Charlie's POV:
We changed our location once again. This time there only seems to be two rooms in our small apartment, but Sam and Nat uncharacteristically don't make a comment. We had been there for a few days going through a routine. Continuing to read around about possible missions, that won't cause attention to us.
I'm in mine and Steve's room folding our clothes, and putting them up, when I go to check my phone from T'Challa. I turn it on and nothing. I place it on the bed and busy myself with our clothes. Steve is out with Sam and Nat is in the living room browsing the internet. It's been over a year and I would think there would be some news from Bucky. And then it hits me, maybe Bucky doesn't want to see me.
I finish placing all our clothes up and collapse on the bed, and it's like I projected my thoughts to Wakanda, the phone lights up. He's asking to see you.
I forgot how to breath. I stare at the phone and think about how to respond. I just stare down at the tiny phone in my hand. How do I say something to Steve? Or do I lie? Is there any way you could be picked up in the next two days? I would be able to set it up.
Yes. I respond.
I walk into the living room with Nat and sit across from her. "I need your help."
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I was able to convince Steve to let me spend some time on the farm, due to a family emergency. I don't like lying to him, but I'm not ready to tell him exactly what's going on. T'Challa hasn't even called Steve, so I don't know how he'll feel. Steve also agreed I should spend some time with my family, the Bartons, alone. We assured each other that we would stay safe while apart.
Steve spent a day at the farm. It was a bit awkward having him sleep in my room with me. I felt like Clint and Laura were constantly keeping an eye on us. We kept things PG while on the farm, to not further the awkwardness. I told him I would call when I was ready to leave, but of course we would stay in touch daily throughout our absence of one another. I watch him load up on the jet, and a pit forms in my stomach. Am I doing the right thing? Should I not have told him? I push those questions aside.
I walk downstairs and Clint stops me. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Why would it not be?"
"Well, there's not a family emergency. And Steve is leaving your side. That hasn't really happened, well, since you've been at the compound. Has it?"
The phone that is only my link to Wakanda goes off. Clint looks to my pocket. I try not to grab at it too fast. "He's awake and wants to see me."
Clint nods his head. "Why don't you want Steve to know?"
"Because T'Challa hasn't told him that Bucky is awake."
"How do you know?"
"Bucky asked T'Challa to give me a direct line when he was ready to see me."
"So, everything is okay between you and Steve?"
"Yes, Bucky is just a delicate subject."
"When are you leaving?"
I pause and open the phone, "Tomorrow morning."
Clint wraps his arms around me, "As long as your happy."
"Other than moving from place to place, I am."
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I don't know what took longer waiting for the jet or the flight to Wakanda. I was surprised that it was T'Challa himself that was the one to pick me up. "He will be pleased to see you. According to Shuri he constantly brings you up. A few days left quite the impression."
"He left the impression on me as well."
"When we arrive, you will need to see Shuri. She's been wanting to see you." I nod my head, a bit of sadness crosses my face, realizing I can't go straight to Bucky.
"He's not the person he was when you left him."
Upon arrival to Wakanda T'Challa leads me to a lab where Shuri is. "So, the broken Caucasian is yours?"
I smile at her, "I suppose so."
"The famous Charlie is finally back in Wakanda. You should probably change before I walk you to the village."
"What's wrong with my clothes?" I'm wearing jeans and shirt.
"You don't look very relaxed." She leads me over to where a beautiful red maxi dress with gold piping on the hems is hanging. "The faster you change, the faster you get to see him you know." I smile and head behind a partition to change. Upon coming from around it Shuri smiles, "I'm beginning to understand now... Come on, we have a long walk ahead."
Shuri leads me throughout the countryside. It's breathtaking here. So warm, the smell is fresh and not like an old apartment. I slowly take deep breaths as she continues leading me through the village, talking a bit as we're walking but I can't focus on anything. Just relishing in the beauty and peacefulness here. Shuri stops. She points over to a hut, "He'll be in there, if he's not, he'll be back shortly. He does have chores he has to do."
Shuri pats my back and gives me a smile. I'm frozen in place. So close, and yet, still so far away from Bucky. "It helps if you move your feet. Go on, he's been waiting." I slowly make my way over there. I don't know what I would want more Bucky to already be there, or him gone and I wait around for him.
