Charlie's POV:
Bucky has been gone a day, starting therapy. I was able to help him find a small apartment in Brooklyn for when he needs to be there, so there's not so much traveling back and forth. He's become very distant when he's there, and I miss him. Maggie definitely misses him. She was getting quite used to him always being here.
That night Steve visits again. Knocking on my door, "Charlie? You awake?"
I shuffle around, unsure of exactly what's going on until my eyes focus on the super soldier in front of me. "Steve? Why are you here?"
"Where's Bucky?" He walks over to the bed and sits down on Bucky's side. Looking at me, waiting for an answer.
"He had to start court mandated therapy. And seeing how the therapist appointed to him is in Brooklyn he has a small apartment there. He'll be back tomorrow night. Again Steve, why are you here? And did you just open my door, and see Bucky wasn't here and thought you could just waltz right in?" I'm irritable. I hate how he's constantly waking me up, and even more so with how comfortable he is since Bucky isn't here.
"I see. Yeah, I was making sure everything was okay. Listen, about the other night." His eyes soften as he looks at me.
"Steve, I don't want to talk about that now. I'm not ready for Maggie or myself to meet Peggy."
"She's my daughter, too." His voice doesn't raise but I hear the agitation laced throughout his change of cadence. Almost a decade with someone you learn all the small inflections.
"But I didn't leave her. I'm not saying never to it. I'm saying, I'm not ready for that right now. Nor is she. Have you talked with Maggie about Peggy?" I sit up, fully giving him attention. I pull the duvet up a bit more. I'm completely covered with one of Bucky's shirts, but Steve in here and Bucky not is too close for my comfort.
"No. I was hoping you would." He looks down at the duvet as he begins tracing circles on there.
"Absolutely not. You want that to happen you have to talk with her. But also, I think we should let Bucky know about your visits before Peggy ever gets to meet her."
"You're probably right. How's he doing?" His eyes come back to meet mine.
"I only heard from him for a bit before bed. He seems fine. I guess we'll see when he gets home."
"Princess..." My eyes narrow on his. I don't think he has the right to call me that anymore. "Charlie, remember what I told you? This therapy, it's going to bring back all his memories as the Winter Soldier." His hand tries to hold mine for comfort, I jerk away from him. I don't need his comfort, I'm still pissed.
"He's not the Winter Soldier. He's Bucky Barnes."
"I know you see him that way. But what if he doesn't?" Pity laces through his eyes.
"We, me and Bucky, will cross that bridge when we get there. The only thing I can be, is be there for him."
"What about Maggie?"
"What about her?" I angrily look at him. He knows he's struck a nerve.
"What if he hurts her?"
"He wouldn't. He loves her. He's stepped up when he didn't have to. And do you think it's easy for him to see so much of you in her? But he enjoys the time he's with her."
"I trust you."
"You should." My phone vibrates on the nightstand. Lighting up with Bucky's name. "You should go."
"I still love you Charlie, and still want what's best for you, and our daughter." Steve stands and heads towards the door.
"Thank you. Now leave." I shoo him off the bed, I can't tell him I love him back, not yet, as I pick up the phone, "James. It's late, is everything okay?" He doesn't speak, I just hear his breathing, and it's panicked. "James, baby?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice. You're, okay?" His voice still sounds panicked.
"I'm fine, handsome. How are you?"
"Nightmare." A single word. Silence. "How's Maggie? Dreaming about the moon?" His voice has a bit of lightness back to it.
"Probably." He has no idea about Steve coming randomly to visit her, and I hate keeping that from him. "You want to talk about it?"
"Maybe when I see you. I just wanted to hear you. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called so late." The sadness returns to his voice.
"No. You call anytime. I want to be here for you, to listen to everything that's bothering you. You sleeping on the floor?" I know that sleeping on the floor helps ground him, and not sleep too comfortably.
"Yeah." He huffs out a laugh.
"Besides, I can't sleep as well since you're gone. It feels weird not having you here."
"I know what you mean." I hear sleepiness come back to his voice.
"But we'll be okay. I've got you."
