Dr.Stewart grew up to be a proud Bioengineer. His knowledge was far more powerful and able to comprehend the facts than most average people. A very timid man that worked hard in bioweapons research. Being able to manipulate DNA proved it was evolutionary for man to do so. He thought.
He stared at the clone body within the glass tube. Her hair was white, young like snow and her eyes were wide open. Red pupils and cute just like he made her. Lifeless like a doll. Almost as if begging for his soul. An empty vessel with no mind.
His breathing grew heavy now. He could imagine the police storming into his room and arresting him for doing unapproved experimanets.
It was his own bitter guilt yelling at him. Perhaps Gods voice? Yeah right he thought. If God is real then he must be as evil as myself. He added to his reassurance. An impossibility. Tossing the guilt aside and he sat down on his messy couch. Bags of chips littered the floor.
He rubbed his untrimmed beard. Suddenly he stared back at the artificial incubator. Again he felt the temptation flooding him, arousing his mind and forcing his heart to pound.
He swallowed hard as he stressfully covered his face with his hand, then stood up. He knew the responsibilities that would come after awakening her. He would have to transfer himself to the body to eat, shower, go to the bathroom. It was too much, but if the temptation got strong enough. He knew it would be too late after pulling her out of the incubator. The goods and the bads were extremely balanced, but the sinister little voice of illogical temptation kept itching at his thoughts.
He saw himself punching in the password into the computer to release her. His mind was blank as if something else was controlling him. In reality he knew he clouded his own mind. Withheld his logic. The tube opened with a hiss and now the wet girl fell into his arms. He waited a few seconds. Thoughts about adopting her as his own daughter emerged as he waited to find out wether her brain was occupied by a conscious or empty as he had planned. His suit began to moisten as water from her hair was absorbed by his clothes. Her head rested against his left bicep like a corpse. It was almost cute if he didn't know she was as if dead, soulless.
Thirty minutes went by, but he still felt fear. He gently shook her shoulder. She didn't react. She only breathed calmly. Dr. Stewart slowly moved her head up and her empty stare met his. His heart began to race, but then he quickly realized she was empty.
His hand brought her eyes closed as one would do to a dead corpse.
He pulled out his Iphone and began to record. "Beginning phase one. Uplinking to vessel." He stated and swallowed hard. He had to start immediately or else the vessel would starve to death.
He placed the headset on her head. She still made no reaction. Her naked body was now on his own bed. Then, he put on a headset like device on his own head. He slowly rested on the couch and placed a laptop on his belly. His joints ached as he relaxed.
"Beginning transfer. This is a live human transfer, unlike the machine transfers done by the military.....This has never been approved. May the results bring glory to science." He made an unsure smile as he pushed the countdown sequence on the laptop.
His heart began to race as the numbers slowly went down. He took a deep breath.
"10..9..8..7"
He looked at the girl on the bed and his heart began to race again. This time his gut churned. Something's not right.
"4..3..2..1" He closed his eyes and his body went numb. Everything went black. A nightmare to him was the possibility of going dark. Losing sight, taste, pressure, all senses forever. Being stuck in utter purgatory. Never knowing when you'll meet death as a coma patient or if you're not already dead. Darkness, but still being able to think.
For a second he began to panic, but then his feelings slowly came back. He opened his eyes and felt naked on the bed. Instantly knowing it succeeded.
"Holy shit!" His voice unrecognizably high pitched as he sat up. He saw his fifty year old body sleeping on the couch. His Iphone had fallen on the ground after the transfer occurred. The laptop still on his original body.
"I'm not dead am I?" He looked down at his new body. The sight of breasts gave him a sick disgusted feeling.
"It worked..." His attention shifted to his old body.
Dr.Stewart grabbed the IPhone. It was still recording and only a few minutes had passed since the transfer.
"This is Dr. Anthony Stewart. The transfer was a complete success..in case I do publish my f-findings that is.." His voice and excitement began to die down as he looked at himself in the mirror. A naked girl holding an iPhone near her mouth.
Guilt began to creep up again. This time he felt worse than before. The lust he had for the body he was in now, was completely gone.
"What was the point..really?" He whispered. The girl in the mirror was alien to him. Alien to everything. Nothing was like he had imagined. His feelings, his pride was gone. His depression was also gone. So we're the perversions of his old flesh. His aching knees, his recent cavity, his poor eyesight was in the old body.
He looked down at the clothes he planned to dress the vessel in. Dresses, cosplay. Nothing clicked anymore, but he put it on anyways. A black dress with a big bow on its back. He had a thing for this sort of stuff, but now he realized it wasn't important. A thorn of his old flesh.
Sorrow filled his chest as he made food. A breakfast burrito with vanilla coffee on the side. He felt like his mom when she used to make him food as a kid. Maybe a sister would make more sense he thought as the egg sizzled.
It was done. He took a bite of the fluffy tortilla and tears began to run down his face. The food tasted Godly compared to his original body's sense of taste. The egg was superb and the cheese was a juicy blast of pure joy.
"When the hell did my tastebuds die? ." Tears flowed down his cheeks as he chewed, nearly tipping over the cup. He then took a sip of the coffee and the sweetness was heavenly. His eyes were wide, red hostile pupils like a vampires. He ate so well on a daily basis that he had gotten so used to it. No wonder depression struck him he thought. Perhaps while getting old, a chain of events leads people to depression in most, he added in thought.
He also noticed his emotions were numbed while he was in his original body. Now he felt like the smallest compliment would make his day. The numbness caused by his depression was also gone. Hope replaced his hopelessness.
His body was alien and if he stayed in the new body for too long. He would lose grasp in his visions and war paradigm. Perhaps it was too late to some degree he thought as he stared at his old body. Already he felt he understood many new concepts.
The vision of modern combat, the wisdom of life, the knowledge of science was as strong as ever, but what good was it if his emotions were dictated by female traits?
It was morning. Dr. Stewart found himself staring in the mirror after adjusting his tie. Back in his own body. He passed by the sleeping girl in bed. There was no point saying bye, feeling anything for it because they were the same person now. It could be anybody in that body, perhaps a way to live forever. Disposable. He had truly discovered eternal life. He looked back at the door and opened it.
He was back in work.
"Dr. Stewart." Dr. Simmons smiled with an outreached hand.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't notice you..good morning." He replied back with a warm smile.
The project was focused on a bio armor weaponry. A living creature programmed into a living suit. They called it Knight. Dr.Stewart was lost in deep thought as his coworkers cheered at their progress. The large screen showed footage of a needle piercing into a parasitic life form under a microscope. He knew that was his first step into designing it.
"The Knight was successful. Well talk about weaponizing it later. For now drinks on me!" The department financial lead laughed. Dr. Stewart imagined the monstrous Knight entering the battle field. People being killed by it's hand. Something created by the help of his very own hands. Was this remorse coming from...her? He thought. Before he'd never even consider this.
She's was just a body. Nothing more than a vessel. A structure for us. Gender identity was just an appearance right? Right? A choice? He thought desperately as he looked around. His coworkers talking, laughing, but he felt alone. Dr. Russel laughing with a drink in hand. He started to freel a buzz in his head. Possibly from a panic attack.
"Dr.Stewart. Are you ok? You don't look well." The department leader stated. He wore a black suit with a red tie. His grey beard and mustache were his most notable features.
"I think I need to take a sick day.."
"Alright..I'll approve it. Get some rest..and hey. Clearly you've done a good job." He smiled as he patted his shoulder.
"Thanks.." Stewart forced a smile.