
"Deepali, you have to be strong . common, you are a fighter , don't give up" he advised me.
"With whom will i fight ? ...with my heart or with my mind , with my soul or with my body , every part of me loves him , who will i fight ?" I screamed with sorrow.
"Ok , don't worry , I'm coming there for two days . We can discuss it better but till then , no tears , okay ?" he asked caringly.
Suddenly , after hanging up the phone , I got a message from my love.
"I cannot love anyone else the way I love you ... It's just impossible. You can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see but please don't close your heart to the things which you are feeling right now" he texted me and my heart melted after reading out the message but I had my own war between my mind and my heart. My mind was constantly thinking about what my ear heard. That was the first time when I realised that , I never knew I could feel so much pain and yet be so in love with the person causing it. From the next day , my daily routine started , I walked up to the bus stop and waited for bus to come , I didn't have my breakfast as obviously I was habituated to him and I couldn't had my breakfast alone. I got on the bus and asked for a ticket , the conductor gave me a ticket but didn't take the fair .
"You don't have to pay , your fair has been paid" bus conductor stated.
"Who paid it to you ?" I queried.
He pointed to a guy standing some steps away from me and that was Varun. I understood that he would have came to pick me up but I had my self respect and it didn't allowed me to be with him anymore.
"Take this and give him his money back"
I paid my fair and stepped out of the bus. After that day , he knew I was ignoring him and didn't want to see his face, So he didn't came infront of me but many times I had felt his presence near me , as if he was gazing at me but being hidden.
But every night , he used to text me two to three lines of his love for me and in the last he mentioned " I'm fine , don't worry about me , we will be together soon". That's when it felt like he knew me from my body to my soul , he knew my insecurities, he knew I must be worrying about him , his health and our relationship , so he was trying to provide me assurance about our relationship.
"It's harder to wait around for something you know might never happen , but its harder to give up when you know its everything you want , and I know what I want ...Don't worry , I'm fine , we will be together soon" he texted something like this each and every night.