"And I've got you, doll. Try to get some sleep."
"And you, too. I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."
"Love you, too." Neither one of us hang up. "Hearing you breathe is comforting. Can we leave the phone on, even if we don't speak?"
"Of course." We both fall asleep to random words, or thoughts, but mostly hearing the other breathing. I wake to a Bucky yelling, "Wake up, doll face! I'll see you tonight."
I grunt before telling him, "Good morning, handsome. See you tonight." As we finally hang up our five-hour phone call.
Thankfully before Bucky gets here, I got the package I was waiting on. I start making a nice dinner for him. He enjoys our little domesticated life, normalcy. I clean up the house, making it nice and homey. Why have I missed this man so much? Maybe because I spent the past five years thinking he was dead and gone.
"Maggie James? Do you have your room cleaned up?" The little toddler runs out, shouting yes, as she grabs my arm to show me her room. I hear the phone ring so I run to grab it.
"Sam? You haven't heard from me in what a couple days. You miss the sound of my voice?"
"Funny, Katniss. Actually, just calling to check on everything. Buck went to therapy, right?"
"Yeah, he's coming home tonight. Well...in a couple of hours. Maggie is excited."
"So, everything's good in that department? I know things have got to be weird with no Steve. It just sort of happened." I hear some kids playing around in the background with a woman telling them they better stop.
"Where are you?"
"Home. With my sister and her kids. You guys should come down here sometime. You two would get along."
"I would love to meet the bird brain's family."
Further from the distance I hear a woman laugh, "Oh, I like her. She won't take crap from you."
"Hush, Sarah. When you guys get situated with his schedule, you should come down. Be patient with him Charlie. And if ever you need anything let me know. I'm actually about to start some contracts with the Air Force. But I'll be here for you. Sarah, too. I'll send you, her number."
"I'd love that. I have no friends but you and Bucky. Wanda is...well I'm not sure. And, Nat..."
"I know. I wish things were different with her."
"You actually cared for her didn't you Sam?"
"Yeah, one of those complicated things though, huh?"
"I know all about them. Listen, you guys sound busy. Thanks for calling, and definitely send me Sarah's number. Be careful out there.
"You getting back in? You never went on an official mission."
"No plans, right now. My priorities are Maggie and Bucky, currently. Bye Sam!"
"Uncle Sam! I miss you!" Maggie comes running in at the sound of Sam's name.
"Magpie! Soon you're going to have to visit me!"
"Yes! Mommy and Bucky, too. Sam! Daddy is on the moon. He reads to me some nights."
"Wait what?"
"Maggie, we can't tell people that. Sorry, Sam. She's got an active imagination. I really should go."
"Sounds like it's a very active imagination. We can talk about that another time if you need too. But yes, go, get ready for the tinman. Bye Katniss."
Another person I'm keeping this from. I can't continue this. I need Steve to be honest with Sam and Bucky. It's not fair to them. And how do I possibly keep Maggie from talking about it?
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Bucky's POV:
I pull up to the cottage. Seeing the soft glow of the house makes me feel like I'm finally home. Therapy is bringing up a lot of things that I would rather leave in the past. And also, more confusion concerning my history with Charlie. But if she's willing to stay by my side. I'm more than happy to continue our relationship. Normalcy. Here with Charlie and Maggie. It's odd with Maggie at times, she looks so much like Steve, and even her expressions, are his. I can't escape him, but I don't know if I'm fully ready to close the book on Steve. There's so much unfinished business with him. Too many questions with my best friend, and now I live with his ex.
I walk up the steps, not particularly trying to be quiet, and I'm disappointed that the door is actually unlocked. I'm going to have to talk to Charlie about that, "I'm home, doll." I look into the kitchen to see a smiling Charlie walking towards me, but then the pitter patter of tiny feet.
"Bucky!" Maggie runs up to me, and I pick her up squeezing her tightly. "Mommy got you a prize."
"A prize? And why would she do that?" I look over to Charlie who's smiling but trying to look disappointed at the small girl.
