Bucky's POV:
I watch Charlie slowly coming back to her smiling, loving self. Everyday Maggie places her hand on her mom's cheek, it's like they're having silent conversations. And each time I see Charlie becoming more herself. Nightmares still happen. She still recites her mantra of who she is. She still wants to randomly fall asleep while I'm inside of her, even if it's my fingers. She tells me she sleeps better when she feels closer to me. She hasn't gone blank as much. Each time she looks at me with dead eyes it scares me more, but it's becoming a lot less frequent. It's a progress. But we don't leave one another. Showering together, eating together, sleeping together, walking together, everything.
Sam still remains, sleeping on the pull out in the office that has been moved upstairs. The old office is what's being turned into Callan's room. I watch Charlie as she gets excited about how to decorate his room. It's one of the most excited I've seen her since I got her back. She constantly asks my opinion on things, and she loves that I want to offer input as well.
"Mommy?" Maggie's little voice calls to Charlie. She moved her seat at the table to be beside her, she's almost the same as me, never wanting her to stay too far away, even sleeping in the bed with us some nights.
"Yes, little pearl?" Maggie gives her a genuine smile when she hears the lightness in her mother's voice.
"Today is Thursday. I checked the chalkboard." Charlie looks over to the chalkboard where there's our house calendar.
"So, it is. Does that mean it's time for a peanut butter mixing party?" Her eyes are so bright and happy. I'm watching my girl come back to life.
"Really?" Maggie asks as her little legs swings on the chair.
"I mean, unless you don't want to." I tell her, giving her a smile myself, because seeing my wife so happy in this moment, has made me beyond ecstatic.
"Uncle Sam and Daddy too!" I give her a nod. "Do I get to pick out the movie?"
"Wait, what is a peanut butter mixing party?" Sam asks looking at the small girl.
"It is what it sounds like." Sam's smile falls. "We take peanut butter and add things to it, mix it around. It's good. We have all kinds of things to add. The first time do you remember what it was Bucky?"
"Yes, I added the Oreos and you added chocolate chips. Your mom just ate the peanut butter." She smiles over at me, leaning closer for a kiss. That was one of the first random kisses she's given me, since she's been back.
"Yep...and Uncle Sam we watch a movie. So do I get to pick?"
"Why don't we let Uncle Sam pick since it's his first PBMP?" Charlie asks looking at the small blonde. "Besides, I don't really want to watch Frozen or Frozen 2 again." Maggie gives out a small huff, and Charlie gives her a mom look. And then freezes. Everything was going so well.
"Doll, what's wrong?" I rub her back. She turns looking at me.
"She has her moments, but she's a good kid, Bucky. She really is."
"Honey, I know she's a good kid. You know she's a good kid. He didn't know her. He looked at her the way they looked at us years ago. An asset. A number. Not human. The people who love her, they love her so much. Even that annoying raccoon." I watch as her eyes fill with tears.
"Mommy? Are you okay?" She doesn't turn to look at her. "Can I?" Her little body comes up to Charlie as a single tear falls down her cheek. I give her a quick kiss removing it, and she nods turning towards Maggie. Her hand goes to Charlie's cheek, and I watch as her posture changes. "I love you, mommy. I'm sorry. Uncle Sam can pick the movie."
Sam looks between everyone not understanding what happened, but just nods his head. He can tell when we converse in our head, so he knows there's more. Charlie stands to clean the kitchen, but he comes closer to her, "Come on a walk with me, Charlie." Nodding she follows him. At the door Charlie looks back at me, not want to leave.
"I'm not going anywhere, honey. I'll be right here when you get back." My voice comes out reassuring but I see the fear in her eyes.
"Bad things happen when we're apart." A piece of my heart feels like someone tore it off me.
"Five minutes, Charlie. That's all I'm asking. We won't go far from the house." Sam gently rubs on her shoulder, her eyes look up at him, and then back at me. I give her a nod. And she nods looking up at Sam agreeing to the five minutes. Sam's good for her. He's calm and she trusts him.