I pause at the door, and count my breaths. I move aside the door, looking in. He's not here. I look around at his humble home. It oddly reflects Bucky. I smile looking around, things are clean. There's not any clutter, almost reflecting how his brain is no longer a clutter of memories. I sit in a chair at the table. He had cleaned up his mess from breakfast. He's creating a routine for himself. I pop my neck, rubbing my hands on my knees. There's a lot of anxious energy building up. I just want to see him. I stand and begin my pacing and counting my breaths.
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Bucky's POV:
I'm making my hike back home. There's a rumbling of chatter coming from the locals. I don't focus on their voices; I just know that soon Charlie will be here. I don't know what I'm going to say to her. I don't know if she will choose to bring Steve here. What I do know is she will be here soon. I get closer and hear something about a Caucasian. The locals have branded me that, but then I see a shadow pass behind the door of my home and stop. The shadow is pacing...she's here.
I drop the feed bag that was in my hand, and look down. I'm sweaty and dirty from working. But that's never stopped Charlie from smiling at me. I slowly make my way closer and move aside the door. Her pacing stops as she turns to look at me. Her skin is paler than the last time I seen her, there's dark bags under eyes, and her hair isn't as shiny. Living on the run has darkened her features, but then she gives me her sweet smile, it lights up her eyes, "James." One word. One name, and it's my name.
She rushes over to me, wrapping her arms around me, engulfing myself in her embrace. Not caring that I'm hot and sweaty. My arm wraps around her rubbing circles on her back. She's here, in Wakanda. She leans back only to look at me I smile down at her, lifting her chin with my index finger before caressing her cheek. "Doll. I've missed you."
She backs away from me, looking me up and down, smiling. "You look good. Wakanda is treating you well." She brings her hand up to my face tracing around my cheekbones, jawline, and around my hairline.
"What are you doing?" I laugh at her.
"Memorizing your face." I grab at her hand, taking it in mine. I walk over and grab a towel and rucksack and head out the door. "Where are we going?"
"You caught me not in the most desirable state. So, we're going swimming." Her feet stop moving. "What is it?"
"I didn't bring a bathing suit."
"You don't need one." She looks up at me, still looking confused. "Or you can just sit and keep me company." She continues the shuffling of her feet, and I guide her to our destination. Making sure to point out different people and things around the village.
When we reach the waterfall, I see her face light up. "It's beautiful here." She whispers. I look towards her, she's the beautiful one. I take the wrap off of me, and then my shirt. She doesn't turn away, just comes closer and runs her fingers around the scarring around my shoulder and where my arm once was, looking up and smiling. "You're beautiful here," she whispers up to me.
I take off my pants leaving my boxers and jump in. When I come to the surface, she's pulling up her dress and making her way to the edge, placing her feet in the water. I wade in the water watching her. She looks as if all the stress she's been under while I was asleep is rising off her body. She's leaning back on her arms, head facing the sky. She could use some sun. I swim over and splash her.
Charlie lets out a hum, and I splash her again. "What's the deal James? You just going to splash me?"
"I wouldn't have to if you just jumped in." She attempts to fake anger towards me, but she's too happy for it to work. She looks down at me before standing and starts removing her dress. I spin around, even though I've seen her fully naked, I'm going to allow her some privacy. I hear a splash beside me. Charlie's face comes up to the surface beaming at me and she spits a fountain of water towards me, and I splash her back.
Her little body wades closer to mine. My eyes drift just a second to realize she only has on panties. She smiles and goes under water swimming towards the waterfall. I turn to watch her. She hoists herself up a rock keeping her back to me. I roll my eyes and wade over to her. "What're you doing up there doll?"
"Taking it all in." She's quiet and I feel she wants to talk more.
"What's on our mind? I feel like there's a lot going on."
"It just seems weird being here with you, but it's also, comforting."
"Is this a Steve thing?" She places her long hair in front of her, trying to cover herself. It's adorable but I keep my eyes on hers.
"Kind of. It's just weird that T'Challa called me before Steve."
I give her a confused look, "He did call Steve."
Her eyes squint and look in the distance. "Hmm, I guess we both lied."
"What did you lie about?"
"I asked him if he had heard about what was going on with you, and he told me no. He thinks I'm with Clint and Laura for a family emergency. Since we left you, I've seen him every day. And we still feel the need to lie."