"Cause, you're special." Still holding the girl, I lean over to kiss Charlie's lips. This seems so normal, and just right.
"So, what's my prize, doll?" Maggie wiggles in my arms and I set her down, and she runs back into her room. Wrapping my arms around Charlie. "Is it a prize we can talk about with a child in the room?" I lick my lips, pulling the bottom in and biting it.
"Stop that right now, James." I hear the change in Charlie's voice. "And no, it's not. And since she ruined the surprise..." She walks over to the mantle pulling off a small box, and hands it to me. "I hope you like it."
I open the box and see the gleaming silver. My fingers trace over the engraving. James B. Barnes 32557038 T42. A silence falls between us. I look up at Charlie and realize she's taking the silence as something bad, "How...where did you get these?"
"Uh...I know people, but you don't have to pretend to like it. I'm sorry, I just thought." I see her eyes go red trying to avoid tears.
"No, doll. It's perfect. Thank you." I put the dog tags over my head. They settle on my chest and Charlie's fingers trace along the metal. I pull her face to look at me, and crash my lips onto her. She's too thoughtful. "I don't deserve you."
"And I think that I don't deserve you. So, we're even James." I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me.
"When's dinner? We got time?" My mouth traces kisses all down her neck, and a giggle releases from her mouth.
"Maggie is awake, James. But I did get you another surprise for later." Her sinful mouth comes to my ear as she whispers, "And I picked it out, just for you."
I breathe in deeply. "You're trouble, with a doll face." I release my hold on her as her body slides down my body.
"Keep it in your pants, and we'll make it extra special." She winks walking into the kitchen.
I watch as she's walking into the kitchen. Her dress is a little bit fancier than she normally would wear. The black fabric was silky on my hands, her shoulders are bare and the skirt tiers down her body, stopping quite high above her knees. It's short enough that I can see the bottom of the garter belt holding up her black stockings. Her hair is soft and wavy. She is really trying to impress me. "You wearing stockings for a reason?" I follow her into the kitchen, inching my hands around her waist as I watch her prepare a salad.
She smiles, but doesn't say anything. "Do you have the surprise already on?" My hands follow further down her waist onto her thigh and then under her dress. I listen as her breathing gets shallower and speeds up. "You do. Can I get a little peak?"
"James..." Charlie whispers, unable to make a sentence. She's missed me and is hungry for me. "We have to wait." She doesn't use her hands to push me away.
"I just want a little taste of dessert before dinner." I whisper in her ear, and then my lips trace down her neck. I bring my fingers to the front of her, feeling the dainty lace laying against her soft, supple skin. I use my foot to push her legs further apart as my fingers finally slip under the barely there lace panties. I envision what they look like, as I trace along her wet folds. "You seeing me has already made you so wet." I whisper against her neck. I tease at her clit as her head falls back to my shoulder, already she feels drunk from my touch.
Quickly I pull my fingers out from her, bringing my fingers to my mouth as I suck on each finger, cleaning her off of me with my mouth. I look down at her, she's watching my face so intently. "Maggie, wash your hands and get ready for dinner." I call out to the small girl.
"You're a fucking tease you know that Bucky?" She tells me, annoyance clear in her voice.
"I'm not the only tease, brat." I tell her as I smack at her ass.
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Charlie's POV:
After dinner Bucky and I both put Maggie to sleep, reading a story to her. She's exhausted. No doubt the late nights that Steve visits her. She doesn't stay up too late talking with him, but it's still odd hours for a young girl.
I walk into the kitchen to clean everything up. Bucky follows suit, quickly putting everything away. I let out a giggle as he picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder, and basically sprints upstairs. He throws my body on the bed as he plants himself over me, "Do you realize how crazy you drive me, doll?" His tongue runs along the inside of his mouth before it comes out, slowly pulling his bottom lip in before he gives it a bite.
"Ah! You're doing that thing again Barnes." His dog tags dangle above my chest. I wrap my fingers around them and pull him down onto my lips.
"I still don't know what you're talking about." He smiles on my lips.