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Charlie's POV:
I follow Sam onto the small little nature trail around the property. Walking in silence. I'm not sure why he wanted me with him, or if he just wanted me to get out of the house for a bit. "You want to tell me what happened? You've been doing so good."
I keep my eyes on the trail. I should have realized that Sam is extremely intuitive about my emotions. "He...Faustus called Maggie a brat. And now every time she has one of her moments it's like I need convince myself and Bucky she's a good kid."
"Because she is. You, Steve, and Bucky are doing a good job with her. She has manners. She is independent. She can entertain herself, but also have conversations with adults. She worries about people, and wants to help people. But she's also three, well three and a half I was informed. She's human. We all have our moments and our days. But that little girl hardly has any. And think of all the things she's gone through in her short life, and is still the way she is." Sam continues his long strides in the woods a comfortable silence settles between us, but I feel the need to tell him everything.
"He called Callan a bastard. And he's loved. His dad loves him so much already, and..."
"He was an ass. Anyone could look at you or Bucky at any point and they would know how much you and Bucky love your son, and he's not even here. Does him calling your kids hurt more than what he did to you?" He looks over at me. What does he know?
"What makes you think he did something to me?" I fidget around with my hair, and then begin popping my neck, moving to my knuckles. I'm uncomfortable.
"You had too many bruises and marks for him not to. Did you really just answer a question with a question?"
"I just don't like talking about it. He...he invaded my space. Callan, he struck him with lightning." I stop walking so I can fully look at Sam. "Before you guys left Bucky asked him to protect me at all costs. It's like he's already listening to him." I giggle. "I know it sounds crazy, but he knows Bucky. He loves when Bucky touches me, even when I don't."
"There's times you don't want Bucky touching you?" He raises his eyebrows. "Usually, you two can't quit touching one another."
"Before yeah. Sometimes I just get in my head, and it's not Bucky I feel but him, Faustus." I look down at the ground, ashamed that there are times, even a split second, that I don't want my husband to touch me.
"Have you two...been intimate?" I scoff at Sam.
"I mean...not like we were. It just..." he looks down at me, not in a condescending way, but caring. "I just haven't been able to...you know, climax. Before it was like no less than two to three times. And now I just want to make sure he's taken care of."
Neither of us look at one another, but I can see from the corner of my eye he wants to add something. "What about you? Bucky wants to take care of you, too."
"Yeah, but Bucky is almost too sweet. Right now, I just want...do I have to say it?"
"You want someone to take control and tell you what to do like Steve did?" He smirks, but he's not wrong. I nod. "Tell him that. He's probably being sweet because he thinks that's what you need right now."
"He's always sweet. He loves praising me, and I love it, but I just...I want him to be angry with me. Steve kissed me, and he's angry at Steve."
"Because Steve kissed you. So... you want him to be degrading?" I scrunch my nose at him and shake my head no. "You want him to mark his territory?"
Laughing I look at him. "I don't know, I guess. You would think that having wedding rings on would be enough, but..."
"He took those off of you?" I nod yes to him. "What all did he do, Charlie?"
"He just touched me and groped me..."
"Don't belittle what he did to you. You say just touched you, but you didn't want him to, so he shouldn't have. You're trying to lessen what happened to you Charlie." He looks down at me with his kind deep brown eyes, and I almost lose it. He did touch me, and I didn't want him to. Although it could have been worse, it doesn't diminish what happened.
"He threatened more than touched. And he was very angry after Callan started shocking him, but you guys saved me. Saved us. I never got to thank you." My hand holds onto his strong shoulder. Nothing has ever been complicated with Sam. We've always just been friends. "You know when I was first in Hydra, everything that happened with Bucky was our choice. Pierce and everyone else wanted to manipulate something good. I think that...it's like they feel us being together and having a child is their doing. Sam, I would go through everything all over again if it meant that I am Bucky's wife. There's a lot of things I'm not sure about, but the way I feel about him is not anything I've ever questioned."
