It was raining heavily outside and I was sitting in one corner of my room, my eyes were drenched, I was shivering sitting down cold and thinking about all that happened to me, I lied to everyone even myself that I have moved on completely but sometime your wound recover but give you a scar which you can't erase forcefully, it takes time. Pretending to be happy is the worst feeling we can ever had.
I cried till morning and then I realised, I should stop lying to myself, only I can stop myself thinking about my past life , only I can heal myself.
So, I stood up and walked near my cupboard, I took out the Diary which I had written in his memory , in which I had expressed all my feelings and in addition to that I took out all his pictures , cards which he had given me as a tocon of love , I took out everything which belongs to him and put them on fire. And then I had deleted each and every memory of him from my phone.
I was tired of hiding my pain and listening people saying, 'you smile a lot'. So, I took my first step towards healing myself completely. I really felt satisfied when I had done that , I felt calmness inside me. After that I took a shower and got ready for my work, when I was walking to my University, a thought hit my mind "how did Varun Arya felt my pain ?"
"Its just because, he might be in the same situation where you were"(MY INNER VOICE) again started interfering in my life.
While walking few steps away from my home , at the end of my lane , I saw Varun standing near his car waiting for sombody and that somebody might be me so I walked near him and asked "are you waiting for someone ?"
"yaa" he replied.
"You can say me for whom you are waiting ?" I asked genuinely.
"It's you, I'm waiting for you" he answered.
"But why ?" I asked with concern.
"I felt sorry for yesterday and I couldn't sleep last night, just thinking about you".
"What ?"
"No not exactly about you , but about what I have done with you". he said it sincerely.
"Just chill, you haven't done anything wrong and you don't have to say sorry"I said smiling at him.
"Can I say something?" he asked politely. "Your eyes looks like you have cried badly last night but your smile proves me
wrong" he said in a confusing voice.
"What do you mean by saying 'my smile proves you wrong' " I started pulling his leg and smiling at him all the time.
"I don't how to explain but today's smile is pure, you seems to be relax and joyful today" he said it with a little excitement and spark in his eyes.
"Yes of course, I'm cheerful today".
"I'm happy to see you like this" he smile at me.
"Can we have our breakfast together ? If you have really forgiven me for yesterday then you have to come with me" he insisted.
"Yesterday is gone , it's a new day my friend , we should enjoy it without carrying worries of our past or thinking about our future , okay. And yes we can have our breakfast together" I simply expressed myself.
"Let's go , then" he said quickly and got into the car , I too got inside after him.
He drove me to a nice comfortable place.
"I think , you might like it because it is one of the restaurant from where you can enjoy the view of whole city".
"Yes, I loved it".
He smiled at me and said "let's sit there" he pointed to a balcony table from where the view was clear and it was close to nature which I loved the most.
"I think you have visited this place many times before for breakfast" I just asked him out of my curiosity but I was shocked by his answer.
"No, I have never visited this place before and now I'm going to share a secret with you " he paused for a second.
"what's that?" I interrupted.
"I didn't remember when did I had my last breakfast".
"What ?"
"Yes, its true , I don't wake up early to eat my breakfast" he said honestly.
"Are you kidding me ?"
"No, its true, I wake up till the lunch time" "Oh my god, sorry to say but you are very lazy kind of person" I said sharply.
"You should change this bad habbit " I advised.
"you can help me , if you want" he stated swiftly.
" How can I help you?" I didn't have any idea what he was talking about.
"We can have our breakfast together everyday , so that I won't miss it anyday". "Yes we can do that but can you be able to wake up so early in the morning everyday" I asked generously.
"Yes I will try, are you ready to help me?" he asked giving me a continuous smile.