"You might not, but your tongue. You're fucking tongue, drives me insane on a regular basis." He chuckles on my neck, the vibrations causing a small whimper to exit my mouth.
His mouth inches along my skin. The high neckline of my dress keeps him from going too far, so my exposed shoulders get most of the attention. Metal fingers slowly drag along my skin, coming higher and under my dress. "Alright, get up. You've got too much clothes on." Bucky pulls me up of the bed and I stand in front of him, looking up at him with the best doe eyes I can give him.
I turn around, lifting my shoulders, "Can you help me." He sharply inhales as his fingers pull down the zipper, achingly slow down my back. He uses his right hand to spin me in front of him. Instead of me undressing myself he pulls down the sleeves of the dress to slowly cascade off my body. Landing on the floor, my high heeled foot kicks it to the side.
The ocean blue eyes glaze over my body as he takes in the lingerie; delicate black lace covers up my body. The garter belt is extra girlie, almost mimicking the look of a short skirt. His fingers trace along each piece before he kneels on the floor. He taps at my calf and I bring a foot into his hand as he slips one of the heels off me. His left hand holds onto my foot, I place a hand on his shoulder to keep my balance. I watch as his hand trails up my stockinged leg, sending chill bumps all over my body. He unhooks the stocking from the garter belt, gaze returning to mine, as he slowly slides it off my foot.
Once my leg is free, he ghosts his lips along my skin, "James, please." I whine down to him.
"I spent too much time away from you. I'm memorizing your body." He smiles up at me, using my own line against me. He moves his attention to my other leg. Again, after removing my heel, he inches his fingers up my leg, unhooking the stocking and rolls it down. This time he watches his hands and stockings run across my skin. His lips get to work peppering sweet kisses along my skin.
Bucky adjusts his position and wraps both arms around my legs, hoisting me up, tightly holding my lower stomach against his face, his lips kiss me and he loosens my grip, causing my body to slide down his, while his lips still kiss over my body. When my face finally meets his again, I wrap my own legs around his waist and fiercely kiss him.
He brings us over to the bed as he drops me down, my legs still dangle over the edge, I watch as he removes his shirt and pants, boxers still intact. He comes closer to the bed, His hands trace along my arms, and I lift my back up as he unhooks my bra, pulling it off and throwing it to the side. He bends over, running his hands up my legs. Once his fingers find the elastic of the panties and he slowly brings them down my body. He stands over me, staring down at my body and jerks my legs apart. Smirking down at the quick gasp I let out.
His knees hit the floor again as he kisses along my inner thighs, close, but not close enough to my aching pussy. I want him to fuck me. I writhe my body around trying to create any form of friction I can to his mouth. He refuses to fulfill my need for his touch just now. I can feel him smile on my thighs before he begins biting on me.
Finally, he breathes a cool breath against me, before placing his mouth on my clit. His tongue begins adding pressure and massaging me. Removing his mouth from my clit, his tongue traces along my whole entrance, lapping up my juices, and returns to my clit. Sucking on my nub, he doesn't let up, his hand traces shapes on my stomach as he watches my back arch up. I feel the heat rising low in my stomach, it enters through my whole body and I jerk around and then like a rubber band it snaps. I pull at his long hair urging him to slow down.
He backs up from me, tugging off his boxers before pulling himself on the bed, I pull my body back further so he can fully be on the bed. He uses his metal hand to jerk my arms above my head as his knees push my thighs further apart. "You ready for me, doll?" His voice is low and husky as he whispers down to me.
"More than you will ever know Sarge." I bite at my lip as he teases my clit with the tip of his cock. "Please James, I want to feel you inside of me. Just fuck me."
He gives me a wicked grin before hitching his hips forward, I feel my cunt stretch for him as he allows my body to adjust to his size, "Fucking hell you're so tight." His lips meet my neck as he pumps his cock into me. I feel every part of him, and I wrap my legs around his waist, wanting to bring him even closer to me.
"James, I want to cum again." I pant in his ear. He speeds up his thrusts. Slamming into me. He moves further away from me so he can watch as my face twists at the pure pleasure he's giving me. His lips meet mine as we kiss and pant on one another. "I love you so much." I call in his lips, between our kissing.