"I know that. He does too. He just worries about you. Your...ticks since then, scare him, because he doesn't know what to do. And then there's Steve...he kissed you?" Sam begins walking again so I follow.
"Yeah. He kissed me, and I didn't immediately push him away. And when I did, he just told me he had to go." I look up at Sam, he shows no emotions. "Why didn't I immediately push him away?"
"You're pregnant. You were vulnerable. You love Steve. You have a ton of history. You have a daughter. I don't know. Why do you think you didn't?"
"You know he has to go back? If he doesn't, he's going to create a branch with an alternate reality. He has two weeks after Callan is born to go back. And it scares me to think that all this time...he's going to be actually gone. Gone from me, Maggie, Bucky, you. He'll actually be gone. That Steve, that's back at the cottage will be gone." I wrap my arms around my stomach. Still didn't answer the question.
"Okay, so is that why you didn't immediately push him away?"
"I guess. I don't know. I love Bucky though. He's been my constant. Things aren't complicated with him. It's not dramatic being with him. He loves Maggie."
"You trying to convince me or yourself? I know you love Bucky. Steve didn't make you smile the way he does. Steve could be very controlling. Charlie, I don't know why you didn't push him away. I don't think it fully matters. Do you want to be with Steve?"
"Not at all. I just don't want to hate him; I don't want Bucky to hate him. They have so much history, and it's like I came in between them." He stops wrapping his hands around me.
"Maybe you were trying to prove to yourself that you didn't hate him. Maybe just maybe you didn't want Steve to hate you. You hate seeing him moping. But you don't have to protect him. You don't have to make excuses for him. You don't have to absorb his feelings." I look at Sam. "Yeah, I know you're doing that too. You are absorbing his negative emotions to prove to yourself you don't hate him, hoping that he won't hate you for choosing Bucky, and it's exhausting you. Stop. If not for me then for Bucky, or even better for Callan and Maggie."
"You're right. I don't know why I've been doing it. I guess, I spent so many years making excuses for him. When we were engaged, I made excuses for why were weren't married. In the beginning I knew the real reason why Steve and I were just friends with benefits and knew it was her. It's frustrating that now that he has her, he wants me."
"Yeah...Steve was a lot of things...he just wasn't good with women, especially you. He'll go back in time, be a good husband to Peggy and you'll move on with your life." My eyes fill with tears because the current Steve and being a dad to Maggie is almost up. "And you'll take Maggie to visit the old man. I know you know where he is. And you're going to be thankful that Bucky is an amazing step dad and that she loves him."
"He really is good. Thanks Sam. So which movie are you thinking for tonight?"
"Now that's a serious conversation." He wraps his strong arms around me. Just holding me. "I'm here for you, whenever. Even if it's awkward, Charlie."
"Thanks, Sam."
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Third Person POV:
For the first time in weeks Charlie feels truly at ease. The familial blanket of her favorite people under one roof, and doing one of her daughter's favorite traditions harking back to the first full day without her dad. Each person spooned out some peanut butter adding in different mix-ins, Sam picking out the movie The Princess Bride, the group settles down. Sam stretches out on the loveseat, throwing popcorn to Steve who's reclined on the sofa, and to the couch which seats Bucky, Charlie, and sometimes Maggie who drifts between the couch and sofa.
Bucky holds tightly to Charlie, metal hand underneath her shirt and resting on his growing son, randomly adding pressure to her stomach just to feel his movements. Maggie runs over to her mom's side, "Can I try?" a flash of panic runs through Charlie's eyes. Everyone that touches her that isn't Bucky, Callan seems to shock, and the thought of pain being caused to her sweet daughter makes her want to say no.
