For a while, Airi had nothing to say in her defense. Everything Dew said was true. Although right now she doesn't remember any of the things she did, whatever her deed was, it hurt more people than she hoped. And maybe she never hurt these three people directly, but they were hurt a lot. And for the reason why, she could understand now clearly.
"Dew, Hazel. I know the way I turned into, made you guys lose all kinda trust in me. I swear, I myself know how much of a crooked person I had become. But yet, I would like to be shameless one more time, and ask you to listen to me once."
"And what if we don't?" Dew asked her back, not removing his eyes off her.
"Then I'm gonna try more. Until you agree to listen to me. But I ain't gonna give up no matter what." Airi replied back with a strong resolution, and it was clear in her eyes that she was determined.
Just then, Hazel fished out her phone and dialed a number. After a few rings, the person from the other end picked it up. As soon as the person did, Hazel started talking, "Emma, could you come out for a second?... yeah it's urgent… yes… yes… near the Mass Library… in the cafe?... great, see you then."
Dew snapped out at her as soon as she cut the call. "Why did you call her here?"
"Because Airi said she wants to talk, we can't brush off someone coldly just because we had something like a clash with them. We could at least let her say what she wants to." Hazel turned her eyes towards Airi, "Airi, let's head to the cafe there, okay?"
Airi nodded meekly, got up, and followed them towards the cafe.
"Do you need me to go away?" Airi looked at Ryo when he asked her. "Nah, don't needta' do that. I'd feel better if I know that someone's beside me who's gonna support me. So just stay there."
Ryo nodded, following her silently.
------
They all waited for Emma to come, with a coffee in their hands, though Airi didn't take any. They didn't have to wait for long, because soon enough, Emma arrived at the coffee shop. Airi had heard from Maria that she lived near the library, but she felt a bit surprised that it was this close.
Emma noticed Hazel waving to her, and she came towards their table, but she got halted a bit on her pace seeing Airi with them.
"Sit down, Emma. I have ordered your coffee already. It will come in a minute." Hazel dragged out a chair for her to sit down. Emma took that seat and looked at everyone, confused.
"So now, talk whatever you want to say," Dew coldly said to Airi, and hearing that, she adjusted her posture a bit.
"So… hi Emma. I know you must feel puzzled seeing me here all of a sudden. It's just, it's been so long…" Airi couldn't figure out how to get to the point, then suddenly she felt a soft hand on hers. "Relax, and talk slowly," it was Hazel, and with that reassurance, Airi felt a bit more courage.
"So, you guys have known about the suicide attempt of mine. And you also know what led to that. I won't beat around the bush anymore now. It's just, during these five months of recuperating, I thought about things a lot. And I… realized one thing. No matter whatever I did, it hurt you guys a lot. Because I constantly disregarded your care for me, your love for me. You guys were worried for me, yet I never understood your point of view, thanks to my idiocy and weird obsession."
"So now, you want to talk to us because you feel guilty about what you did? Is that it?" Hazel asked her back.
"No. What good would that do if I put a guilty confession to you for something I did to others?" Airi's words startled three of them. But soon Airi continued to talk, "I just want to say that I regret not understanding your concerns, and hurt you badly. You three were there for me always, even though we had a short time together, you all cared for me, worried about me. And to be honest, it was such a fine time with you. I missed hanging out with all of you more than anything else. But I let my ego take the reins of my mind, and never came forward to you guys. And that's what I wanna apologize for." Airi bowed her head down in an apologetic manner. "I am sorry that I never treated you well enough. And hurt you in more ways than possible. I would hope that you would think of it as some kind of foolish person you met, and forget all about me."
After Airi was done with her talk, there was an awkward silence at their table. No one talked, and Airi kept her head lower, not daring to pick it up, in fear that she would get to see disgust or anger in their eyes.
Then suddenly, the silence broke apart as Hazel started talking. "Well, this is surprising. I thought you were going to testify for your deeds, or apologize to us that you were wrong, and all. But to think you said sorry to us just because you couldn't realize that we were hoping for your best," Hazel held Airi's hands, in hope that she would look up to her, and when she did, she completed her words. "It makes me happy. Thanks for apologizing, Airi."
Airi raised up her head, and looked straight into her friend's eyes. She didn't see any disgust or anger in it. Only softness was there. And seeing that, her eyes also welled up in tears.
Was it that easy? Was it okay to be forgiven that easily?
Airi kept thinking in her mind, but no matter what, she couldn't see any single shred of grudge in her eyes. And that made her happy so much she felt like she could cry her eyes out right now.
"But I am not going to forgive you that easily. I have a condition," Hazel looked in another direction, and her words made Airi feel confused. Hazel looked at Dew and asked him, "Dew, Emma, are you forgiving her?"
"Only if she treats us to a sweet buffet," Dew replied, with a little pout on his face.
"Only if she starts sitting with us in school," Emma continued to sip in her coffee, without meeting anyone's eyes.
"As for me," Hazel finally looked at her, "Only if you come and extend a hand of friendship to us, just the way you always did."
And this was enough to break all the control Airi had on herself to prevent her tears. She felt so happy and grateful that her emotions started rolling out without any break. "Kay, deal it is then. I'll do that. But I gotta hold onto that treat, cuz I ain't got money, so next month, 'kay?"
At that, all four of them laughed out loud. "What! You had all the money for your underlings huh? None for us? That's mean now, Airi," Dew snorted at her.
"I can't treat you like that. Rather, I would treat you to all the good foods you want when I get paid from my part-time, so wait until then."
"You do part-time? Since when?" All three shouted out.
"Chill out, omg. I am gonna start from tomorrow," Airi pressed her finger against her lips, signaling them to tone down their voice.
"Say about it, now," Emma moved forward, with her usual excited tone, and then Airi started to tell the stories from yesterday.
"I'm going to go now, you keep talking, okay?" Ryo lightly whispered into Airi's ear, and Airi signaled him with a thumbs up. Getting the signal, he went out, leaving Airi with her friends, happily talking.
"Finally you are smiling, Airi. and trust me, no matter what, I won't let him ruin your smile ever again, that's a promise I intend to keep no matter what it takes," Ryo muttered to himself, with a strong resolve in his mind.
------
After a long talk, the group of four friends walked out of the cafe. Those three talked about what they did these two years where Airi wasn't with them, and Airi shared her part of life when she gained consciousness after her suicide attempt. After talking for a long time, she realized that she didn't feel out of place or awkward at all, despite her not having any friends ever. At least as long as she recalled. Once again, she realized that she loved to be around people, talk to them happily, to be loved, and love them back. Now that she rekindled with her friends, it was time to fill in the missing parts she couldn't get a glimpse of, neither in her subconscious state, nor in her diary.
"Guys, I wanna ask somethin'," Airi carefully voiced out, still thinking how she would word out her question.
"Yes, what is it?" Dew asked her back, slowing his pace.
"Thing is, I kinda lost some parts of my memories. I mean, I do have tidbits here and there, and I remember making friends with y'all, and the problems we had. But after that, things are kinda blurry. So I want ya guys to help me out."