As I approached the gates of the town I noticed two men seemingly guarding it. They were dressed in something you would think a medieval knight would wear. A bit creeped out by the cosplayers I tried to strike a conversation to try to determine my predicament more throughly.
"Hi. May I ask what the name of this town is?"
Confused Cosplayer 1 looked at me and said, "Je bucuba tilé amone ito ritoni seclusea nevooda?"
Sh*t.
I have never heard of that language let alone do I know how to speak it. I don't even have my phone so it's not like I have boogle translator.
"Do you speak English? Anglais? Engels? Английский?"
Cosplayer 1 furrowed his brows and grabbed my arm. " Eglë nollei je foreingere!"
"Hey! Let go! Where are you taking me?!" My pleas were ignored by the cosplayer. He said a few foreign words to Cosplayer 2 and then proceeded to drag me away.
And so here I am. Stuck in this disgusting, dark dungeon. A f*cking dungeon. Seriously, who the hell is the rich guy behind this sick set up?
Mad at the world, I said to the prisoner, "Why the f*ck do you keep flipping me off, you old fart?!"
He only looked at me dumbfounded.
"You speak english too?! Oh thank the lord. And I'm no sure what you mean by 'flipping you off', but I was only stretching my finger. It cramps up every now and then."
"Can you tell me where we are?" I asked.
"We are in a village called Heinitch. It was recently captured by one of the many enemies of this kingdom and-"
I swiftly cut him off "Kingdom? Like, the United Kingdom? Is that where we are?"
Annoyed that I interrupted him, he replied with, "United Kingdom? Never heard of it. This is the Kingdom of Goreit."
"Well then, how far is it from Florida?" I asked, confused.
"What? What are you talking about? There are sixteen different kingdoms and none of them are called 'Florida'."
Damnit, this is making my head hurt.
"Whatever, I'm not going back and forth with you anymore old man." I could hear him scoff behind my back. Ignoring him, I turned around in my cell and looked for a relatively clean spot to sleep. Before drifting off to sleep, I asked him one last question. "What are you in here for?"