"She'll be fine, doll." With a deep breath she nods her head. Bucky's hands slide out from under her shirt and goes with Maggie to touch her mom's belly. "Alright, come here, Maggie girl. Honey, you mind if I move your shirt up?" Charlie shakes her head no, joy on her face with how patient her husband is being with her daughter. "Give me your hand." He guides her hand slowly over her mom's stomach. Careful to make sure his metal digits also touch the boy's nest.
No shock is given to Maggie. However, she almost pouts at the fact that he's not moving. Bucky adds the tiny pressure to his son's home and the little baby kicks, landing directly under his sister's hand. Her giggle is high pitched and her face lights up from the feeling. Her pouty lips give a quick kiss to her mom's stomach before anyone can say anything, and Callan moves around so abruptly that Charlie's stomach rolls on the outside, "Oh that's weird." The little girl says, scrunching up her nose. "Why is he doing that?"
"Angel you did that, too. You loved when your mom would sing to you, and you would dance around in there. Looking like an alien trying to break out of its egg." Steve adds, smiling over at the interaction between the trio.
"Bucky, cover it back up. I'll just let him kick me and not look." Her eyes look up at her mom's with a bit of worry. "Does it hurt?"
"Not at all little pearl. It can feel weird, but doesn't hurt yet. Now you gave me some internal bruising from kicking so hard a couple of times. And the little hiccups you did and your brother is doing right now, that's an odd feeling."
Maggie's eyes go wide looking at her mom. "You feel our hiccups? I don't want to have kids."
"You weren't going to until you were forty years old anyways, darling." Bucky smiles at the little girl. He gives her quick wink, and she attempts one back, and then runs into her dad's arms, lounging back into the crook of his arms.
"Okay, let's get this princess movie started. I hope it's good Uncle Sam." And with that the group knows the baby talk is over for the time being. Bucky pulls Charlie close, metal hand back under her shirt, feeling the movements of his growing son, and loving this moment.
Charlie looks up at her adoring and patient husband, smiling and kisses his cheek. He turns looking at her, "What was that for?" He casts over to her mind.
"I love you James Bucky Barnes. With every part of me. Thank you for all you do for us." His form of a you're welcome is leaning in to kiss her on the lips. Savoring this moment, and how at ease his wife is, wrapped up in his arms.
Once the movie is over Steve carries a sleeping Maggie upstairs. Sam passed out on the loveseat, "Come on, Alpha." Charlie whispers in the shell of Bucky's ear. He's a bit hesitant at first. He can tell by the name and the voice she's using that they won't be sleeping.
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Charlie's POV:
Bucky follows me into our new bedroom timidly. I know that he's trying to protect me, but Sam is right. He's my husband and I should talk to him and be honest. I sit on the bed, turning and looking at him, using my finger to motion him towards the bed. "Before you left..."
"Charlie, we don't have to do this." He's patronizing me.
"Before you left, do you remember what you said to me?"
He smirks quickly before his face goes back to being solemn. "Sergeant Barnes, I believe I asked you a question." His feet slowly shuffle closer to me, using his thighs to spread mine apart, his hands come to either side of me while gently he rubs along my skin.
"Something about wanting to be in the same position but with a view of my pretty pussy." He looks down at me giving me a weak smile. "But we don't have to do that." He adds in.
"What if I want to?" I roll my eyes up to look at him, knowing he loves when I pout up at him with my doe eyes.
"Charlie..."
"James, I appreciate you for taking things slow with me, but believe me when I say I want this. But I want you to take control. I don't want things to go at an achingly slow pace anymore. I want to feel you, in all your ways. I want you to own my body, destroy it even."
"Doll, don't you think..." He wants to continue going slow.
"I want you to be the only person to claim me. You to be the only person who can touch me, and you're too scared to touch me. I have to tell you to. Just...can we go back to how things were? I miss that side of you." He looks down at me still not convinced. "I love your soft side, and that I'm one of the few people who get to see it, but I can't deny your angry side is sexy. Not going to lie in Bucharest I had some questionable thoughts about you when we were fighting at your apartment."