"You can tell him you're here. I just wasn't ready to see him. It's a lot of pressure."
"No, you're fine." We sit in silence for a minute.
"Things still complicated?" I ask her, not daring to look at her face, I brace myself for her answer.
"Yeah, I think it will forever be complicated with me and Steve. He's searching for a ghost. And I'm not Peggy." Her head tilts towards me and she slides in the water and comes and sits beside me.
"Why do you think he's searching for Peggy?" Her eyelids are heavy as she looks at me.
"We're both content with no commitment. He wanted that with her. I want it with..." she pauses and brings her eyes to meet mine. I feel her hand move to my cheek, cupping it in her small hand. "...someone. But I can't lose him." Her last words drift off in a whisper, I wrap my right arm around her and bring her closer, kissing the top of her head. I will not take advantage of her vulnerability in this moment. For a year she's been with Steve night and day, and now he's away. She feels that she will never have a commitment with him, but also desperately craves him.
"Come on, let's go back. I'll cook for you."
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Charlie's POV:
Bucky leads us back to his hut. Our hands constantly brushing against each other, but neither one of us grabbing a hold of the other. There's a calm quietness that surrounds us. "Sit down." He tells me, I comply. Sitting in a chair at the table, and watch him move around as he prepares dinner. Looking outside the sun is already beginning to set. I could get use to this place. There is an air of peace here. Simple.
"How was the flight here?"
"Are we really going to do small talk Bucky?" I smirk over to him, I feel we're far from doing the random small talk.
"Okay...well how has life been since you last saw me." He glances back for a moment before returning to cook.
"Weird." I laugh "It's an odd feeling living with three other people. Constantly on the run. We don't stay in one place too long. Sam, he's a bit of a drama queen. He's usually complaining about...um, about something." I don't want to bring up mine and Steve's sex life.
"I'm sorry about how things went with all that. I hate that you guys are on the run."
"It wasn't your fault." I stand and walk closer to Bucky.
"It kind of was though."
"No, the Accords were to blame. We never would have agreed to them." I peak over to look at what he's cooking, it smells amazing. He glances over to me and I smile up at him. I reach out my hand to him. "Can I feel exactly what you're feeling? I don't want you thinking that any of this is your fault."
"Not yet, doll." I nod and still smile at him. I respect Bucky's decision. He's spent over seventy years of people messing with his brain.
He pulls out plates and adds food to one handing it to me, I go and sit down at the table waiting for Bucky. He looks at me, raising his brows urging me to take a bite. I do. The meat is perfectly tender, even the food tastes better here. Just fresh. I smile at him, "It's delicious." I tell him. He smiles and has a bite himself.
"So how has life been for you here?"
"Peaceful. Mundane. There's no fight." I know a sadness crosses my face. I thought I wanted this life, but what I got wasn't exactly what I expected, but when is it ever? But I can't complain, I haven't had to endure what Bucky has.
"You deserve that. Do you think you'll ever want to join the fight again?"
"If the right people asked, or the right people wanted me." He smirks over at me.
I start to respond, when my phone starts to ring. I know the only person who would call me would be Steve, and I do miss him. "I'm sorry, I need to get this." Bucky nods and I grab my phone and walk outside.
"Hey, princess. How is everything?"
"It's good, nothing too exciting. You're still being careful right?"
"Yes. Just missing you. I wanted to hear your voice. Even Sam is missing you. Says he misses your annoying voice scream out Captain." Steve's voice is low and husky.
"I'll have to make sure I tease him the next time I see him then."
"I'm sure you're busy princess, so I'll let you go. I love you."
"Love you too."
"I don't get a Captain?"
I giggle, "Love you too Captain." He clicks off the phone and I walk back inside. Bucky has cleaned up our dinner dishes.
"You can take the bed." He answers shortly. "It's been a long day. I'm tired."
"Where will you sleep?" I look over to him, I can tell he is upset about the call to Steve.
"I can make a palette. It's not a big deal." He keeps his back towards me.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"What exactly is there to talk about?" He huffs, still choosing to keep his back to me.
"Okay, if that's how you want this to go."
"Charlie, what exactly do you want me to say? Do you want me to pretend that Steve didn't just call you? You failed to mention where you were." I'm speechless. I want him to talk to me, but I wasn't expecting the animosity coming out of his voice.
