'Someone' Special [ 11 / 20 ] 3.5K words
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Thanks for your support Casey!.
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Christine was distraught. Her feelings for Alan were a jumble, and last night things had only gotten worse.
She'd had a very intense erotic dream about him. In the dream, Alan had taken her on a date, just as he had in real life three times already. Only this date was very romantic and sensual from the very beginning. They savored a leisurely candlelight dinner in a dark and expensive Spanish restaurant. She wore a daring strapless dress that just barely reached up enough to cover her nipples. Soft guitar music strummed around them.
The two of them were constantly touching, joking, and generally acting with giddy happiness as if they were already lovers.
But they were not. So in the dream, Christine said to him, "Alan, my dear, I feel guilty being here like this, with you. What about Amy? It feels like we're cheating on her even though we're only holding hands."
Alan replied, "To tell you the truth, I just broke up with her."
"You did? Why?"
He leaned across the table towards Christine. "Because I can only think about you. If it wasn't for your research, I would ask you to be mine. But I can't distract you like that, not when you're so close to a cure that will save all those children. And the most important thing is that you get that Nobel Prize..."
(Christine's dream had some unrealistic elements, as dreams often do. In this dream, Christine and Alan looked much the same, although she wore her hair a different way, showing that the time was not the present. By this time Christine was apparently a famous scientist.)
Christine protested, "Forget all that. I would throw away all the fame and prizes for true love. But for all your helpers, your many lovers, who knows what could be."
"Forget them too!" he said with theatrical emotion. "I've left them all. The only woman I want in my life is you. They were just a desperate attempt to help me forget about you when you turned me down, but it didn't work. I only have eyes for you. Will you have me?"
"Oh Alan! Yes!"
The rest of the dream continued in this melodramatic and clichéd manner. Naturally, a big kiss followed, which curled their toes. Somehow, the restaurant faded away and they ended up in Christine's bed, necking and fondling. But just as Alan was about to make love to her, in fact, just as he was lining up his erection with her pussy, she woke up.
She was very frustrated by that. She was even more frustrated in knowing just how unrealistic the dream was. Alan still had Amy as his girlfriend, not to mention all his "helpers," as Amy had put it the week before, and he'd made clear in their last "non-romantic date" that he wasn't going to give any of that up if he could help it.
Furthermore, Christine had kept an eye on Amy at school when she could in recent days, and it was clear that Amy was even happier than usual. Certainly things were going well in their relationship. If Amy allowed Alan to sleep with other women, why would he want to rock that boat?
Christine wanted Alan badly, but she didn't know what to do about it. She wasn't the type to steal him away from Amy, especially since she had explicitly promised Amy that she wouldn't interfere in their relationship. She had given the matter a lot of thought, so much so that her studies were suffering.
She'd only become romantically interested in Alan after his change from a scared "nerd" to a self-confident young man, and then she found herself sexually interested in him after hearing of his great sexual prowess, and finally had fallen in total lust with him after her emotionally shattering experience with him on their third "practice" date. Christine had to admit that her body had its own agenda and it was perfectly clear that it wanted Alan in a bad way. She even thought about completely swallowing her pride and joining in as one of his "helpers," if only to give herself some relief. The trouble was, the thought of swallowing her pride like that made her gag.
She had very strong emotional and romantic feelings for him. She had known him for three years, so even though they had started to do things outside of school only recently, she was surprised at just how much he meant to her, once she'd been honest enough with herself to really confront her own feelings. To merely have sex with him without all the deep emotional connection of a real romantic relationship would be a very bitter pill for her to swallow.
She decided the best thing to do was confront Amy about it and speak mostly honestly with her. She found Amy at lunch and talked her into having the two of them sit alone, far from everyone else.
As soon as they were seated at a remote table in the cafeteria, Amy huffed, "Boy! That Heather. She sure is a meanie, don't you think?" Amy wasn't usually concerned about school politics, but Heather's behavior in the "stinky" bathroom was still on her mind. She knew there was no love lost between Heather and Christine, so she figured she'd have a sympathetic ear.
Sure enough, Christine rolled her eyes. "What did she do this time? Tell me all about it."
After they'd bitched about Heather for a while, Christine steered the conversation around to what she really wanted to talk about. "Amy, I have something to say to you. This is painful to admit, but upon reflection, I think your arrangement with Alan isn't so bad after all."
Amy was quite pleasantly surprised. "Really? Cool! Actually, sometimes it does bum me out a little bit, but then I have to remember it's the only way. I feel better though if you're all okay with it. Everyone kind of looks up to you as, I dunno, kind of the voice of moral authority or something."
"Thanks." Christine was chagrined though, because being seen as "the voice of moral authority" only made what she was about to propose even more difficult to say. She was eating crow after criticizing Amy for allowing Alan to have other lovers only the week before. "Um, the thing is... Before I say anything, can you promise to keep what I'm about to say a secret from absolutely everybody?"