"Oh yeah, sweetheart? What were those sinful little thoughts of yours?" I watch as his pupils begin overtaking his bright sapphire eyes. His hands become more needy as they rub against my thighs, adding the slightest bit more pressure.
"The first thing that got me going was you calling me a good girl, and shortly after you knocked someone out with your fist without looking at him. Not to mention you grabbing that motorcycle and flipping it around. I bet if we had time to look at the seat there would have been a wet spot." I suck air in my teeth as Bucky's hands graze up my body. "I don't think you realize just how sexy I find you when you're feral."
"Charlie, are you sure about this? You know I would never make you do anything you weren't ready for, right?" I nod at him with a smile. "Okay, let's..." I interrupt him by sliding my fingers around the waistband of his sweatpants, but he quickly grabs my hands, halting the movement. "Eyes up here, doll." Once I give him my full attention he continues, "We can use a traffic light. Green, you're good. Yellow, slow down. Red, stop. You think you can handle that?"
I bite my lip nodding at him. "Charlie, honey, I believe you've done this before, use your words." He gives me a devilish grin. "My priority is for you to be comfortable."
"I can handle it, babe. Promise." With a lick of his lips, he pushes my hands out of his grasp. Getting on his knees his hands come into contact with my waistband, I stand allowing him to remove my sleeper shorts and panties in one fell swoop.
"She's so pretty, sweetheart." Bucky's voice comes out extra husky as he spreads my legs further apart. "I missed her." Forcefully his arms go under my knees and pulls me closer to him, causing me to go flat on my back on the bed. I gasp at the feeling and see his head pop up between my leg's brows raised.
"Green light." I answer. Satisfied he sinks his mouth on the inner part of my thigh, teasing me as my cunt throbs wanting his touch, leaking out arousal that gives the first feral face of Bucky for the evening.
His slow-paced kissing continues until I feel his warm breath at my drenched pussy, followed by cool air. His tongue swipes up my slit before adding a sweet kiss to my bundle of nerves. Before he continues his head peaks back up at me from in between my legs, causing a bit of a giggle, "Green light, Sargeant."
"Still so sweet, doll." He replies before his beautiful face dips down, devouring me like a man starving. A man who hadn't eaten in days. It doesn't take long before a tightness fills up my core. "Oh no, you hold on a bit longer. I've just gotten started." He warns. I try to suppress that build up that's developing only for it to be more intense.
"James, please." I beg for him to allow me a sweet deliverance. And he denies me by pulling his mouth off my sex. My chest heaves as I look down at my husband, still on his knees, but he has the smuggest smile as he wipes my slick off his beard. "You're an ass hole you know that? I was so close."
"I know. Wasn't ready for you to cum."
"But James." I whine.
"Uh uh, nope. Not working. Take your shirt off and get fully on the bed." His command has me excited and ready to comply. I don't recall a moment whenever Bucky has been so dominating. His eyes watch my face, and is satisfied with my smile. "You look so fucking beautiful swollen with my child, sweetheart." He pulls off his shirt, exposing his chiseled chest, and shimmies out of his sweatpants with a devious smile, stalking over to the bed. And I can't take it.
"James, just fuck me."
"Greedy little one, aren't you? Does my pussy want to be cock drunk?" Bringing his body over mine and caging me, showing just how much larger he is than me makes me shiver. An eyebrow raises looking at me.
"Green light." I answer in a whisper. "That was from needing you so bad right now."
"Oh really? My doll needs me that bad?" He traces his tip around my sobbing cunt, before smacking the tip on my clit.
"Yes, please. She's missed you. She wants you buried deep inside her."
"Well, what my pussy wants she gets." Hitching his hips forward harshly, he causes a gasp followed by a near cry.