He finally turns to look at me, "Don't stand there with your sad eyes. While I've been frozen, you've been with him. And still you chose to lie to come here to be with me."
"Bucky, you knew about mine and Steve's relationship. You of all people know how it's not a traditional one, but it is what it is."
"You're choosing to be with a man you say doesn't want a life with you because he wanted it with Peggy, but yet you want a normal life. Why are you doing that to yourself?"
"I love him." Bucky scoffs at me. "I do, and he loves me. No, it's not the norm, but it works. For now."
"For now? For now, you're satisfied?" Bucky stares at me with his steel blue eyes, tears begin brimming at his lash line.
"What do you want from me Bucky? Why did you ask me here?" I start to go to him. He's hurting, and trying to hurt me in return. I'm not easily broken.
"It's always going to be him, isn't it?"
I make a point to be right in front of him. "I'm here with you right now. Do you think that was a mistake? I'm here in Wakanda, and Steve isn't."
"And you still miss him." He takes one step back.
"I missed you when I wasn't here."
"You can't lose him, though." I step forward towards him.
"I can't lose you either. I feel a duty...no, a desire to be near and protect you."
"Charlie, it just doesn't make sense. I'm not good, and this..." he points between us. "...it's not good."
"You asked me to come here. You wanted to see me. What did you think was going to happen? Did you think Steve and I just parted ways when we left you?"
"What do you think he would say if he knew you were here?" He looks down at the floor.
"Do you want me to tell him and see how he feels?" I put my hand on his cheek. He shakes his head no. "So, what exactly do you want me to do?"
"Kiss me." I pause. He looks down at me. "That's what I thou...." I pull myself closer to him, planting my lips on his. He pulls both hands to my neck pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. He starts pushing me to the bed before stopping and pulling away. "Doll, I want to do things different. I want...to take things slow." I stare up at him and pet his cheek, "I want desperately to make love with you, but I want it to be more than just sex. Can we, just not tonight."
I smile up at him, "Of course Bucky. Will you at least share the bed with me?" He nods his head guiding us to the bed. I lay down and he lays beside me, resting his head on my chest. I wrap my arms around him, using my fingers to brush at his long hair. Inhaling his Wakandan smell. We don't say another word, just drift off into nightmare less sleep.
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Bucky's POV:
Charlie has happily been in Wakanda with me for almost two weeks. We still haven't had sex, but I've enjoyed our company together. Each day Steve calls her, she still excuses herself to talk to him, he's growing anxious with her not being by his side, and I shudder to think of how he might ruin her body the next time he sees her. He has a need to have her. It's odd how he was so quick to allow me to share her, considering I see the hold she has on him. More importantly, the hold he has on her. We try to keep our conversations Steve-free. They're awkward conversations, and they usually put me in a bad mood. Knowing that she will leave here, leave me, to go and be with him. She has an allegiance to him.
Both of us make up constant excuses of her staying longer. I don't want this to end. I don't think she does either. Both of us have had our share of nightmares, and mine don't scare her. She just grounds me, bringing me back to reality that I am not the Winter Soldier. She's picked up on the children calling me the White Wolf and will refer to me as that with a smile.
She even helps me with my chores. She enjoys the animals. Always she makes a point to sit and talk to each one of them, it's adorable. It's been a blissful two weeks. She walks me to my sessions with Shuri to try and take the things Hydra put in my brain. Her and Shuri have become fast friends.
We're walking to the waterfall and Charlie's hand actually slips in my hand. We always walk close enough together, our hands constantly brushing against one another, but today her little hand grabs ahold of mine, and doesn't let go until we reach the waterfall. Today she didn't linger, she took off her dress and panties and jumped right in. I smirk over to where she jumped and decide to go completely nude myself before jumping in.
When I first jumped in, I can't find her, and quickly panic. Steve would never forgive me if something happened to her. She surfaces and I can't help but splash at her for scaring me. She giggles her sweet laugh and swims closer; I push myself further away realizing our nudity.
"What are you afraid of Barnes?" She sweetly smiles over to me.
"Just you." I'm trying to play it cool, but after two weeks I want her.
