Arghhh! Damn it! My head hurts!"
Indescribable pain surges through my head, I feel dizzy, my sight grew unsteady, and my boner morning ready.
Ah yes, this familiar feeling after getting my ass drunk. Most beverages that contain alcohol to knock you down will always taste like sh**.
But that's not the point. It's the feeling man. Feeling drunk is the best.
Never asked a girl out before and you need extra confidence temporarily because you are insecure about your involuntary celibacy? Drink booze > become more confident > get rejected anyway.
Oh right, where am I? Yes. My head feels sh** right now and feel like I'm going to vomit my heart out.
My sight that is previously dizzy slowly adjusted to an unfamiliar room.
'Where am I?'
Bam! A sliding door suddenly opened with an accompanying shout. "Bocchan!"
What entered my vision horrified me, as the tall muscular figure set his eyes on me.
Who wouldn't be frightened? A scarred face, a large dragon tattoo on his exposed right shoulder. Talking about a theatrical entry of a bad guy.
'Wait, why he is in kimono?! Japanese?!'
Shocks. I realized something.
"Are you a Samurai?!" My head goes on full throttle as I thought maybe he is a yakuza! I don't know why I said, Samurai, that's the most logical thing I'll say when I see a person in Kimono.
'Does one wear underwear while in kimono or let your sack hang like a wrecking ball? The heck am I thinking.' Let's stop with these unsolved scientific questions for a bit.
What he'll do to me? Cut me with his sword so fast that I will not even see him drawing his sword? Anyway.
'Yakuza?! I'm pretty sure I never borrowed money from foreigners!'
Why I did not borrow from the Yakuza? Well, I am patriotic after all and I only support my fellow countrymen. Always support local organized crime!
But my previous remark seemed to have been heard by this guy and he turned blushed. "Oh bocchan! I didn't know you see me as honorable samurai!"
My fear subsided a little after seeing his expression, I cannot help but ask: "Wait huh? Are you high?"
"High as a soaring the dragon!" He replied with stars in his eyes.
"Yeah! Ryuu-sama is our dragon! Bocchan can you not see his amazing tattoo?!" Said the another Yakuza.
"Bocchan I also have a tattoo on my butt!"
'On your what?!' Certainly, the situation is becoming more confusing to me and my previous drunkenness is as good as gone.
Behind this dragon guy, tens of fearsome folks are there. Many are tall and cheated with buff me up GTA.
'Okay calm down for a second.' Calming myself I started surveying my surroundings.
'It's a clean place, I didn't pass out in a place like this.' I thought. This place also screams Japanese. I remember being drunk in my home with the boys and having karaoke using the money we earned unconventionally.
But one thing is clear. 'Where the fu** am I?'
"Uhm bocchan, are you alright?" The dragon guy interrupted my thoughts.
"Bocchan?" I asked unsurely.
"Yes! You're our young master! We heard you screamed earlier!" Dragon guy replied.
"You also sound in pain!"
'Oh. So they heard me. Wait "Young Master"?' I thought.
I can't help but ask again.
"So... Who am I?"
"The next-in-line head of Shuie-gumi! Raku Ichijo!"
Poff! I blacked out.
"Bocchan!"
The moment I heard "my name" I blackout again and fell to the soft futon and as my consciousness is slipping away, I can still hear their wacky call to me. "Bocchan".
'What a lame title. Bocchan, more like bocchan these nuts.' I thought before completely passing out.
[Bocchan = Young master]
----
Before I found myself in this world, I am a simple country-loving man, doing good.
I am aware of my tall intimidating stature, like a servant of justice that I and with fellow country-loving bois with me. We go hunting. I don't know who they call a bully or what. We just surround some small-looking dudes and gals and they give a generous amount of sum.
See? True to our creed, we beat them up equally. Men or women, Nah, we need booze and shit.
Well, that's all I can say about me and I passed out while drinking and now in this "comic". That's what I have concluded.
Right now I am washing my face. Seeing my new self in the mirror. 'Who is this familiar wuss?'
'Not intimidating at all! I look like Justin Bieber-ass!' I thought. Looking at my face right now. This Raku guy looks like a ballsack.
I'm more manly than this guy! No muscles? I could crush this guy's head with my biceps in my previous life.
Anyway, I know this "comic" I have read it before. Previously back then when I am out crusading for our daily consumption, I have encountered a brat that do not have generous donations so I "confiscated" this "comic" from his bag, he is calling it "manga", the fu** is that anyway? Well, I got a few volumes.
Like a truly good man that I am, since it is a few starting volumes, I have to read the rest of it online. Of course, I do not pay because I am a man of culture!
Walking out of my room, still in my sleeping clothes. That Ryuu guy is in front of me.
"Bocchan, are you fine?" He asked in worry.
"I don't know. And grab me some food, I'm starving." I replied while massaging my stomach.
I think I'm still in a dream and shall enjoy this wacky comic. I just don't give a sh*t, I don't want to think about it because I don't think!
Continuing my stroll I thought to myself: 'As they say, go with the flow.'
"But bocchan, you knew how to cook right?"
His reply stopped me in my tracks and I turned to him "I knew?"
"Yes! You always cook for us every day! We're waiting for you to cook our breakfast." He replied.
