Airi was standing by the stairs, looking at the lady who was making lunch in the kitchen, and the man flipping through a newspaper. Those two were engrossed in their own tasks, and Airi was just standing there, silently looking at them.
"So, are we waiting for an auspicious moment here?" Airi snapped back from her daze by the voice near her. "Ryo! Ya' friggin' scared me!"
"Well, you are making me bored right now. Where is the spirit of yours who told me not too long ago that she is going to give my suggestion a try?" Ryo crossed his arms over his chest, while tapping lightly on the floor with his shoes.
"Dude, as if this gettin' any easy. They ain't some people I just stumbled o'er. they're… my own… parents. I might've got nothin' specific memory about them right now, but there's a faint pang in my heart, somehow that's squeezing it too much. And also, to them, I'm just someone who had been bad to them," Airi turned her gaze towards her parents, who were oblivious of the fact that right now, she was looking at them lovingly. "There is this fact too…"
"About your curse? Are you scared of it till now?"
"There's no way that's gonna get sorted out that easily. But as I told ya', I'm gonna give it my best try. I oughta' be strong, not for my rescue, but for these people who suffered lotsa thanks to me."
"Then get going already," Ryo gave her a light push towards the middle-aged couple. "Go, and start your journey." Airi nodded vigorously in response to him, and went to them.
And Ryo also vanished from there, returning to his own place.
It has finally started.
Airi Arne might have been some weird girl who had caused a lot of trouble for her stubborn ideology, but right now, she is someone who is able to distinguish from right to wrong.
Airi Shin might have been someone who was cowardly enough to confront anything. Despite how much she craved for affection, love, friendship, she was scared to be selfish, to be happy. But right now, she is strong enough to start her journey towards her happiness.
There surely is a curse looming over her, threatening her to back off, to tug herself inside the blanket of despair and darkness. The fear of that curse, the fear of losing people again would take its time to leave. Maybe that wouldn't leave too easily, or at all. But the Airi she is right now, she is going to face the fear, and fight for protecting the people she would care for, she would love.
She might have preferred to stay holed up in a dark room because that's what she thought to be right, that's what she thought to be the only way she could save people, she wouldn't cause them any heavy losses, or death. But now, that very sense of her doing things right, would pull herself out of the darkroom, searching for a shred of light. And that light would guide her towards the new day, where she will be able to love herself and her surroundings, being free from all the shackles.
And until that happens, Ryo swore to help her, as he always should.
Ryo swore to be by her side, as he always would.
He would be the one Airi wants him to be. He would be someone Airi could solely depend on.
------
Honestly, Airi did get a bit of courage by the light push of Ryo. She once again looked back towards the dark stairs, but to her surprise, he was already gone. "Can't even wait for a moment, what are you, patient of diarrhea?" she sighed inwardly.
'But guess I shouldn't waste time anymore.'
"Uhmm… I…" Airi felt her words lost somewhere, but that sure grabbed the attention of her parents. Both of them looked back, being quite surprised to see her.
"Do you… need something?" Max asked her, folding the paper to another page.
"I… I was… I'm hungry… so is there somethin' I could munch on?"
'Fu*k yourself somewhere, Airi.
What are you, food-deprived for years? Is that what you are here to talk about?
Ryo would've killed you if he were here.'
"Yeah, sure. There are some cookies I baked yesterday, want those?" Sara hurriedly asked her, seeing her willingly asking for something after not talking to them at all for a week. After a while, she came back with the cookies in a bowl and handed them to her.
"Tha… thanks," Airi took a bite of her cookies, and after tasting them, she felt like she could die happily. It was so tasty and melted so well in her mouth, despite it being a hard snack.
"Gosh, I am gettin' distracted again!" Airi slapped her both cheeks, and seeing that, Max and Sara got astounded. "I gotta somethin' to tell you. First, let's keep this distracting yet tasty thing away," she kept the bowl of cookies aside and looked at both of her parents. "Would it be okay if you… spare some time to listen to me, like right now?"