Again, she swims closer to me, I'm quicker since I can touch the bottom and move further back. She rolls her eyes and changes her direction to the waterfall. Swimming over and pulling herself up on a rock, lying flat on her back in the sun. My breathing hitches. She's wanting me to come to her. "You can always get some sun over here James."
There she goes with my real name. Usually she calls me Bucky, but in more intimate moments James is the name that falls from her lips. I take her bait and swim over to where she's sun bathing. I look up at her. She's perfect. Her skin now sun kissed and tan, her hair has become shiny again, and even the dark under her eyes is barely there.
I hoist myself up there leaning over her body and letting my hair drip on her skin. I glance down at her chest and then back to her face, she noticed the shift of my eyes and smiles up at me. "You're doing this on purpose aren't you?" She continues smiling at me.
"Kiss me." Her pouty lips say up to me.
"Doll, if I kiss you, I may not be able to stop."
"I really don't care, James."
I crash my lips onto hers. The kisses from the past two weeks were fleeting and sweet, this kiss is full of passion and want. She notices my awkwardness hovering over her with one arm, and she pushes me over and straddles me. I gasp at the feeling of her wetness on my stomach. She lets out a giggle, and bites my lips.
"Are you sure you want to do this doll?" I ask in between kisses. I don't want her to make a mistake. While Steve was okay with sharing, that was also when he was present. He doesn't even know she's here.
"Shh..." she whispers in my ear. "If I didn't want to do this, I wouldn't have initiated it."
Charlie sits up and hovers herself over me, I reach down and help her put my cock inside of her. She sucks in her breath looking down at me. I see her shudder before she begins grinding on me. Her eyes never leave mine. "I forgot how you felt James." She whispers, her voice deeper and throatier than it was moments ago. She leans forward peppering kisses along my jawline and neck before leaning back up. She continues rocking on top of me and I can't help but to place my hand on her face. Memorizing her, as she calls it.
Her hands move to my chest and add pressure to give her leverage to grind faster. I grab at her hips trying to slow her down, I want to enjoy this. I sit myself up and wrap my arm around her back. She smiles enjoying the closeness. I bring my lips to hers, lingering there for a moment before moving to her jawline and finding her neck. I don't know what I did but her chest stops heaving.
I look back at her, "You're going to have to breathe doll." She smiles and remembers to breathe. "Fuck, you feel so amazing."
"You're perfect James."
"What the hell was that! Your mouth wasn't even moving."
Without changing her pace, "It's a new thing I learned." She smiles. That could be an interesting feature to her powers. She doesn't cease to amaze me.
"God, you're so amazing." Her smile is even wider. She heard me.
Our lips crash together one more time before I feel the tightness in her, she's close. Her arms wrap tighter around my neck before we both simultaneously release. She pulls back, her hazel eyes search mine. She's absolutely stunning. And it saddens me that soon this will end...she belongs to Steve; I would say she's yours too. Steve's words echo in my mind.
Her hands begin tracing around my face. "Memorizing my face?" She smiles and nods. "We should get back, it's probably close to time for your phone call." I heard the bitterness in my voice, but I try not to think about it too much. My time with Charlie is limited and I don't want a fight.
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Charlie's POV:
Another week goes by, and each night I hear the anxiety growing in Steve's voice. I'm selfish. I don't want to leave Wakanda, and definitely don't want to leave Bucky, but I know I can't stay here forever. I wake up this morning, Bucky with his arm wrapped around me, snuggled up against my chest. I play with his curls, petting around his hairline. He's so peaceful. There's a calm serenity that envelopes me the longer I'm here. I wish I could bottle it up and take it with me. Take it to Steve.
Bucky's eyes flitter and I know he's about to wake up. Slowly his perfect steel blue eyes open and look up at me. "Morning, doll."
"Can we just stay in bed all day?" He nuzzles his head along my chest, finding my nipple and begins caressing it with his tongue. He slowly breathes cold air on it, causing a quick inhale. He smiles before wrapping his mouth around my nipple and sucks on it. My fingers wrap through his hair closing my eyes and just taking in the moment and how perfect it is.
His mouth pulls back, "We should probably get the day started." He looks up to me with an evil smile and acts like he's going to stand up.
"Oh no you don't." I pull at his hand, pushing it in between my legs, and he sucks a breath in between his teeth.
His eyes roll to the back of his head, "You're so wet, doll."
