Chereads / Starting With The End / Chapter 29 - Inner turmoil

Chapter 29 - Inner turmoil

"Hey Dew, Airi is fine right?" Hazel nervously asked the boy sitting beside her.

"I don't know. She should be… Yeah, sure, she would be…"

"Then why isn't she returning yet? It's almost the end of the lunch break." Emma was anxiously walking back and forth in the classroom, in front of Hazel and Dew. She was talking so loudly that everyone present there could hear her and tell how anxious those three were. Emma kept chewing on her nails to calm down her nerves, but that wasn't helping her at the least.

"That's it, I can't sit here anymore waiting for her! I am going! Hazel, Dew, you guys coming?"

Hazel and Dew looked at each other, just to get affirmation from one another. "Let's go. Moreover, sitting here doing nothing makes me feel worse, so better check that out ourselves, " Dew got up from his seat, and started walking towards the door.

All of a sudden, he halted his footsteps, as Airi came into his vision walking slowly into the classroom, and a bit dazed.

"AIRI! Finally, you are back!"

Both of the girls shouted so loud that Airi jumped off from her train of thoughts and broke apart from her daze. Meanwhile, her three impatient friends came to her rushing.

"What took you so long?"

"Is everything alright?"

"What did she say?"

"Was she normal? Was she rude? Was she nasty, sarcastic?"

Series of questions were shot at light speed towards her. She felt like grasping their questions and answering them was a lot harder than confronting Rena.

But the more she kept quiet, the more intense those questions were getting…

"Hey guys, relax!" Airi raised both of her hands in surrender, and by then, the entire class turned their attention to this noisy little crowd.

When Airi saw the entire class entered into an eerie silence, she took the chance to talk. "Will you even let me talk, or just bombard me with the bullets of questions?"

"Yeah yeah, sorry… Okay, you sit down first and have your lunch. Then talk. Dew bought you your favorite cream bun from the canteen." Emma ushered Dew to bring the bun they bought on their way back.

Airi took the bun from Dew's hand, tore the packaging, and took a bite of it. She pointed them to take their seats. When the other three sat down, she started describing what happened there.

The vivid description she was giving while chewing on her bun, she noticed that though her listeners should be her three friends, that ended up being a huge crowd of classmates.

'Aish, I suppose I shouldn't have told them those here… Well, who cares if the words start going around, " she thought to herself.

Yet, she couldn't go on talking about what was in her mind properly in front of them. Rena's true color needs to be revealed, but that has to wait a while. Moreover, her fanbase is too strong, so that might come out wrong. Airi wouldn't like to use such a lowly act just right now.

"Guys, let's talk on our way home, okay?"

Hazel understood that this wouldn't be the right time to talk, so she hurriedly talked back, "yeah, guys, let's give her time to eat, we will hear the rest later."

And soon, the bell rang, while she barely managed to finish her meal.

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After the classes ended, all four of them went home together, while Airi described everything in detail. Somehow, she wanted to hide the fact of how she confronted her with her words, because that might put a bad impression on them. But nevertheless, she said it all, and to her surprise, they took those so well.

"Oh my God, you really said those! You are so cool!" Emma exclaimed with joy.

"To think that she really was a bully, not someone who was a bit bold, that sure is new," Hazel commented after hearing all from Airi.

"See? Told you. She isn't that cool or bold like she seems to be. She is just someone who is rude to people. Right, Airi?" Dew looked at Airi, but found her dazed in her own thoughts.

Dew shakes her shoulders a little, "Earth to Airi! You there? What are you thinking about?"

Airi looked back at Dew. She took a pause before speaking her mind. "I am just thinking, she seemed bold in the hallway too…"

"Hallway? What about it? Why don't I know something like that?" Emma squinted her eyes in irritation.

"Do you ever stay calm to listen to all those gossips?" Dew talked back to Emma. "So, what about it, Airi?"

Airi gave a blank stare to her road ahead, and said, "Nah… just, Rena definitely bullied Sayuri there, but…" she halted on her words before continuing, "people like Rena get the chance to do so because people like Sayuri act all weak and timid. I mean… she should have the strength to talk back, no one's going to stand up for you like in those movies and all."

Hazel carefully listened to her and let Airi finish. After that, she commented, "That sure is true. We need to be our own savior against things, but who knows, maybe she is that weak to even talk at all."

"Is being weak good then? Is being trampled under feet well then?" Airi questioned her back, hearing her words.

"No. I mean, who likes to be weak? But if they are, then aren't strong people supposed to help?"

"They don't though! So what use is there to remain weak all the time?"

In the end, Airi's voice rose quite a bit causing the other three to stop in their steps.

Hazel gripped her hands, looking at her concerned, "Airi, everything's fine with you right? You are not bullied or something, right?"

Dew and Emma also got worried by the words of Airi. And if Airi was also one of the people who used to get bullied, that would feel too bad to them.

But Airi almost immediately refuted Hazel's doubt. "No, no, there is no way I would be… I am strong enough to protect myself… it's just…"

She can't stand weakness and weak people… that's all.

But she was afraid to voice that out, lest her friends should make her someone like Rena.

She wasn't in support of bullying or insulting people.

But she sure prefers being bold enough for pointing out people's weaknesses to keep silent.

But probably if she says her ideologies here, that might make them judgemental towards her. So she decided to keep quiet.

"It's just…? What is it, Airi?" Dew asked back as Airi didn't finish her line.

"Nothing… just so you know, I am alright, and I wouldn't be a victim of bullying so relax."

'Yeah… this is for the best… they don't need to know all of this.'

She kept that thought to herself.

And the thought kept her occupied for quite a time. Even after reaching home that day, she couldn't brush out the thought. She kept wondering, in this huge cycle of powerful and powerless people, who is exactly at fault? If we bully people, that makes us bad, that makes us people without morals. So we need to act friendly, patient, calm and tolerating. But if someone abuses us, or torments us without any reason, then shouldn't we fight back? Shouldn't we stand up against the evil, the bad? Or then also, should we act like timid ones, tolerating everything, without voicing out anything?

The people around us become powerful just because they have people powerless around them. If we give that much authority to them, they are sure going to use it. So, in all of these, who is to blame for the mess? Powerful ones? Powerless ones?

Who is to blame for everything? Rena, for being the bully? Sayuri, for letting Rena be the bully? Or Airi, who still can't judge the simple things people easily do?

Airi never liked bullies, but she despised the weak ones. If she just takes the example today, what would have happened if she chose to stay quiet instead of talking back? Would that have been better? Would that make everything normal as it is? Would that make her friends more okay? Or more disappointed? Would she have become like that personality she hates the most?

How do people find it easy to judge someone as good or bad? No matter how much she gave thought to it, Airi was finding it hard to do.

But as the days passed by, those thoughts got buried deep down. And Rena too didn't do anything out of nowhere, so that event didn't even resurface in her mind. Airi hoped that she would make problems for her, and if she did, Airi would've had to do the same nevertheless, no matter how much she hated the idea. So she was kind of glad that didn't turn out that way.

And just like that, days passed by.