"Sure, tell us what's wrong." Max kept the newspaper he was reading aside, sitting up straight on his seat.
"You too, please sit down," Airi pointed to the seat beside Max, looking at Sara. And ara nervously took that seat in response to her.
"So, the thing is. I know you must be wonderin' why the… I mean why I didn't talk to you all of a sudden this past week. I… actually, after the thing I did, which caused my state of bein' comatose, and when I woke up from all of this, I just messed up my memories. I just… behaved weirdly after that. No! Not weird, I don't mean that the way I behaved or talked to you guys normally or such was weird or anything, it wasn't! It totally wasn't! It's just… Omg, what the fu*k I'm sayin'," Airi let her head down, hiding her face with her palm. "I didn't even sort out what I am gonna say, damn it!"
"Um… Airi, it's okay. Take your time. We are all ears…"
"No!" Airi shouted out loud, making Sara flinch as she got interrupted in her words by the sudden outburst of her daughter. "There ain't any time for that! I need to say it right now, or else… or else… it would…"
Tears suddenly started rolling down her eyes without even her realizing. Sara got scared seeing her suddenly cry. "Airi, is everything fine? Why are you crying? Did anyone say something? Did anyone do something bad? Tell us. Who did it?"
"I did. I did somethin' wrong. Not only wrong, but terrible. So terrible that I can't even figure out how to make up for it," now that her emotions and dilemma in her heart flowed out as tears, she felt a lot more calm putting her words into it. "I took this time of the week to think over whatever I did. I took the time to mull over, where did everythin' go wrong. Since when my heart got filled with so much negativity, filth, and hatred that I ended up hurtin' those people who have kept me secured and protected against everythin'. I recall how badly I treated you two. I recall how badly I misjudged your concerns as something like cowardice. I recall how badly I blamed you two for everything which was my fault all along. I recall how I never tried to understand, I never could learn the lesson of being righteous, being just, and being humane which you have always taught me. And for all those, I am filled with so much regret that… even though, I still chose the wrong path. Just because I couldn't handle my regrets, I decided to kill myself. The actual coward one all this time was me. And only me. Yet… I blamed you, I blamed him, and I… *sob*... blamed everyone, except me. I thought I was the... right one always. But to think that having the strength and…*sob*... power blinded me so much that…" Airi's sobbing grew louder, and those started muffling her words.
"That's not…" Sara was about to get up from her seat to stop her tears, but Max stopped her, holding her hands. "Let her talk, Sara. Let her finish."
Seeing Max letting her talk further, she wiped down her tears vigorously with her palm and started talking, "I regretted not understanding your point of view, or the possibility that you could've been threatened way too much. I regretted not realizing that whatever you did, was for my own good, my safety. Instead of being grateful to it, I lashed out at you. And treated you like no enemy would do to their enemies. I have hurt you badly, and when I recalled all those at once, it weighed my heart so much that… yet I went ahead and done that stupid thing, which hurt you more."
Airi took a pause to calm herself down before going on. "And I know, for those things, I can never do anything to make up. Nothing could bring back the time. Even if I apologize, that won't make up for anything. Yet… I want to… apologize…"
Now, she looked straight ahead towards them with her tear-filled eyes. Her vision was blurry because of the tears, so she couldn't make out their faces, or see the expression they were having. Yet, she needs to say the things she planned to. "I… apologize for everything I did. My sin couldn't be washed away, but I hope to get my life back with the happiness we used to have… and I am prepared to do anything to get the happiness back."
"And also…" Now it was the time to say the thing she feared the most. She had to say it, and she was prepared to do anything to face that if things turn southwards. But still, she was scared. She hung her head downwards, and tears were dripping from her eyes, falling over her hands.
But she clutched the hem of her dress, and looked up to them again. No matter what, she needs to tell them straight, so that her sincerity, her feelings reach them. No matter what, she needed to fight back.
"I regret not telling this to you two, even to the moment I was about to die. I couldn't tell you that all this time, I really, really loved you, Maa, Paa."