"M'kay. Sure."
She averted her eyes, and said bashfully, "Good. You see, when it comes to sex, I'm still a virgin."
"Nooooooo." Amy said that in a very sarcastic and mocking voice, and then giggled.
Christine was mortified. Her virginity was a very sensitive and painful subject.
But Amy saw Christine's reaction and said sincerely, "Oopsies! Please forgive me. That was very rude. I should know better than to joke because I was a virgin too until just a few days ago. I know how it's a really embarrassing thing to be a virgin when everyone else isn't. But I couldn't help saying that because you come across like you hate even the idea of sex. I mean, when a guy tries to flirt with you, you look at him like he's trying to throw poop in your face. Oops! I'm sorry again. I must be acting way too forward."
Christine sighed. "No, it's okay. To be honest, I really appreciate it. No one ever tells me that kind of thing. I guess I kind of scare everyone off. I'm glad I don't scare you... Um, God, I can't believe I'm asking this... Talk about being forward, but since you just had sex for the first time, was it everything you hoped it would be? Is it really all that great? I know it's none of my business, but I want to know what it's like so badly and I don't have anyone to talk to about things like that."
Christine suddenly felt very despondent, almost on the brink of tears. Most of the time she put on a brave face, telling herself that the only thing that mattered in high school was getting good grades, so the fact that she had lots of acquaintances but no really close friends was of little consequence. But every now and then the loneliness of her "Ice Queen" position would hit her, and she'd feel as if a bottomless chasm of loneliness would always be her fate. This was one of those times.
Amy was a very empathic person and she could tell right away that Christine was having trouble keeping it together. She reached out and put her hands over Christine's in a supportive gesture. "Are you okay? Can I help?"
Christine was touched, but she suddenly pulled herself together and faked a smile. "Thanks, but I'm good."
Amy didn't believe that, but she let Christine have her space. "Oh. M'kay. If you ever want to talk to me about anything, I'm cool with that. But anyhoo, to answer your question, yes! It's great! You know, I've been talking with some other girls lately, especially since I've been de-virginated, and I gather that usually first times aren't that great. But Alan made mine totally super special. Like, double wowerrificallyfantabulistic! You should have seen all the flowers and candles everywhere! He was so romantic and gentle."
Inwardly, Christine melted with satisfaction. She smiled as she imagined herself in Amy's place, and recalled her dream of Alan being the ideal Don Juan lover. "That's nice," she purred.
But then Amy continued, "You don't know the half of it! He started off all gentle to make sure he didn't cause any pain when he went in for the first time. But then after a while I got used to it and he started going faster and deeper. Before long, it was like WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!" Amy smacked her hands together with each "wham."
Christine was shocked out of her reverie by Amy's completely unexpected loud voice and smacking hands. "What? What happened?"
"Oh, I'm just trying to describe for you what it's like. That's what it was like after a while. It was like, WHAM! Over and over. Alan was like some kind of human pile driver. He just kept fucking me, over and over and over. And over!" Her eyes went really wide, like she could hardly believe it herself. "So hard. So deep. So good. So big. God, he's so hung! It felt like I was getting impaled on a baseball bat, but I mean that only in the bestest, most pleasurable way. You know what I mean?"
Christine was shocked, not to mention suddenly aroused. "Amy, please!" She looked around and confirmed that no one was listening. "You don't have to be so graphic."
"Sorry. I'm just trying to explain what it's like since you asked. And gosh! You wouldn't believe how long he can last! He's like the Energizer bunny guy. God, he just fucked, um, sorry, he uh, penetrated me with his thingy, for hours! At least it seemed that way. And then we woke up in the middle of the night and did it even more! I was so overwhelmed that I yelled out 'Take me!' I know that sounds cheesy, but that's how I felt. It was like he tamed me with his big, uh, thingy. Sorry for being so graphic, but I don't know how to talk about it otherwise."
"That's okay." Christine was wistful now. "It sounds so good. I wish... Well... Amy, you know, I've been the biggest fool. I've been completely ignoring my sexual needs. Maybe that's one reason why I'm so cranky with everyone all the time. I want what you have."
Amy replied enthusiastically, "Totally! You should totally do it! Sex is great. It's better than great, it's super duper amazoultrawonderificallyfantastic! With your looks, you should be able to get just about any guy in school. The only thing I'd recommend though is that you should ask him out yourself, 'cos of your reputation as the Ice Queen and all."
"Thanks." Christine sighed. "The only problem is, the guy I want is already going out with someone. I'm speaking about Alan."
"Oh! Uh-oh. He's going out with me. I'm his official girlfriend, you know."
"I do know." Christine couldn't help but roll her eyes a bit at Amy's stating of the obvious. "However, you were telling me about how he has an open relationship. You know, all his 'helpers.' So I was thinking: would it be..."