"Wow, that's very convenient of you— urgh!" My sentence stopped, there's an accompanying sharp pain in my head as memories of "me" cooking for these guys. This is not my memory!
"Young master!" Yakuza-guy said with concern
"I'm fine," I said as I wave my hand "Tch! Fine, I'll cook it."
I immediately heard this yakuza-guys cheering. It's funny as always. 'Wait, as always? This is not my memory!'
I might be crazy right now.
---
'I can cook?!' I did expect it, but I'm pretty sure I cannot cook. I only eat the food my glorious mom cooked and noodles that I masterfully... bought from the convenience store.
While I am thinking, I heard shouts from these brawny guys.
"Let's thank the young master for cooking always amazing foods!"
"Right! Amazing as always!"
"Cheers!"
"Haha! Stop it guys y'all making me blush here!" I shouted back which made these yakuzas laugh cheerily.
'Not bad, I like the vibe here!' I thought.
But still, I'm pretty damn hungry so I started eating the food for myself. And instantly the flavors exploded to my taste buds.
'Damn, I cannot believe that I can cook now, haha! Amazing as always, me!'
As I ate, there are some lingering thoughts in my head, I seemingly have learned how to speak the Japanese language.
'Cool I guess, I can now sound like that Goku-guy.'
Blissful as this world, maybe dream. I became a protagonist of a comic and surely I'll pretty much wake up later.
What a wacky dream it is.
I continue to interact with the guys here and did not take this experience very seriously because it is temporary after all. Right?
And later that night, I slept soundly.
The very next day. I opened my eyes and—
"Why the hell I'm still here?"
'Wait. Wait. Isn't this the same room? I-I don't understand, is this what sleep paralysis feels like? I swear I won't drink booze anymore. I mean I'll now drink five times a week than seven, that's seven minus two, that'll do! But still, this is scary!'
Sitting on my futon and suddenly a thought emerges in my brain and I shouted: "Oh no! I'm going to be late!" I immediately stood up like a disciplined military man.
But then... 'Wait a minute, what am I late for?' I thought suspiciously of myself.
Then memories flowed in my head again and can't help but think: 'I need to go to Onodera's place!'
My body moves on its own as if preparing to go for a bath. I forcefully stopped myself.
As I stopped confused: 'Am I crazy? Who is Onodera—' Memories that aren't mine is flowing in. 'Oh Onodera my love! W-Wait?!'
"Argh! What the f*ck is wrong with me!" I shout as I try to find a wall to bonk myself with.
Finding a nearby seemingly solid wall. I dive head-first.
Bam!
'Ouch! That hurts!' I thought as I touched my forehead.
'I don't want to be here anymore.' I thought while massaging my aching forehead. Yep, I'm bocchan or whatever and now can cook and speak Goku but I'm sad! I don't want to be crazy, I just want to be normal!
'Damn it! Aight I'll go to Onodera's place isn't that the one that this body has a crush but he is such a wuss.' I chuckled.
As I said, I did read this manga but I'm casual and can't remember anymore even though I read it a week ago.
"Tsk." Thinking about it now, I remember being frustrated while reading it, this guy had these girls falling over him and he acts like a doof.
'If it was me—' I stopped my thought. Now that I think about it, I didn't experience being in a relationship.
'Hmp! I ain't jealous and I can do better than him if I try it seriously!' I huffed.
'Zero pussy. Zero bank balance. Nine cases of bullying. That's my motto.' I thought so proudly.
Now, where am I? Ah right, I need to prepare.
'Since I am now this guy, I might as well experience how it feels to get a girl — wait a minute, that sounds depressing.'
I then hurriedly bath myself while desperately thinking what is the reason for going there. I barely remember what's in the manga.
'Isn't that going to their shop? What happens again in the manga? Whatever, I'll step in there and handle it.'
"Speaking of going there, do I even know the direction?"
After finishing cleaning my ass there, I'm pumped up! I will be officially walking in the streets of Japan! Talking about visiting a foreign country without spending a dime, who wouldn't be excited?
'Let's go!! Anyway, what will I wear?'
After looking inside the closet for an amazing outfit, it took me approximately 2 seconds and find my outfit of the day!
---
The Yakuzas are doing their own thing inside the residence.
Yakuza are organized, after all, counting the money, and keeping the money coming. Establishing influences to other regions of Japan.
But on this particular place, this is Shuei Clan's turf! But there is one thing bothering these hot-blooded Yakuza.
"Damn those bee-fuckers!(Bee Hive Gang), how can they just walk here on our turf!"
"Right! If the boss wills it! We can easily wipe out those Americans!"
These hot-blooded members of the Yakuza are infuriated by the presence of another gang close to its territory.
"So are you questioning the actions of the boss?" It is a sudden question but the atmosphere instantly turns cold.
Do they know who is that? These members who are complaining are not below the hierarchy, they are even guarding the residence of the Supreme boss.
But one can still see the beads of sweat falling from their foreheads. They know whose voice it was.
"F-First lieutenant!" They are tense now. One wrong step and they are better as gone. The first lieutenant is still staring at them coldly.
"W-We dare not to question the boss! W-We swear!" They replied hurriedly in unison.
And fortunately, the first lieutenant lost interest in them and walks away followed by other elite members that guard the residence.
They can not help but breathe in relief.
'T-That was close...' They thought bitterly.