I'm close and my cunt squeezes him, his breathing changes as I feel the warmth from his cum fill me up. His head rests against my chest. I pet along his jawline. "I love you, Charlotte Allen." He whispers against me.
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Bucky's POV:
A few weeks pass, me traveling in between Brooklyn and upstate. Charlie is very patient with my constant nightmares. Digging into my past in therapy is bringing all the memories of nonstop killing, or nonstop torture. Mixed in with a bit of my time with a young Charlie.
I wake up one night, but the dream wasn't as paralyzing as some of the others, Charlie still comfortably sleeps beside me. I count my breaths. Trying to center myself. I look down at the floor, wanting to return myself there, knowing that Charlie will eventually join me. She's too good for me. I sit up in the bed, I look down at Charlie. She's snuggled under the covers, her naked body barely covered. I smile as I watch her.
I'm taken out of my thoughts as I hear a familiar voice, and a giggle. What the hell? I slowly walk out of our room. Stealthily walking to Maggie's room. Her door is open a crack and I see his figure, sitting in the chair beside her bed. I watch as he reads her a story, stopping to talk to her. Maggie doesn't have an active imagination. It's him, Steve is in there. He glances over to the door; his posture only slightly changes as he notices me.
Patiently he waits as Maggie falls asleep, and patiently I wait for some explanations. He turns off the light and walks to the door, coming into the hallway and meeting me. "Hey, Buck."
"What are you doing here?" My eyes are wide as I search him. "How are you here?"
"Let's move further away from the door." He leads me down the hallway. I forget this was once Charlie's and his home. He's too familiar.
"Bucky?" I hear panic in Charlie's voice. I watch as her body comes into the doorway of our bedroom, one of the blankets from the floor held over her body. She stops at the realization of Steve here, but no anger is in her eyes. She knows he does this.
"How long has Steve been coming and reading to Maggie? It was that night? It was him, wasn't it?" Her eyes flick between the two of us as she nods. "How long have you known?" I'm trying to hide my anger and disappointment. What other secrets concerning Steve has she kept from me?
"Charlie, go put some clothes on, let's come into the bedroom and talk Bucky." He puts his hand on me guiding me in our bedroom and I jerk away. Charlie walks into the closet, grabbing one of my shirts and closing it. "You redecorated." Steve's voice is flat as he looks around.
Charlie walks back out, "How long have you known about Steve coming into our home?"
"A few weeks." She whispers.
"When you stopped talking about the person you saw. You knew it was actually Steve?" She nods. I'm hurt, and angry. I can't escape him. "What other secrets do you have?"
"None. That's it. And the only reason I didn't say anything is because Steve didn't want me to."
"And you complied. So obedient you are." Sarcasm is dripping from my lips, but I'm pissed.
"Buck, it's not like that. I come here to visit my daughter. I miss her."
I turn back to face him. I love Steve, but he's caused so much unnecessary pain. "You left her. Do you know how many times she cried for you? And I was there. We were there. And now you've found a way to bounce back here in our lives, and want Charlie to keep secrets from me. This is so fucked up."
"It's complicated."
"Everything between you two has always been complicated, and I'm just the idiot who thought I could make this normal." My eyes fall to the floor.
"James, no. I love you, you're not an idiot. I want you here. I don't want him here."
"Wow, Charlie. She's, my daughter."
"Steve shut up." We both whisper yell at him. "You might biologically be her father, but you haven't stepped up the way you should. You got to have a redo, and here you are, back in my life, still trying to ruin things."
"That's not what I'm doing. I just want to see her."
"Has he ever been here when I was in Brooklyn?" I look only at Charlie. Her eyes brim with tears. "That answers that. Did anything happen?"
"No. No, James, I'm only yours. I only allowed him to continue this because Maggie is happy."