She started to blush and stammer. "Well, what I'm trying to say here is... Could it, er, would it be totally impossible for, uh, for him to have two girlfriends? Er, what I mean to say is... Um... If he needs that much help, that is? I mean... I'm just kind of brainstorming here. I don't want to go around your back, so I thought I'd ask your permission before I talked to Alan about that." She dropped her head and avoided eye contact, ashamed by the words she was saying.
Amy was very cautious in responding to that. She was well aware of the way that Alan had pined for Christine for most of high school while he'd largely ignored Amy's attempts to interest him in herself. Like Katherine, she was very open-minded about Alan's other lovers in general, but knew the threat posed by Christine, both because of Alan's history with Christine and because Christine was so amazing at everything she did. It was very tough to compete against her.
There was a long pause as Amy thought. Christine's heart began to sink.
Finally, Amy said, "Um, that could be a problem. There can only be one Official Girlfriend, and that's me. I'm sorry."
Christine suddenly blurted out, "I don't want to remain a virgin forever! Amy, you seem so happy. I'm so miserable. I never realized it until lately, but I am!" She'd never been so nakedly emotional with people as she was at that moment, but she was so despondent and needy that she didn't care what she said or did. She felt like she was teetering on the edge of that lonely chasm.
Amy could see that Christine was about to lose it and start crying. Her heart went out to her friend. She put her hands on Christine's hands again. "Christine, I can imagine how you feel. Alan's a pretty special guy. Once you have him, you don't want the run-of-the-mill guys anymore. The problem is, there are a lot of girls who want him, and there's only one of him to go around."
"I know." Christine's strong self-discipline was reasserting itself and she was pulling herself back from the brink of crying.
Amy continued, "But since you're so bummed and all, and you and Alan are friends, well, it would be okay with me if you wanted to fool around with him a bit. But just every once in a while, m'kay? He's already pretty busy with that kind of stuff as it is. Really super busy, in fact. But I should warn you before you do it, it's like I just said: once you have him you won't want anyone else. All of us, Alan's girls, we're all hooked."
Amy's voice suddenly turned very serious, but also curiously gentle and understanding. "Are you sure you want to be hooked? 'Cause once you are there's no turning back."
Christine was touched. "Oh Amy. That's so nice of you. I imagine that's not an easy thing for you to say, 'cos you're probably scared of me. Hell, everyone's scared of me. I'm really not that scary. I just... need to learn how to open up and deal with people a little better... The thing is... Thanks for your offer, but I don't think I could just be 'one of his helpers.' He means too much to me. Once I opened my heart to him like that, I think it would be more painful than anything to only be able to see him and be with him every once in a while. Maybe it's better for everyone if I just remain friends with him and I just keep seeing him on these non-romantic practice dates we're having... God, Amy, I was such a fool! If only I'd said yes when he asked me out!"
Amy tried her best to commiserate, but she didn't know what to say. She had many reasons for preferring that Christine not get physically involved with Alan, but she figured it wouldn't be smart to voice any of them. Instead, she just squeezed Christine's hand to show her support.
Christine wanted to be alone to feel sorry for herself. So she said, "Thanks. Thanks a lot, Amy. You're such a giving person. I can see why you would turn down my 'two girlfriends' idea; it's probably completely unworkable. For one thing, I'd never live it down at school. I don't know what I was thinking. It's just that I want to be with him so bad. You make it sound so wonderful, not to mention incredibly pleasurable. I wish there was some way I could turn back the clock before he had all these helpers, but now it's too late for me. Please don't tell him we had this talk, okay? I still need to think this through and figure out what I want. I especially don't want to ruin the platonic fun I'm having with him right now."
"M'kay. Don't worry. It'll get better, I'm sure. You're such an amazing girl; wow, I couldn't even imagine being all smart and hard-working and talented and everything like you. Not to mention so beautiful. I'm sure you're totally gonna find some super wonderful guy of your own real soon."
"I hope so. Thanks again for listening to my crazy ramblings. I don't want to fight you over Alan; I'm not that kind of person. I've got to go." She stood and hurried out of the cafeteria.
A few people, including some of Heather's spies, had witnessed the encounter from a distance and wondered what the obviously emotionally-intense conversation between two girls who were only remote acquaintances was all about. But no one was close enough to hear, and neither Christine nor Amy was willing to give a hint to anyone else about what they'd discussed.
Christine wandered the school grounds alone for the rest of the lunch period, not bothering to eat. She really wanted to break down and cry, but her strong self-discipline, not to mention her pride, blocked her from having that emotional release. Deep down, she felt that she'd already permanently lost any chance with Alan, and Amy's obvious romantic happiness and great sexual satisfaction only made her personal sorrow that much more painful.