Hearing me cry up has him freezing up, "Green light. Green light." I whisper. "I need you, James."
His lips connect with mine while he thrusts roughly into me. Not letting up. My fingers scratch along his back and biceps, clinging tightly onto him as he literally is rocking my body. Burying himself deeper with each thrust. A slight painful pleasure every time his tip hits my tender cervix. My nails dig into his biceps and create crescent shapes all up and down his arms. The feeling of his muscles contracting as he thrusts forward sends chills up my spine. "So strong, Sargeant. And all for me." I hum.
Bucky's lips connect with my neck, biting and suckling down each side, marking his territory, "Whose girl are you, doll?"
With a deep inhale I answer, "Yours. Only yours, James." Feeling myself getting closer, a request I have never asked of my husband whispers out, "Choke me." His wide eyes look at me like I'm crazy as his hips push into mine. "Please, you won't hurt me. Green light. Choke me."
"Red light." He answers in return, shaking his head no. I don't push it, just pull his mouth closer to mine. Feeling each pump into me becoming harder and less frequent, I allow myself to let go, with a screaming orgasm that Bucky swallows with his mouth. And then the sweet hot ropes of his cum fill me up.
His body leans back staring at me with a smile, both of us panting and sweaty. "You needed that, honey." His body goes to move but my hands hold tightly, keeping his softening cock inside me.
"Don't leave me yet." Even I hear the fear in my voice. I never feel safer than when he is in me. I sleep better, actually sleep, when he's in me.
"I'm not going anywhere." His hand brushes the hair away from my face, staring down at me like I'm the only person in this world. He sighs, his bright perfect eyes looking at me, "So, choke you?" Are the only words that leave his mouth. I'm speechless. "I've never done that...in a sexual way. Have you?"
He's not dumb, the only two people I've ever been with are him and Steve, but I nod. "And you liked it?"
"Yes." He bites at his lip. "It wasn't an all the time thing." I add it. He gives me a nod trying to find the words to say. "But if you're not comfortable with it, it's not a big deal. You've never struggled to make me cum."
"I've just killed people like that, Charlie." A deep sadness washes over his face.
"Don't overthink this, babe. We don't have to mention it again."
"You're not wanting me to do that to punish you are you? Remember nothing that happened was your fault." He shuffles around pulling the comforter over us, rubbing his hand along my stomach.
"No. It has nothing to do with that. James, I want you to be comfortable with it and if you're not we won't do it." My fingers trace along his face. He's so beautiful. Callan, son, you better look like your dad. He's perfect.
"Can I think about it? If you enjoy it, and I know it's safe for you, I'm willing to try. Maybe after you deliver our son though." He ends with a smile. I know that he's okay with this.
"Whatever you say, James. But if you're not comfortable you can red light it, okay?" I peck on his nose, tapping on his hips. "I'm okay now, you can pull out."
"God, I love you, Charlie. I'm so glad we found each other again." Body sinking under the covers he kisses along my belly. This man and his constant obsession with my swelling stomach. "And I'm so glad we've got you baby bean. Already my perfect son. Protecting his mama, makes sure other men don't touch what's mine. It's scary to think you're going to be like your grandpa, shooting off lightning already."
"Oh, don't jinx him." I groan.
Bucky's head pops up from under the blanket looking up at me with a smile. "What?"
"I want him to look like you. Now you're jinxing him saying he's like Thor." I'm such a brat.
"You act like Thor is a bad looking guy. He's a god."
"Yeah, well the mighty God of Thunder is no Bucky Barnes."
"Whatever you say, Goddess of Thunder." His smile turns up into a big toothy grin.
"I cannot believe you just said that Bucky." My fingers go to pinch his cheeks, scrunching up my nose as I shake his face.
"You can't deny it, goddess. But we can just keep this between me and you." His body shuffles forward, planting a kiss behind my ear before he whispers, "My goddess." And another shutter runs through my body.
"I love you, James."