"Fuck. Fuck, he's everywhere. Every fucking where." Steve begins to interject, "No. You are. You had her first. Every day I walk around this house, and there's little things that remind me of you. Every day I look at Maggie and want her to be my daughter so much, and see your eyes staring right back at me. Reminding me that you had such a big part of the woman I love's life. You imprinted yourself in every part of her life. And now I find you sneaking in what I consider to be our home and read to our daughter."
"She's my daughter, Bucky." Anger prints on his face.
"Biologically." Charlie's hands try to wrap around my hand and I smack her hand away.
"Don't you dare touch her like that."
"Steve, he didn't hurt me. He's angry. You need to shut up when it's things that don't concern you. James, please, look at me."
"How could you keep this from me?"
"I thought it was for the best. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I should have never listened to him." She refuses to look at Steve.
"Like you've never kept anything from her."
"What did you just say?" I turn to look at him.
"Oh, you've told her then?" A smug smile comes across Steve's face.
"Tell me what?" Charlie asks. She's not angry, but I feel the fear in her voice.
"Nothing." Steve sucks in a breath and shakes his head. "It's memories that I haven't been able to work out yet. So, there's nothing to tell."
"Tell me what you do know."
"Bucky, she deserves that. Hell, I even deserve that."
I huff at him. "You don't deserve anything right now."
"Bucky, just fucking tell me." She called me Bucky, she's angry.
"I met you before Bucharest. I'm unsure about the memory. But I remember that all I've ever wanted to do was protect you."
Her eyes look over my face, trying to figure out our meeting. "I can't...I can't remember you. Just, the feeling I got when I saw your eyes...Sitwell."
"What?" Steve and both ask simultaneously.
"Sitwell, he recognized me in the elevator." Her eyes go wide. "Was I in Hydra? James?" She's no longer angry. She's scared. She worried.
"I don't know." Steve stands in the corner trying to decipher everything.
"You know something. It isn't just you wanted to protect me. What is it? Are you telling me the truth?"
"Yes."
"But if we met before Bucharest, and Sitwell recognized me...it had to have been in Hydra..." Her voice trails off. I've had the same thoughts. It would have had to be while in Hydra. "Steve, you should leave."
"Charlie, I need..."
"Shut up! Don't talk to her using that word. You should leave. She told you to leave, and now I'm telling you. Don't...just go."
"I'm sorry. I am. I don't want to come in between you two."
"You've got a really funny way of showing that. You shouldn't have asked her to keep things from me."
"Sorry." Steve turns to leave before he disappears.
Charlie walks over to the palette on the floor and lays down. I walk over to her. Wrapping my arms around her, pulling her close. I feel tears fall from her eyes onto my arm. "I'm sorry. I know I can trust you. I'm just angry at Steve."
"I know." She flatly answers.
My heart breaks. I hurt her. I basically accused her of possibly cheating on me with Steve. I kept something about her past from her. I know there's not much she remembers from before her parents died. Being in Hydra makes sense for memory loss. I shouldn't have entangled myself with her and Maggie. I'm not stable. I'm bringing her down with me.
"Maybe I should stay in Brooklyn for a while."
"What?" Her body faces me.
"We rushed into this."
"No. No...no...don't leave me."
"You should be allowed to be your own person without having a man in your life."
"You're not just a man James. I love you. I want you here in my life. All of my life. Maggie's life. I don't want to lose you."
"We both have so much we need to work through. We should do it apart."
"Why? We can do it together. Haven't things been working fine?"
"Charlie, you're making this harder than it needs to be. I just need space."
"Don't leave me..." I stand backing away from her. I should leave now. Why prolong the inevitable. "James. Please, don't. I can't lose you."
"You're not losing me. We just need time apart. You shouldn't have to deal with my issues and past. Along with everything in your life."
"I want to. I want to be there for you."
"Charlie. Stop. I don't want to be here anymore. I can't breathe here." I don't mean it. Bucky, stop, take it all back. Her body crumbles on the floor as I watch her body tremble from her uncontrollable crying. I want to scoop her up in my arms and tell her I'm lying. I am lying. But I'm hurting her more by staying here. "Bye Charlie. Tell Maggie bye for me." I walk out the door, waiting until I'm outside before the tears fall from my eyes.