"It's because I want you," I coo at him. His tongue pokes at the side of his lip, smiling before licking his lips. He uses his hand to massage my clit, and I pull his face to mine to kiss him. I hear my phone ring, but both of us choose to ignore it. Steve can wait.
Bucky shits his weight to hover over me, he's gotten better with using his one arm. He pumps his dick a few times before placing it at my entrance, teasing me by rubbing it on my clit. I smile up at him, enjoying the anticipation building up. He finally places himself in me, waiting a moment, allowing me to feel his size before aggressively thrusting into me. A deep chuckle vibrates through his chest.
"You feel amazing, doll." He loves our silent conversations we're able to have. They do work out best while we're having sex.
"You're amazing, James."
"Play with yourself." I wiggle my hand down and begin massaging my clit. Every thrust in me I feel Bucky from the inside and outside with my hand. He smiles at the sensation. I turn my hand upwards and tickle at his abs. My phone begins vibrating again, and his thrusts become more rapid.
"Kiss me." He demands, I lean up, placing my hands on either side of his face, we sloppily kiss one another, he pumps into me vigorously. I feel the heat rising in my stomach, and hear the breathing become erratic on Bucky's breath, I tighten around him before screaming out, "James." I feel the warmth coming from his cum fill me up. His thrusts slow down, allowing my body to milk every bit of him, before he falls on my chest.
My hands brush at the soft waves of his hair. "I love you." I whisper to him.
"I love you, too."
We lay like this for a moment, soaking up every bit of one another we can. My phone begins to vibrate again. "You should get that." He rolls off of me, allowing me space to get up. He hands me the blanket and I wrap it around my body. I give Bucky a longing look, Steve never calls in the morning. I walk to my phone, and the call is missed. Bucky is looking anywhere but me.
I call Steve back. He answers on the first ring, "Is everything okay? You never ignore my calls."
"I was busy."
"I wanted to give you some time with the family, but I miss you.... I need you princess."
"I'll see you soon. I love you."
"I love you too."
Bucky lets out an angry growl and stands up, getting himself dressed. "I have...I've got to go." I know this isn't what Bucky wanted to hear.
"I heard; he needs you." He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, "I don't want you to leave." His eyes finally meet mine. The lines on his forehead seem extra deep and his brows are furrowed.
"I don't want to leave either, but I have to."
"No, you don't. You don't...Just tell him the truth...stay here. Fuck Charlie, everyone can come here. Don't leave me." His voice cracks on his last words. This is painful.
"Bucky, I'm sorry. We can't."
"Why?" He shouts.
"We just can't." My voice is cracking, I'm refusing to cry. I don't want to leave him like this.
"That's a shitty answer and you know it." He begins pacing around the room.
"You can't just invite four fugitives of the world to stay in a country that you're not a citizen in Bucky. It's not that simple."
"Nothing is ever simple with you, is it?" He turns to look at me, and quickly turning away. I know he sees the pain painted across my face.
"That's not fair. You chose to become involved with me knowing about Steve! So don't stand there blaming me. I understand that everyone around me thinks me and Steve are fucked up, I get it. If I wasn't involved, I would think the same thing."
"Do you even understand the hold he has over you? All he has to say is 'I need you' and you're so quick to run to him. You're so obedient, you comply to whatever he tells you to do."
"I need him too! And I know you think it's just sex with him, it's not. You don't live with someone for a year and it's just sex. I don't expect you to understand. I don't want to leave...but I really don't want to leave with you angry. These past three weeks were perfect, don't ruin them."
"They were so perfect that you're willing to run away." I shake my head, that's not what I'm doing. "Don't..."
The tears completely break through, "Bucky, please stop. I already feel like a part of me is dying thinking of leaving you, I don't need you to make me feel more guilty. I don't want to leave you. You knew this couldn't last forever. I told you, I can't lose him either. Please, don't."
Bucky rushes over to me wrapping his arm around my waist and I wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face in his neck, "I love you."
"I love you too." He answers.
"Don't be angry with me."
"I'm sorry. I don't want you to leave like this." We stand like this for what feels like an hour. When our tears finally calm, he pulls back looking at me. "I'll miss you. Maybe, if life isn't too busy, you can visit again. Bring Steve." I smile up at him, and he kisses my forehead.